[That's fine, Bertolt thinks. That's fine, because he doesn't know if he can look Reiner in the eye either. It's not that he's upset - he could never be upset with him for very long, and there's no way he can be upset over that. Nobody could've foreseen it, right?
While Reiner cries, Bertolt bites the inside of his cheek to keep himself from starting up again. It pains him to hear Reiner so vulnerable, and when Reiner pulls back, Bertolt pays the condition of his sweater no mind. He's had worse happen to it (especially with Marcel and the 'litter' of Growlithe he had) and he can easily buy a new one in town.
Bertolt swallows the lump in his throat before he speaks, and while he doesn't force Reiner to look at him, Bertolt ducks his head down to press their foreheads together. He may not be able to say everything he wants, but he could say some of it.]
You don't have to apologize. I-I always...
[Taking a deep breath, Bertolt exhales in shuddering breaths as he wills himself to stay level.]
I've always gone along with what other people wanted me to do, even if I didn't want to. I'm-I'm doing it here, too, but I don't... [Bertolt doesn't know how to assert himself here. He tries, but it's never good enough in his eyes.] If I did what I was supposed to do, I would've killed you.
1/2
While Reiner cries, Bertolt bites the inside of his cheek to keep himself from starting up again. It pains him to hear Reiner so vulnerable, and when Reiner pulls back, Bertolt pays the condition of his sweater no mind. He's had worse happen to it (especially with Marcel and the 'litter' of Growlithe he had) and he can easily buy a new one in town.
Bertolt swallows the lump in his throat before he speaks, and while he doesn't force Reiner to look at him, Bertolt ducks his head down to press their foreheads together. He may not be able to say everything he wants, but he could say some of it.]
You don't have to apologize. I-I always...
[Taking a deep breath, Bertolt exhales in shuddering breaths as he wills himself to stay level.]
I've always gone along with what other people wanted me to do, even if I didn't want to. I'm-I'm doing it here, too, but I don't... [Bertolt doesn't know how to assert himself here. He tries, but it's never good enough in his eyes.] If I did what I was supposed to do, I would've killed you.