victory_road | 12th Run // EGGPLOSION

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12th Run // EGGPLOSION

[ Ash is looking extremely sheepish this afternoon. At his side is T-Pain the Slowking, looking as casually regal and smooth as he did and borrowing Ceannfort's shutter shades ]

Right, gonna cut to the chase with all you lovely people. Me and my buddy Noctis have been hanging out and our Pokemon got busy. So we got a ton of eggs to sell. Neither of us are breeders so ur, we don't know like...what's in them. But! We do know who the parents are and we've gotten them to pair up so we got some idea of who made what eggs! We just, can't tell 100 percent if it's like, one species or the other.

So the rundown is my Zoroark and his Lycanroc got together, his Skitty got with my Pyroar, my Raichu and his Bewear hooked up and ur...my Slowking banged Noctis' Tyrantrum and Tyranitar. I don't know how that fucking works but he told me so himself.

[ T-Pain lowered his shades and gave the camera a smug wink. Damn right he hit that. Both of that. ]

But yeah we're only asking for 1000P an egg. There's fourteen eggs all together; five from the Raichu/Bewear pair, the Zoroark and Lycanroc had three, so did the Skitty and the Pyroar, And T-Pain fathered three eggs with the two big girls. So yeah, if you want any of them, let me or Noctis know!

Closed to Noctis

Ash exhaled because. Why did T-Pain have to bang the two biggest, most riotous members of Noctis' team. Why. Or rather, why did he have to bang them and somehow produce children??

So when he approached Noctis, shortly before making the announcement video, it was with T-Pain following him with a swagger in his step.
"Noctis, I have good news and bad news!" He announced, arms spread wide for his entrance. "The good news is, I found out who fathered the eggs Kitty and Crowe had! The bad news is, it's T-Pain. For both of them." He pointed at the Pokemon by his side. The Slowking did not give a damn and simply brushed off his red and white neck ruffle.

(( The OOC egg post is here! Replies will come from both Ash and Noctis so if you want someone specific, just let us know))

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"Okay..." What could be worse than all those eggs? Sure they didn't know who the parents were in some cases but--

"You did--" Wait. Noct's gaze is already on T-Pain and he fights the urge to groan as Ash confirms what went through his head almost immediately. "You've got to be kidding me."

Ash nodded, mussing up his hair. "He told me. And then I checked my pokedex and went through like, all the breeding shit. I found out there's like, different groups Pokemon are put in that have nothing to do with their types, that say who can breed with what. Kitty and Crowe are in the Monster group, and so is T-Pain. I don't get how T-Pain's a monster when he's a...I don't know, long tailed otter or some shit?"

"Ash, I am a monster in the sheets. That's all you need to know." T-Pain answered for everyone present and Ash dragged his hand to his face before turning on him.
"You're actually a real fucker sometimes, you know that?"
"That's how eggs are made, Ash."

"T-Pain, I don't think either of us needed to hear that," Noctis groaned now, leaning back in his seat and rubbing at his face. God the images that put into his head that is so fucked up why would you do that???

The worse part about it though?

"Their kids are going to be terrors. You realize that, right?" he muttered, running his hands back through his hair as he looked at Ash and let out a weak laugh. "Holy shit they are going to be unstoppable."

"Yeah seriously dude, we don't need to know the details here!"
"You both love me." T-Pain smirked. "And of course. It was on my mind, aside from my own...interest in girls with a certain trait."

"I'm gonna assume it's that they're dinosaurs and I don't want to know if I'm wrong." Ash told T-Pain, folding his arms at him. Then what Noctis said hit him and he looked up at him "...Oh Christ. Are they gonna be Slowpokes or like, Tyrunts and Lavitars? Wait it doesn't even matter. God if people know them then we'll never sell those eggs!"

Thankfully, looking at Noctis meant that Ash didn't T-Pain's gesture of making something round, then smacking it. Baby(ies) got back.

"We can't just sell them to people and not warn them, Ash! It'll be on us if they start some massive rampage across Johto! Or Kanto, I guess," Noctis protested, gaze flicking from Ash to T-Pain and back again--

Only for it to land on the Slowking once more as he made a face.

"Dude! Seriously!"

What did they do to deserve this?

"What? What'd you do?" Ash glanced at T-Pain with a frown, who just gave him a laidback look.
"I didn't say anything."

Ash ran his hands through his hair, pushing it back from his face. What the fuck had they done indeed. "I mean, we gotta warn them about An Tintreach too. Oh yeah, she's the mother of some of em. I don't know who did that yet."

"Oh, I know. I saw them when I was telling Kitty that she-"
"Dude, I'm so fucking close to putting you in your ball and shoving it somewhere for a week."

The look on Noct's face right now is one of a young man that is so done with this entire situation. And a certain Slowking.

"I'm going to put money on Amicitia, honestly," Noctis said through a sigh, giving T-Pain a lingering side-eye before he focuses on Ash again. "We should give far warning no matter what. I don't want anyone surprised by a wrestling Pichu or a Larvitar that wants to bench press them."

Because that's probably how it would go down.

Ash sighed heavily. "Right. Yeah like. I knew what I was getting into when I got my Pokemon. It'd be unfair to thrust a mini-An Tintreach into someone's arms and expect them to just deal with that."

T-Pain was utterly unconcerned about their little 'oh no our Pokemon had terrors and contributed to the gene pool' chatter. "You are correct, Noctis. although that is not to say that it will be a Lavitar in the egg. There is a chance that it will be a Slowpoke, as I was."
"Right, so the eggs are more likely to be the mum's species, but could be the dad's?" That was a bit like how it worked back home with metahuman couples. You bang an orc, you might have an orc or a human. It was just sort of in the air.
"Yes."

"So someone's going to end up with either a uncontrollable Larvitar or an uncontrollable Slowpoke." Is he getting that right?

God help whoever takes that egg.

"Okay, that one for sure has to come with a disclaimer. I still don't know how I ended up with Kitty--" God that weekend was weird. "--but if there's a chance it's a Larvitar, I want whoever takes it to know." Because Kitty had put him through the ringer even as a Larvitar. First there was the Everstone stuff then her learning Hyper Beam--which had been absolutely horrible--and then she finally evolved.

Yeah. No. Definitely not for the faint of heart.

"Yeah, add that with T-Pain's ur...let's face it you're kind of a criminal and you don't give a fuck." He addressed the Slowking who conceded with a casual nod. "Yeah that might be bad. Like Crowe's also pretty boisterous but Kitty's the really stubborn one." By now he'd figured out the trio after seeing them and An Tintreach. With his Raichu out of the picture, Kitty was definitely the leader.

"So that's about...eight of the eggs with all their parents accounted for at least, even if it's the wrestlers and T-Pain here."
"Some others did try as well, but were not compatible."
"What dya mean and why the hell were you watching that??"
"I didn't watch any of that! I heard them talking later." T-Pain scoffed, although his voice did soften a little. "Danny and Bean attempted as well. I would have offered to ur...assist but-"
"You knew Danny would kicked your arse all the way back to Azalea."
"Yes."

"...Shit, that's actually a shame. Not Danny kicking your arse, you'd deserve that, but they didn't make any of the eggs." Of all their Pokemon, he could honestly say that Danny and Bean having eggs together would be the sweetest thing, given how much they adored each other. Ash's shoulders sagged. Poor Danny and Bean...and poor him and Noctis. Instead of cute baby Riolus and Munchlaxes, they got literal hellspawn.

Ignoring T-Pain mentioning his offer to help, Noctis frowns softly.

"Yea it kind of is. Those two are so totally head over heels for one another.." It was really sad that they'd never be able to actually have eggs of their own. Eggs that would hatch baby Pokemon that were actually the most darling things around and not some crazy little terrors.

"...What if we got them an egg?" he suggested, his frown melting into something more thoughtful. "Something they could raise together and, no matter what the baby looks like, it'd be their kid."

"Oh...yeah, that could work. We'd need to tell them or they might not understand and not like, bond with the egg, but given that they tried then they're clearly okay with the ide aof having a kid." That was a really sweet idea and it got Ash smiling again. "That's a great idea man."

"...But first we gotta deal with this shit." They had enough eggs right now and god, he was not giving Danny and Bean one of T-Pain's terror eggs.

"Oh yeah, definitely. We deal with this first and then figure out what sort of egg we want to get them later." Because he's in total agreement. There's no way in hell that he would give one of the terror eggs to Bean and Danny--they deserved a normal child.

"Guess we should ask around and see if anyone wants some of them, huh?"

"Yeah, seems to be the way to do it...I'll mention it on the network but maybe some locals would like them too?" It was still odd to think that there were people who just, lived here all the time and had to deal with weirdos like them crashing into their world from other dimensions.

T-Pain simply nodded. "Those are your best options. Unless either of you intend to keep any of them..."
"No, we're-" Ash paused mid-sentence and actually considered it. Fuck, now he was thinking about that.

Noctis squints at T-Pain then turns the same look on Ash because oh he knows what's going through your brain! (Because it might be going through his as well..)

"You're considering it, aren't you?"

"I mean...Like, I don't have some of the Pokemon you've got and they seem pretty cool! Like Amiticia, or Crowe. I dunno where you'd find them in the wild. But! I'll only take one since I mean...Safari Zone and all that." Ash reasoned, extremely sheepish cos yeah, Noctis knew exactly what he was thinking.

"And like, at least I know what they're gonna be like. I can't act all shocked when they turn out as they do."

He did have a point. Two good points actually.

Now it was Noct's turn to look thoughtful, chewing on the inside of his cheek for a moment before letting out a sigh.

"When you put it like that..maybe I'll keep one as well--especially if there are any Pichus in the mix." Because he was pretty fond of the Pikachu family line but he'd yet to get one for himself.

Ash couldn't help chuckling. "You really want to take on one of An Tintreach's kids? I mean, I am since I'd love to have a Stufful." Although...Ash didn't know how to identify the eggs. So really, he was taking a gamble that he'd get a Stufful and not a Pichu.

"It's actually kind funny, I've never seen or gotten a Pichu. All my lot came along as Pikachus."

"As terrifying as it may be, I think I do want one," Noctis admitted with a sheepish laugh before he let out a heavy sigh and looked skyward. "What the hell am I getting myself into?"

Trouble. That's what.

"That's because Pikachus love you."

"No no- insane Pikachus love me." Get it right, none of his Pikachus were exactly 'normal'! Well, Shockmau5 was...when you could catch sight of him. Ash knew he often hid from everybody. He's actually pretty certain Ignis hadn't even seen him yet.

"And hey, I'll be right with ya since I'll have their sibling too."

Noctis laughed at that.

"True. An Tintreach is definitely cut from a different mold from some of the other Pikachus I've seen. And Holokai is...special too." So special. And chill. He was a cool little dude but man he was kind strange.

"Good. That means we can suffer together."

"I embrace this incoming suffering!" Stupid wrestling Stufful and stupid wrestling Pichu, ahoy! Although it would turn out that Ash guesses wrongly when trying to pick out the Stufful egg from the batch.

"Especially when it's with you." He put an arm around Noctis and leaned on him with a bright smile. Yay for bringing your friend down with you into ridiculousness!

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12th Run // EGGPLOSION

[ACTION]

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I'm so sorry Noctis

Oh my god I just burst out laughing in front of a customer

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