[001 ☣ video]

[khakhony]

[ The feed starts up as most feeds do-pointed at absolutely nothing in particular and shaking while the owner fiddles around with it. A pair of slacks and worn shoes comes into view for a moment before it shifts again, apparently trying to figure out where the hell the camera is and why it isn't where it's supposed to be, even the shittest cell phones in any given universe aren't as crappy as this- ]

A-Alright, we, we have to-- shit, is this thing even on? Hey Squanchy, what the hell are you--URRRP--d-doing over-HEY, WHAT THE HELL-

[ The gruff old voice that had been muttering before freaking out is revealed to be a man who matches about what his voice sounded like. Old, grumpy, bloodshot eyes from who the hell knows what and what looks to be drool and some other mysterious liquid running down his chin as a metal flask is shoved inside a dirty old labcoat.

The hand not occupied hiding whatever he's been drinking is reaching for the askew camera, his expression annoyed before it's cut out and the feed shifts to darkness while there are scuffles with what sounds like loud, protesting meows.

When it comes back on, the old man's sitting on the ground and has one hand on his flask he's pulled back out and the other holding a Litten that looks far too pleased with itself for showing it's trainer the right way to face the Gear, and he calls himself a genius. As if he can just sense the little bastard's smug aura, the man glares down at the cat before wiping the drool/mysterious liquid off his chin with the back of his sleeve. ]

Alright asshole, d-don't squanch too hard over this, you got lucky.

[ When he finally turns to the camera, his expression has shifted from annoyance to bright and cheerful with a wide grin. Whatever he's been drinking, safe to say it's probably got a high alcohol content. ]

What uuup motherfuckers?! Rick Sanchez, in the motherfucking houuuuse! I-I need, shit-What was-Pikachu! That's it, that lil-little mouse thing, the one with the sparks and the seizures, I need one of those! A-And what was that one, the mushroom zombie thing, one of those too. Where can I catch o-or ot--uurrrp--therwise acquire them?

Comments

[video]

[toxicodendron_isley]

[Ivy is scrolling through the sudden influx of new appearances when she's greeted by a belching face.

Lovely.

She's about to continue past but Livewire hears the word 'Pikachu' and bolts over (pun unintended) to clamber up Ivy's shoulder and gesture to the device.

Ivy sighs and connects the line, a gorgeous redhead appearing with her Pikachu peering into the screen with scrutiny.]

Mushroom zombie?

[video]

[khakhony]

[ The fact that she has a Pikachu and thus may be inclined to share where it came from after he answers stupid questions is the only thing that stops him from getting annoyed at a waste of time, because there's potential here.

So he just grins at the stupid question and takes another long swig of his flask before answering. ]

Ophiocordyceps-the, the Zombie Fungus, it turns insects and really, anything, like, holy shit, you take that and put it on a global, humanoid scale and you've got yourself entertainment for like, a week as people freak out over a zombie appolocylypse b-but, see, there's this, this mushroom Pokemon t-that ta--uuurrp--akes after it. Same concept, but, I hear its mushrooms a-are pretty, pretty magical, if you know what I mean.

[video]

[toxicodendron_isley]

[Ivy allows herself a brief roll of her eyes.]

Yes, yes, Ophiocordyceps, one of the many, many types of Cordyceps that are endoparasitoids.

[She sounds almost bored.]

So in laymens terms, you mean a 'zombie mushroom' rather than 'mushroom zombie', no? You really should word yourself better.

I believe you're referring to this fellow. [She pans the camera briefly to Cordy (named in lieu of Cordyceps) as he mills around a collection of other mushroom based Pokemon before turning the camera back.

The Pikachu looks amused now.]

Pokemon aren't edible though I'm afraid. If you're looking for sort of 'experience' though, Berries are the popular choice.

[video]

[khakhony]

[ Rick zones out the moment she started acting like she knows more about the subject than him, which, isn't there something about a redhead and a plant fetish?? It's on the tip of his tongue in the back of his mind but, eh, fuck it. Too drunk to give it much thought.

But that view of the mushrooms has him perking right back up, blatantly ignoring most of what she said. ]

Yeah, yeah close, that thing, what's it's previous form called? That's the one I'm looking for.

[ Wait ]

Which berries are we talking about here--where are they?

[video]

[toxicodendron_isley]

[She nonchalantly scratches under Livewire's chin as she answers.]

Paras. The tochukaso on their back is still inedible to humans though.

[There's a pause.

Then Ivy gets a long sly smirk across her lips.]

Oh, the Berries are pretty much everywhere. You can easily tell them apart from regular berries. If not, it says what they look like in that little start book you've got.

All perfectly edible too. You should try them all. It'll give you a real kick.

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[lyingheart]

You just got here and you already know what one of these creatures you want?

[ ... how and why??? ]

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[khakhony]

[ He's too drunk to text, he's not even going to try. ]

Uh, yeah? It's Pokemon, what's not to kno--uuurrrp--ow?

[ His unibrow furrows in annoyance and confusion as he takes another swig from his flask, looking down at the Litten in his lap that's just staring back up at him, unimpressed. It lets out a meow, and suddenly realization comes across the old man's face and he snorts. ]

Yeah, right, I'm not the only out of towner in this place. This whole dimension is based around a popular children's video g-game from the late 90's called Pokemon Red, Blue and Yellow. Simple, easy to focus on and made to lure people into buying as much bullshit merchandise as they can shove down your throats with all 151 of the little bastards they came up with.

permatext in response

[lyingheart]

[ Annie listens to this and promptly wants to say, "That's crazy," but she also usually heals all wounds in moments, regenerates limbs, and was sent to infiltrate a isolated, supposedly criminal society in order to wipe it out as a girl who could turn into a fifty foot tall woman.

And now she's in another world. The moment where she considered everything to be a dream ended as soon as the weird animals started showing up. Crazy is a bit... relative. ]

This whole ... dimension. How many dimensions have you been to.

[ If it's based on a game, that's darkly humorous. Of course that doesn't make it true, but it's still a better thought than half a dozen others she's had. ]

[khakhony]

What, you think I count?

[ Despite his tone implying she's asking a really fucking stupid question, he does look as though he's trying to remember, brow furrowed for a moment before he shakes it off. ]

M-More than years you've been alive, probably. More than I've been alive, for sure. I jump around, it's kind of my thing. I'm the only man in any known universe who's invented that technology, and I've always got assholes on my dick trying to get the formula for inter-dimensional travel.

[ Which lead to hundreds upon thousands of Ricks banding together to hide from the government, which, ugh. Hopefully, those assholes are still digging themselves out of the shitter hole he threw them down. ]

[lyingheart]

[ Which continues to mean: he's either telling the truth or not, crazy irrespective most likely, drunk certainly, but talkative regardless.

And inter-dimensional travel won't work on his end, and he's unlikely to be related to whatever brought them here. ]

Have you been brought across dimensions often by anything other than your own invention?

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[thedifferencebetween]

Holy shit, somebody needs to switch to friggin decaf.

[khakhony]

Decaf is for pussies and the mere existence of it is an insult to coffee drinkers everywhere. I-if I wanted my beans soaked in some half-assed mixture of random chemicals for hours to make it "healthier" for me I'd do it myself and make it not taste like shit.

[ And yes, Rick does the air quotes on healthier to emphasize his point, as if the extreme rolling of his eyes at some asshole taking his good mood and buzz for some stupidly juvenile shit as a caffeine high, he needs to get out more. ]

[thedifferencebetween]

So is getting all serious and pedantic in response to cliche jokes your thing, or is this a stress mechanism 'cause you're stuck on one of the stupidest planets ever?

[khakhony]

Speaking my mind is my thing, because most people's opinions are, quite frankly, retarded and I'm smart enough to see that and voice my protests against a world that's got its own head so far up its own ass that it doesn't see half the shit it's producing or how pathetically pointless it all is.

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[plasticasshole]

[Connor seems a little concerned by Rick's current state, in particular the fact that he's drooling. But he has a Pichu on his shoulder, so he feels like he can answer the question he has.]

I got my egg from a place that breeds them... I'm not sure how to contact them directly, but if you contact Armin he should be able to help you. I also think you can catch Pikachu in Kanto on one of the earlier routes.

[He pauses for a moment.]

I'm still quite new here, so I'm not sure what the mushroom zombie is.

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[khakhony]

[ Part of Rick wants to question the logistics of Pokemon Eggs being a thing when most of them are clearly mammalian based but-he's not going to go into that. He went into that when he was a kid and at various points throughout his lifetime and now that he's here he's not about to go deeper than he's willing to experiment with and explore and it's too soon for Pokemon breeding experiments. ]

S-So this Armin guy runs a breeding place, or is he one among many breeders out there who are connected to an egg shop or something?

[ Not that he's going to bother pushing too hard on the questions. If the guy's new, it means he's not going to be much use beyond the basics Rick could probably find out for himself if he could be assed to bother. Which, he clearly isn't and is why he's asking around in the first place. ]

[plasticasshole]

No, Armin was simply kind enough to transfer the egg to me from the place that breeds them. He could probably do the same for you. You'd have to pay for the egg though.

[And since Rick is brand new, he might not want to spend all of his money on a Pichu egg. Then again he might, so the option is there.]

[khakhony]

[ And there's the deal breaker right there. Rick roll's his eyes because of course these assholes charge for eggs, couldn't be like the games where people handed them over out of the goodness of their own hearts and that's cause this is what happens when you introduce reality into some fantasy happy bullshit. ]

Pass, I'll figure something out for myself. But thanks for the effort kid, you were a lot more helpful than some other fucking assholes around here.

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[notvaljean]

[As a connoisseur of weird trash grandpas, Jean is delighted by all this.]

I have a Pikachu you can have. Fair warning, if you ever want to get a Mimikyu, they'll fight. Constantly.

[Hence why said Pikachu is up for adoption.]

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[khakhony]

[ What kind of an asshole just gives away a Pokemon? Fuck it, he's not complaining. If it's this or have to take a trip to Kanto, he'll take it. ]

T-tell me about the lil' guy, and what the hell's a Mimikyu? Sounds like a Pikachu rip-off.

[ It's probably a Pikachu rip off, if the way his Litten starts snickering is anything to go by. ]

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[notvaljean]

It's a girl, and her name is Sassycheeks.

[What's this?! At the mention of her rival's name, Spookycheeks the Mimikyu suddenly climbs up on Jean's shoulder and hisses at the camera.]

And this is a Mimikyu. Like a Pikachu, but better, because they're ghosts.

[And the reason he's so willing to part with a Pikachu.]

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[khakhony]

You seriously named her Sassycheeks, did she have a say in that or did she just accept the fact that she had to obey her Master's ultimate will?

[ The Litten in his lap slowly looks up at him, his paws digging in enough to get attention so his "Master" could see the flat look he's getting. Not that he minds his own name, but even he's picked up on the fact Rick's got a penchant for pot and kettle bullshit.

Rick, for his part, barely even flinches at the addition of the claws, just giving the little kitten a dirty look down in response. ]

I-I'll have you know you lil' shit you're na--uuuuurrrrrp--amed after one of the most awesome cats in any known dimension so you don't have any right to complain.

[ The Litten's look doesn't change for a moment before he decides it's a losing battle and goes back to grooming himself. Rick rolls his eyes but scritches the little guy's ears anyway before getting back on track. ]

How does being a ghost rip-off make it any less of a rip-off? Especially since, that-that's obvious trying to be a rip-off I mean, it's a good costume, assuming it's trying itself, but y'know, dressing up like something you want to fight and then getting pissed off the real thing's still better, kind of pointless if you think about it.

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[notvaljean]

Squanchy is the name of an awesome cat?

[Really, Rick? Really?]

[Spookycheeks hisses again, but then Rick compliments her costume and that soothes her ruffled feathers. She'll just glower from now on instead of hissing.]

Pikachus are electric. And hey, electricity attacks are great and all, but they can be a little limiting if that's all you've got. Mimikyus are ghost/fairy types, meaning they can fight dirty as shit, and are a lot better to have on your team if you don't know what you're going up against.

[meteorman]

[PREVIOUSLY ON OLD MAN THEATER aka the test drive...]

Oh please. I don't think it was entirely the Bermuda Triangle's fault. But I do think that sailing into a notably-unstable area made it much easier to facilitate the process that brought me here.

[As usual, Rick Sanchez can't handle subtlety. Which is rich coming from Ford, who wouldn't know subtlety if it danced naked in front of him.]

What about you, how did you get here? Don't tell me you did it on purpose.

[khakhony]

Wouldn't be the first time I passed out drunk and woke up in another dimension.

[ As if this little trip is anything out of the norm for him. Just another adventure only slightly out of his control, but that's fine. He can get it back in his control, and everything will work out. He's not in a rush to go home anyway, so maybe this was an intentional trip, who gives a shit. The only downside to the entire thing is that Morty's not with him, but that little bastard's probably with the rest of the family kissing Jerry's ass so who the fuck needs him anyways. ]

And, fine, there maybe could have been a connection between you being somewhere with already unstable pull and an outside force interfering with it, so your hypothesis isn't entirely retarded this time.