rouge one | audio

[gonerouge]

[keith tried to do his best to get some reconnaissance before making this. he wanted to make sure that this planet was safe to make a call for help. he didn't discover much, but he did find out that this planet seemed peaceful, and that it was free from the galra empire.]

Hello, hello can anybody hear me? Allura? Coran? Anybody? [a pause.] This is Keith and... I'm not quite sure where I am. But someone did say that this was the world of Pokémon? If that gives you any idea to where my location is.

[he sounds a bit disgruntled now.] I would have tried to use the distress beacon in Red, but... I can't find Red anywhere. [he's trying to not lose his shit over this but lol] Anyways, for the most part I'm unharmed and--

H- Hey! What are you--?! [keith lets out a disgruntled groan as he shifts the gear from one hand to the other. guess what his litleo just did :DDDD] Oh gross you just peed all over-- [more unintelligible noises and sounds before the recording cuts off.]

Comments

[video]

[harlequinhater]

[Okay, John is a little concerned by how worried this guy sounds over his recording, and it's possible he might have offered help. But the end of that recording is just too funny, okay?

The grinning, snickering face of a buck-toothed teenaged boy shows up on the screen.]

Aw man, did your Pokemon just pee all over you? That sucks, dude! Maybe you should focus on potty training before battle training.

[gonerouge]

[its clear he doesn't look.... amused while responding to you john. but first things first.] My what? [he looks off screen at his litleo. and secondly:] I'm supposed to fight this thing?

[harlequinhater]

Your Pokémon! And no, you're not supposed to fight it. That would be silly. You are supposed to fight with it against other Pokémons and get badges and stuff.

[gonerouge]

Why would I want to fight with it if I can fight just as well without it? Also, why do I need badges?

[harlequinhater]

Look, I am sure you are a world-class fighter...

[John trails off. Did he ever get a name? Oh well.]

Whoever you are. But no matter how good at fighting you are, I do not think you want to take on a fire breathing dragon with your bare fists. Also, if you had any powers, those are gone now too.

And badges help you get around on your Pokémon! So you can fly and surf and stuff. Unless you're a breeder, in which case you're just supposed to make as many Pokémon eggs as possible.

[gonerouge]

[he blinks.] Keith. Do evil aliens toting laser guns work? [bc he's fought against tons of those.] I don't have any powers though, so [he shrugs. ALSO HEY, WAIT A TICK--]

How do you know if you're a breeder? And how do you make pokémon eggs?

[harlequinhater]

I think your bag comes with a breeding manual or something if you are? I don't really know how it works; I'm a trainer.

Also, it is nice to meet you Keith! My name is John. Welcome to the Pokémon world and stuff.

[gonerouge]

[.... brb going through his bag.] I guess I'm a trainer too, then. [he's still confused tho, but that's whatever. at least he doesn't have to think about how pokemon eggs are made. he's not sure he wants to know that info anytime ever.]

Thanks I guess? Is there anyway we can go home though?

[harlequinhater]

[Just try not to think about it too much.]

Not that anybody knows of, but sometimes people will go home suddenly and unexpectedly. Also, time basically stops while you're gone, so you don't have to worry about missing anything while you're here. Just think of it like a vacation with cool magical animals.

[gonerouge]

[he blinks] Wait... what? Time just... stops while we're here? [tho, he could have sworn that shiro had mentioned something before things.... well... yeah.] How is that possible?

[harlequinhater]

Yeah! You just get pulled out of your timeline into this universe, and when you get back, it drops you back exactly when and where you were before. I don't know how it's possible, but it's how it works.

[John has dealt with enough timeline bullshit in his day that this barely even phases him, honestly.]

[gonerouge]

That's confusing, but I guess as long as time stops back home I've really got nothing to worry about. [and that's an honest relief since that kind of takes care of his questions as to where red could be.]

More importantly now though, how do you fight with these things? [he looks down off camera at his litleo, who's just snoozing away.]

[harlequinhater]

It has awesome magic attacks! Or... sometimes they are just normal attacks. Anyways, you can look them up on your Pokédex. That should be in your bag too - it's a little red electronic thing.

[John pulls out his own for demonstration.]

If you point it at your Pokémon it will tell you all sorts of stuff, including the attacks it knows. Then you can just tell your Pokémon to use that attack, and it should do it. Pretty easy!

[gonerouge]

And we just... what, fight other people with it? Or do we fight other pokémon with it?

[harlequinhater]

You fight other Pokemon! Geez, it would be way unfair to fight a human with a Pokemon, especially since we don't have powers here.

Please do not sic your Pokemon on other people.

[gonerouge]

I'm not going to! It's not like these things come with a manual.

[harlequinhater]

Actually, they do come with a manual. Check your bag again - there should be a trainer handbook in there.

[gonerouge]

Oh. [give him a moment as he tries to find this-- and- oh well, would you look at that.] Neat, thanks John.