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[gautsome]

[There's no vibrant smile when Sylvain opens the line. There isn't even a Sylvain for that matter. It's just text on a screen, a message carefully tapped out.]

Hey.
I'm looking to talk to someone who has left this place and come back again. Either actually leaving, or just that weird sleeping thing.
I... Have some questions. I could really use some help.

Comments

[tearsofademon]

Well, you could say that about a lot of things. Why bother making friends anywhere if you're just going to die someday anyway? Or if they're going to die. Or if they're going to leave for other reasons.

For myself, it took a bit to get there, but honestly, I kind of try to live for the sake of my Pokemon these days. Even if I disappear and don't remember anything, they'll still be here, since they're native to this world. And they'll still remember me. So that's at least something, right?

[fingersandteeth]

Not a thing. I understand that's the usual experience, unfortunately.

[gautsome]

Connected hearts, huh?

[Some part of Sylvain wants to laugh about that. It sounds like something out of a storybook, rather than a concept that could ever be true. Yet even as that small fragment of him balks, the rest of him is oddly reassured. He remembered the moment he'd woken up back home, and the sadness that gripped him when he looked at Felix.

He hadn't been able to explain it at the time. Now that he's awake again here... he has to wonder if Cecil is onto something.]

Maybe you're onto something there. If nothing else, it's... nice to believe in, right?

[gautsome]

[Ryner makes a good point on the whole, but it's the part about his Pokemon that sticks out to Sylvain. Even now, he has his little Steenee pressed up against him, out cold from a long day of being adorable. The idea of leaving her pains him almost more than anything else he's been grappling with.

But he hadn't considered how she might feel if he made her miserable along the way. He hadn't missed the way her leaves had drooped just a little more than usual, or the sad glances she'd cast his way when she realized he wasn't smiling like normal.

He can't imagine what she's going through.]

The Pokemon have even less control over this than we do.
It... really wouldn't be fair to treat them poorly, just because I was so caught up in myself.

[gautsome]

Does it bother you? Being back here and knowing that none of what you do will matter once you go home?
I just... can't shake the feeling of it all being pointless.

[paladinlost]

It is, truly. It's hardly a far-fetched theory, either. After all, we've had plenty of people leave in body, then return with their memories of their previous stay intact. Even if they did not remember while they were home, those memories were still triggered and recovered somehow.

[The trick is figuring out the 'how', and possibly the 'why'.]

[fingersandteeth]

Mm. Sort of? It makes me sad to think I'll forget the people I've come to care about here. But I think if something is supposed to happen to you, it'll find its own way of happening regardless, here *or* there.

But it's not entirely true that nothing we do here matters. It may not matter to our worlds or to ourselves in the long run, but it matters to the people of this world and the lives of theirs we touch while we're here.

[gautsome]

We have a lot of magic users in our group. Annette and Lysithea are the best I know of. And Claude is brilliant.

And that's just our group. I do not doubt that there are even more powerful people here in their own rights.

... Maybe there's a chance.

[gautsome]

I don't see how that's possible. What if you and I had hooked up way back when? There isn't any way that could have happened back home, right? Because you and I are from separate places.

... You have a point there, though. After all, a bunch of us probably helped a lot of people in the Rocket raid awhile back. Those people might be worse off if people like you and I weren't there, right?

[paladinlost]

My own magical ability is limited, but perhaps my experiences with multiple worlds can compensate for that. I know there are many people here who would prefer having the possibility to choose, even if they personally wish to stay.

This would be much easier with direct access to the local 'divinities', of course, but Arceus is sadly not as easy to contact as Cosmos or Materia. We'd have to manage without.

[fingersandteeth]

That's a pretty big what-if, Sylvain, considering you were making fun of my good friend Armin elsewhere in your initial post when you messaged me. Not to mention I'm, what, twenty years older than you?

But I do see your point there. I suppose I didn't mean that the exact same things would happen. Just-- similar things. I'll give you an example: here I learned how to fight initially from Dirk Strider. Then I went home, forgetting everything I'd learned here--but I learned how to fight all over again from other people in my world. Because learning how to fight was something that I was supposed to do, one way or another.

But yes, that's exactly what I mean about how what we do here *does* matter, just not for *us*. If Santa hadn't brought all of you to Goldenrod, Team Rocket would have wrecked so much more havoc that night.

[cyan_maid]

You know, if I had not gotten a letter from Dimitri rather recently, I would wonder what you would need a wedding cake for.
;B
I would be honored to help you make an entire wedding cake, though I can't promise it will come out as good as the professional ones since...I have never actually made one before! But don't worry about lessons or payment or any of that! It will be something we can do to help take one day at a time, just like you said.

[tearsofademon]

Yeah. The way I see it, your Pokemon have entrusted their lives to you. Whether you caught them, or they caught themselves, or you hatched them from an egg, or however else you might stumble on them.

It might not be much in the grand scheme of things, but their happiness means something, I think. It's more meaning than nothing, at least.

[islandshore]

Haven't been through it myself, but I've known plenty of people who've come and gone.

Known plenty of people who left for real and then came back, too. Don't know if an outsider's perspective's what you need, but the offer's on the table.

[gautsome]

I could live without being here, you know.
I just don't want to forget about it.
I've learned a lot even in a few months -- we all have. I don't want to forget it.
And I don't want other people to forget what I've told them.

I get the strangest feeling that Arceus wouldn't care, even if we tried.

[gautsome]

Yeah, yeah. It was just an example anyway.
Not that age matters much.
Can't defend what I did to Armin, though. Though maybe it'll make you happy to know that I'm trying to repair that bridge?
Not that I'm trying to get in your good graces. I'm happy with what I have now, thank you.

I guess that makes me feel better in some regards. But... even if I were to repeat some of the things I did here, there are other things that.. can't be. The people I met and care for won't be there? And sure, I won't remember, but that makes me feel like I shouldn't bother meeting anyone new here anyways.

But like you said. What we do here still matters. The friends we make, whether locally or from other worlds, has an impact in the end.

[gautsome]

Aw man, I'm gonna have to scold Dimitri for spoiling the surprise, huh?
Not really. I think he's just happy for us. I feel like half of Fodlan knew Fe and I were in love with each other years before we figured it out.

But. That's... Really great of you, Jane. It'll be great. I'm... actually kind of excited now? That's probably so silly but. Guess that's me, silly guy supreme.
We haven't set a date yet, but I know I want it to be soon. We just... want to be sure we're doing it solely out of joy, and not because we're being affected by anything else that's happened.

Ugh, you probably didn't come here for me to talk about my relationships though.
So thanks for putting up with that. And for giving me the words of advice. Like I said. You're really great.

[gautsome]

Yeah well, I'm sure one of my partners would say something about how even the smallest sparks can cause a fire. Something wise like that.

It's good advice. I'll keep it in mind. It... definitely gives me something to focus on, at least right now. I'm sure the rest of it will come in time.

[fingersandteeth]

I mean, it does matter somewhat to me? If only because too young and I feel like a chickenhawk. But I also know from experience that these larger age gaps seem smaller when you're the younger party.

Still, I'm glad you're making things up with Armin. I think you were distressing him more than you realized.

I don't think you should be discouraged from meeting and befriending new people just because you won't remember them. There's something to be said about living in the moment. Having those new experiences while you still can.

And even if we weren't in a situation where the people of this world are affected by our actions... "If nothing we do matters... then the only thing that matters is what we do." We should spend the time we've been given in this kinder, gentler world doing the things we can feel good about doing.

[He says, still working out how he actually feels about this whole life of crime he's stuck in, but ssshhh. Just let him quote Angel at you.]

[paladinlost]

From what I can tell, Arceus likes us, actually. Which hardly means communication is easy, mind you. Still, it may be sympathetic to your plight.

To ensure we can remember this land, the first step would be to find out why and how our memories are erased in the first place. Is it a side effect of traveling between worlds, is it a deliberate choice by the magic that has brought us here?

[gautsome]

Uh, hey.
I appreciate the offer but I'm mostly looking to talk to people about how they've felt... uh. After.
Kind of hard from a third party experience?

[tearsofademon]

Just don't worry too much if it doesn't all work out for you right away. Believe me, it's taken me years to get even this far, myself. It might take a while.

[granted, the concept that his life has any meaning at all whatsoever has always been foreign to Ryner]

[cyan_maid]

It's fine, he's a bit more open to talking when you do so in letters. Probably because it's a format he's more used to?

Aw, shucks, it'll be great, you'll see! But you'll have to be up on your feet after dealing with your own shots before we start. Can't have you being groggy and tired and falling asleep in the cake batter, after all! Not that I think it'd happen on purpose.

Not a problem. It's something you wanted to talk about, so it came out. That's usually how these sorts of "jam sessions" work, from what I am aware of.

[islandshore]

Nah, I get it.

Second-hand experiences don't hit the same. But what brought this up, anyway? You just wanting to brace yourself in case it happens?

[gautsome]

More that it did happen. And now I'm... trying to come to terms with it all.