45th treasure [anon text]

[captainash]

So, is anyone else feeling really self-conscious right now because they ended up hugging the fake ghost of their dead best friend twice, with maybe some limited sniffling involved, in public and with a handful of random strangers staring at them like they were crazy?


No? Just me? Great.

Comments

[Text]

[mttbrandlegs]

EVEN IF IT WAS FAKE, THAT WAS STILL YOUR DEAD BEST FRIEND, AND YOU CANNOT BE BLAMED FOR BEING EMOTIONAL!!

THE GHOSTS DON'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND HOW DAMAGING ANY OF THIS IS, THOUGH THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT RIGHT. IT MAKES IT MORE INFURIATING, ACTUALLY!

[Anon Text forever]

[captainash]

I wouldn't call it damaging so much as embarrassing. I mean, I'd have hugged the real one anyway, but at least he'd probably have insisted on talking in private first, so no witnesses?

The ghost's lucky, though. The real guy would have received a punch, too.

[Text]

[wing_attack]

No. It's not just you.

This is really frustrating.

[Anon Text forever]

[captainash]

It's like... They're obviously not the real thing. No way. But at the same time, I felt this overwhelming need to do what I couldn't when it all ended.

In public, because that ghost wouldn't leave me alone while I shopped for groceries. Of all the places to snap and break down...

[Not anooooooon]

[wing_attack]

I wasn't with her when she died. Not in person. So I know how that is.

... Do you want to talk about it?

[captainash]

I was, actually, which is... part of the problem.

Talking might help me, but the way it happened... It could be easily misinterpreted, without prior knowledge of my world's situation.

[wing_attack]

Mine is sort of similarly confusing... but I can try to understand, at least.

[captainash]

Well, then, I guess I should say upfront that the main complication here is that I was the one who killed him in the first place.



Huh. Just writing that down actually does help. Who would have thought?

[wing_attack]

... Yeah I guess that would definitely be a problem. Mine was... we were on two different ships. I saw her through the viewscreen, but...

[captainash]

But there's still some distance, so it didn't feel like you could have changed things by acting differently?

You know, I think about it sometimes. We were close enough to speak, but if I'd just bothered moving closer... would it have helped? Or was it already too late? I guess I'll never know, though.

[wing_attack]

I mean the past is hard to change. Not impossible, since I've seen time travel happen, but wondering if you could change things... doesn't change things, does it?

[captainash]

It doesn't. Not at all. And in my world time travel isn't even a possibility, so my chances of changing things are lower than zero.

Not that I would know how to change them. That idiot had been on a downwards descent for months, and he only managed to snap out of it after...

[wing_attack]

I'm sorry. It... it sucks. I'm sorry.

I wish I could say it gets easier, but it doesn't.

[captainash]

I know. This isn't my first rodeo. Though usually the people I kill and the people I lose are in their own separate categories.

Guess I should have known better. That guy's done nothing but break my heart since we graduated, I swear.

[wing_attack]

... Like. Romantically?

[captainash]

Nah, he's not really my type. Though he did do that to our mutual best friend, accidentally, and believe me I wanted to punch him for that when I wasn't seething with jealousy. But finding out that your best friend was spying on you for over a year, and learning that he gave up on all his principles to follow the dream of a madman... They're a kind of heartbreak, too.

[wing_attack]

... Oh. I'm really sorry. That must have been... really awful...

[captainash]

Sure, but I got back at him by kicking his ass a few times, that last one not included. Or maybe I should include it, considering I wouldn't have had to use lethal force if he hadn't given up on himself and killed a bunch of his own men in the first place.

[wing_attack]

It doesn't stop it from being awful that it had to happen in the first place. 'Getting back' at someone doesn't... ever seem to really help much, in my experience.

[captainash]

It gives you a few minutes of satisfaction, sometimes. That's better than nothing.

I would rather have had that nothing than a dead friend in the end, though.

[wing_attack]

Yeah.

... Is yours doing anything other than just hanging around or is mine just not talking out of spite or something?

[captainash]

He smiled a little and kinda leaned into the hug, but that's more or less it. Never said a single word, though.

[wing_attack]

Okay. At least it's not just me. If it was that'd be really weird.

[captainash]

Yeah. Maybe they're the silent type of fake ghost, solemnly appearing to stop us from making terrible mistakes that would ruin our futures?

Or maybe they speak a different language and don't want to bother finding a translator.

[wing_attack]

... Well she should be speaking the same language as me...

[captainash]

The real one should, but that's the point. The imitation is already not-so-perfect; they're not going to make it worse by speaking the wrong language.

[wing_attack]

This is all really frustrating.

[captainash]

I know. But if previous experiences mean anything, we can be sure it won't last much longer.

text;

[modulatingphases]

Hey now, that's nothing to be self conscious about. Most people would want to hug someone they thought they'd never see again.

Anon text forever;

[captainash]

Even if they're perfectly aware that it's not really the person in question? The real one would never have let me get away with that in public.

[modulatingphases]

You never know, they might have been just as happy to see you.

[captainash]

No way. A handshake? Sure. A fistbump? Definitely. An arm around his shoulders? No problem. But a hug? He'd have died of embarrassment at best, or used the opportunity to shoot me while I was distracted at worst.

[modulatingphases]

Missing someone can make you do some pretty weird stuff.

[captainash]

Tell me about it. That guy actually managed to make me cry, of all things. First time in over two decades, and it was for an idiot.

[modulatingphases]

I'm sure he appreciated the sentiment.

[captainash]

He smiled at me. And then he died, because what kind of guy moves away from a machine that's about to explode? Not him, that's for sure.

[modulatingphases]

[Man what is it with people smiling when they die? Angeal had done the same thing.]

Maybe he was at peace with his decision.

[captainash]

...If it turns out he let himself die like that to atone for ordering his men's deaths, I swear I'm going to raise him from the dead and punch him again. Dying doesn't fix anything.

text;

[ruinimpendent]

[ Though he wishes he knew how to anon it up. ]

I have done similar. My spirit - I wish to protect her.

anon text forever;

[captainash]

Because you could not protect her before? Or because she would have protected you?

[ruinimpendent]

I was meant to protect her. A Knight to a Princess.

A lot can change in two years.

[ He had no idea that Ashe had passed. Thought she really hadn't, he still thought she did and this proved it.

He desires not to share details, however. People can still see he's connected, and he is still scared his captors may see him here. ]

[captainash]

I'm sorry. I guess her passing was sudden and unexpected. But if you were not in a position to help her, don't beat yourself up over it. It doesn't help.

[ruinimpendent]

I was in prison.

[ That's all he'll say about the matter. He shouldn't have been. ]

[captainash]

That sucks. Always managed to avoid it myself, somehow, but I know all too well how much it ruins long-term plans. Guess an evasion was not feasible at the time?