victory_road | (no subject)

[For all the talk of kidnapping Santa the previous night, of course the red intruder hadn't been caught at all.]

[And for once, Envy is actually waking up early. There's still some amount of time before the house has both of his half brothers in it and he wants to be awake to savor that time.]

[But hell if he's going to be awake by himself. So he rolls right over and starts insistently nudging Heather's shoulder like an actual five year old...well, on Christmas morning.]

Hey. Hey, Heather. Heather, wake up.

[His next move if she doesn't get up is lightly blowing on her ear. He learned this shit from her.]

_{[Yeah, he super didn't get caught. Heather and Envy are the worst Santa-catchers.]

[She's somewhere in the mass of blankets that Envy's bed has become in the winter, and yes, her first reaction to Envy shaking her like an excited first-grader is to mumble something and shrug it off. But blowing in her ear gets a disgruntled noise and her arm emerges from the blanket-tangle to swat at him.]}

Nnnhhg, what.

[The swat isn't hard to dodge, and he burrows underneath the blankets after her to nudge with more annoying effectiveness.]

Come onnnn. We don't know when they're getting here, I want to be awake before they do.

Besides, we didn't catch Santa last night, so we should go see what stuff we got.

_{[The disgruntled noise returns, longer and louder. But once he's in the blankets WITH her, she can't fight him off. So she just knees him halfheartedly, trying to block him where she can, while glaring at him with one eye cracked open.]}

Mmmmmmn but I'm tiiiiireeeed.

[Oh, kneeing him? Is that how this is going to go?]

[Wordlessly, Envy wraps his arms around her torso and begins to scoot.]

[He's pulling them directly towards the edge of the bed and cannot be deterred.]

_{[... OKAY THAT WAKES HER UP.]

[As cute as it is to see her 400+ year-old significant other get super excited about presents from Santa, being dragged onto the floor is really not how she wants to start Christmas Day.]}

Envy, if you dump me on the floor, I'm gonna take every single present Santa brought you and eat them one by one while you watch!

[OKAY MAYBE HE CAN BE SOMEWHAT DETERRED.]

[He doesn't look the slightest bit remorseful or sheepish though.]

Well then I guess we'd better get up, so you don't have to run the risk of having to eat a bunch of...I dunno, rocks, maybe, or Pokemon eggs.

_{[She puffs, then rolls her eyes-- she can tell she's not getting out of this.]

[Awkwardly bringing her arm up, she pokes him pointedly in the chest.]}

Make me some coffee and I'll come downstairs without a fight.

[VICTORY.]

[Envy looks deeply smug as he nods.]

I guess I can do that, if it means I don't get all my presents eaten.

Come on, let's go then.

[He's already extricating himself from the blanket pile.]

_{[She heaves a sigh for show, but does sit up, rubbing her eyes and running her fingers through her hair.]

[If worst comes to worst, she can always nap later-- Lust can keep an eye on things.]}

All right, all right... keep your shirt on.

_{[Stifling a big yawn, she gets up and doesn't bother undraping the final blanket from around her shoulders. Because fuck it, it's coming downstairs with her.]}

[He's quicker than her to get down the stairs--he's hardly running, but it's a quicker than usual saunter.]

[And, like he'd said, he starts up the fancy do-everything-for-them-so-they-don't-blow-it-up coffee machine for her.]

There. Now you won't have to eat a Pokemon egg.

[For all that she never knew about the holiday until a handful of years ago, Lust's taken well to Christmas. Most of it. The sentimentality of it speaks to her, the whole idea of coming together in the dark and cold time of the year and sharing in comfort and companionship. It's...nice. Especially when one has a family and friends to share in it with.]

[So despite her misgivings about the whole Santa affair - why the breaking and entering? - she's getting the house decked out for the holidays. Madeleine, her Minccino, is on wrapping duty at the coffee table. Gifts for those not in the house, should someone wander into the living room. It smells like something is baking in the oven, and there's puffs of what look like flour leading in from the kitchen. Lust herself is up a step ladder, stretched on her tiptoes, hanging a garland over the window. One of the Umbreon is on the back of a chair on the other side of the large window, the other end of the garland clasped in its mouth. Both look...a touch precarious.]

[Which may be why Kir Royale, the Espeon, is vibrating and watching intensely, tail tips lashing.]

Almost have it in place....

_{[She emerges at the bottom of the stairs a minute or two after him, rubbing her eyes.]}

I would, just to spite you.

But I definitely prefer coffee.

_{[She pads over behind him and gently headbutts him right between the shoulders, leaving her forehead there and just leaning on him. Normally SHE'S the one trying to drag him out of bed, so on this ONE DAY that the roles are reversed, she's going to milk it for what it's worth.]}

[It's going to be a very full house, for the holiday. On top of the complete Elric set, Lust's invited Timothy over. And insisted he bring May and the kittens as well, all of whom have stockings hung for them. She asked him to come by late enough to be spared the chaos of the proper present-opening morning, but early enough to spend the majority of the holiday. He ought to be spending more of those, here. She wants him to get to know her family, them to get to know him. Beyond the casual exchanges over the network and in passing. It goes without saying he'll be moving in eventually, when they're both ready for that step.]

[By the time Tim arrives, Lust is dressed in a casual - if snug - red ankle length dress with a festive ribbon tied in her hair like a headband. His gifts are set aside neatly, waiting for him, and poor Henry the Espurr has been coaxed into wearing a Santa Claus hat and festive tie. He does not look particularly pleased with this, but he never looks particularly pleased with anything. And luckily it seems to be a moment of calm in the house...]

[There was absolutely no way that Christmas Day at this house was going to be completely normal and traditional.]

[Especially not with the particular gift that Envy had gotten and has now dragged out into the middle of the living room under one arm. He holds the dress up, the pink and purple and white fabric blessedly free of the smell of rotten meat or perfume. But everyone present from Amestris, those who haven't already seen it anyway, ought to recognize the thing.]

Hey, so Santa gave me this thing. Who wants to help me set it on fire in the yard?

[A sort of grimly gleeful look passes over his face.]

I was thinking we could even stuff it and give it a head and have a really great time. Merry Christmas to all of us.

[He lets her lean, because it would be a lie to say he didn't enjoy it too, but once the machine dings he tilts his head back to look over his shoulder, snickering.]

What, did you fall back asleep?

C'mon, the coffee's done, let's go look and see what we got. If we got anything. If his magic omnipresence didn't overhear us saying we were going to shoot him and steal it all in the night.

[He laughs again and goes to get the coffee ready, if ready means dumping an absurd amount milk and sugar in both mugs and calling it a day. He doesn't wait around to see if she likes his additions, instead taking his own mug in the direction of the tree. Where there's a...really big, weirdly lumpy package. It's got his name on it. It's definitely not an egg.]

What the hell is that supposed to be? Did I get a dead body?

[At first, Al looks confused, then disgusted as Envy drags out that hideous ballgown. The fact that Envy was given THAT is a sick joke.]

[But then Envy actually makes his suggestion, and he breaks out into a wide, mischievous grin.] Oh, hell yes! I bet we can find enough shed fur around to stuff that thing easy.

Edited 2018-01-17 02:29 (UTC)

_{[She rubs her head in circles against his back.]}

Mhm. I sleep-walked all the way down the stairs. Almost died.

_{[But she's apparently awake enough to grab the coffee without spilling all over herself, and she straightens up so that she can drink it without spilling all over him. Meandering into the living room after Envy, she flops down on the couch and regards the sight of the tree and its piles of loot-- complete with at least one or two Pokemon snoozing among the colorful packages-- blearily but fondly.]

[At least until Envy points out the one that could definitely be a dead body.]}

... Haha, oh shit.

Either you were really good, or really bad.

[Envy is fascinated. He kneels down by the package, giving it an experimental poke. It rustles faintly.]

[What is IN HERE?]

Shit, yeah...I mean it doesn't smell like a dead body.

Maybe Santa overheard our plan to shoot him.

[HMM]

I think I have to open this now. I need to know what's in here.

[If nothing else, this is certainly the most interesting Christmas that Shark House has seen. But everyone seems to be behaving themselves, which is all that Lust hoped for. She supposes it helps some that Edward has been keeping to himself, more or less. She doesn't blame him for not being the most comfortable here, but it is a holiday and she is hostess in this home.]

[So she makes a point of seeking him out, at one of those moments when things are rather quiet and everyone's occupied with their gifts or naps or whatever else.]

There's a fresh pot of cocoa. And it's late enough in the day that I've brought out the bottle of vanilla rum, if you'd like to stiffen it up.

[Because she isn't about to simply say she's checking on him. Even though that's exactly what she's doing.]

It's Santa.

He knew the only way to get you was by surprise so he wrapped himself up under the tree and waited.

_{[She takes a sage sip from her mug. Mm, sugary sludge. It's a good thing that the only way Envy knows how to make coffee is basically exactly how she likes it.]}

Envy? Hey, um.

_{[Henry appears halfway around the corner, his shaggy hair obscuring most of his face as per usual. He hunches his shoulders in attempts to be smaller so that his Embarrassing Request might be harder to notice. Because that makes sense.]}

Can you help me with something?

[Envy looks up from his semi-contorted position on the couch, where he'd been flipping through one of the numerous fashion magazines the house seems to collect.]

What is it, you need help hiding a body?

Wh--

_{[That catches Henry off guard so much that he actually straightens up.]}

No!

_{[He even looks a little defensive about it. HENRY WHERE'S WALTER? HE'S BEEN OFF THE RADAR FOR A WHILE HASNT HE!!!!! Instead of revealing some horrible plot twist, Henry slowly melts back down into his sheepish disposition.]}

No, I need your help with my appearance. I almost lost a customer because I don't look enough like a stoner anymore...but I want to keep my Pokemon Center job. It feels...nice to look like a person again and have people not cross the street to avoid me. It's been so long. And if anybody can help me find a balance between the two, it's you.

_{[Henry gives him a pitiful frown and brings his hands together to plead.]}

[Envy snickers about that defensive outburst because he's a terrible friend, but as Henry continues he sits up, leaning forward on his knees as his buddy makes his request.]

[And starts looking decidedly interested because what's this? Getting to play with someone's appearance? His favorite thing!]

You know, I think I might be able to pull that off.

You're gonna have to tell me exactly what "stoner" looks like, besides...what you used to look like.

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