[text]

[harlequinhater]

hey guys! john here.
man i guess it's been a while since i last checked in on the pokegear all publicly like this.
i guess i have just been really busy being an awesome trainer and winning gym badges.
anyways does anyone know if there's a store that specializes in pokemon-proof clothes? 
like, fireproof stuff to help with angry fire types.
or something that can save me from being impaled by toxic nidorino spikes. that specifically.
if there is no such business, does anybody who knows how to make clothes want to go into business with me?
i bet we could make a lot of money that way.
i would get 50% profits for the idea obviously.

[A few minutes later, there's an addition:]

oh and if anybody has tips for the cianwood gym let me know!
im training up my awesome team of super cool pokemon to fight it next.
i want to know what im going to be up against.

[About thirty minutes after that, there's one last thing:]

also, has anybody else been getting pies sent to them?
is that a thing in the pokemon world?
because i definitely did not order these.

Comments

- > action

[harlequinhater]

[John has been walking towards the Pokécenter with his pies stacked on top of each other as he's been text-arguing with Dave, which means he gets to test Dave's threat out immediately. A grin crosses his face and he pockets his Pokégear, ready to strike.

He spots his friend from a distance and then rounds around the Center, tip-toeing carefully up from behind. Once he's within earshot, he just says one word:]

Snow.

[callbacks]

...

[Dave turns

very




slowly





and then pushes the pies right up into John's face, FUCK YOU!!!]

[harlequinhater]

WAUGH!

[John isn't sure what he was expecting to happen, but blueberry pie shoved in his face most definitely was not it. Honestly, uncalled for!

John tosses the blueberry pie aside and uses the pumpkin pie - a bit squished, but still mostly in tact - to pie Dave in the face. It's only fair!]

[callbacks]

Shit--!

[PIE'D. Dave only has time to stumble back and sweep his shades up and out of harm's way, because #priorities. He wipes at his face and sets his stance, but then glances down at the last one.]

...Is that the pecan one.

[harlequinhater]

[John looks down at it too, even if it's a little hard to make out through all of the blueberry goop on his glasses.]

Yeah. I think so.

[He considers throwing it at Dave, before Dave can do the same to him... but he decides against it. Instead, he turns it over and lets it drop on the ground, bottom-up. There. Now they're even in their level of pie coverage.]

[callbacks]

[Dave nods solemnly. That's all a pecan pie's really worth, TBH. He'll pour one out in spirit. In the meantime, he brushes more crust off his face and then licks some filling curiously off the back of his hand.]

...Is that what pumpkin pie actually tastes like? Man, talk about disappointment.

[harlequinhater]

I guess so. I've never tried it.

[And he doesn't exactly plan to, especially now that it's all over Dave's face.]

Maybe it's better with whipped cream?