Sylvain's stunned into silence not for the first time today. And though his mind is paralyzed, his hands still reach for Felix's. Calloused fingers are gentle on his wrists, trying to guide the ring back into his view. He stares at it, and feels foolish for being menaced by a band of metal, but he can't help it. Marriage is a dirty word. More of a prison sentence than a joyous occasion. It's always been a threat in some way. Something weaponized against the idea of his happiness.
"I don't need a ring to prove how much I care about you," he says, smoothing his thumb over the band. The reactionary part of him bares its teeth, but it feels empty. It's just that, a base reaction. He doesn't feel the usual, cynical disgust at the idea when he thinks of marriage with Felix; it's subdued, cautious. Which is the biggest difference: with Felix.
"I um- I don't know if I'm ready for that just yet," he tries to explain. "It's not that I don't love you. And Goddess knows, if I had to marry, I'd never want anyone else. But... I- I..." He's faltering now, and it makes his cheeks heat. Any poise or confidence just dissolves through his fingers when he tries to muster it up.
"I don't even know what I'm trying to say. How about I get back to you on it? I know that's a horrible thing to ask of somebody, but just give me a chance. I promise I'm not upset with you. I'm just having some conflicting feelings about the whole-" Sylvain vaguely waves his hand, "-idea? Concept? Whatever it is, I just wanna be us as we are."
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"I don't need a ring to prove how much I care about you," he says, smoothing his thumb over the band. The reactionary part of him bares its teeth, but it feels empty. It's just that, a base reaction. He doesn't feel the usual, cynical disgust at the idea when he thinks of marriage with Felix; it's subdued, cautious. Which is the biggest difference: with Felix.
"I um- I don't know if I'm ready for that just yet," he tries to explain. "It's not that I don't love you. And Goddess knows, if I had to marry, I'd never want anyone else. But... I- I..." He's faltering now, and it makes his cheeks heat. Any poise or confidence just dissolves through his fingers when he tries to muster it up.
"I don't even know what I'm trying to say. How about I get back to you on it? I know that's a horrible thing to ask of somebody, but just give me a chance. I promise I'm not upset with you. I'm just having some conflicting feelings about the whole-" Sylvain vaguely waves his hand, "-idea? Concept? Whatever it is, I just wanna be us as we are."