[She and John... what. They what. Intimate? What?]
[The rest is more or less easy to figure out from context, but there's, uh, still a mental stutter to working out what to even say after that little speedbump.]
H4V3 YOU NOT H34RD TH3 PHR4S3 L3T SL33P1NG B4RKB34STS L13? 1 4M PR3TTY SUR3 TH3R3 1S 4 HUM4N V4R14NT OF TH4T ON3 4ND 1F NOT YOU H4V3 NO 3XCUS3 4FT3R KNOW1NG FUTUR3 4LPH4 T3R3Z1 1F 4NYTH1NG 1S GO1NG TO B3 4WKW4RD NOW 1T 1S B3C4US3 YOU 1NTRODUC3D TH3 TOP1C! >:I SO WH1L3 YOU'R3 BUSY SH4R1NG TH3 FUTUR3 P4ST P3RSON4L BUS1N3SS OF P3OPL3 WHO 4R3 NOT YOU DO YOU R34LLY H4V3 4 GOOD R34SON FOR TRY1NG SO TR4NSP4R3NTLY TO R3CRU1T M3 TO YOUR T34M? 1 4M ST1LL TH3 D34D ON3 TH3 ON3 WHOS3 T1M3L1N3 W4S R3TCONN3D OUT OF 3X1ST3NC3 1F 1 COM3 B4CK TO P4R4DOX SP4C3 W1TH YOU 1T W1LL JUST M4K3 TH1NGS W31RD 4ND PROB4BLY 3ND W1TH M3 DY1NG 4 S3COND T1M3
no subject
[The rest is more or less easy to figure out from context, but there's, uh, still a mental stutter to working out what to even say after that little speedbump.]
H4V3 YOU NOT H34RD TH3 PHR4S3
L3T SL33P1NG B4RKB34STS L13?
1 4M PR3TTY SUR3 TH3R3 1S 4 HUM4N V4R14NT OF TH4T ON3 4ND 1F NOT YOU H4V3 NO 3XCUS3 4FT3R KNOW1NG FUTUR3 4LPH4 T3R3Z1
1F 4NYTH1NG 1S GO1NG TO B3 4WKW4RD NOW 1T 1S B3C4US3 YOU 1NTRODUC3D TH3 TOP1C! >:I
SO WH1L3 YOU'R3 BUSY SH4R1NG TH3 FUTUR3 P4ST P3RSON4L BUS1N3SS OF P3OPL3 WHO 4R3 NOT YOU
DO YOU R34LLY H4V3 4 GOOD R34SON FOR TRY1NG SO TR4NSP4R3NTLY TO R3CRU1T M3 TO YOUR T34M?
1 4M ST1LL TH3 D34D ON3
TH3 ON3 WHOS3 T1M3L1N3 W4S R3TCONN3D OUT OF 3X1ST3NC3
1F 1 COM3 B4CK TO P4R4DOX SP4C3 W1TH YOU 1T W1LL JUST M4K3 TH1NGS W31RD 4ND PROB4BLY 3ND W1TH M3 DY1NG 4 S3COND T1M3