[006] - video (cw: drugs?)

[pkemeter]

[everett didn't you just post a thing like two weeks ago? shh this is important]

[Around 8 AM, a livestream gets posted to the network. There's some amount of fumbling as Egon tries to get the camera to stay still. When the PokéGear finally stabilizes, Egon takes a step back, adjusting his glasses and clearing his throat. Ray Stantz can be seen in the background with an excited expression on his face, as well as a Parasect resting on a nearby counter. A small chunk of the mushroom lip looks as if it has been cut off, though the Parasect doesn't seem to mind this.]

Good morning. I'm Dr. Egon Spengler, and I am here with Dr. Raymond Stantz and Amanita the Parasect to understand the affects of the mushrooms growing on a Parasect and/or Paras.

[He picks up a chunk of mushroom from behind the camera and holds it closely to the camera. The cap appears to be pink with dark yellow spots on it, while the gills appear to be a dark brown color.]

Now, as we know, this fungus enters an almost parasitic relationship with a Paras in its early life, and upon evolving, completely overtakes the host and acts as the "brain" of the entire creature. If the mushroom is removed from the Parasect, the creature ceases movement entirely. These mushrooms release poisonous spores, but these spores can be steeps and boiled to remove their toxicity and are used in some traditional medicines.

[He places the mushroom next to Amanita, who barely reacts. She simply continues to stare unblinkingly at the wall.]

Today, we are going to be observing what effects these mushrooms have upon human beings upon being ingested in their base forms. Our hopes is that these fungi may be able to mitigate physical pain. We will be recording this in order to further analyze whatever data we collect after the experiment has concluded. Ray and I will both be ingesting approximately 500 milligrams of fungi each.

[Egon picks up his piece of mushroom, and Ray does likewise. Ray grins, giving Egon a thumbs up.]

You ready, Egie?

Ready.

[They both eat the mushrooms and wait for the effects to settle in. The initial reactions are quite boring, with Egon droning on about fungi reproduction and how mushrooms have been used in medicine in his dimension and Ray playing with Amanita and occasionally interjecting his tidbits and facts into Egon's lecture.

About an hour later, however, things have...definitely changed up a little.]

Ray. [Egon stares down at Amanita, holding her gently in his arms. The mushroom crab makes a chittering noise.] The fungi think your hair looks nice, and they want to--

[Spengler trails off, still staring at Amanita. Ray glances over at Egon, surprised.] Want to...?

[No reply. Ray lets out a groan, sprawling across his seat.]

Spengs, I'm upset. Why won't the mushrooms talk to me like they talk to you?

They love me more. Maybe if you spent as much time cultivating spores as I did...you'd learn.

[It's amazing neither of them have died yet from their stupid science shenanigans.]

Comments

audio;

[unabates]

[ when the video pops up in jack's feed, it's already been up an hour. he watches the beginning, then skips forward until the most recent part, as they talk to each other.

jack's voice greets them with exasperation. ]

Well, aren't you two a pair of morons.

video

[pkemeter]

[Egon blinks, frowning at the message and mulling over how to respond.]

There are three of us here, actually. A pair is two.

video;

[shiro2hero]

In what world did this seem like a good idea to either of you?

[This is not the scientific method!!]

video;

[ghoststanning]

[Waves!]

This world. Did you know we can't die in this world?

I wish my world was like that.

[neverstudied]

[Approximately two hours into the experiment, Venkman gets home. Unfortunately for everyone, he hasn't checked the network in a while, too busy training his Pokemon.

And by training his Pokemon, I mean "training his Pokemon AND having Tarantula use Pay Day over and over again until it's maxed out for the day". Because she finally learned it, which means that as far as he's concerned Venkman never has to work a day in his life ever again, and the only thing stopping him from rolling up into the hotel room in the most expensive suit he can buy is this vague feeling of dread nagging at him.

He opens the door, takes one look at his partners, and his greeting dies on his throat. He already knows exactly what he's walking in on.]

... Boys.

[He closes the door behind him and sighs, leaning his back against it.]

Was this accidental, like that time in undergrad with Spengs' fungi collection, or purposeful, like all the other times in undergrad?

video;

[shiro2hero]

Yeah, and right now, that's very lucky.

For both of you.

video;

[pkemeter]

[Egon goes to correct Ray.]

Technically speaking, we've survived 100% of all deadly encounters we've had thus far. That's a very good percentage.

[...Um.]

And I don't believe in luck. Numbers tell me everything.

[pkemeter]

[Egon slowly turns his head in Venkman's direction, gets up, and walks over to him. He gingerly clasps Venkman's hands in his and holds them up at around chest level.]

Please, Venkman, we're in the middle of a very important experiment right now.

[He pauses.]

Amanita was kind enough to allow us to take a piece from her parasitic cap. The fungus itself was actually rather rude.

[Amanita blinks, then chitters. She doesn't really know what's going on, but she's glad to be back out of the PC.]

[neverstudied]

Ah-huh. It's always an important experiment. [He squeezes Egon's hands in his.] Man, Egon, if you guys wanted to get high, you could've just asked me. This place doesn't have weed, but Persim berry zest comes close.

And isn't as fucking stupid as shrooms. Seriously, every local in this dimension I talked to told me not to try these unless I wanted the worst high of my life.

... How long has it been since you guys took 'em?

[ghoststanning]

[Ray had been staring at his Pokegear during this conversation when he slowly looks up from it.

He looks... close to tears?]

I'm so glad you're here, Venkie. You just died in my Pokegear.

[... He was playing Kanto Discovery Trail.]

We started... today, I think?

audio;

[unabates]

Unless you've got a third ghost friend there - [ which don't get him wrong they are the ghostbusters they might ] - there's two of you. I'm not counting your fungi buddy as a responsible party.

audio;

[ghoststanning]

Amanita is a ghost friend in my heart.

[Ray sounds... genuinely hurt.]

[pkemeter]

It's been approximately one hour, forty-three minutes and twenty nine...thirty...thirty one--

[Egon pauses, frowning and letting go of Venkman's hands before staring at his own. He carefully turns his hands over before shaking his head and clearing his throat, shoving them into his jacket pockets.]

Enough time, I believe. Would you be interested in becoming a test subject?

[neverstudied]

[... He's not even gonna try to figure out what Ray's talking about. Venkman shakes his head and sits down on the couch beside Ray, leaving Egon by the door.]

Nah. I gotta make sure neither of you get freak out too badly. I'll be the sober one this time.

Plus the last time I took shrooms back home, I got sleep paralysis, and I'm not going through that again.

[ghoststanning]

[Ray almost instantly leans up against Venkman, thankful that he's not dead.]

I don't freak out. The ghosts here won't go for me.

You, however...

[pkemeter]

[Egon stays by the door. When he thinks Venkman isn't looking, Egon goes right back to staring at his hands.

He does, however, chime into the conversation.]

Sleep paralysis demons. Difficult to tell which are real demons or spirits and which are created by the mind. Like the Boogieman.

[neverstudied]

Why would ghosts go for me, Ray? We all know you're the possession-prone one.

Yeah, yeah. This was sleep paralysis, though- I know a real ghost when I see one. And the other Egon's PKE meter didn't go off.

[He watches Egon for a moment.]

Spengs, sit down and stop staring at your hands.

[ghoststanning]

[Suddenly, Ray grabs Venkman’s shoulder, with a grave look on his face.]

Pete.

What if I’m possessed right now?

[pkemeter]

[There's a brief pause before Egon responds again.]

I can't do that, Peter. What if I miss something vitally important?

...I'd also offer my PKE meter, but I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to hold it.

[neverstudied]

[Without missing a beat:]

If you were possessed, the ghost possessing you wouldn't ask that question. It'd be raiseing unnecessary suspicion. But since you probably won't believe that..

[He disentangles himself from Ray's grip, grabs Egon by the shoulders, and gently shepherds him over to the couch and makes him sit down. He then pulls the PKE Meter from Egon's pocket.

Look, you wanna teach a kid that the Boogieman isn't under their bed, you check it for monsters; you wanna teach a stoned parapsychologist that he's not possessed, you wave the PKE Meter over him and show him that there's no activity.]

See? There's nothing. Just...

[Venkman trails off slowly as the PKE Meter's beeping turns erratic. He quickly switches it off, but the damage is probably already done.

Something is in the room.]

[ghoststanning]

[Yeah too late, Venkman, Ray sees that and immediately clings to him, starting to cry.]

I knew it.

I'm sorry guys but you'll have to kill me. It's for the best.

[pkemeter]

We won't have to kill you, Ray. We'll just douse you in mood slime and you'll be fine.

[He does manage to look away from his hands after the PKE meter goes off. He leaps forward to grab it from Venkman.]

Give it to me. We must find the ghost responsible for-- [Waves his hands at Venkman.] --this.

[neverstudied]

[The words "mood slime" almost make Venkman say something that's both really fucking stupid and that absolutely should not be said on a live podcast in the Pokemon world[A livestream that Venkman still doesn't know about, mind you]. But Ray holding him and begging to be murdered just barely distracts Venkman long enough for him to not say the first thing that came to mind. Ray Stantz is a goddamn hero.

Venkman rolls his eyes a bit but pats Ray on the back. He hands over the PKE meter without thinking about it.]

You're not possessed, you idiot.

Ok, first question- did either of you have any Ghost, Dark, or Psychic type Pokemon out of their containment units? Second question, what's the range this thing set to, 'cause it could just be picking up a Pokemon from an adjacent room.

[ghoststanning]

[Ray relaxes a little, but still clings tightly to Venkman, nuzzling him a little.]

Does my love for you count as Pokemon out of their containment unit?

[... So no.]

[pkemeter]

[Egon doesn't respond to Venkman's question. He has no Pokémon out right now, save for the Mimikyu egg, but that's not important right now. What's important is that Egon now has the PKE meter, and he's turning one of the dials down. Whether or not he actually understands it in his current state is the real question.]

It has a three hundred meter radius, but I'll restrict the area to this room.

[He carefully looks up and stares at Venkman. He moves as if to poke him, but then hesitates when he catches sight of his hand and decides against it.]

Perhaps...Venkman is possessed.