victory_road | [closed catchall for Homeward Bound Boy Wrath]

Current Location: Goldenrod City

Entry tags:

[closed catchall for Homeward Bound Boy Wrath]

Who: Wrath, Lust, Envy, Scar, Henry
What: ~~LASSIE~~ WRATH COME HOME
Where: Shark House (ie, quiet suburban neighborhood in Goldenrod City)
Warnings: Later threads include graphic dialogue about subjects like child death/injury, suicide, etc.
Summary: Wrath can't avoid the inevitable any longer. After meandering in awkward emotional paralysis for a month, he finally arrives in Goldenrod City to find out if his family is still there or not.

The city streets haven't changed a single bit.

The same smells hang on the humid, seaside air. The same warm yellow lights blaze above the sidewalks. The same buzz and murmur of never-sleeping nightlife float along main roads and narrow alleys alike.

Wrath remembers all of them with startling clarity, and yet they don't feel familiar anymore. He shies away from all of it, slinking along like an awkward shadow and trying not to be noticed. Which is blessedly not difficult, at least in the heart of town where there's still enough bustle and activity that a short kid and his Cubone hardly stand out. But even with his memories intact... coming back to a bona fide city after the isolation he'd wrapped himself in back in Amestris is overwhelming in every way.

What he's looking for, however, isn't in the heart of town. No, his destination is down in the southern half of the city, in a much sleepier pocket of suburbia...

____

His feet remember the path there better than his brain does, and all too fast, their surroundings have shifted from broad bright streets to ones lined with houses, trees, and lamp-posts. Completely preoccupied with his own growing anxiety, Wrath barely even notices how fast they've arrived until he realizes that downtown's golden hum has been replaced with the soft, velvet drone of chirping insects and whirring fans. The clank of his automail foot on the pavement is painfully loud now that there's so much less background noise to drown it out.

He stops right there in the middle of the road like a statue as the realization hits him.

This is it. This is their street...

Down at his side, Son squeezes his hand. The Cubone had been keeping up with his trainer valiantly all night long, despite his stubby little legs. Keenly-attuned partner-Pokemon senses aside, it hadn't exactly been hard to notice that Wrath had been growing tenser and tenser the closer they got (even though escaping from the chaos of the inner city should have, would have been a relief for most people). Although Wrath doesn't look down, the squeeze tugs him back into reality enough to carry on.

It isn't long until he spots it.

There.

It's there.

It's still there.

The House... but that doesn't mean it has the same people in it. ~~Or that they would feel the same way they did once, even if they'd remained.~~ ... It's not too late. He could just keep walking. He could just head straight out of town and into Ilex Forest, never to be seen again. They would never know that he was here. ... And vice versa.

A shadow briefly passes in front of one of the windows, and Wrath stiffens, freezing again. He feels like throwing up.

But Son delivers a gentle headbutt to his automail leg. CLINK. Wrath grimaces, swallowing, and stumbles up the walk.

Approaching the house is ten times more difficult and painstaking than it had been with the cottage in Violet, but eventually, he finds himself standing on the doorstep, almost too tense to breathe. He lifts a hand several times, only to drop it again. Once, he manages to make contact with the door... but just scratches it timidly with his nails, too quiet to be heard.

"... I can't," he mumbles hoarsely after these failed attempts, more to himself than to his Pokemon... but Son responds anyway with a whispered but no-less-vehement "Bone!" Yes you can!

Wrath lets out a shaky, miserable sigh, but... he can't say no to his son.

Steeling himself and taking a deep breath, he raises his hand again... and knocks.

Thread Timeline because we're out of control:
1. Wrath arrives and is ushered in by Henry + Envy; Scar informs Lust about Wrath's return; Lust and Wrath reunite.
2. As Lust + Wrath Cry In The Living Room (tm), Henry re-enters with a failed hot cocoa attempt; Envy flees to the laundry room.
3. Heather receives distraught Envy phonecall.
4. Envy and Scar briefly discuss The Gluttony Thing in the hall.
5. Wrath and Envy catch up; Evil Brother Hug! at Kitchen Island.
6. Heather and Scar fail to communicate on the porch, but it's fine.
7. Hot Cocoa Attempt 2.0 by Henry; Evil Brothers + Henry quiet couch time.
8. Scar + Lust discuss personal growth and parenthood.
9. Heather gets home with ~~pizza~~ baked goods, gets caught up on the tea.
10. The following morning, Scar + Envy discretely get info from Wrath; also Don't Tell Mom About Gluttony.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Although Scar's undoubtedly had times where his severe stature and blunt, occasionally brutal honesty have made his life more difficult... it's also a blessing. Sitting here in this dark room, with the rest of the house still silent in sleep, the unbuffered weight of his words-- heavy in bleak truth even as they absolve Wrath of responsibility-- cannot be protested.

They don't rid him of that persistent gnawing shame-- he'll be carrying that for a long time-- but he nods, even as he drops his gaze from Scar back down to the blanket over his knees.

"Mm..."

Envy's hand on his shoulder is some comfort, even if the automail feels nothing.

"... I won't tell her."

Scar's eyes dart briefly to Envy. It's clear, still, that the ordeal with Gluttony rattled him more than perhaps anything.

Four hundred years is a dreadfully long time.

He doesn't have anything further to add, in this vein. Scar still struggles with the idea that this darkness is for the best. However, the previous twelve hours have gone to great lengths in settling his certainty. She wouldn't think she needed to know. She would have preferred never having known. It's the only thing that keeps his mouth shut.

Scar nods his thanks. That's one time bomb defused. He considers his words carefully.

"You're going to carry the shame with you. But it will become livable, with patience."

Envy nods, glad that Wrath's agreed to keep the secret.

He sees little functional difference between not having told Wrath his future before and not telling Lust about Gluttony's fate now. What would it accomplish, besides add more pain that nothing could be done to soothe? More nightmares?

He doesn't react openly, besides pausing to listen, but he does take in what Scar says, turns it over in his mind. Nods again.

"Mm. It does. And you're not alone, not this time."

He mulls over bringing up the second part of it all, but...

"Al told me before that the two of you found what was left of him down there. And that you fought."

There's an awkward but clear invitation in his voice. If Wrath wants to talk on that, he can.

~~YOU PROMISE, SCAR? THAT SOUNDS FAKE BUT OK.~~

Wrath says nothing-- which, as they all likely guessed the previous night, says a lot.

He had not been lying in his candid anonymous conversation with Envy some weeks earlier; he doesn't intend to die no matter how bad he feels. He'd missed his chance to go, and now he has others depending on him. He has to keep living, it's simply a requirement.

But it doesn't feel good.

He nods anyway, somewhat numbly, because even if he's not... ready to actually take it to heart, it's still something like a miracle that Scar and Envy are here in front of him, saying it at all. Two dead men (as far as he knows), and one dead boy.

... Speaking of death...

"He did?"

Wrath isn't really emoting much, at least not so soon after waking up, but it's clear he wasn't really expecting to hear that. Even if it makes sense... Alphonse had been from the future. Of course he'd have known. Wrath swallows hard, chest tightening. He'd been trying not to think about that. About how hard Al had tried to convince him that they'd been friends, best friends even... and how Wrath had spurned these efforts repeatedly, dismissing them as trickery.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

"... What else did he tell you?"

Envy has to think back, because wow it's been a while. And also he and Al honestly hadn't discussed it very much. He's also following Scar's lead a bit and actually thinking over what to say carefully before he starts.

It's not hard to tell that this is a difficult topic.

Also. Scar is in the room and it's seriously making the whole back of his neck itch to be genuine where the other man can see him doing it...but he'll Do It For Wrath.

"Not many details past that, we didn't exactly get along at the time. He told me you survived after I'd been pulled into the Gate, and were taken back to the surface. Said you'd helped him with his research. That you'd been friends. He talked more later about things we could try when we were figuring out how to help you, once he was in on that."

Wrath is silent as he takes this in.

So Alphonse hadn't told the entire story, then. Somewhere deep down, Wrath can feel a dull sting of hurt that Al had kept the ugliest part to himself. Too ashamed, maybe, to admit to his own role in what unfolded.

But then again, he hadn't exactly signed up for what wound up happening. And Wrath hadn't exactly given him a chance to say 'no', either.

The quiet stretches on for a little longer than would really be normal in a regular conversation... but eventually, the blanket rustles as he draws his automail knee up to his chest.

"... He was trying to find a way through the Gate. To get back to his brother," he begins, his tone dull. He's not looking at Envy or Scar as he speaks-- just kind of somewhere in the middle-distance. The flat effect is not wholly unlike when he'd been dissociating on the couch last night... but this time, he's at least talking. "He wouldn't think about anything else, no matter what anybody said. ... So... I took him down there. Where M... Master kept opening it."

REPEATEDLY.

"... He was trying to get his circle to work when Gluttony came. ... I'd known he was down there somewhere, but I never saw him till then. ... He'd changed. Bigger... bigger than anything I ever saw. White and red... he bled stones through his skin. One head was the same, but there were... others..."

Although he'd started fairly smoothly, the words get... a little choppy as he describes what Gluttony had become.

"Alphonse didn't recognize him. Didn't remember..."

Envy doesn't know just how much had been left out. He'd known that there wasn't an ending to the story he'd been given, and he would probably feel more of a kind of way about that if he and Al hadn't been one fragile truce for the sake of a third party away from being at each other's literal throats at the time.

And after that, when they were all getting along better, it hadn't mattered quite so much to go hunting for the rest of the story.

~~Surely Envy and Gluttony would have been enough, to pay the Gate's toll.~~

When Wrath's tone first goes flat and he begins his story, Envy's eyes widen in near-alarm, and flick quickly towards Scar's and then back. He's not really used to this from this particular homunculus.

But even if it's difficult to see Wrath upset, and alarming when he hadn't quite MEANT to upset the kid this much...he had all but asked what had happened. He does want to know.

But Scar if you possibly have any more giant steady brick wall guy words in there....

As Wrath gets to describing Gluttony, Envy's arm finds its way around Wrath's shoulders without him thinking about it instead of just having a hand resting. He saw the thing, he knows how...bad it was.

"I saw it, once. Here. In...in that dream forest. I know," he squeezes Wrath's shoulder, now that his hand is on the one that isn't made of metal, casting for words in what he remembers of things others have said to him, "Take your time. Just what you want to say."

Scar doesn't outwardly react to the daze that comes over Wrath. There's a heaviness, in kids who have seen and done things they ought not to have. He's more than aware.

He takes in the details of Gluttony's mutation, Alphonse's fractured memory, the fight underground, and the boy's difficult time putting it all to words. He has never been privy to what became of Gluttony, but he can conjure a similarly horrific picture, if not an accurate one. He's seen a malformed homunculus.

It seems, on some level, that Wrath wants to spell out the details. So, Scar urges him forward. He doesn't want to suffocate him in unfamiliar reassurance, after Envy's encouragement.

"And this was where Alphonse opened the portal to the world Edward was trapped in?"

A sour note forms in his stomach. He would make the same choices all over again, without question, but those two Amestrian boys are a cyclone, their efforts to put one another back together sucking in and endangering all in their periphery, including themselves.

The arm around his shoulders... it's warm, Envy's arm gets to be warm in this world. It's one of those little oddities that's technically a coincidence, technically unrelated to any of the growing he's done as a person... but it feels too right not to mean something.

Wrath leans into it, and his voice steadies... although it remains monotone. That's the only way he can relay the story at all, slow or not.

"Yes..."

It all came back to that-- the way the Elrics had turned death into a revolving door, trading themselves off over and over to save the other. Even thinking about it makes Wrath feel sick, and only the fact that he's already groggy from waking up stops it from showing on his face.

"He didn't know it needed something living to work right. I didn't tell him right away. I knew he would just use himself if I did."

It had been a cruel and selfish trick, leading him down there and knowing the whole time that it would fail unless blood was spilled. That it would be leaving Al with only one option, if he wanted it to work. But was there any OTHER way to end the stupid brothers' pointless, neverending circle of self-sacrifice?

"Gluttony and I fought. I ate some stones to get stronger but it wasn't enough. I knew when he caught me he wouldn't let go so I broke my automail driving it into the floor to keep him in the circle. That way Alphonse would be able to complete the transmutation."

Even as Envy had spent this entire morning hoping that Wrath had survived whatever had happened when he and the remains of Gluttony had fought one another, some part of him has known better.

That part gets stronger the more Wrath speaks. He finds himself tensing, practically holding his breath as the story continues towards its inevitable end, the possibility that he really hadn't wanted to consider.

"He transmuted you?"

It's an impulsive question that he hadn't been able to help; it feels like cold static rushed into his head at the thought. His voice is low and nearly flat, save for a note of swelling anger.

Wrath had always been so, so frightened of the Gate.

Hollowly, some part of him notes that it must have been the same transmutation. They'd met their ends at the same time, a world apart.

"I told him to," Wrath is quick to add. Even in his daze, he can hear that familiar note of anger in Envy's voice, however subtle. His own mildly-hurt feelings towards Al aside... he's not going to lie. Alphonse had never wanted to hurt anybody. "It's why I waited until we were all the way in the city to say anything... I hoped that way, he wouldn't argue with me."

Without even necessarily realizing it, his own voice had gone up a note or two-- trying to be reassuring. Somehow.

"Gluttony was a surprise-- and even with him there, Alphonse still wouldn't do it right away. It was almost too late."

Lifting his automail arm, Wrath points at the port where it connects to his shoulder, then a couple spots on the elbow joint.

"The automail was nearly torn out-- it was broken here, and here. And even if it held... Gluttony's teeth had already broken my spine into two pieces, in my skin, and pushed all my blood up through my throat. In another minute the rest of me would break in two too and then he'd be able to escape the circle and kill Al. I had to scream at him, to make him hurry. He didn't want to."

Only a Homunculus could say something so ghastly and look so sure that it was going to make the listening parties feel better at the same time.

Scar remains level throughout Wrath's gruesome description. He's familiar enough with this, too. Wrath has to explain it. Make sense of it. Ground it in reality.

He exhales barely a touch harder at the mention of Alphonse. He knows it isn't directly the Elric boy's fault, per se, and he knows that Al himself had a compromised memory at the time, but what in the world could have possibly happened to make the two of them like that? Who had left them so alone?

Or perhaps it wasn't a slip of obligation. This is simply the inevitable outcome of putting the power to rip holes in the world into the hands of ignorant teenagers.

Another point in the ALCHEMY = EVIL column, if you would.

Gluttony's involvement is a complicated matter, but he's going to save that for Envy later.

Envy's primary focus right now is Wrath, and he does seem to take a breath as the description goes on, keeping his own anger over it under control. But he does take a moment to look up and check Scar's reaction--he is a human, after all, and even if he's seen some shit Envy isn't entirely familiar how he'd react. When he doesn't look like he's having too difficult a time hearing it all, Envy's eyes go back to Wrath. His mouth is set in an unhappy, protective sort of scowl. He nods at the emphasis on Al not wanting too, to let Wrath know he understood the 'reassurance'.

Okay. Okay, so even without memory, Alphonse hadn't done what their father had, hadn't treated Wrath as some disposable thing. As a convenient loophole to gain without sacrifice.

He still hates that Wrath ended as...as material, even if it was willingly (an entire other can of worms, although at least it isn't a surprise). Ironically, his thoughts on alchemists aren't too much different than Scar's are right now. God, but he'll never stop hating that they were always nothing, not people, not anything worth more than what an alchemist allowed.

It had clearly been an awful death all around. Envy is suddenly even more grateful that Wrath had come back here and that it hadn't been his true end. He gives into one more impulse, which is to tug Wrath closer into an actual, tight one armed hug, tucking his head down to nudge his forehead on the top of the younger homunculus' head, muttering.

"You're still worth more than a sacrifice. You are."

Wrath offers no resistance as he's pulled into the hug-- just goes right along with it. Sitting on a bed offers a less-clunky position to hug from than they'd had in the kitchen last night.

"... I know ..." Wrath says, a little muffled. But it's a profoundly different sentiment than old-Envy ever would have expressed, and it still hits, even through the figurative haze between Wrath's got between himself and the awful things he's describing. "I just... I just didn't want to see them keep killing themselves for each other..."

And that's the honest truth... even if Wrath had wanted to die, he'd still done it for the Elrics.

He's quiet for a moment, thinking about that.

And then when he next speaks up, there's a crack in his voice where there hadn't been one, as he'd relayed his miniature horror story of an end.

"I don't know if it worked... I saw the flash of the transmutation and then I was here. I don't know if he made it."

It's the first time he's addressed out loud just how recently it had happened. He hasn't been thinking about it-- he's been doing everything in his power not to think about it. Suddenly losing a little of his flat daze, he twists his head into Envy, shutting his eyes.

He won't cry.

"He is fine. They both are," Scar says quietly. He isn't clear, exactly, how this all ends. He likes to think that the two of them wouldn't have about-faced the minute they were together on the other side of...

whatever the hell all that was,

but he can't be sure. He can never be sure, with those two.

I don't know if it worked... I saw the flash of the transmutation and then I was here. I don't know if he made it.

Scar's solemn frown mellows.

"That's how I came to be here, as well," presented as a bit of trivia more than out of any desire to distract from what Wrath is recounting. Al needs help. Grievous bodily harm. Oops, An Arm, Big Alchemy Light. "The lower half of me was mostly intact, though. You have me, there."

One eye blinks back open when Scar speaks-- god. Wrath really hopes that he's right. It doesn't bother him, to have been the toll... but only if it worked. The thought of it all being for nothing makes him want to scream and never stop.

The next bit is a little more unexpected, but not in a bad way.

Some degree of morbid humor is perhaps the one thing that all Homunculi truly have in common, and Wrath is no exception. It is, in fact, pretty much his one and only coping mechanism at this point.

The visible corner of his mouth quirks up in a small but unmistakable smile, even as he stays squeezed to Envy's side like he's afraid the other Homunculus might disappear if he doesn't lean hard enough. It's a more solid, tangible expression than any he's had since walking in the door last night.

"Well... the lower half was mostly unbitten... It was the middle that was really done for."

SOLIDARITY IN VIOLENT ENDS... HOORAY!

Scar has had his own horrifying encounter with Gluttony, though nowhere near as traumatic, but he's not about to make a comparison, in that regard. Gluttony had been gone. He won't imply otherwise, even in jest.

The Torso Desolation, however,

"I see." Scar's eyebrows quirk ever so scantly up. He's still frowning, but the tone is clear. "Something we can relate to, then."

Dismembered and full of holes! Ask your mom! Or maybe don't!

Envy wishes he knew for sure if Al had made it, but all he can really remember right now is a deeply confusing explanation of portals and the other side coming through or maybe not and someone needing to close it all because it got stuck open? He certainly doesn't remember if it was clear that the two of them were permanently reunited by the end.

But he's pretty sure that "who knows if they stay together but Alphonse's transmutation definitely ripped a hole in reality so severe that it caused some kind of dimensional catastrophe that he didn't explain to me very well seven years ago" would NOT be helpful information right now.

He lifts his head back up after a few moments, but he does let Wrath stay squeezed up next to him. The older of the evil brothers also kind of feels the need to make sure neither of them are going to just disintegrate and if Wrath is leaning then Envy has an excuse to let it happen. Even if Scar's there.

Speaking of which. Envy's eyebrows climb in surprise. Oh! Scar will do a morbid homunculus-style joke! Huh! There had already been some measure of appreciation for the human in the room being able to deal with a matter-of-fact description of horrific injury, but his estimation goes up a few more points.

~~As does his small, scattered collection of gelatin knowledge.~~

And it had worked, too, on that emotional crack in Wrath's voice. It had gotten him to joke back, something that Envy had only seen a hint of the previous night. That's promising! Something of an amused, relieved half-smirk creeps onto Envy's face, too.

"I think Scar's right. They managed to get through just about everything else..."

This IS still maddening but significantly less deeply enraging to an Envy who's gotten to spend a while being happy in a miraculous Pokemon dimension, so if the Elrics being happy makes Wrath feel any better...

It does, it does make him feel better.

Enough that he's able to lift his head again, still wearing that wobbly little smile.

In the weeks since he'd arrived, he's barely spoken to anybody-- the occasional near-incomprehensible text messages aside. Between that, and the way he'd been fighting so hard to avoid even thinking about what had happened literal seconds before his arrival... He hadn't realized just how badly the pressure in his heart had built up, keeping it bottled.

It still hurts... but speaking it aloud had drained the wound a little.

"I hope so... I hope they found each other."

A pause, as he lifts his non-metallic arm to drag it across his eyes-- as much to rid himself of the accumulated gunk of deep sleep as it is to soothe the soreness of last night's meltdown.

"... n'I'm glad I found you."

Envy, Scar, and the not-present Lust. All of them. That they were still here, and happy.

"As am I," Scar says quietly. His eyes dart briefly to Envy, then back to Wrath. The terrible intimacy of Gluttony's fate and Wrath's has changed some things. Or, one very big thing.

"Wrath, if you wish to speak with Lust about all of this, we will not stop you. She has made it her place to know what troubles you. That does not preclude this."

It isn't a child's job to keep safe the emotions of their parents. Doubly not, one so young.

Wrath's little smile and him saying he was glad to have found them really hits Envy, too. Twelve hours ago, he'd still been assuming that he might never even see Wrath again. He nods in agreement with Scar, and then...

For a long moment, the return look Envy gives Scar is one of somewhat annoyed bafflement, and then just bafflement as he keeps going. What? Wasn't the whole point of this that they were trying to be careful about the Gluttony thing...? Can't Wrath just talk to one of them if he needs to?

There are a few major differences in the way they're thinking about (or even have the kind of perspective to think about) this situation. Envy's absolute lack of experience with decent human parents, for one. What Envy's assuming would even be the more troubling aspects of the story that Wrath might want to talk with her about, for another.

He hadn't thought they would be trying to ask Wrath not to talk about any of it? Although it has gotten more complicated to separate out than it had been when it was only the ballroom and a nebulous fight.

He's not about to start an argument right this second over it, he did ask Scar in here for a reason and the guy looks really certain, but...yeah. He's going to be asking about it afterwards. For now, he nods slowly, still not really sure himself what's so different.

"Yeah, we're not gonna stop you from anything you really want to talk to her about."

Although not quite on Envy's level... Wrath tilts his head, too.

"Oh..." Scratching at his unfortunate bramble-patch hair, he mulls this over. "I don't want to make her sad... I already hurt her bad enough..."

Even if she'd forgiven him, even if he had in fact had her forgiveness all along and just hadn't known... Wrath is not over it, and may in fact never be. The last thing he can imagine wanting is to hurt her even more.

But then his brows lift, as something seemingly occurs to him.

"... Unless it would cheer her up. To know how I went."

He looks between Scar and Envy, a glimmer of that original pure-as-driven-snow innocence shining through that haunted shroud that's been hanging over everything he does and says for two years straight.

"I slashed her spine... and then, something similar happened to mine."

His actions had come back to bite him... literally!

"We both died in agony... but, it's a little funny."

He could not be more earnest if he tried.

Scar's eyelids go up. Scar's eyebrows go down.

"No, she would not find it funny in the slightest."

They are intimately familiar with grim irony, but this would go over like a lead balloon.

He knows that none of them form relationships within the bounds of what he might consider to be normal. That includes when they care for each other, as parents might. But still... what Scar suggests shouldn't be so alien that Envy looks at him like that.

The urgency that briefly took him fades.

"It is kind of you, to consider her feelings. I only mean that you should not hurt your own for her sake, should it come to such."

At least this time Envy visibly understands what the problem is! OOF.

His eyebrows go up, and he can't help a sideways grimace. Oh NO. Oh no Lust would not think that was very funny. Right now, it's so fresh that even Envy doesn't think it's kind of funny like he had about the automail.

Even if it IS good to see the earnestness shine through like it used to, violent irony or not. He lets Scar gently shoot down Wrath's idea, noting his explanation as making somewhat more sense as something to have an issue with.

ALSO GOOD JOB ROLLING WITH...THAT, SCAR.

Wrath can have a quick pat on the shoulder, since Envy's arm is still there. It's okay, it would have probably been a funny joke at one point.

"Yyyyeah, that one wouldn't cheer her up. She wouldn't want you hurting even if it was ironic."

Fortunately, Wrath needs no further convincing. He blinks, but nods.

"... Oh... okay."

A second crisis, averted.

He would not tell ~~Mom~~ Lust about the ironic similarities between their deaths. This is fine with him, because... even if it is funny, he does not have a particularly good time thinking about it, anyway.

If he had been going to say anything else on the topic, it's cut off by a wide yawn that had been building pretty much since the moment he first sat up. It is really early...

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