001 | video

[adandyinspace]

[Out of all the horrible things that have happened so far this week, the worst is yet to come. It's some guy and he looks into the feed like everyone just played some sort of huge prank on him. It certainly feels that way, being told he's gotta trek three days in the snow certainly sounds like a joke.

Thankfully it looks like he's hastily slapped on some kind of winter outfit, his giant hair sticking out from under the hat that barely wants to stay on. From what can be seen of his jacket, it appears to stick out unnaturally and even wiggle about, probably the pokémon he was given. Anything to stay warm.]

Hey, sooo, I know you're all havin' a really fun time right now, but I'm freezing my ass off and my communicator ain't working. So I'm using this one. Anyway, quick question, what kinda planet invents the video phone and not something like, I dunno...a bus?

[Dandy feels like this is an incredibly valid question.]

If you find one good lookin' corpse, don't touch my wallet, I swear to-- [But before he can continue, the wiggling intensifies and Dandy's face suddenly breaks out in all smiles, an extreme contrast to the face he was just making. He laughs like an idiot and falls to his knees, the video shaking and losing focus in the process.] NO! S-STOP!! That...that tickles...!!

[And it cuts...]

Comments

[adandyinspace]

At least until you get into your own body. I'd start chowin' down if I were you.

[Man, he could really go for lasagna, too. If only he wasn't out here dying.]

[neverstudied]

... Ok, good point, but Egon's here- well, not here right now, he's dealing with community service after getting arrested-, and he knows I'm not Ray. And he's the one who named my fucking fire cat after Garfield just to mess with me. [At this point Venkman's just swearing as much as possible because: -Egon's impressionable babies capable of replicating the word "fuck" aren't in the room, so Venkman isn't at risk of getting murdered by his partner -The novelty of hearing Ray's voice yell "FUCK" has not worn off yet]

[adandyinspace]

[As much as he loves swearing Ray, that's a whole lot to unpack at once.]

Yeah, I couldn't follow half of that. Let's back it up, uh, why was Egon arrested?

[neverstudied]

You're not allowed to build weapons in this place or cause extreme property damage. He was trying to build... something that blew up in his face. Using a bunch of technology he accidentally stole. Because he's an idiot. [A genius, definitely, but also an IDIOT.]

[adandyinspace]

[Good to know in advance!]

Aaaaand you can't eat while he's pickin' up trash? Seems like an easy win to me.

[neverstudied]

I could, but what if he gets back while I'm eating? Me sitting at the table with a forkful of lasagna almost to my mouth. Him staring at me. Knowing. Judging. Can't handle that pressure right now, man. I'm frazzled enough as it is trying to deal with all of Ray's Pokemon that think I'm their dad.

[adandyinspace]

I guess, but what if he doesn't? Then when this all blows over and you're lookin' at a big nasty plate of lasagna, you're gonna look back at this and go that could've been it, that could've been my moment. Life's too short to think about the What Ifs, you gotta take chances, stick your hands inside the lasagna of possibilities and shove it in your mouth as fast as you can, baby.

[He's so, so hungry...]

...I'm sorry, did you say they think you're their dad?

[neverstudied]

... I guess you're right, but first I gotta find a place that has good lasagna, and I don't know this town at all. I literally just woke up here after body-swapping with Ray. Yeah, Ray babies all his little monsters and treats them like his kids. It's so cute it's sickening. And it means that now they all want me to act like their dad. Still not sure if it's better or worse than dealing with Slimer- on the one hand, there's more of 'em, but none of them are anywhere near as bad as the spud.

[adandyinspace]

[Man, if he wasn't worried about making out of here alive, being the puppy daddy would make all this shit worth it...

Not that anyone needs to know this.]

Aw, and you still found the energy to help lil ol' me? I'm touched. Well, have fun chewing up your lasagna and feeding it to your little babies.