004 | Video 1 + Video 2

[thegreenhornet]

[A few days after the prom cruise ended, reports started emerging. It's small news, nobody gives them any importance, and they're largely inconsequential, but they exist as rather minor news.

According to the reports, a man with a hat and a mask has been seen late at night in Goldenrod, pursuing people. According to the local Kangashkan police, they were no more than petty criminals. Thieves...and more thieves...and more thieves, pretty much. Not even Team Rocket members. It's also said there was a Beedrill with the man, pursuing them without any subtlety at all.

From the dozen reports or so, it seems that man managed to capture only one, enveloping him with a lot of webbing created by a String Shot attack, and left him to be captured. When the thief got taken into the police's custody, he mentioned the person who captured him babbled a lot of nonsense about being the Green Hornet and then left. He seemed to be kind of an idiot, the thief said. Perhaps that's not surprising, given only one thief among a dozen got captured in the first place.

Speaking of hornets, looks like Britt made a video recently:]

Uh, so, my cocoon refuses to evolve.

[He picks a Kakuna from the ground and shows it to the camera]

I dunno what I'm doing wrong. I thought I'd have a very big and poisonous wasp by now, but apparently I'll have a cocoon for who knows how long?

What's going on with him?

[Once the video is over, Britt places the Pokeball with the Kakuna back on his belt, beside the one that holds Kato the Beedrill.

A different video appears the next day:]

Me again. Also, this...purple rabbit thing is so weird. Sometimes I think it hates me, but he's so affectionate even if it hurts. I lost count how many times I have been poisoned by this thing snuggling with me. [As if he had been waiting for that to be mentioned, Brutus jumps into Britt's arms and snuggles against his neck. He seems to have grown a lot]

See? It's like I got the bossiest puppy ever but then it turns into this sweet thing out of nowhere. Why do I have the weirdest Pokemon ever?

[A buzz echoes from away from the camera]

Not you, Kato, you're the exception.

[Britt sounds rather fond of his Pokemon. Looks like he warmed up to them a lot]

Comments

video....... 2!

[neverstudied]

Man, do I know the feeling. Poisoning's probably a little better than getting burnt, but worse than getting pecked and trampled. [He watches Brutus hop into Britt's arms, thoughtful.] Could be that his species shows affection with a lot of rough-housing.

I dunno if you can say you've got the "weirdest Pokemon" when you only have, like, two.

[thegreenhornet]

Thanks a lot for the arguments that tell me to never get a fire-type.

[He's not going to let that deter him if he changes his mind, hah]

I choose to ignore most of the ridiculous stuff.

[Hooray, being selective about the reality around him]

[neverstudied]

Hey, they're not so bad. I've got three Fire-types- two of them are fine and well behaved, one's just a little too competitive for her own good. And they're a godsend in winter.

So your Pokemon are all weird, except Kato's the exception, which means you basically just insulted your weird poisonous dog-rabbit-thing and nothing else. You wanna be known as the guy with weird Pokemon, you gotta start building up a collection. Otherwise Spengs will always have you beat.

[thegreenhornet]

[Brutus blinks, realizing Venkman is right. Well this is awkward. He nibbles on Britt's hands, kind of antsy. Thanks a lot for making him self-conscious, Venkman]

No way Spengler has me beat!

[No way. Right?]

[neverstudied]

[Just. Starts counting off on his hands.]

He's got a pistol shrimp, a ghost tree, a creepy mushroom that stares at me from the corner of the room while I'm trying to sleep, a giant cell, a shivering triangle, a sea cucumber that slaps people with her insides-

A kidnapper blimp, some crabs, a bat with a giant mouth, a giant snake dragon with wings on its face, an ant that turned into a dragon, a jerk of a plesiosaur, a psychic platypus, a poisonous centipede, a robotic duck with shitty AI, a traumatized monkey, and a ghost wearing a bedsheet.

Step up your game if you wanna be weird. Spengs has years of experience at that.

[The words may be insulting, but Venkman's tone is fond.]

[thegreenhornet]

What kind of twisted god created this world?!

[Geez, he almost dreads ever seeing so many of those Venkman mentioned]

[neverstudied]

Probably another Pokemon. Actually- definitely another Pokemon.

It's not so bad. Back home, all those things would be trying to kill us, not chilling as housepets.

[thegreenhornet]

They're almost too much power for one person. They must be really starved for attention if they decided to stick around with squishy humans like us.

[neverstudied]

Or they're all like cats, and basically domesticated themselves so they could live the good life and be pampered and fed and cared for. After all, most beings with godlike power love being treated like royalty with their every whim catered to.

[thegreenhornet]

That makes way more sense than it should.

[Brutus sure is bossy with him, forcing him to kiss Deinos and making him follow him around]

[video 1]

[captainash]

Maybe he just enjoys his current form? Or are Kakunas one of those species that learn exclusive moves if you wait before evolving them? That's how my Catherine learned Pay Day.

[Otherwise, he has no clue.]

[thegreenhornet]

What? He enjoys it? Why would he? He can't even move very far without help.

[Even though he's fond of them, Britt still manages to be somewhat callous. Of course he is]

[captainash]

But the expectations are lower, it's a more defensive form... For all you know, he's afraid of flying, or he hates stripes. There could be many reasons, really.

[thegreenhornet]

So weird. It'd be like someone decided to be a teenager forever, somehow.

[captainash]

I'm sure some people would take eternal puberty over the responsibilities of adult life, and since Pokémon don't quite go through puberty in the first place... Then again, there's nothing stopping you from sending him out in battle anyway, is there? So what's the advantage?

Video 2

[ghoststanning]

[He has just met this Pokemon and he loves them.]

Aww, weird Pokemon are the best! Nothing wrong with the "normal" Pokemon, they're amazing too, but I love finding out how unusual the creatures in this dimension can be!

[Ray that's not what he means...]

So what's their name?

[thegreenhornet]

Look, weird stuff is something that just doesn't happen where I'm from. I'm not gonna get used to these things like you or anyone else from similar places.

The species is called a Nidoran, the name I gave him is Brutus.

[...]

Ever noticed the Pokemon names are like...puns? I don't get the pun in Nidoran.

[ghoststanning]

You should come visit New York some time! I'm sure you'll get used to weird creatures after a few days there.

[He waves at the Nidoran.]

... That is a good point, though.

Maybe it stands for "Needle... Ran"?

[Yeah that's probably it.]

[thegreenhornet]

I thought Florida was the place for weird stuff.

[But hey, it could be fun to visit New York]

Maybe it was misspelled and it actually is Dinoran or whatever. I swear it evolves into a huge thing.

[Well, huge by animal standards. It will be shorter than Britt]

[ghoststanning]

There's a surprising lack of ghost activity in Florida.

Which is a shame because I've always wanted to bust ghosts at Disney World.

[:-( please ghosts haunt there for once.]

I know it evolves into Nidoking and Nidoqueen! It being a mutation of the word "dino" might make sense in that case, since I think they do look like Dinokings and Dinoqueens.

[thegreenhornet]

Find an abandoned Disney World. There's bound to be one somewhere.

[It could be kind of cool to explore an abandoned Disney World, he has to admit]

Hear that, Brutus? You're gonna be a dinosaur king. All we need is find rocks from the moon. [...] Am I supposed to look the Pewter City museum for that or what.