The empty, aching void in him is still there, and will remain so to continue troubling him until he's ready to start digging in it... but tonight, it took every ounce of willpower to get him through the city and up those porch steps and through that door, and the only thing he has the power to do now is wheeze quietly into his big brother's arm. Because of the existential absurdity of it all.
"I was go-honna have... so many... All the ones that wou... woulda gone to you n'Lust..."
It had just seemed so obvious! Almost a given!
... Of course, remembering now how Lust had treated him with such kindness and affection after the initial enmity had dissipated... is a unique kind of painful. Even as he laughs, he can feel the knot of it in his chest. Which is maybe why the laughter cuts off in a small coughing fit eventually.
But he doesn't pull out of the hug.
He knows it can't last forever, but he'll sit crooked like this for as long as it does.
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The empty, aching void in him is still there, and will remain so to continue troubling him until he's ready to start digging in it... but tonight, it took every ounce of willpower to get him through the city and up those porch steps and through that door, and the only thing he has the power to do now is wheeze quietly into his big brother's arm. Because of the existential absurdity of it all.
"I was go-honna have... so many... All the ones that wou... woulda gone to you n'Lust..."
It had just seemed so obvious! Almost a given!
... Of course, remembering now how Lust had treated him with such kindness and affection after the initial enmity had dissipated... is a unique kind of painful. Even as he laughs, he can feel the knot of it in his chest. Which is maybe why the laughter cuts off in a small coughing fit eventually.
But he doesn't pull out of the hug.
He knows it can't last forever, but he'll sit crooked like this for as long as it does.