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[thedifferencebetween]

Hey there kiddos, Handsome Jack here!

[It's that time again. Jack's got his Official Announcement voice and that patent grin of his when he pops on the Network.]

So, I've been here a while now. Gotten to know a lot of people, the lay of the land, how stringent certain omnipotently enforced rules are...

And I gotta say, I know I'm not the only one around here who likes a good fight. A real one! Sometimes ya just wanna throw a bunch of punches to work off steam or whatever! Or watch some punches fly and blood get spilled! And I also know I'm not the only one who takes a real hands on approach to Pokemon training. As in actually going one on one with my Pokemon.

So what I'm thinking is we bring all this together and make it work for us. Weekends only, small cover fee, and anybody who wants a good fight can get one. Go one on one against a variety of normal and fighting types! Got a Pokemon that loves beating the shit outta ya? Bring'em down! Wanna beat the hell out of each other? I'm not gonna stop ya! Get your jollies just watching? Not a problem, you can even bet on the matches!

Where would this all happen, you ask? A basement I'd rent for the purposes.

What about rules? Well there would be some. No weapons, no Pokemon it'd be stupid unfair for a person to fight, somebody uses the safe word and the match is over. We're...we're not barbarians here!

[Jack laughs.]

And no Pokemon that aren't into it, nobody wants to see that, some dude just whaling on a Pokemon that doesn't wanna fight. That's not sports that's...probably illegal. This isn't a slaughter circle, it's like...boxing. With Pokemon. If you want.

Kids get in half price.

Comments

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[pipers_son]

Now, this ain't my kinda hobby, I gotta say, but I am wonderin' if ya got the necessary, ha.... medical equipment for this sorta thing?

I mean. No need ta test how much blood someone can lose here, yeah?

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[thedifferencebetween]

Not to worry, we gotta nurse already lined up! Safety first!

[Bless Rosa, really. Jack wouldn't have had quite as reassuring an answer without her.]

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[pipers_son]

Good ta hear~. Wouldn’t want any of the fun people around here ta end up missin’ an arm~.

[...]

Speakin’ of which, what are the rules on sharp teeth…?

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[thedifferencebetween]

Nah, like I said, we're not barbarians. Plus it'd kill my insurance, probably.

That...is a good question...

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[pipers_son]

Well, let me know when ya figure it out, because I got a shark that’s permanently pissed off.

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[thedifferencebetween]

Oh yeah?

'Cause I mean, I'm fine with teeth! And I figure as long as ya know what you're getting into...you wanna fight something with teeth, you can fight something with teeth. Hell, I got a dude offering me money to see me go a round with a chompy houndoom.

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[pipers_son]

Oh yeah? How much money?

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[thedifferencebetween]

Not yet enough.

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[pipers_son]

[Joker snickers.]

Don’t tell me they’re tryin’ ta go cheap on ya.

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[thedifferencebetween]

Who isn't looking for a cheap thrill? I just don't offer'em.

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[pipers_son]

Let me know if he ups his offer, ‘cuz I think I wouldn’t mind seein’ that happen myself.

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[thedifferencebetween]

Hey, start taking up a collection, I'll see what I can do.

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[pipers_son]

Maybe I should tell that other guy ta start it instead, since it was his idea. What's his name?

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[thedifferencebetween]

No clue, never asked. One of the weird texting kids, I can't keep'em straight.

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[pipers_son]

[A snicker.]

Weird textin’ kids, huh? I’ll be sure ta keep an eye out for that, then.