victory_road | July Catch All

At three in the morning, the house is silent.

Through much practice and necessity, Dedue had learned how to move quietly despite his size; his path through the dark halls is equally quiet. His goal, after all, is to reach the kitchen without awakening any of the house's inhabitants-- Dimitri, in particular. Thankfully, Dimitri's sleep is usually eased by the presence of his pink tapir of a Pokemon, so barring any unforeseen incidents, his interruption is unlikely.

Dedue opens the pantry. On one of its shelves are neat rows of blue boxes that boast the cheesiest like a golden apple thrown at the feet of vain goddesses.

Within a few minutes' time, he has removed them from their shelf and brought them to the kitchen table. Applying a warm iron to the glue seal of the boxes loosens it enough to open the cardboard without rips or tears, revealing its innards of amusingly shaped pasta and blasphemous cheese-adjacent powder packets. The packets are Dedue's ultimate goal-- fished out of their noodle beds and tossed aside to be discarded once his task is complete. Another pass with the iron warms the glue again so that the boxes can be resealed, as smoothly as though they were never tampered with in the first place.

This is Dedue's burden, every night after the groceries are brought home. This is what he does for the man he loves, to spare him of a death by dubious yellow chemical powder masquerading as cheese.

Honestly, in theory, Dimitri knows about bikes.

It's not like bikes are rare. He's seen them all over, usually in cities and often in the morning - although sometimes they were quite prevalent around the daytime with how close Olivine is to the sea. People seemed to enjoy taking in the sea air that way.

Just, well. Dimitri has always been a horse riding person. Or, depending on inclement weather, a rats-hitched-to-a-sled-for-their-stuff kind of person. Sometimes he's even flown, which was an entirely new experience for him.

So, long story short, he's never rode a bike before.

Until today.

Where he heard about the bicycle path and decided, hey! Wouldn't that be really fun to give a try?

So that is why the rest of the group has to deal with Dimitri crashing into a bush now. "Ah!" At least he doesn't seem hurt, untangling himself as he is. If anything, he seems to, weirdly, be having fun. "Well, this is an interesting experience!"

He'll probably be fine.

Most of the time, when Grant can't sleep, he just tries to wait it out; it's better, in his experience, to at least stay where he is and rest than to move around fretting over finding ways to get himself to sleep.

But, of course, there are nights when that just doesn't cut it - and this happens to be one of those nights. He figures he can just go get some tea or something, and see if that does the trick, so--

What is Dedue doing with the iron and all that macaroni.

"...Hi?"

The boxes of macaroni have, at this point, been separated into two groups-- de-cheese-packeted and non-de-cheese-packeted. The group that no longer has cheese powder is significantly greater than those that remain unadulterated, and there is a pile of foil packets set to the side for discreet disposal at another location. It wouldn't do, after all, for Dimitri to find the cheese packets in the trash and have questions.

He did not anticipate being caught in the act. Considering the horrific sleep habits of much of the household, it really probably was only a matter of time before he was found out, and possibly a streak of uncommon good luck that let it go on for this long. When Grant makes his appearance and greets him, undoubtedly with confusion, Dedue finishes closing up one of the de-cheesed boxes, sets it with its fellows, and looks over at him. His face is set in its usual expression of stoic calmness. He has two options in this situation-- act as though nothing is wrong, or attempt to explain himself. He decides to go with the former until the latter is necessary.

"Hello, Grant."

This is Fine, Grant. Don't worry about it.

"Hey." Is that redundant? Yeah, absolutely, but he's still kind of. Figuring out what he should be saying here??

He scans the scene in front of him, and-- listen, he tries to think of a different way to put this, but it's really all he's got.

"Can I... ask why you're tampering with the macaroni?"

There it is, the obvious question. Now that it's been directly asked, Dedue can't very well just ignore it. And, anyway, Grant is an eminently reasonable man. Surely he'd be able to understand Dedue's motivations for stripping the macaroni boxes of their false cheese.

"I am correcting a mistake."

That mistake being the existence of fake cheese product anywhere where Dimitri can put it into his mouth. As with small children and dogs, sometimes certain items must be removed from his vicinity for his own good, since he can't be trusted not to inadvisably eat them.

Grant

might be able to piece it together.

If it were not 3am.

He stares helplessly at the array of macaronis, then at Dedue. "What, uh... what's wrong with them?"

Ah. Well. Grant is a reasonable man when it's not 3 am and his brain is working properly.

Dedue picks up one of the discarded fake cheese packets to direct his attention to the object of his prejudice.

"This is not cheese. If Dimitri is to eat noodles with cheese-- as he does, often, I am sure that you have noticed-- he ought to at least eat actual cheese, and not a powdered amalgamation of food dyes and flavorings."

This is what you get for recommending all of those books about nutrition, Grant. Dedue's done his reading homework.

Shrike, on the other hand, learned to ride a bike relatively early in his stay in Johto. In the middle of winter, at that. (Thanks, Sandalphon...)

So while he might have been a little rusty at first, this sort of thing really does come right back to you, meaning he's able to nigh-effortlessly roll right over and stop nearby when he sees that crash.

"Are you okay?"

"Oh, yes. I have faced far worse than this." In case the eyepatch isn't clear enough on that end. Still, it is a little awkward to find a proper grip on so many brittle little bush branches, and Dimitri struggles a moment. "Ah, could you pull my bike away from my feet slightly...?"

Having had worse doesn't mean something else can't be bad, but, well, that's not really a point Shrike's in any position to argue on. He can, however, move a bike, so he quickly parks and hops off his and goes to tug Dimitri's away from him.

It's entirely possible he'll end up just hauling the thing out of the bushes altogether. He might not be as strong here as he is back in his own world, but that doesn't mean he's not still a bit above average.

They can have fun arguments about this sort of thing later. Possibly when Dimitri is off of his bike, and also not in bushes. Perhaps it may be easier to have, then.

As it is, he doesn't complain in the slightest for the bike being hauled out of the bushes entirely. It makes things a little easier on his end as well, although he still has a lot of leaves stuck in his hair. And some twigs. Various little things. It's fine.

"Ah, thank you... I imagine the balance will come to me in time, but it is interesting, steering such a thing!"

At this rate, even Dimitri trying to have a normal conversation while riding a bike would be out of the question, anyway.

"You think so? It's just turning the wheel in the direction you want to go..."

Advantages of being young: sometimes, it's much easier to catch on to things like this.

Grant looks to the packet of cheese - or, well, "cheese". "I... I see. Okay. Makes... sense? I think."

Listen, he's too tired to unpack that fully. He starts to open his mouth to reply, reaching up at the same time to push his hair back from his face-- only to freeze when his hand lands where his eyepatch usually sits, but definitely is not right now. Right. Okay. He'll just be... leaving that hand there, very natural. "Uh-- how long have you been doing this?"

"Ha!" Dimitri shakes his head, still chuckling while he takes the bike's handles. "It indeed sounds so very simple when you phrase it like that. However, compared to a horse, or even any other living creature, it is something different."

Although... Hm. Has he ever really asked this? "Did you ride horses, before you arrived here?"

"No, just Pokémon."

Shrike is back on his bike quickly enough. Almost effortlessly, really. And just... sitting there like keeping his balance is the easiest thing in the world.

"I suppose that makes sense." The average person may not ride a horse, if they do not travel often, or if they have no farm with which would require such livestock. Dimitri carefully balances himself as he thinks this over.

"Still... I suppose it is easier for me to deal with a steed than a bike. A steed is a living thing, and responds to what you're doing. It is a team effort, ultimately. However, for a bike, there is only myself that I can rely on." He smiles over to Shrike. "And good friends as well."

"You don't think it makes it easier?"

A pity he has his hood up as always, though, he's probably blushing a little bit at that last bit.

"I mean, when you're riding a Pokémon, you don't always know what it's going to do, but on a bike it just does things depending on what you do."

"Hm, perhaps it is true that I do not know what they may do next," Dimitri muses, adjusting his grip on the handlebars. "However, should one have a good relationship... I think it is fine. With a good relationship, they may even adjust themselves in response to you, and give indication on what you are doing wrong. A bicycle is far more unfeeling."

Alright. He lets out a breath. "I think I am ready to try again! I shouldn't fall into the bushes this time..."

Shrike considers that for a moment or so.

"Maybe it's because you keep thinking about how to ride a horse or a Pokémon when you're riding a bike that it's hard?"

You know, going in with the wrong set of expectations and all.

The cheese packet is returned to the pile with its fellows and Dedue returns to his task, de-cheesing more boxes of pasta. If he notices Grant's awkward position with his hand over his eye, he makes no outward appearance of it, speaking to him no differently than he ever would have.

He's seen what's underneath Dimitri's eyepatch many times, has reminded him to take care of the scarring there, has helped him apply ointments and creams to reduce pain. There is no horror or strangeness to such injuries for him.

Dedue considers the question. "Do you mean tonight, or in general?"

Those are two very different answers.

"Ah." That actually has Dimitri pause a moment, one foot mid-rise as it had been going to brace against one of his peddles. "Perhaps that may be a good part of it... I know in my head, of course, that it is quite a different matter entirely, with no small amount of reminders for it all..."

Like having to move his own legs rather than just keep them securely in place.

"But I suppose there is a part of my brain that was still thinking of such things." He smiles over to Shrike. "Thank you, that is something I can better keep an eye on! You are always so thoughtful."

Boy this sure is a lot of praise and compliments and such in a short span of time. Shrike isn't at all sure how to respond at this point.

"O-oh, um." Wait this is one of those manners things Sandalphon drilled into his head back when he was still here. "You're welcome?"

Unfortunately for Shrike (or maybe definitely fortunately), Dimitri is the kind of person to lavish compliments on those he cares about whenever he can get away with it. And Shrike makes that very easy to do.

But for now, Dimitri focuses on getting back onto the bike, and tries to focus purely on the fact that it's a bike. Something that is all up to him. He was already doing well enough until he tried to do anything but a straight line...

Fortunately, he kicks off decently once again, and manages to not crash into a bush. Progress! He goes to look to Shrike to smile, only too immediately start wobbling because - shoot - hold on he's got this under control again.

"Uh--it's easier to keep your balance if you don't stop? And if you do have to stop, you can just put a foot on the ground..."

Don't mind him being That Guy who seems able to just balance on the bike regardless. Apparently spending a couple years living in the mountains and climbing cliffs and trees helps with your sense of balance, or something.

"...Let's start with 'in general'."

Okay, well - while he's here, he might as well get what he came out for. He goes to get a mug and find the tea.

"One year, two months, and ten days."

Which, if Grant has a particularly good memory, he might recognize as right about the same amount of time that they've been living in the house that Dimitri built. It's almost as though Dedue has taken advantage of the fact that the kitchen was practically tailor-made to him, including things like his room having easy access to it and the height of shelving being conducive to hiding things from shorter cohabitants. But surely Dedue would never actually do such a thing.

"You will find the tea in the third cabinet to the right."

"Hold on - I know, just - ah!" There he goes, he's gotten right again! He should be fine from now! Probably.

"I wonder - hm - do you think they would have made ways to make it stop without the foot?"

"Oh, I mean--if you stop, you put your foot on the ground to not fall over. To slow down or stop you squeeze the levers on the handlebars."

Did... did Dimitri somehow not know any of this prior to hopping onto the bike?

"Oh, yes - I knew - hold on." Hold on, he's - got it! He's put his foot down without toppling over this time! Dimitri struggles just a moment, to make sure nothing happens, before he loos up.

"So that's what those levers are for! I did not dare touch them, for fear of breaking something."

He's really doing remarkably well for someone who didn't realize how to break like that.

Edited 2023-09-05 10:41 (UTC)

"Jesus--" Grant pauses so he won't fumble his mug, and looks over at Dedue. "So, the whole time we've lived here, then. And he hasn't noticed? And, uh-- right, thanks."

"I think as long as it's not one of those weird weekends it's fine..."

Shrike is, after all, also acquainted with the whole being strong enough to accidentally break things bit.

"Though you still don't want to squeeze too hard at once I guess, if you're going pretty fast."

Nothing like a lot of momentum suddenly being stopped all at once!

Fortunately, Dimitri is more than familiar with the simple logic of physics, and he chuckles a bit. "Yes, I can imagine how badly that would go, especially on a road such as this. But - I understand the idea, yes."

And he's just going to slowly... slowly.... ease into a break just to make sure he has it down before he really needs it.

"It is nice - that they made such brakes so easily available even on the handles."

"I think it's because a lot of people use bikes here?"

Oops, nerd mode has been activated.

"There's so many different kinds, even ones that look really similar can be different, so that means people use them enough to want all those different things, right?"

"It is not precisely that he hasn't noticed-- he certainly has been aware that his boxes have lacked cheese packets. But I was, at first, only removing them occasionally, to reduce his intake."

A box here, a box there. Slowly increasing the number that he removed, to gradually lower Dimitri's consumption of powdered cheese product. Also, technically, steadily increasing his reliance on Dedue to provide the substitute for his meals, but Dedue has long been preparing his liege's meals. It's fine, probably.

"I am certain that he will eventually become suspicious. But there is a saying in Faerghus... how does it go? 'It is easier to beg forgiveness than to seek permission', I believe."

There's nothing which doesn't make sense in Shrike's words, and Dimitri does his best to listen to them, even as he focuses on keeping in a straight line now that he has balance perfectly set.

"Indeed - even simply going down this road, I have seen many people with all sorts of colors, and things that look different in some way!" He hasn't been able to get a close look or anything for obvious reasons, but still. "Is there anything you would like on your bike in particular, Shrike?"

Shrike already had a chance to look at the options back when Sandalphon insisted on getting bikes to travel faster. Again, in winter.

That said, that question sure is one way to derail the nerd talk.

"Oh, um, I don't know?" He never really thought much about it. "As long as it works it's fine..."

"Well, I suppose I cannot argue with the- ah - the efficiency of such thoughts." Dimitri is much the same way, he supposes, although his preferences are a bit stronger when it comes to actual living steeds.

"But there's nothing about them that you think would make things easier for you as a rider...?"

"I think I'd need to ride more? I mean, it's hard to tell what's easier or not if you haven't done something or not..."

Especially since the kid already has a great sense of balance, which is typically the hardest part of bike-riding for most. How unfair is that?

"Aaand he just... figured that was a manufacturing error, didn't he. And kept buying the same brand, anyway."

Grant just... sighs, and takes a moment to rub between his brows. "I... yeah, that's a saying where I'm from too, but I dunno if I'd call it a good idea to live by."

"Then the good news is that it seems as though we will be riding much in the next day!" Dimitri says cheerfully. "So by the end of the journey, I would be glad to hear your thoughts!"

Maybe, if he actually gets any ideas... it could be a nice gift for the winter season.

Or Dimitri will simply get right back into woodcarving intensively, as usual.

He might... or he might not. Shrike can appreciate the convenience of a bike in some instances, but the appeal of the thrill of riding is somewhat lost on him.

Or maybe he just needs to be introduced to proper mountain biking.

"Okay."

Of course, fancy foods and sweets he's never had before always go over well, though his favorite may remain peppermint bark anyway.

“He has made no attempt to change the brand.”

He just. Like that kind? Except that he hasn’t been eating the cheese out of them for months, so really it’s just the amusingly shaped noodles that he enjoys. It would perhaps be easier to just find those noodles sold on their own, but here they all are.

“I did not originally intend for things to go so far,” he says. “But I am concerned for his health. I have read a number of books and articles on the subject of nutrition and how it impacts the body and mind, and Dimitri has never been... discerning in that arena.”

Dimitri needs every advantage he can get in the ‘mind’ part of that equation.

"None... I guess that tracks." If Dimitri really likes that pasta, of course he'd want to stick with it, even if the boxes keep mysteriously missing their cheese packets.

That gets another quiet sigh. "That is... a fair concern, yeah; he really doesn't seem to think much about what it is he's eating. But I'm not sure how much harm this cheese powder is really gonna do - I mean, as long as he's not consuming huge amounts of it. ...Which, I guess keeping him from doing that would be the difficult part."

July Catch All - Closed

Dedue's nightly vendetta against yellow dye 5

Backdated - Dimitri, experiencing Bikes

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oh god three months oops

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