003 / video

[neverstudied]

Soooooo.

[The feed starts a little abruptly, focused on an Elgyem cradled in the crook of someone's arm. The Elgyem in question makes hopeful grabby-hands towards the Pokegear, her handlights blinking.]

Got this little girl recently- from a guy called Ford Pines. She's kind of like, the closest I've come to actually trying to take care of a human baby. You know, Ray likes to call all the Pokemon we get our "children", but this one's the first that's really.. humanoid, I guess? Dunno.

But that's not- that's not what I wanna talk about.

[The Pokegear's camera zooms out a little bit to show a bit more of the whole picture- the Elgyem is cradled to Venkman's chest, and he's currently sprawled out on a couch looking exhausted.]

No, what I wanna talk about is- so, Spengs has a little psychic baby of his own, Kölliker- a Solosis. She's been learning how to speak mentally, right now she's pretty firmly in the "swear all the time" stage of development and I can already see the "terrible twos" comin' up even though she's only, what, 2 months old? And that's a liiiittle terrifying, because, uh, she can kind of read minds? And just peek into our brains and emotions, and that's the kind of power you don't want a toddler to have.

[He shifts his arm a little and looks down at the Elgyem, who's stopped grabbing for the Pokegear and instead has her little nub hands clasped together. She stares up at Venkman unblinkingly.]

And this girl- Sigourney- she's only a little over a week old, but on the day she was born she figured out how to go through our memories, and just like Kölliker she can like- read our thoughts, and emotions, and kind of manipulate them? She was able to send memories from my brain and transplant them in Egon's head, like a mental text message. It's- it's weird.

[As Venkman speaks, he idly rocks Sigourney in his arm.]

And the other day- uh, so, background, I did do a little research on this species and it's evolution after she started doing the whole "reading my thoughts" thing, and the evolution- Beheeyem- is able to just. Completely rewrite people's memories. Sometimes without them even realizing it. And I thought, ok, that's completely fucking terrifying, sure, but she won't be able to do that for a while, right?

[Venkman sucks air through his teeth and shakes his head. Sigourney, meanwhile, snuggles closer to his chest. It looks like she's falling asleep, though her eyes never close.]

Nah. Nope. Nada.

... She hasn't tampered with anything important, and I don't think she really knows what she's doing. But I was writing notes the other day about her dredging up certain old memories, and now when I try to think of what they were, there's just... Holes? [His brow furrows.] Also, I don't remember anything about fifth grade anymore. Like, I literally... don't remember being ten years old, except for summer break. I dunno what it was about fifth grade that she decided to just chuck out the window, but that's just gone now. And today she was poking around a lot at some memories I really don't wanna lose...

So here's what I'm asking.

[Sigourney is definitely asleep by now. He lowers his voice to just barely above a whisper.]

First of all, is this, like, an isolated thing? Is this sorta stuff normal for Psychic Pokemon when they're babies- just being, incredibly powerful and not really sure of how to use that power-, or are Egon, Ray, and I just really, really unlucky? Because I'll be honest, wouldn't be surprised if it's the second one. Could be some sorta, I dunno, residual effect from our dimension.

And second of all- anyone know how to train psychic toddlers to not be mentally destructive and do shit like this? Both for Sig, and for Ko when she hits that tantrum stage. I'm open to suggestions, here. Any suggestions at all. Seriously.

Comments

[neverstudied]

That's the gist of what we're trying to do. I think Kölliker's picked up on the general idea of consent, but then Sig goes prodding into someone's head and Ko assumes it's ok for her to do the same.

idk what it is about that icon that cracks me up

[unabates]

Yeah, Egon seemed to be having a bit of an issue enforcing rules for Kölliker when I ran into him at Celadon.

[ there's a shrug of his shoulders. crybaby looks up, her tongue sticking out. someone mentioned her sushi friend?? ]

I'm guessing you already tried teaching both of them at the same time?

its one of my favorite icons for a reason

[neverstudied]

That's Egon for ya. He's worse with kids than I am. Still loves Ko to death, though, don't let his Egon-ness fool ya into thinking otherwise.

A bit. Usually once they've started poking into memories, they stop listening to what we have to say. With two of 'em out at once, its doubling our chances that one of 'em will start messing with our brains and that the other will follow.

[unabates]

People all have different ways of showing it.

[ egon's egon-ness is just something he's used to at this point in people smarter than him. at least he doesn't tap his fingers together and generally look untrustworthy, thanks moira. ]

So you've got a monkey see, monkey do situation with both of them out. [ he shakes his head a little. ]

I never had kids, let alone psychic ones, so take this with a few dozen grains of salt. But if Kölliker's picking it up, maybe double down with her? Sigourney could learn from her example.

[neverstudied]

We can try that, yeah... Unless Ko throws a tantrum about us being mean for focusing on her. Or Sig's too distracted to notice. Or... [He groans.] I never wanted kids, and now I've got kid-pet hybrids that can fuck up my brain. How's that for luck?

[unabates]

You could play the older sibling angle with her. It worked on my buddy's set of kids - setting a good example for the younger one by behaving.

[ in jack's opinion, the kids turned out okay. although he only ever saw them into their early twenties. being considered dead kind of puts a damper on that.

he can't help smiling a little at peter's pain of psychic kids. ]

It's too bad a coworker of mine isn't here. He has 12 or so kids, he'd probably be some help in this department.

[neverstudied]

[He looks thoughtful.]

She has been calling Sig and Tarantula her "sisters". So we're already halfway there- just have to convince her that because she's the oldest, she's gotta be good.

Twelve-

[Venkman gapes for a moment.]

Are they all human kids?

[unabates]

Just got to convince her it's a fun responsibility that will result in more liberty. And I mean, if you can trust her not to rifle through people's heads, I imagine it will.

[ are they all human. ]

Good question, he does consider his turrets his babies too. But no, they're all human. The oldest have their own kids now, too. I think it's because he's Swedish.

[neverstudied]

Good point. When Spengs gets home, we can try that.

[20 minutes later "WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE EVOLVED AND NOW SHE HAS TWO BRAINS"]

... What does being Swedish have to do with having a whole lotta kids?

[unabates]

Good luck.

[ he will absolutely need it with the two-brained baby. ]

I thought Sweden big on family units and adoptive families, things like that. The guy's best friend is godfather to all his kids.

[neverstudied]

Man, I don't know anything about Sweden.

... Egon studied abroad there, though, studying some Norse mythology junk and an old book. He came up with and built his PKE Meter while he was gone.

[unabates]

Oh, huh. Maybe Sweden's just weird in general and not about families, then.

Then again, you all were interested in ghosts before he built it, right?

[neverstudied]

Oh, yeah. Ray and Egon more than me, but I got roped along because I was their friend. We all started double-majoring in Parapsychology, I borrowed notes from them a lot, they started building a bunch of contraptions meant to see, study, and capture ghosts...

Bear in mind- they were doing this way before we actually had any sort of tangible proof that ghosts were real.

[unabates]

Everyone's got a hobby that accidentally turns itself into a full-blown job they do with their partners, right?