58th treasure [text]

[captainash]

If a dozen of your Pokémon have started meeting in secret, stop talking whenever they see you and can't look you in the eye anymore, which option is the most likely?

A) They've pulled a prank on you and are waiting for you to find out.
B) They're planning a surprise party and don't want you to overhear.
C) They're planning to kill you and make it look like an accident, in hopes of inheriting your hypothetical fortune.

I can't reject any hypothesis at the moment, and my search for clues has been fruitless.

Comments

[neverstudied]

in my experience, C is the most likely outcome. maaaaaybe A on a good day. but probably C.

of course i cant speak for whether or not your pokemon are like mine and have actively made attempts to hurt you before, so maybe your odds are better than mine. good luck

[captainash]

A few have, but not those specific Pokémon. Maybe that raises my survival chances?

Still, you'd think they'd realize that most of my "wealth" depends on Catherine's Pay Day, and just ask her for extra money instead of risking an investigation. Can't inherit if they're proven guilty.

[neverstudied]

good point- id be way more afraid if my dodrio and solosis were talking a lot, less so with my persian and golisopod

i think most pokemon dont quite get how money works. like not just the fact that Pay day is my income but like. if i offered them a choice between a small amount of food or a enough money to buy a lot of food, i think most of mine would take the food and not realize they could have used the money to get more

i know theyre pets but a lot of them are also smart as hell so you'd THINK they'd figure that little problem out

anyway. supposing theyre not planning to murder you, are there any other signs pointing to A or B?

[captainash]

None of them would accept the food, only to steal the money the moment your back is turned? I think that counts as a victory for your training methods. The idea of free food makes even supposedly normal people act crazy, though. Maybe you'd get more Pokémon to accept the money if you offered toys instead.

I hear giggling once in a while, which could work for either A or B. And they've spontaneously washed the dishes two days ago, which could theoretically mean they've learned to appreciate doing chores, but it might also be a distraction or a coverup.

[neverstudied]

... you know what youre right. i havent actually tested that theory so its entirely possible that most of them would just completely screw over an experiment like that and take both options. i know my squirtle would

oh theres no way theyre doing chores without ulterior motives. unless uve got a set of clean freaks. make sure none of them start trying to like, vacuum or sweep or do laundry. then you're definitely in some sort of trouble

maybe they're starting to do chores in preparation for living their lives without you after they go ahead and kill you in your sleep

[captainash]

Congratulations, you're raised a Squirtle who knows how to get ahead in life. Or a future criminal mastermind, that's always a possibility.

Shit, I'm pretty sure I saw Shade getting rid of the dust under the couch yesterday. I thought she was just playing hide-and-seek at the time, but she did hold a rag in her paws... Don't they realize they could just afford a weekly maid service, if they remember to generate new funds regularly?

[neverstudied]

she was already like this when i picked her up- part of the criminal squirtles in vermillion city. definitely one of my smartest pokemon, but also an anarchist who can't really be stopped

oh god. youre fucked. unless theyre trying to make the house really nice for that surprise party idea

but just in case i'd start writing them out of your will if i were you

[alittleobsessed]

definitely C!! But nobody gets my fortune!

[Webby, what fortune.]

[captainash]

That's the spirit! But it means you'd have to find a way to counter their plans.

Preferably before they manage to kill you.

[alittleobsessed]

Well, obviously my fortune would be hidden in a place only I would know of. So if my Pokemon do kill me, they'd never find it. That should at least buy me some time to think of an escape plan.

[captainash]

...You do realize that any Psychic-type worth its salt could just grab its location out of your mind, and any Ghost-type could simply phase through the walls to bypass your security measures, right?

[alittleobsessed]

wait what
there's psychic Pokemon?!
I want one!

[Sorry Ash, she's still kind of new to all these different Pokemon types.]

oh that's right! I forgot about ghosts... what exactly stops ghosts in this world anyway? Some Pokemon are stronger against others right?

[captainash]

You're in luck! There's tons of Psychic-type species, from cute flowery dream eaters to weird aliens, so I'm sure you could find one that suits your preferences.

[Even Ash has a few, and they're not the type he's looking for.]

ghost-type Pokémon are weak against themselves and Dark-types, plus whatever weaknesses their secondary type offers. It's something of a 'fight fire with fire' situation.

[forsaintcecilia]

Umm... I would hope for A or B? Probably B? I'm sure your Pokemon like you... Right?

[captainash]

The majority appear to like me, but they're still acting shifty. Why would a Pokémon spontaneously decide to dust the living room or do the dishes, right after a full week of suspicious behavior?

[forsaintcecilia]

Well, I don't think they're setting up to kill you. But I'd be on the lookout for a serious prank. Since it's either that or a party.

[captainash]

Maybe I should plan an escape route and a safehouse, just in case. Preferably one they can't access.

[forsaintcecilia]

I don't think there's a single thing in this world that a Pokemon can't access. They've got powers and stuff.

[captainash]

That's true, in general, but a trainer who specializes in Fire-type might find some success with a safehouse in the middle of a lake. If you're a generalist, though, you're screwed.

[islandshore]

Depends entirely on the Pokemon.

Case in point: If it was a group of Phantom, Glow, and Surge? Probably prank or murder.

You gotta keep an eye out for those dual cases. Pranks that double as death traps.

[captainash]

See, normally I wouldn't worry too much about those specific Pokémon. But between the shifty behavior, the interrupted meetings and the suspiciously spontaneous acts of cleaning, I have no choice but to wonder if I outlived my usefulness in their eyes.

[islandshore]

Got any Pokemon you can trust as an inside agent?

...Man, that sounds cheesy.

But seriously, having a 'mon spy on them might at least clear some of the air. Long as the others don't recruit them as part of their secret Pokecult.

[captainash]

Normally I'd say Darkhound, since he's been with me from the start, but I caught him whispering to Shade yesterday, and he didn't look like he was just giving the newbie some heartfelt advice. SID might be willing to help, but willing and able are two very different concepts.

[islandshore]

Geez... Maybe you could bribe 'em with food? Toys? Something to get 'em motivated?

Otherwise, I'd say ask a friend.

[captainash]

I could bribe them with a trip. They like those, and we've been mostly cooped up in Pewter for a while. Of course, travelling through dark tunnels and forests might not be the best idea, if they're ill-intentioned.