text | it's too late to come on home

[lyingheart]

I'm looking for one person to pose as my fake significant other for a weekend in order to enter a contest in Goldenrod. It will involve battling as a team with each of us using three of our own pokemon partners. You don't need to be a fighter yourself, and I'll be able to manage the details, but I need a human partner to pull this off.

I'm not aiming to win this contest, but I am aiming to wipe out a particular competitive team. Anyone interested, please inquire within. We can discuss compensation.

Anyone who just wants to know why can invent their own reasons.

Comments

text;

[bertall]

You want someone to what

[lyingheart]

[ Bertolt... she knows she's terrible at teamwork but she has a Goal here ]

Be my fake date for a weekend. And fight with me. Not with me, but with me. Technically.

[bertall]

What sort of contest is it where you need a uh

fake date

[lyingheart]

A couple's contest, what else? It's apparently something seasonally related.

[bertall]

Seasonally

wait

I thought Valentine's was the only couples holiday

[lyingheart]

What in the world is Valentine's?

Also, never underestimate humanity's capacity to make things about things you did not expect things to be made about. Or something.

[bertall]

It's very... pink? And aimed towards couples. It's a little awkward.

I didn't know the winter holidays were like that, honestly.

[lyingheart]

What in the world does pink have to do with any of that anyway?

I have no idea if the holidays are like that, but the logic behind this one is "winter season." The couples portion is just one part. I'm not sure it's that related to a specific holiday like the market, but regardless, it's the contest I want to enter.

[notvaljean]

you need a fake boyfriend?
who are we beating up on?

[lyingheart]

Or fake girlfriend, I'm not particular.

Are you saying you're interested? I'm not wasting time going over details just to entertain curiosity.

[ Jean why in the world are you responding here anyway? ]

[notvaljean]

[Someone called him out on his sappy grins and now he's Aggressively Heterosexual.]

I like battles

I don't get to do team battles very often

And I have some level 100 Pokemon who would enjoy stretching their legs

1/2

[lyingheart]

[ Jean, not quite friend, this sounds like a personal problem?

But also, like one that is going to aid her request, so she stares at his text for a moment. ]

Fine. Let me contact you directly.

2/2 lazily pretends this is a direct contact to his 'gear off the network

[lyingheart]

Jean, it's Annie.

The couple I want to take out have an unpleasant record regarding targeting children and young adults starting out on their pokemon journeys, repeatedly challenging and forcing them into fights they can't win, then mocking and belittling them for losing. Not to mention asking for more than is reasonable, double-teaming individual trainers, and refusing to battle with anyone who can meet them on equal or higher ground. They claim everything they do is out of love, are particularly obsessed with each other and their own glorification, and in general irritate the hell out of me.

You still in?

1/2 yeah of course, this is actually his inbox STOP READING BERTOLT

[notvaljean]

[You want his help or not?]

2/2

[notvaljean]

I think I know those douchebags

[Hang out near Starmiebucks? Refuse to fight Blitz like a couple of cowards? May or may not have made snide remarks about the old man who used to live in the dump?]

hell yeah I'm in

how're we going to trick them into a fight, though?
if it's who I think it is, they know me and know I've been here for awhile

[lyingheart]

[ She's talking to him, isn't she? Progress!

And it is those people. What a terrible, and terribly suited, couple they are. ]

We ask the organisers very, very nicely. One of them is the aunt to a young trainer they've targeted before. Not that those idiots appear to be aware of it.

prize had to appeal to them or else they wouldn't have bothered. They've been watching the other entrants and held off to sign up until now. There's about three hours left before sign ups close, and I have the entrance fee covered.

Are they familiar with your family name, your given name, or both?

[notvaljean]

I don't think so
they know my face but not my name

[They call him Old One Ball, on account of the Electrode.]

and I never entered any of the contests, so unless it's related to coffee, I'm not well-known

[lyingheart]

Then I don't see that they'll be forewarned. Forfeiting a round means they're out of the contest as a whole.

Pride will keep them from running this time. I can submit the paperwork within the half hour.

Do you want anything past the satisfaction of seeing these two idiots have to face what's coming?

text;

[sassymaru]

What sort of competition, may I ask?

[lyingheart]

Really just what's described. A team battling competition with prizes for the winners. "Love is a battlefield."

[sassymaru]

And the pokemon requirements? There are levels and such to take into consideration, are there not?

[lyingheart]

Based on what I've seen from the team roster submissions, apparently not. Some of these levels are under 35, others around 50, a handful around 75, and two at 100, belonging to different teams. You're allowed to use items, so to an extent, people might be hoping fast thinking and type advantages or disadvantages along with teamwork will get them through.

There's the standard no use of any mega evolutions. Past that, all's considered fair.

[sassymaru]

Hmm.

Mine are rather slanted toward the lower levels, otherwise I would be happy to offer my assistance.

[lyingheart]

Mine are across the range at the moment, but theirs are ranging from levels 50 to 75, I believe.

Has there been much opportunity for people to compete in team battles here?

[sassymaru]

I must confess, I've little idea. The concept of fighting has not been one my creatures and I engage in.

Contests, on the other hand, are where we prefer to spend our time.