"Horrible doesn't really begin to describe it. On the day to day, I was just struggling to keep it together. But I had no idea what 'it' was. I was of a thousand minds about it, literally. My infinite self, all of 'me' that I was, at the time, so desperate to keep separate from 'myself.' It was a nonstop effort to convince myself and everyone else that I wasn't literally insane, and in some cases I don't think I did a very good job."

His brow furrows, briefly, as he chooses his next words.

"That doesn't matter, though. Understanding reality--not merely the substance of it, but that which gives reality itself substance--understanding that was just the first step of the whole process. Like my ultimate, infinite, inevitable self, there was never any hope of escaping it to begin with. But I have answers now, and I can fix it. I can give us... more. And it will be better. But I can't do it from here."