010 - Video

[sociallychallenged]

Video - August 4th

[Hank is looking frazzled as he turns on the camera, pokegear positioned in front of him on his desk. He has no idea how to approach a plan, honestly? Connor's birthday is this month, he never talks about his friends so he's not sure who they are, he doesn't know who to invite. Maybe he'll just tell Connor to tell them to come over?]

[Fuck he doesn't know. But here it goes. He's scratching his head and messing his hair up in the process.]

Okay, I have no fuckin' idea how to cook. I'm shit at it. I need someone to show me how to at least bake something in the next couple of weeks, alright? I'll pay.

[A cake made by him would be optimal. It won't be pretty, but it'd be the effort that counts. He supposes if he wrecks the thing he could go get a nice one from a store at the last moment.]

Also uh... last month while I was with Shadowmaru we ran into some Rockets. [Honestly it ended up being the highlight of his week. He's pretty sure that people aren't supposed to fight Rockets the way they did but it felt fucking great. Plus, you know, skinny funky-haired ninja being fucking impressive. That's a good show.] And the Jennies took 'em into custody. They got back to me and they think one of the pokemon they had was from that Prom that was attacked. Ambrose.

So Armin you can probably give 'em a ring and claim him.

[He hasn't even heard about the awesome dog he missed yet. Though his awesome dog leans in with its giant muzzle and snuffles his messed up hair.]

Comments

video

[cyclonely]

It looks like you already have some people offering to help you so I don't know whether or not you still need any tips but I have a decent amount of baking knowledge! Not as much as my...

[He visibly stalls out. It's dumb to have the conversation about weird SBURB stuff every time but what does he even call Jane without it? It takes 6 whole frowning seconds before he settles on:] ...cousin...but I still know what I am doing! Even without a cake mix, I promise. Uh...preferably without a cake mix, actually.

[sociallychallenged]

I'm still open to any advice.

[He notices the stall. And just because it seems fair to check (perhaps old lingering cop inclinations), he goes ahead and asks-]

Everything alright there? You sounded distracted.

[cyclonely]

Huh? Oh, yeah, it's fine. She is just a...complicated relative. In terms of how she's related to me, I mean. Anyway, a pretty good general tip is to level out the dry ingredients instead of packing them into the measuring cup. Also to keep an eye on the cake for around the last ten minutes of time just in case. Ovens can be different, I think. I'm pretty sure that's the reason for it.

[This is like...teaching a dad how to bake. It's weird and backwards and John isn't sure how he feels about it. But it's the nice thing to do in this case, he figures!]

[sociallychallenged]

[He can make pasta like a boss but he can't bake worth a damn. He lucked out in having a son that like ice cream and store-bought cookies for his sweet snacks.]

[He can vaguely remember a cop one time telling how you were supposed to cook red ice and he is having flashbacks to trying to hold onto all this.]

[He takes some notes.]

Okay, so. Level 'em out and don't just pat 'em down.

I gotcha on ovens though.

[cyclonely]

Good, ok. [John rests his chin on his hand and looks thoughtful.] I am not sure what else there is that wouldn't be listed in the recipe! I guess you can message me if you have any other questions.

Oh, and the most important thing is not to experiment, not with baking. Not when you are new to it, anyway. You can kind of feel out cooking most of the time but baking is like a science experiment where you are trying to get something specific to happen. Changing stuff messes it up really easily.

[sociallychallenged]

Fuckin' A. I seriously remember some of the guys that I brought in when I was in narcotics, the big production workers, and right now I'm thinkin', "Holy shit they would be able to bake a cake a fuck of a lot better than me." So I don't doubt you.

I think I might just try some cupcakes first.

[cyclonely]

Oh...huh, I never thought of that. It is too bad that bakeries are not as lucrative as illegal drugs or maybe there wouldn't be a problem.

[John actually looks like he's validly thinking about a bunch of meth dealers quitting their meth jobs and becoming bakers instead. It's not really a problem anymore where he's from but if it does become a problem, maybe the Earth President could make bakeries more popular to deal with it?

Right, this conversation that he's actually currently having.]

Cupcakes are a good starting place! Make sure to test a couple of them with the toothpick, though, they might not all cook evenly.

[sociallychallenged]

I guess that means I'll need to go get some wooden toothpicks and not the fuckin' plastic ones.

I'll add that to the list.