Everyone in the house pretty much had their own specific spots they'd go to for the express purpose of sulking.
Lust usually retreated to her room. Envy, without fail, could be located on the roof. Wrath either disappeared under the furniture or, lately, the next-door neighbor's porch. And Heather, well, she liked to vary it up a little, but she tended to favor either one of the city's many non-battling gyms or the downtown junkyard, which was full of smashable objects you wouldn't get arrested for breaking. Henry had the Ogre Hut (tm).
As for Al, she didn't know him as well as the rest.
But she had known him long enough to have a hunch at where she'd find him later that evening.
And sure enough, there he was.
Sitting down by the creek on Route 34.
Honestly, it's not a bad choice for a Sulk Spot. It's far enough off the path that there aren't yelling trainers stomping around in the grass, and the sound of rushing water is soothing. Even in the evening, the distant city lights reflect nicely on the surface of the river.
She can see why he comes here.
He'd hear soft wingbeats, the sound of a Pokemon landing somewhere up the bank behind him, and then the electric noise of it being returned to its Pokeball. Followed by footsteps.
"Hey."
LESS ANGRY THAN SHE'D BEEN SEVERAL HOURS EARLIER, it's Heather.
She wouldn't say she's here to make amends, because even if she'd probably overreacted... well, she still considers herself justified. But someone has to reach back out to Al and it's sure as hell not gonna be Envy.
Besides... there are matters she has to set the record straight on, and it's not Al's fault he hadn't known about them ahead of time.
He's been out here for quite a while now. He hadn't bothered to put Clara back into her Pokeball, and the overlarge Pidgeot sits contently in a fat bird ball just a few feet away, blocking most of the setting sun's rays from reaching him. Curled up with his knees drawn to his chest, he doesn't react to Heather's arrival beyond a stiffening of his shoulders and a turn of his head away from her.
He was an asshole. He can admit that, now that the hot anger has simmered away into a low boil like it always does with him. He'd not even considered Heather's choices at all, nor the fact that even if she hadn't seen his worst for a long, long time, she was definitely aware of it. She's known Envy much longer than he has, and it's not like she's stupid.
But he still couldn't help worrying. Al knows the type of person Dante was, the sort of things he probably must have done, in a very vague sense. Even if Envy never really meant to hurt Heather consciously, it's still a risk. France had been calm and soothing, but Envy and Heather just keep egging each other on, and a dynamic like that...
Is he worrying too much, or not enough? It's hard to reason past the memories of Envy's arm going through his brother's chest, or the vicious hatred that neither of them had ever earned.
He tosses the stick he had been using to draw alchemical circles in the moist earth out into the water, and pauses for a long few moments before he responds.
Yeah... it was mainly when they'd gotten home (after a lot of bitching and probably a trip to the aforementioned junkyard to hurl old televisions at the ground and watch them shatter) only to find no sign of the young ex-alchemist whatsoever that she'd even thought about the inevitable fact that she'd have to go find him.
A noise that's half chuckle and half sigh rises in her throat when she sees his crouched silhouette turn its head away.
Because oh, boy. Well, it's not as though she hasn't come mentally prepared for what might be a difficult conversation.
She doesn't approach until he actually gives a verbal response, and even then, she sits down a couple feet away from him rather than just flopping right down and flinging an arm across his shoulders like she might normally.
"I thought you might be down here. It's a good place to cool off."
She'll take a moment there to just let the rushing water fill the silence, but assume he doesn't speak up first, it's only a couple of minutes before she continues.
"I shouldn't have yelled at you, earlier. You were out of line but I know you were just trying to look out for me. So, I'm sorry for going into scary bitch mode."
Al keeps his gaze pointed away, but the stiffness of his posture slackens by a little. He might be frustrated and hurt, but more than that he cares about Heather. A lot, really.
"...I kinda earned it."
He really can't deny that.
"But...you know why I'm worried, right? He's...you don't have to be malicious to hurt someone. He's recovered a lot here, but I'm sure there's still things that might...I don't know, set him off?" He sighs, starting to look back at her but stopping partway through. "I want you to be happy, but I want you safe, too."
Now is the point where she feels like she can probably reach out to put a hand on his shoulder, so she does. She keeps her voice low, but still earnest. And most importantly, not bearing any traces of her anger from earlier.
"I know you just wanna make sure everybody's okay. And... I should've focused on that instead of getting offended right away."
She doesn't necessarily feel she wasn't justified in being offended, but... well. It's a house full of hotheads and Heather's always been able to breathe fire with the best of them, for better or for worse. Usually for worse, let's be real.
"To tell you the truth, the part where you were talking about Envy being dangerous wasn't what set me off. I know he can be unpredictable and I know you know-- you've seen parts of him that I haven't. I get that. And I get why you'd be scared for me. You know things, and it's normal to act on that."
She pauses for a breath there, taking it in slowly before letting it out in a long exhale.
"... The thing is... how much do you now about me, Al?"
The question isn't accusatory or upset-sounding-- it's just a question. And if he does look over at her, he'll find her watching him expectantly, waiting for an answer.
He doesn't shrug off the contact, but nor does he really respond to it. Partly it's that his foul mood hasn't completely ebbed, but mostly it's...hesitance. Hesitance to accept this change, hesitance to say the first things that come to mind.
But he does look over, frowning with faint confusion as he thinks that over.
"I..." How much does he know about Heather? About her history? He's said bits and pieces about his own past to her, but... "I know...that you've been hurt before. That there's weird stuff in your and Henry's world, and that you could relate to some of what Envy's been through. And that...your dreams can get as bad as ours."
Yeah, that's... she didn't really expect him to have gotten over it entirely yet. It's understandable. She doesn't withdraw the hand right away-- when she does, she just kind of lets it slide down and plant in the grass so that she can lean back, turning her gaze back to the river.
"Yeah, that's all true. Kinda bare-bones, but true."
The lead-in's been accomplished... now comes the hard part.
She rehearsed a few different conversational paths in her head on the way, but of course that only takes you so far. She did know one thing, though. Over her years in Johto, various editions of her sordid tale had been told to various individuals (not many, though. There will probably never be 'many'), all with their own narrative quirk. A bleak and sometimes futile attempt to make it all make more sense, to that specific person at that specific time.
That's one thing about this conversation that she knows won't be hard: picking the spin, which is a detail that Al himself just brought up. Relating to Envy.
"Obviously, where I come from is different from your world. There's different rules, different societies. But between... well, you, and Envy, and Lust, I've picked up a few things. The mechanics, obviously-- the stuff about how Homunculi are born. And... the other stuff, too. The stuff about Dante."
The emphasis put on that word alone is enough to spell out clear as day the hatred brimming under the surface of her otherwise-calm demeanor for that woman. For the woman who, she's gleaned, was clearly behind the suffering of EVERYONE. Envy, Lust, Greed, that little feral kid... and Al, too. She hasn't been told as much in plain words, but she won't believe anything else.
Because...
"So here's a thing from my world: there was a woman. And she was very, very smart. She could figure a stranger out in a glance and have them wrapped around her finger in five seconds. An entire community-- maybe even more than one-- all with wool over their eyes, following her. Even the ones who hated her, she knew how to play. Because people, to her, were resources. Something to be tapped into and used up, and then thrown away, if they couldn't be used anymore. That was just the way the world worked; with her pulling the strings on all her little puppets. Putting plans in place and letting them simmer for years. Getting her pawns to do her dirty-work for her. And always, always keeping her eyes on the prize: infinite power."
NOW she turns back to Al, glancing at him sidelong.
He listens, quietly, brows furrowing slightly when she starts, and drawing together much more sharply when The Bitch is brought up. Heather's feelings about the woman are not alien to him--outside of possibly Wrath and Henry, he doesn't think there is a single member of the household that wouldn't like to see her eviscerated and roasted into ashes. And the way that Heather describes this other woman...
"Yeah. It does." He straightens a little, turning to face Heather properly now. "What did she do to you?"
A mirthless chuckle escapes her throat when Al cuts right to the chase. Because OH yeah, he knows where this is going.
All in good time, though.
So her reply is to shake her head and chuckle dryly.
"Man, she did a lot to everybody. What didn't she do?"
It's not a proper answer, but he's about to get a real one anyway as she continues.
"Obviously, her name wasn't Dante. It was Dahlia. And Dahlia did not have friends. I don't think she was actually capable of viewing anyone as a 'friend'. Maybe an equal, if they were a significant threat. But never a friend, and even then, she always had backup plans. A way to take you down if you ever got a little too aware, a little too close to things you weren't supposed to know or see. And one of the biggest things that got Dahlia to the top of the food chain, figuratively speaking, was one of those backup plans in particular. A backup plan that was so effective it wound up becoming her main plan. See... Dahlia had a child."
Al's smart.
He can read between the lines.
She knows he'll probably know right off the bat who the 'child' she's referring to actually is. But for the sake of the little narrative of parallels she's got going on here, she keeps her wording careful and nonspecific, her expression unreadable as she stares out at the faint lights on the water.
"Dahlia's child was... special. It could do things. It could make Dahlia's enemies 'disappear'. It was so good at making her enemies disappear, in fact, that as soon as she found out what it was capable of, she became more powerful than she ever had been before, even with all her cunning and puppetry. The child was the perfect murder weapon, the ace in her hand. To everyone else, it was a monster. And believe me, plenty of people called it that."
'Witch', actually, was the more common insult she'd had levied at her by jeering schoolmates. But 'monster' had showed up its fair share of times, and feels more relevant to this particular conversation.
"And you bet she played that up. Dahlia had built her empire by manipulating and her childrearing was no different. If it showed disobedience, reluctance to do as commanded, she would get what she wanted through a combination of pain and promises. Always the perfect amount of each, to keep her little monster equal parts docile and terrified. If it was a good little weapon, no punishment that day. And if it was really good, why, Mommy would make sure they could be a happy, normal, human family. And it worked. After awhile, the child was happy to do as it was told, because that's how conditioning works. If 'taking care' of one of Mommy's enemies meant that it got smiles and sweet words instead of having its arm held to the stove burner that night, what idiot wouldn't?"
"Of course. At that point, that's just...that's just survival."
It leaves a sick feeling in Al's gut to think about. Al isn't naive, he knows that horrible things like this happen all the time, even without the added incentive of supernatural power. But the thought of a child being put through such hell...
His fists clench tightly.
"Once you're in that deep, running away doesn't even seem like an option."
She nods. He pretty much summed it up perfectly; it really was all about survival, all of it. Even when your emotions convinced you that there really wasn't anything wrong with what was happening, deep down that primal lizard brain at the top of your spine knew that it was a matter of staying alive or risking death.
"Mmhm. That's what it came down to. Maybe there was a time when running away would have worked, but after a point... no. It was too valuable to her. Even if it had tried, there was no way she was going to let it go until she got what she wanted. And it did try, eventually. But, well, I'm getting to that part."
A slight pause is necessary. She'd done a pretty good job steeling herself up for this conversation, and her voice and expression both have stayed level this whole time. Her breathing, even and steady. It's nothing like the conversation she'd had with Lust a few weeks before, where she'd been fighting even to construct coherent sentences. But even with the constitution of a freaking stone pillar, recounting these events is hideously difficult to do. Speaking in the third person about it kind of helps, a little, but not by much.
After taking in a deep breath, she goes on.
"The thing is, of course, Dahlia wasn't perfect. For all that she'd made herself practically untouchable, she was arrogant. And eventually, her greed and impatience made her fuck up badly enough that she lost control of the child. Not physically, mind you-- the kid was still completely at her mercy, a prisoner in its own body. And also, well, in a locked basement. But the difference was, now it was awake. All the promises? They'd been broken, in ways that would make the most hardened person in the world want to puke. In ways that not even the most brainwashed person could ignore or explain away. And it knew for a fact that Dahlia was the enemy."
Another pause, and another deep breath. This time, when she goes on, there's something tired-- exhausted, even old in her voice. She no longer refers to herself as 'it'.
"It took years. Years of pain, desperation, and violence. I did things I'm not proud of, plenty of them. And I died, over and over again. In almost every way you could imagine. Burning. Bludgeoning. Drowning. I've been stabbed to death, and torn apart by dogs. I've felt my body crushed and ground up under train wheels. I always came back, because that was just part of what I am. Even though there were times where I really wished dying would just be the end of it."
It seems like FOREVER since she actually LOOKED at the guy she's talking to, and she finally turns back to Al. The sun is well and truly down at this point, and her features are hard to make out in the gloom. But even so, there's something firelike in her gaze.
"I also killed. In those first days, when all I had to escape from was that damn basement and that irreparably broken body, I used my powers, the way I used to at Dahlia's command. Later, when I'd finally broken loose and was fighting to stay free, I killed like a human would, with weapons or my bare hands. I've tasted a lot of blood in my several lives and plenty of it hasn't been mine. I've gone head to head with horrors that I can't even describe, and the one who emerged from those encounters alive was me."
Her tone has been serious this entire time, but now she scoots a little closer, reaching out to firmly grasp both of Al's shoulders so that she can look him directly in the eye.
"There's a couple things I want you to take away from this conversation, Al. One of them is that, deliberately or not, there is not a single thing on this green earth that Envy could do to me that hasn't already been done. And that if, by some lapse in sanity, he ever decides he wants to try? It's not my safety that you should be worried about."
It's a bit like a weight slamming into his chest, when Heather admits her deaths. That's what hits the most, more than anything else. He'd really thought that, horrors or not, she'd been a normal human, closer in experience to himself than the homunculii. But...well, clearly that's not the case. He remembers a conversation ages ago in a dream, something about souls and vessels...
Now he knows what that was about, at least.
He doesn't flinch away when Heather grabs his shoulders, though his expression is pretty well dumbfounded. In the silence after Heather finishes, Alphonse blinks and thinks very carefully about his next few words.
"...I...right. I mean, I'm still gonna worry, I don't think I can stop but...I believe you that you can take care of yourself."
Why is every woman that he knows utterly terrifying in some way?
ALL WOMEN ARE TERRIFYING, AL. ALL OF THEM. EVERY ONE.
Heather lets him take his time to find words-- what she just unloaded onto him is one hell of a thing to process.
She can't honestly blame him for thinking she was a normal human. Honestly, in virtually every respect besides her origins, she is a normal human, and she certainly knows how to play the part. It's not like with the Homunculi, where every little detail of being alive took them weeks or even months to get used to-- no, she's a different brand of monster. And honestly, if pressed, she wouldn't even fully know how to classify herself.
There's no taxonomy for things born of the Other side of Silent Hill.
"You can worry-- god knows I do."
About Envy? About the relationship? She doesn't clarify.
"But yeah. I can. ... Henry, too. He's not like I am, at least not in the sense of all the stuff I just told you. But he's fought plenty of monsters."
A slight pause, and then, for the first time since she started getting into the heavy stuff, that crooked grin peeks back onto her face.
"Why do you think he and I are so good at keeping Envy on his best behavior?"
... OF COURSE, Envy's 'best' behavior is still.... QUESTIONABLE, but he hasn't tried to kill Al in awhile!! Eh? EH???
Really, he should just go live in a house with only cats. Clearly the best way to spend his life.
It is a hell of a thing, but between his own experiences and the exposure to so many worlds being in Johto has brought, it's a bit easier to wrap his head around. Enough that he's not looking askance at Heather like she's suddenly sprouted horns or grown hideous fangs--she's still his dear friend-slash-sister, still the same woman he's flicked cereal at across the kitchen table at five AM. The only thing that's changed is how much he knows about her.
He chuckles softly and brings up one hand to pat her shoulder in return, offering a somewhat tired and amused smirk. Yeah, Envy's improved behavior to his half-sibling definitely wasn't something that would have happened without some form of support.
"That I can definitely believe, after the way he's been acting. We, uh...had a bit of a discussion about the things he's seen back home." Al pauses, frowning for a moment. "...do the candles really keep things away where you're from? I didn't want to ask Henry, they obviously make him feel safer, but it seems...weird?"
"You know, I don't actually know. That might just be a Henry thing." Because she had never thought to try candles or any other form of... warding, or whatever it was you could call Henry's methods. But, their situations had been distinct, and after all, the Otherworld was different for everyone. "I never tried it. Not really a fan of fire, so... I wouldn't quite make the association between that and 'safety'. But, well, he was defending a specific space, and I wasn't, so maybe... anyway."
They're not here to talk about Henry, as... conversation-worthy as he is.
"Al, did I ever tell you what happened when you first got here? Between me and Envy?"
She's sure she at least mentioned it that first time she actually found out who Al was, but how much detail she'd gone into, she can't recall. It couldn't have been much since the kid was still virtually a stranger at the time, but wellp, NO TIME TO FIX THAT LIKE THE PRESENT.
Al frowns, but he doesn't mind letting the topic drop. There are a great many things that are 'just Henry things', and having candles burning on every available surface is probably one of the less weird ones, all told.
It's just a very aggravating one for everyone's nostrils at the moment.
"...sort of? You never mentioned specifics."
At least that he can recall--that conversation was so long ago, and he had been paying attention to rather different parts of that exchange at the time.
IN HENRY'S DEFENSE, they totally did work. At least when it came to expelling hauntings. But that was home, and this was here. Just as the radio function on Heather's 'Gear has never exploded into static to alert her to the presence of nearby monsters, she's pretty sure that the only way the candles are keeping anything away from the house right now is by the suffocating smell. Nothing supernatural about that.
But ANYWAY...
"Well... we were in the same town when you showed up. First thing he did was call me up on the phone. Almost begged me to come down from my hotel room and stop him from getting on Carl and flying all the way back to New Bark, just to attack you. Maybe even try to kill you."
Actually, definitely try to kill him, at that point.
"He was a total mess. Shaking, yelling... Even poor Carl was kind of freaked out-- I remember the second I was able to get Envy to let go of the halter, he took off. Anyway, what followed that was... a long conversation. I was able to calm him down, convinced him to leave you alone-- or. Well. Kind of. For the time being."
They both knew Envy had promptly broken his promise once the opportunity struck, but HE'S GOTTEN BETTER SINCE THEN. No need to dwell on that.
"The thing is, the reason he called me, specifically, to come talk some sense into him was because not too long before that... something similar happened to me."
She shakes her head a little, drawing one leg up to her chest and wrapping an arm around it.
"I won't launch into another freaking odyssey, you've listened to me flap my lips enough today... and maybe you saw that video I posted a few weeks ago anyway. Or not, it was at ass o'clock in the morning. But long story short... someone from my past showed up. Someone who'd taken something very important away from me. Someone who I'd dedicated my very life to killing, once. And I tried to do it. Here, in Johto."
A dry, mirthless chuckle.
"Burned some bridges in the process, lemme tell ya. I think only one person supported it, wanted me to go through with it. That was Envy. ... But I couldn't. I couldn't do it. The reasons why are... irrelevant, to what we're talking about. What's important is when I got back, and I told him I hadn't been able to kill her... I don't think he understood, hell, I don't think I even totally understood why I couldn't-- but it stuck with him. He remembered. So, when you came, and he wound up in the exact same position I'd been in... he called me. Instead of charging off with guns blazing, he reached out, to me. Because he knew I'd stop him from making the same mistake I did."
Al had seen that post go up, actually--much later in the day, scrolling back through the feed. But at the time...he'd been stressed and dealing with his own ghost, and by the time he remembered again, the time to talk to her about it had well and truly passed.
But that's something for another time.
He listens again, a faint frown on his face as Heather explains. He remembers the explosive argument with Envy, had even spent the entire night waiting for Envy to come out of the darkness with a weapon in hand. But nothing had happened, and...now he knows who to thank for that.
"...I'm glad he had you around, back then. I'm not gonna lie, I spent the first week expecting him to jump out of the bushes yelling about--I don't know, me being our father or some bullshit."
He sighs and looks back out at the river. There's a lot he feels like he should say, but...he doesn't know how. Regrets and memories and how things have changed so much in the past few years...
She can't exactly blame him for that. Especially since even now, after so much progress, Envy still hasn't completely outgrown his tendency to pick fights with the single Elric he shares this world with.
"Heh. We certainly do."
Reaching down, she picks up a stone and tosses it into the river. It's so dark now that the splash of it landing can't even be seen.
"... We've talked about your dad. Envy and I, I mean. I know he's probably kind of a biased source of information, but even based on what he told me, you couldn't be further from your father."
Al's expression tightens by the slightest amount, but in the waning light it might be easy to miss. The silence that stretches on longer than normal after her words, though...that's a little less so.
"...yeah. I know he wasn't...he didn't make the best decisions. Not back then, and not even with...with us."
With Trisha. With the sons he said he loved in his very last moments.
"But...there had to be reasons for it. I'm sure he thought he was...protecting us, somehow..."
It's hard to miss the faint note of desperate belief in his voice.
If this hadn't been such an intense discussion from the very start, maybe she would have missed it. But she's been paying a lot of attention. And so, she catches that moment. Almost more from the faintest sound of his muscles shifting than from the look of his face.
When he speaks, her throat tightens, too.
She can't-- won't-- mention the conditions of the deal she made with Envy. Even if those conditions were pretty much rendered broken by the circumstances since the deal was made... she's not going to tell Alphonse Elric that she only-slightly-blindly promised to help Envy murder their father.
"... People never do anything without a reason... but they don't have to be good reasons."
She pauses, letting out a long sigh and raking her fingers through her hair.
"... I'm not gonna try and tell you that your dad's a monster. It's... honestly not my place to. Or even my business."
Even if, as early as Envy's first confessions, the first information she'd ever gotten about his dark origins, she'd always suspected that the father who abandoned him was probably responsible for harming others, too. A tiger don't change its stripes, and Heather has no sympathy whatsoever for Hohenheim.
"... But there's something else I think you should know. ... When I died, the very first time? ... It was strange and complicated, but... the man who straight-up went through the gates of Hell to try and get me back... what he got back wasn't his daughter. The parts that made her up... those were still there. I was her, but... I also wasn't. And he knew that. He knew, deep down, that what he got back was something else. Something... maybe even monstrous. ... He wasn't wrong. I was different, and dangerous. And I know the temptation was there-- he wrote about it in his letters to me later on. That there were times he almost killed or abandoned me... or god forbid, left me back there in Hell."
Not with Dahlia-- god forbid. That bitch was already dead, by that point. If only Envy had been so lucky. .. But then again, it had been Harry Mason who'd made Dahlia's death possible to begin with. If he'd cut and run...
"... But he didn't. He kept me. Raised me, taught me. Loved me like his very own daughter. Even when he had to sacrifice so much to protect me, even when in the back of his head I'm sure he knew that he could have lived a happy, normal life by leaving me on the doorstep of a hospital and trying to forget I ever existed. ... He's the reason I couldn't kill that woman from my past. He's the reason I'm here, able to talk and laugh and carve out a life for myself. He's the reason I didn't turn into a monster."
She trails off for a moment, again. Picking out the words, because this next part is important.
"... That's why Envy and I work, Al. I know you're worried, but I said earlier that there were a couple of things I wanted you to take out of this conversation-- well, this is the second one. The biggest-- maybe the only-- difference between me and Envy is that I had help. I had a father. ... And Envy... didn't. That's it. That's the difference."
Al frowns, ever so slightly. Part of him wants to defend their father on some level, but...he can't deny what Hohenheim did to Envy. No matter how the man may have changed, it doesn't erase what happened in the past. It would be a lie and an insult, and Envy deserves better. Deserved better.
When Al is really honest with himself, he admits they all did.
He's...not entirely sure what to say in response. There are a lot of words floating around in his head, but...they're not his place to say. And Heather, in many ways, is right. If Envy'd had any form of real support back then, he wouldn't have turned out this way. He could have been...someone different, someone that wasn't shaped by hatred and jealousy and poisoned words whispered into his ear. Who that person would have been, if he could have been...maybe an actual brother to him and Edward...it's impossible to say.
What even is there to say? Even though she'd done her best to plan, Heather had sort of been flying by the seat of her pants this whole time, even though she'd pretty much monopolized the conversation. Hopefully without overstepping any boundaries in the process, but... well. Al was bound to find out more about her sooner or later.
Now had been as good a time as any.
In any case, she doesn't blame Al for a shortage of words.
She doesn't say anything for a moment, either. Just reaches out to put an arm around his shoulders, if he lets her.
"... So... still mad at us for sneaking around behind everyone's backs?"
It's a slightly feeble attempt to bring some humor back into the conversation, but she has to at least try.
He does, and leans against her when she pulls him close. He can't help a faint, self-depreciating chuckle at the joke.
"No, you had a right. I proved that one pretty well." He turns, and wraps both arms around Heather in a tight hug. "If you guys make each other happy, I don't have a right to get in the middle of that."
But she says it with a laugh, and ruffles his hair for emphasis. No, she's not angry anymore. She'd been furious at the time, but to be honest, looking back, it was... pretty hilarious. Even if it had only happened a few hours ago.
The hug is a little more surprising, but she returns it without hesitation.
"Things will be fine. ... Plus, not to mention... as Envy's official partner, my say has even more clout. If I tell him to stop being a butthole, he has to listen."
Evening, 9/18
Lust usually retreated to her room. Envy, without fail, could be located on the roof. Wrath either disappeared under the furniture or, lately, the next-door neighbor's porch. And Heather, well, she liked to vary it up a little, but she tended to favor either one of the city's many non-battling gyms or the downtown junkyard, which was full of smashable objects you wouldn't get arrested for breaking. Henry had the Ogre Hut (tm).
As for Al, she didn't know him as well as the rest.
But she had known him long enough to have a hunch at where she'd find him later that evening.
And sure enough, there he was.
Sitting down by the creek on Route 34.
Honestly, it's not a bad choice for a Sulk Spot. It's far enough off the path that there aren't yelling trainers stomping around in the grass, and the sound of rushing water is soothing. Even in the evening, the distant city lights reflect nicely on the surface of the river.
She can see why he comes here.
He'd hear soft wingbeats, the sound of a Pokemon landing somewhere up the bank behind him, and then the electric noise of it being returned to its Pokeball. Followed by footsteps.
"Hey."
LESS ANGRY THAN SHE'D BEEN SEVERAL HOURS EARLIER, it's Heather.
She wouldn't say she's here to make amends, because even if she'd probably overreacted... well, she still considers herself justified. But someone has to reach back out to Al and it's sure as hell not gonna be Envy.
Besides... there are matters she has to set the record straight on, and it's not Al's fault he hadn't known about them ahead of time.
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He was an asshole. He can admit that, now that the hot anger has simmered away into a low boil like it always does with him. He'd not even considered Heather's choices at all, nor the fact that even if she hadn't seen his worst for a long, long time, she was definitely aware of it. She's known Envy much longer than he has, and it's not like she's stupid.
But he still couldn't help worrying. Al knows the type of person Dante was, the sort of things he probably must have done, in a very vague sense. Even if Envy never really meant to hurt Heather consciously, it's still a risk. France had been calm and soothing, but Envy and Heather just keep egging each other on, and a dynamic like that...
Is he worrying too much, or not enough? It's hard to reason past the memories of Envy's arm going through his brother's chest, or the vicious hatred that neither of them had ever earned.
He tosses the stick he had been using to draw alchemical circles in the moist earth out into the water, and pauses for a long few moments before he responds.
"...hey."
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A noise that's half chuckle and half sigh rises in her throat when she sees his crouched silhouette turn its head away.
Because oh, boy. Well, it's not as though she hasn't come mentally prepared for what might be a difficult conversation.
She doesn't approach until he actually gives a verbal response, and even then, she sits down a couple feet away from him rather than just flopping right down and flinging an arm across his shoulders like she might normally.
"I thought you might be down here. It's a good place to cool off."
She'll take a moment there to just let the rushing water fill the silence, but assume he doesn't speak up first, it's only a couple of minutes before she continues.
"I shouldn't have yelled at you, earlier. You were out of line but I know you were just trying to look out for me. So, I'm sorry for going into scary bitch mode."
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"...I kinda earned it."
He really can't deny that.
"But...you know why I'm worried, right? He's...you don't have to be malicious to hurt someone. He's recovered a lot here, but I'm sure there's still things that might...I don't know, set him off?" He sighs, starting to look back at her but stopping partway through. "I want you to be happy, but I want you safe, too."
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Now is the point where she feels like she can probably reach out to put a hand on his shoulder, so she does. She keeps her voice low, but still earnest. And most importantly, not bearing any traces of her anger from earlier.
"I know you just wanna make sure everybody's okay. And... I should've focused on that instead of getting offended right away."
She doesn't necessarily feel she wasn't justified in being offended, but... well. It's a house full of hotheads and Heather's always been able to breathe fire with the best of them, for better or for worse. Usually for worse, let's be real.
"To tell you the truth, the part where you were talking about Envy being dangerous wasn't what set me off. I know he can be unpredictable and I know you know-- you've seen parts of him that I haven't. I get that. And I get why you'd be scared for me. You know things, and it's normal to act on that."
She pauses for a breath there, taking it in slowly before letting it out in a long exhale.
"... The thing is... how much do you now about me, Al?"
The question isn't accusatory or upset-sounding-- it's just a question. And if he does look over at her, he'll find her watching him expectantly, waiting for an answer.
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But he does look over, frowning with faint confusion as he thinks that over.
"I..." How much does he know about Heather? About her history? He's said bits and pieces about his own past to her, but... "I know...that you've been hurt before. That there's weird stuff in your and Henry's world, and that you could relate to some of what Envy's been through. And that...your dreams can get as bad as ours."
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"Yeah, that's all true. Kinda bare-bones, but true."
The lead-in's been accomplished... now comes the hard part.
She rehearsed a few different conversational paths in her head on the way, but of course that only takes you so far. She did know one thing, though. Over her years in Johto, various editions of her sordid tale had been told to various individuals (not many, though. There will probably never be 'many'), all with their own narrative quirk. A bleak and sometimes futile attempt to make it all make more sense, to that specific person at that specific time.
That's one thing about this conversation that she knows won't be hard: picking the spin, which is a detail that Al himself just brought up. Relating to Envy.
"Obviously, where I come from is different from your world. There's different rules, different societies. But between... well, you, and Envy, and Lust, I've picked up a few things. The mechanics, obviously-- the stuff about how Homunculi are born. And... the other stuff, too. The stuff about Dante."
The emphasis put on that word alone is enough to spell out clear as day the hatred brimming under the surface of her otherwise-calm demeanor for that woman. For the woman who, she's gleaned, was clearly behind the suffering of EVERYONE. Envy, Lust, Greed, that little feral kid... and Al, too. She hasn't been told as much in plain words, but she won't believe anything else.
Because...
"So here's a thing from my world: there was a woman. And she was very, very smart. She could figure a stranger out in a glance and have them wrapped around her finger in five seconds. An entire community-- maybe even more than one-- all with wool over their eyes, following her. Even the ones who hated her, she knew how to play. Because people, to her, were resources. Something to be tapped into and used up, and then thrown away, if they couldn't be used anymore. That was just the way the world worked; with her pulling the strings on all her little puppets. Putting plans in place and letting them simmer for years. Getting her pawns to do her dirty-work for her. And always, always keeping her eyes on the prize: infinite power."
NOW she turns back to Al, glancing at him sidelong.
"Sound familiar?"
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"Yeah. It does." He straightens a little, turning to face Heather properly now. "What did she do to you?"
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All in good time, though.
So her reply is to shake her head and chuckle dryly.
"Man, she did a lot to everybody. What didn't she do?"
It's not a proper answer, but he's about to get a real one anyway as she continues.
"Obviously, her name wasn't Dante. It was Dahlia. And Dahlia did not have friends. I don't think she was actually capable of viewing anyone as a 'friend'. Maybe an equal, if they were a significant threat. But never a friend, and even then, she always had backup plans. A way to take you down if you ever got a little too aware, a little too close to things you weren't supposed to know or see. And one of the biggest things that got Dahlia to the top of the food chain, figuratively speaking, was one of those backup plans in particular. A backup plan that was so effective it wound up becoming her main plan. See... Dahlia had a child."
Al's smart.
He can read between the lines.
She knows he'll probably know right off the bat who the 'child' she's referring to actually is. But for the sake of the little narrative of parallels she's got going on here, she keeps her wording careful and nonspecific, her expression unreadable as she stares out at the faint lights on the water.
"Dahlia's child was... special. It could do things. It could make Dahlia's enemies 'disappear'. It was so good at making her enemies disappear, in fact, that as soon as she found out what it was capable of, she became more powerful than she ever had been before, even with all her cunning and puppetry. The child was the perfect murder weapon, the ace in her hand. To everyone else, it was a monster. And believe me, plenty of people called it that."
'Witch', actually, was the more common insult she'd had levied at her by jeering schoolmates. But 'monster' had showed up its fair share of times, and feels more relevant to this particular conversation.
"And you bet she played that up. Dahlia had built her empire by manipulating and her childrearing was no different. If it showed disobedience, reluctance to do as commanded, she would get what she wanted through a combination of pain and promises. Always the perfect amount of each, to keep her little monster equal parts docile and terrified. If it was a good little weapon, no punishment that day. And if it was really good, why, Mommy would make sure they could be a happy, normal, human family. And it worked. After awhile, the child was happy to do as it was told, because that's how conditioning works. If 'taking care' of one of Mommy's enemies meant that it got smiles and sweet words instead of having its arm held to the stove burner that night, what idiot wouldn't?"
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It leaves a sick feeling in Al's gut to think about. Al isn't naive, he knows that horrible things like this happen all the time, even without the added incentive of supernatural power. But the thought of a child being put through such hell...
His fists clench tightly.
"Once you're in that deep, running away doesn't even seem like an option."
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"Mmhm. That's what it came down to. Maybe there was a time when running away would have worked, but after a point... no. It was too valuable to her. Even if it had tried, there was no way she was going to let it go until she got what she wanted. And it did try, eventually. But, well, I'm getting to that part."
A slight pause is necessary. She'd done a pretty good job steeling herself up for this conversation, and her voice and expression both have stayed level this whole time. Her breathing, even and steady. It's nothing like the conversation she'd had with Lust a few weeks before, where she'd been fighting even to construct coherent sentences. But even with the constitution of a freaking stone pillar, recounting these events is hideously difficult to do. Speaking in the third person about it kind of helps, a little, but not by much.
After taking in a deep breath, she goes on.
"The thing is, of course, Dahlia wasn't perfect. For all that she'd made herself practically untouchable, she was arrogant. And eventually, her greed and impatience made her fuck up badly enough that she lost control of the child. Not physically, mind you-- the kid was still completely at her mercy, a prisoner in its own body. And also, well, in a locked basement. But the difference was, now it was awake. All the promises? They'd been broken, in ways that would make the most hardened person in the world want to puke. In ways that not even the most brainwashed person could ignore or explain away. And it knew for a fact that Dahlia was the enemy."
Another pause, and another deep breath. This time, when she goes on, there's something tired-- exhausted, even old in her voice. She no longer refers to herself as 'it'.
"It took years. Years of pain, desperation, and violence. I did things I'm not proud of, plenty of them. And I died, over and over again. In almost every way you could imagine. Burning. Bludgeoning. Drowning. I've been stabbed to death, and torn apart by dogs. I've felt my body crushed and ground up under train wheels. I always came back, because that was just part of what I am. Even though there were times where I really wished dying would just be the end of it."
It seems like FOREVER since she actually LOOKED at the guy she's talking to, and she finally turns back to Al. The sun is well and truly down at this point, and her features are hard to make out in the gloom. But even so, there's something firelike in her gaze.
"I also killed. In those first days, when all I had to escape from was that damn basement and that irreparably broken body, I used my powers, the way I used to at Dahlia's command. Later, when I'd finally broken loose and was fighting to stay free, I killed like a human would, with weapons or my bare hands. I've tasted a lot of blood in my several lives and plenty of it hasn't been mine. I've gone head to head with horrors that I can't even describe, and the one who emerged from those encounters alive was me."
Her tone has been serious this entire time, but now she scoots a little closer, reaching out to firmly grasp both of Al's shoulders so that she can look him directly in the eye.
"There's a couple things I want you to take away from this conversation, Al. One of them is that, deliberately or not, there is not a single thing on this green earth that Envy could do to me that hasn't already been done. And that if, by some lapse in sanity, he ever decides he wants to try? It's not my safety that you should be worried about."
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Now he knows what that was about, at least.
He doesn't flinch away when Heather grabs his shoulders, though his expression is pretty well dumbfounded. In the silence after Heather finishes, Alphonse blinks and thinks very carefully about his next few words.
"...I...right. I mean, I'm still gonna worry, I don't think I can stop but...I believe you that you can take care of yourself."
Why is every woman that he knows utterly terrifying in some way?
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Heather lets him take his time to find words-- what she just unloaded onto him is one hell of a thing to process.
She can't honestly blame him for thinking she was a normal human. Honestly, in virtually every respect besides her origins, she is a normal human, and she certainly knows how to play the part. It's not like with the Homunculi, where every little detail of being alive took them weeks or even months to get used to-- no, she's a different brand of monster. And honestly, if pressed, she wouldn't even fully know how to classify herself.
There's no taxonomy for things born of the Other side of Silent Hill.
"You can worry-- god knows I do."
About Envy? About the relationship? She doesn't clarify.
"But yeah. I can. ... Henry, too. He's not like I am, at least not in the sense of all the stuff I just told you. But he's fought plenty of monsters."
A slight pause, and then, for the first time since she started getting into the heavy stuff, that crooked grin peeks back onto her face.
"Why do you think he and I are so good at keeping Envy on his best behavior?"
... OF COURSE, Envy's 'best' behavior is still.... QUESTIONABLE, but he hasn't tried to kill Al in awhile!! Eh? EH???
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It is a hell of a thing, but between his own experiences and the exposure to so many worlds being in Johto has brought, it's a bit easier to wrap his head around. Enough that he's not looking askance at Heather like she's suddenly sprouted horns or grown hideous fangs--she's still his dear friend-slash-sister, still the same woman he's flicked cereal at across the kitchen table at five AM. The only thing that's changed is how much he knows about her.
He chuckles softly and brings up one hand to pat her shoulder in return, offering a somewhat tired and amused smirk. Yeah, Envy's improved behavior to his half-sibling definitely wasn't something that would have happened without some form of support.
"That I can definitely believe, after the way he's been acting. We, uh...had a bit of a discussion about the things he's seen back home." Al pauses, frowning for a moment. "...do the candles really keep things away where you're from? I didn't want to ask Henry, they obviously make him feel safer, but it seems...weird?"
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"You know, I don't actually know. That might just be a Henry thing." Because she had never thought to try candles or any other form of... warding, or whatever it was you could call Henry's methods. But, their situations had been distinct, and after all, the Otherworld was different for everyone. "I never tried it. Not really a fan of fire, so... I wouldn't quite make the association between that and 'safety'. But, well, he was defending a specific space, and I wasn't, so maybe... anyway."
They're not here to talk about Henry, as... conversation-worthy as he is.
"Al, did I ever tell you what happened when you first got here? Between me and Envy?"
She's sure she at least mentioned it that first time she actually found out who Al was, but how much detail she'd gone into, she can't recall. It couldn't have been much since the kid was still virtually a stranger at the time, but wellp, NO TIME TO FIX THAT LIKE THE PRESENT.
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It's just a very aggravating one for everyone's nostrils at the moment.
"...sort of? You never mentioned specifics."
At least that he can recall--that conversation was so long ago, and he had been paying attention to rather different parts of that exchange at the time.
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But ANYWAY...
"Well... we were in the same town when you showed up. First thing he did was call me up on the phone. Almost begged me to come down from my hotel room and stop him from getting on Carl and flying all the way back to New Bark, just to attack you. Maybe even try to kill you."
Actually, definitely try to kill him, at that point.
"He was a total mess. Shaking, yelling... Even poor Carl was kind of freaked out-- I remember the second I was able to get Envy to let go of the halter, he took off. Anyway, what followed that was... a long conversation. I was able to calm him down, convinced him to leave you alone-- or. Well. Kind of. For the time being."
They both knew Envy had promptly broken his promise once the opportunity struck, but HE'S GOTTEN BETTER SINCE THEN. No need to dwell on that.
"The thing is, the reason he called me, specifically, to come talk some sense into him was because not too long before that... something similar happened to me."
She shakes her head a little, drawing one leg up to her chest and wrapping an arm around it.
"I won't launch into another freaking odyssey, you've listened to me flap my lips enough today... and maybe you saw that video I posted a few weeks ago anyway. Or not, it was at ass o'clock in the morning. But long story short... someone from my past showed up. Someone who'd taken something very important away from me. Someone who I'd dedicated my very life to killing, once. And I tried to do it. Here, in Johto."
A dry, mirthless chuckle.
"Burned some bridges in the process, lemme tell ya. I think only one person supported it, wanted me to go through with it. That was Envy. ... But I couldn't. I couldn't do it. The reasons why are... irrelevant, to what we're talking about. What's important is when I got back, and I told him I hadn't been able to kill her... I don't think he understood, hell, I don't think I even totally understood why I couldn't-- but it stuck with him. He remembered. So, when you came, and he wound up in the exact same position I'd been in... he called me. Instead of charging off with guns blazing, he reached out, to me. Because he knew I'd stop him from making the same mistake I did."
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But that's something for another time.
He listens again, a faint frown on his face as Heather explains. He remembers the explosive argument with Envy, had even spent the entire night waiting for Envy to come out of the darkness with a weapon in hand. But nothing had happened, and...now he knows who to thank for that.
"...I'm glad he had you around, back then. I'm not gonna lie, I spent the first week expecting him to jump out of the bushes yelling about--I don't know, me being our father or some bullshit."
He sighs and looks back out at the river. There's a lot he feels like he should say, but...he doesn't know how. Regrets and memories and how things have changed so much in the past few years...
"...we have a very weird family here, don't we?"
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She can't exactly blame him for that. Especially since even now, after so much progress, Envy still hasn't completely outgrown his tendency to pick fights with the single Elric he shares this world with.
"Heh. We certainly do."
Reaching down, she picks up a stone and tosses it into the river. It's so dark now that the splash of it landing can't even be seen.
"... We've talked about your dad. Envy and I, I mean. I know he's probably kind of a biased source of information, but even based on what he told me, you couldn't be further from your father."
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"...yeah. I know he wasn't...he didn't make the best decisions. Not back then, and not even with...with us."
With Trisha. With the sons he said he loved in his very last moments.
"But...there had to be reasons for it. I'm sure he thought he was...protecting us, somehow..."
It's hard to miss the faint note of desperate belief in his voice.
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When he speaks, her throat tightens, too.
She can't-- won't-- mention the conditions of the deal she made with Envy. Even if those conditions were pretty much rendered broken by the circumstances since the deal was made... she's not going to tell Alphonse Elric that she only-slightly-blindly promised to help Envy murder their father.
"... People never do anything without a reason... but they don't have to be good reasons."
She pauses, letting out a long sigh and raking her fingers through her hair.
"... I'm not gonna try and tell you that your dad's a monster. It's... honestly not my place to. Or even my business."
Even if, as early as Envy's first confessions, the first information she'd ever gotten about his dark origins, she'd always suspected that the father who abandoned him was probably responsible for harming others, too. A tiger don't change its stripes, and Heather has no sympathy whatsoever for Hohenheim.
"... But there's something else I think you should know. ... When I died, the very first time? ... It was strange and complicated, but... the man who straight-up went through the gates of Hell to try and get me back... what he got back wasn't his daughter. The parts that made her up... those were still there. I was her, but... I also wasn't. And he knew that. He knew, deep down, that what he got back was something else. Something... maybe even monstrous. ... He wasn't wrong. I was different, and dangerous. And I know the temptation was there-- he wrote about it in his letters to me later on. That there were times he almost killed or abandoned me... or god forbid, left me back there in Hell."
Not with Dahlia-- god forbid. That bitch was already dead, by that point. If only Envy had been so lucky. .. But then again, it had been Harry Mason who'd made Dahlia's death possible to begin with. If he'd cut and run...
"... But he didn't. He kept me. Raised me, taught me. Loved me like his very own daughter. Even when he had to sacrifice so much to protect me, even when in the back of his head I'm sure he knew that he could have lived a happy, normal life by leaving me on the doorstep of a hospital and trying to forget I ever existed. ... He's the reason I couldn't kill that woman from my past. He's the reason I'm here, able to talk and laugh and carve out a life for myself. He's the reason I didn't turn into a monster."
She trails off for a moment, again. Picking out the words, because this next part is important.
"... That's why Envy and I work, Al. I know you're worried, but I said earlier that there were a couple of things I wanted you to take out of this conversation-- well, this is the second one. The biggest-- maybe the only-- difference between me and Envy is that I had help. I had a father. ... And Envy... didn't. That's it. That's the difference."
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When Al is really honest with himself, he admits they all did.He's...not entirely sure what to say in response. There are a lot of words floating around in his head, but...they're not his place to say. And Heather, in many ways, is right. If Envy'd had any form of real support back then, he wouldn't have turned out this way. He could have been...someone different, someone that wasn't shaped by hatred and jealousy and poisoned words whispered into his ear. Who that person would have been, if he could have been...maybe an actual brother to him and Edward...it's impossible to say.
He nods...and sighs.
"...yeah."
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Now had been as good a time as any.
In any case, she doesn't blame Al for a shortage of words.
She doesn't say anything for a moment, either. Just reaches out to put an arm around his shoulders, if he lets her.
"... So... still mad at us for sneaking around behind everyone's backs?"
It's a slightly feeble attempt to bring some humor back into the conversation, but she has to at least try.
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"No, you had a right. I proved that one pretty well." He turns, and wraps both arms around Heather in a tight hug. "If you guys make each other happy, I don't have a right to get in the middle of that."
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But she says it with a laugh, and ruffles his hair for emphasis. No, she's not angry anymore. She'd been furious at the time, but to be honest, looking back, it was... pretty hilarious. Even if it had only happened a few hours ago.
The hug is a little more surprising, but she returns it without hesitation.
"Things will be fine. ... Plus, not to mention... as Envy's official partner, my say has even more clout. If I tell him to stop being a butthole, he has to listen."
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