victory_road | [Video]

_{[The feed opens on a man's face very close to the screen. His eyes flick between the lens and the little in-picture image of himself in his Poke'gear's screen. This man is filthy and his eyes are rimmed with red. He licks his dry lips. He was about to address the entire world after untold years of sheer isolation, this had to be good.]}

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhey.

_{[His voice is gruff and thin. The B-man hasn't quite gotten used how much air he needs in his lungs in order to speak. He opens his mouth to say something else but his attention is swiftly stolen by someone passing in his peripheral vision. He whips his head away takes a good long look at something before turning back to his audience.]}

HEY, HI, HOW'S IT GOIN'? This isn't how I saw my day goin', but I'm not complaining! Who doesn't love a little dimensional slip-up? Especially when it comes with perks. And a guide? What is this, my birthday? Might as well be! I've never been--

_{[He lifts the Trainer's Manual into frame when suddenly his attention starts to drift again, as though he's thinking many thoughts all at once. His chest sort of hurts. Oh. Huh. That's a sexy new sensation!]}

You know what I always say--

_{[Without warning, the man swoons and drops his 'gear. It goes tumbling, landing face-down on the path. The concerned chattering of a Pokemon can be heard from his end of the line. There is some scrambling and the creaking of plastic before the newcomer reappears. He's laying on the ground now, on his side, one leggy kicked up like he meant to do that. Mr. Juice has been saddled with the Bug Maniac's class attire and honestly he's ROCKING those shorts. He's also very winded. A Mimikyu peeks over his middle, one shadowy paw brought to its false mouth in concern.]}

--I always say, when in Rome, do as the Romans! I used to know some Romans, real swell guys. Total party animals! So, my fellow philosophers, what's a guy do to have fun around here?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh, buddy. You got a big storm comin'.

_{[HE'S SO PALE TOO. He'll be a tomato by the time he makes it to Cherrygrove.]}

It can't be that bad! Breathers wouldn't stick it out so long and be so squeamish about dying if it was!

I mean, maybe it's not bad compared to being in Hell.

But it's not good.

We'll see. Thanks for the heads up anyway, hottie.

_{[HOTTIE? So much for 'Sugar'.]}

You're welcome, drunk hobo guy from hell.

_{[The sarcasm dripping from her voice is obvious, but if he somehow managed to miss it, the tight, grimacey fake smile says it just as well.]}

Hey now! I am not intoxicated in the very least. And not for lack of trying!

In that case, you pull the look off very convincingly.

_{[If not drunk, he really does look like he meth'd himself into an early grave. Assuming he was telling the truth about where he was from.]}

Thank-ya. Athankya verry much.