[video] /aggressively insists the off-brand is the real deal

[demonpuppy]

[The video starts with an awkward close up of a young child, face scrunched up as they navigate the Gear's interface. Once they realize it's started recording, they pull it back to a proper framing, though.]

--didn't know they put this in--um, hi! I'm Chip, I just got my first Palien a week ago! His name's Lazzo and he's a...um...

[They reach for their Pokedex and fiddle with it some until the tinny voice comes on with 'Salandit, the toxic lizard Pokemon'.]

Right, a Salandit! Um, does anyone know why they're using weird names for stuff? And Patty's just got one type, it's really weird...

But! Right I was gonna ask, where can I find a Espcheep? I really really wanna get one for real! I tried looking in the 'Pedia, but there's nothing in there and they've gotta be around!

Okay bye!

Comments

[video]

[goldeneyeball]

Espcheep...Espcheep...do you mean Espurr?

_{[It's a combination of esp and a noise. Maybe the kid's just mixed up. Like hell if he can keep up with all these monsters.]}

[demonpuppy]

No, Espcheep! It's a little round green mouse and ForestElectro and like the most famous one???

[I MEAN DUH????]

[goldeneyeball]

_{[JW doesn't care for Chip's tone so the frown of confusion turns into a frown of dislike.]}

I think if it was that popular, I'd know what it was.

[video]

[cyclonely]

[Oh man, Grant's kid is the actual right age to go on a Pokemon quest. That's so cool. Doing this video game as a kid is vastly superior to doing all other games.]

It's because this is alternate universe Paliens! Uh. Probably. Is it basically the same except for names and some rules? I... [what the fuck does he even call it] ...met some aliens called trolls once and they have their own version of Paliens called Fiduspawn. Only it's kind of already live action like this version. And-- [Wait, shit, he definitely knew about violence and gore stuff when he was a kid but he doesn't want Grant to get mad at him.] --I think they ate each other or something? I played it once and really wasn't clear on the rules or what was supposed to be happening.

Wait, does Paliens take place on a console or does it take place in the real world like it does here...

[demonpuppy]

...

...

...that's stupid.

[Wait, what part are they saying that about--]

It's got a cartoon, too! But why wouldn't it be Paliens, it's all the same!!

[cyclonely]

Yeah, Fiduspawn seemed pretty dumb if I am being honest. [A choice on which part it was has been MADE.]

Well, that is how alternate universes are supposed to be like, I think! Things are mostly the same only slightly different! Like how you can't find Espcheep, and things are called different things. Some of my friends come from an alternate universe, actually, and stuff happened like Betty Crocker taking over the world and other weird things like that.

[Does Betty Crocker exist in Chip's universe? John hopes not.]

Anyway, what is Espcheep like? If it is one of the original 150, I bet I can identify it!

video;

[machismost]

Yo!

I'm Kirishima, nice to meet ya, Chip! I tried lookin' up Palien and the other thing you asked about and I didn't find it either. Maybe I just wasn't spelling it right?

Also, is Lazzo there with you? I've never seen a Salandit before.

[demonpuppy]

[:ooo a teen]

Paliens is all of them, not one guy! And it's spelled just like it sounds, E-S-P-cheep!

[Chip grins then and reaches behind them, letting the view swing around and revealing a Rattata messing with someone else's Gear in the background for a brief moment, before they come back properly with a wiggling Lazzo held in one hand.]

Ta-da! He's the best!

[machismost]

[ A child! On the internet! Also new? That in mind, Kirishima's just guessing Chip has mashed 'Pokemon' and 'aliens' together - kind of clever!

Red eyes widen as the squirming Salandit is presented. ]

Woah, it looks like he's wearing a mask! That's awesome!

Hey, it looks like someone else is over there with you. Is that Rattata supposed to be getting into that?

[ Kirishima knows Rattata well after being constantly assaulted by them, but also because some other kid he made the mistake of giving his number to calls him on the regular about theirs. Sometimes right in the middle of the night. ]

video;

[schachmeister]

[Oh no, a child.

Armin doesn't focus too much on the word 'palien'. Maybe he just misheard the kid saying pall? Maybe it is one of those newfangled slang terms like yeet and totes? Maybe it is just a kid being a kid.]

Espcheep? I don't think I've ever heard of a pokemon like that. Could you describe it maybe?

[demonpuppy]

It's green and a little mouse and it's got four arms! It's a really strong Electro!!

[It's...not...Chip, the anime is not an accurate representation--]

[schachmeister]

Are you... sure about that description? Where did you see it? Or did someone describe it to you?

[A little electro mouse, okay, Armin could've worked with that. God knows there are a lot of electric mouse-like pokemon for some reason. But green? And with four arms?]

video;

[shiro2hero]

I'm... sorry, I'm really not familiar with that one. But there's still a lot of pokemon I haven't seen before.

What kind is it?

[demonpuppy]

[Uuuuuugh, doesn't anyone know anything?? Chip makes a face and rolls their eyes before replying.]

It's a ForestElectro!

[shiro2hero]

[He grimaces. But does his best to keep his voice calm as possible. Must be something where this poor kid comes from...]

I'm sorry. I'm not sure that kind of thing exists here. We've got Grass types, and electric types.

They're called different things where you're from?

video;

[sassymaru]

Ah, lovely to meet you. I am Shadowmaru.

As to the type predicament, please, rest assured, not all pokemon possess a single type. For example, my darling Akuma happens to be both flight and ghost.

[demonpuppy]

But they're all supposed to have two types! It can't just be only natural or only esper!

voice;

[jurisimprudence]

Hello, Chip! I couldn't help but notice that there is a strange man telling you lies about trolls. I would advise you not to trust him, or at least to ask for a second opinion first.

[Terezi's not on video since, unfortunately, she doesn't look all that alien anymore. But browsing through the entry did bring John to her attention, and why not troll him through the proxy of a small child.]

[Plus, like, Pokémon aliens? That's kind of interesting.]

You can call me Terezi! Would you tell me about Paliens?

[demonpuppy]

[THE PEER OF KID DOUBT. YOU RECIEVE IT.]

Only if you promise you're not any kinda fae-alien thing.

video

[epitaffio]

... Uh... Are you maybe... thinking of a different game?

[He doesn't really do videogames, but there's bound to be a bunch that work the same way this place does, right?]

[demonpuppy]

No, it's definitely Paliens! We catch monsters and they've got attacks and types and they wanna be our friends!! I know it!!!!

[Chip is possibly getting a little frustrated by things not lining up for them...]

[Video]

[tearsofademon]

Espcheep, huh...? Don't tell me there's another new set of species already...

[as he tiredly rubs his forehead with a sigh]

[demonpuppy]

No, Espcheep is one of the first ones! It's always there!!

[cometkin]

Hey, kiddo. What's an Escheep supposed to look like? Maybe they've got a different name here, like how in some people call rolly-polies pillbugs or even doodlebugs.

[demonpuppy]

I never heard 'em called a doodlebug before. ...oh, um--!

[There's a quick bit of scrambling before holding up a slightly rumpled shirt.]

It looks like this!