victory_road | [audio]

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Do you guys have Thanksgiving here? I mean, Halloween was kind of a thing, but it also got insanely hijacked. What about like...religious holidays? I'm saying is there Christmas, and if there is Christmas, what's the status of, say, Hanukkah? Easter? Eid al-Fitr? Important questions here, folks.

What I'm mostly asking though if is turkey day's still a thing. But for real, though, I also need to know about the winter holidays. I can and will sing the dreidel song at people if I have to.

Oh man, but like with the creepy festival that gave us ghosts, thanks, what about other poke-holidays? Is there like...major festivals for the little guys or what?

And pokemon societies! We already know these things are sentient, I mean, they're smart enough to understand people and think independently and have complex emotions and reasoning skills. What if different species of pokemon have their own societies and holidays?

I'm going down a rabbit hole and I'm gonna stop now.

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[Pokemon holidays? Honestly, that's... a little concerning, somehow. Sure, Pokemon are smart, but the idea of them being so intelligent that they'd form their own societal events is weird, if only because it's difficult to communicate with them. Would Pokemon ever try to take over the world..?

No. Of course not. That's silly.]

I have no idea what any of those things you mentioned are, but... my home would have just celebrated Satinalia at the start of the month, though I'm fairly certain it was only us. But First Day will be in a little over a month. Do they celebrate that here? [It seems kind of silly not to...]

... Do you really think Pokemon have their own holidays? [Yeah, he isn't letting that go.]

That sounds Latin. Are you from ancient Rome or something?

Aaaand first day sounds like...is that at the beginning of the year? Cuz that's New Year's Day. Yeah, we're really creative with our names. I hope there's a countdown and a pokeball drop from a tower. It's just not the same without a ball drop. I mean I don't get it, but it's tradition!

And I mean, I dunno. Pokemon are smart. Not sure if they have a concept of holidays, but...why not?

Turkey day? Do turkeys play some special role in your world?

[Like. A turkey god, maybe? Can't be weirder than people worshipping walls.]

No, I'm from Ferelden. [GOD, it's so obvious, what, are you stupid?]

New Year's Day sounds about right. Though, why would people drop Pokeballs from a tower? That seems like it would hurt. [Pelting innocent people with balls! You Earth folk should be ashamed of yourselves.]

Pray they never organize and decide they've had enough of being cooped up in tiny circular prisons. [He'll front that rebellion.]

Can't say I've heard of it. Yaaay, multiverses! [SUCH SARCASM]

No um, no, that would be hilarious, but there's a tradition from where I'm from where you light up something like a ball and it slowly descends from a tower until midnight comes and it hits the bottom and it's a whole thing. Sometimes it looks like a pickle, or a strawberry, or something in the area that's meaningful? So I mean...pokeball. For here. But I am also for throwing balls at people.

Hey man, I'm amazed it hasn't happened yet. Apparently they're pretty cozy in their balls. Makes you wanna live in one sometimes.

Yeah! You eat them! I mean, you can eat turkey anytime, but Thanksgiving is preeeeetty big on serving up a whole turkey to the family.

[Sarcasm noted. Well played.]

I don't see how that's exciting. Who sits there and drops a pickle on First Day? [Don't fucking throw balls at people.] Ridiculous.

No, actually, it doesn't.

[Eat turkey any time? Jeez, Armin can't imagine being able to afford meat just any time at all. That must be nice.]

So another name for this Turkey day is Thanksgiving? What do you give thanks for?

People whose city is about pickles for some reason so they make a giant fake lit up pickle to slowly lower on a stick.

I never said our traditions made any fucking sense.

Uh, okay, whatever, but if it gets me away from people and is perfectly comfortable in there, I think that sounds like a cheap vacation to me.

It's a nickname because of how turkey is so closely associated with Thanksgiving. You give thanks for...whatever you feel thankful for. Family, friends, food, football on tv, whatever. I mean history says way way waaaaaaay back when, when the colonial Europeans thought they landed on the other side of the world, they had a peaceful feast with the natives, which probably didn't actually happen but we like to think so so we don't feel really bad about ancient imperialism and smallpox blankets.

[Church is a good source of good feels. Always.]

Oh, well, if it's a giant pickle, that changes everything! [He is actually a little bit amused at that, and his voice is pretty telling.

Doesn't last long, though.]

Well, you go have fun, then. I'll be here enjoying air.

And what about those other ones like Christmas and Hannukah? Are those all holidays as well?

[Wow. They don't have nearly this amount of holidays back home. Probably because everything is shit.]

Giant lit up pickle. Like green string lights. High enough in the air for everyone around to see. Makes all the difference.

Meh, air is overrated. You're talking to someone that spent most of his time in a sealed suit filtering everything to hell and back.

Yeah. Man, we have like...so many holidays. And a lot of them depend on where you're from, or on your religion, or what you happened to grow up with. Some of them are for events, some are just to give people a break, yadda yadda.

You saw this giant, glowing pickle yourself? It must have been quite the sight.

[Boy, is this a rollercoaster of entertainment and fury.] And you're talking to someone who spent most of his life in a glorified cage. Enjoy what you want, but don't assume everyone else is so eager about it.

Wow. Okay? That sucks? I don't know why you're talking about cages all of a sudden. Is this a metaphorical cage, like prison, or a literal cage, like a zoo?

Take your pick.

You're the one saying being locked up in a little ball sounds like a bloody picnic.

It's amazing. We don't really have a lot of holidays back home. There's usually harvest festivals in the fall and springtime celebrations, but nothing like Halloween or Thanksgiving.

Which holiday is your favourite?

There's Christmas for sure, and it's even a pretty big deal around here, but I wouldn't get my hopes up for any turkey day if I were you. Unless you consider turducken good enough.

[It might even be, if one doesn't try to think about its origins.]

Other than that, they mostly celebrate the big commercial ones. Starter Day, too, which makes sense. They don't have the Day of Courage, but I guess that one's pretty world-specific.

Apparently it is for the pokemon, jesus christ dude, chill the hell out. Are you a pokemon? No?

So were you like a criminal or what?

[Anders understood about half the words in that sentence, but he still knows enough to be pissed about it.]

Oh, yes! And my crime was being born what I am! You know, sort of like how a Pokemon can't help being a Pokemon, and people cage them for it.

Even if this specific universe doesn't celebrate Hanukkah as an established holiday, I plan to. My family and I don't have a location picked out yet as we're all fairly mobile travelers but you're welcome to join us.

...Oh. I mean--I mean I'm not always the most, uh, the best at observing the--I mean it's hard to get a menorah out in a backwater canyon in the middle of a forgotten colony in the middle of nowhere, plus the fire hazard, not that that ever stopped Caboose from lighting everything and his mom on fire just trying to light candles on a birthday cake--

[Look the sudden invitation from a stranger is unexpected and weirdly touching, he's trying to process unprovoked kindness.] I can't promise I'll be anywhere close to where you guys might be, but if you're willing to, y'know, invite a complete stranger to celebrate the holidays, I'll keep it in mind.

Shut your pumpkin pie-hole, we don't say that filthy word around here. Turducken, I swear to fucking god, y'know--whoever invented that must not have had tastebuds.

Eh, commercial holidays seem kind of universal, at least to any universe that runs on money money money. What's Starter Day, though? I must've missed that one. Too busy working out my pokemon, being the best trainer I can be. [Church...stop before you get too ahead of yourself...]

[He's so close to asking if the kid comes from some kind of medieval world, but that wouldn't translate, probably.] A lot of stuff with farming and the movement of the, uh, moon and sun ~~SUN AND MOON~~ in the sky through the seasons, huh?

...Man, I don't know, Halloween's pretty good for the dressing up, candy, and being given an excuse to scare the crap out of people. Hey, I know it's not a holiday in and of itself, but December's just full of holidays like crazy, it might as well be a month-long celebration. Fourth of July's pretty good, though, for the hot dogs and fireworks, but that's pretty specific to just one country.

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