victory_road | THICK AS THIEVULS

[He taps the wallet again.] Have a screw-around with it yerself if you don't believe me. With this much we probably won't need to do anything shady at all!

[just ignoring how shady his stealing a wallet with plasticky paper and some loose coins is. that's just standard rogue shady.]

Well, I still look like me. [He says, lifting his free hand to flick at his luxurious ponytail. Argo is as blue and scaley as ever.] If he still looks like himself too, maybe people think he's a really weird one of these things.

[And he nudges Weird New Snippers and the Walking Lilypad with one boot.] I mean, he does look like a shrub most of the time, right?

[Standard rogue shady in a place they aren't familiar with and without their large and intimidating looking friend. Lovely. But of course he's going to investigate this nonsense himself, brow knitting as... that... seems to be true.]

How fascinating. I wonder how they manage that... [This seems easier than carrying around gold pieces, after all. A lot less weight and easier to hide on your person. Huh.

Also stop being shady, Argo, oh my god.]

I suppose it would be possible? It probably is possible. ... Maybe he's embracing that shrubby lifestyle and we just weren't made aware of it. That's... that's his prerogative, I guess. [Why the hell would someone want to be a shrub? But, to be fair, the firbolg is a strange one that he still hasn't quite figured out.]

New Snippers seems to be quite okay with everything and just as talkative as normal. And just as useful. As for your... thing there, I cannot say the same. [See, Snippers is even scuttling away from the boot and making an annoyed noise and clacking his claws. Perfectly normal Snippers behavior!]

[Any other retorts Argo had planned (and believe him, he has so many lined up) get stopped short when Fitzroy insults his weird little creature thing.]

Hey! I don't go insulting Snippers for-- for frothing up the bath and being a terrible scribe, you don't get to go and insult Little Buddy!

[He removes his arm from Fitz's shoulder and squats down to pick up the thing, tucking his hands underneath the leaf and lifting the Lotad up to chest height. There are six nubby legs and a slightly wall-eyed face going on under there, that focuses sharply on Fiztroy when the genasi shoves their faces together.] You apologise!

[Argo, Argo please. Don't shove that thing in his face, it's weird looking and probably has some sort of disease that they don't know of!

In fact, he's immediately moving to pull his face away from that creature, nose wrinkled with absolute disgust towards... well, everything, at this point.]

Get that thing out of my face! You don't know where it's been! [Fair point, perhaps. Even if he's taking a step or two back with purse lips and knit brow.]

I will not apologize to some strange creature, in a strange place, that has suddenly decided it wants to be your friend out of absolutely nowhere! And Snippers is perfectly capable at everything he does, thank you very much!

Well, you don't know where Snippers has been! [But he does lower the thing, instead holding it sideways under one arm - and its legs wiggle wildly, its mouth opening and a sort of bubbling noise escaping, so Argo can jab a finger playfully into Fitzroy's chest.] You kiss your mother with that mouth too, and you don't even know where Snipper's butthole is! At least mine has a proper mouth!

Snippers is a magical construct, Argo, I do, in fact know exactly where he has been! Because it's my magic, remember? [Fitzroy, honey, that's a krabby and not your magical construct crab, but it's probably fine right now.]

ALSO I'M NOT KISSING SNIPPERS, AM I? [He's pretty sure he's not! Last he! Checked! Also wow, rude.]

What does my mother have to do with literally any of this? Once again, I have not been kissing a crab and look at that thing [he points at the Pokemon again in Argo's arms.] it's practically acting like it'll foam at the mouth any second!

Snippers is foaming at the mouth!! You're being-- [shit what species is Little Buddy] This is my familiar, now, you're being familiar-ist just because he's different!

[The Lotad just stares at Fitzroy some more.]

And I'm not going to stand for it! All familiars matter, Fitzy!

Snippers is a beautiful and wonderful baby boy and I will hear absolutely no different. [This is a sore subject, why would you ev-... EXCUSE?????]

Familiar-ist isn't even a thing! Also that's not a familiar! Is your magic in that thing? No? Then it's not a familiar, Argo!

[He really, sincerely, detests this lotad right now. Heaven help them.]

I do have magic, I can control water! And so can he!

[He lifts up his Lotad with both hands again, this time holding the Pokemon between its middle and hind legs, and deliberately squeezes it firmly.

This makes it gob up a fat burst of water, straight into Fitzroy's face. Are those glasses gonna protect your poor eyes, Fitzy?] See!

Edited 2020-06-30 14:33 (UTC)

[You know, he was about to respond to that with some version of bullshit. Until that's water from that nasty thing's mouth. And his first response is pure-ass confusion.

His second response is immediately crouching down to grab New Snippers and chuck him at Argo's face. Enjoy that krabby, buddy.]

[He's seen this move once before, but that doesn't mean he's particularly prepared for the crab to be thrown at him.

It's a bit late to wonder if he crossed a line there, isn't it? oh well, he's getting clocked across the face with fifteen pounds of giant crab now, and he lets out a loud squawk of pain as he flails, half-throwing his Lotad into the air as he goes down.]

[No one. No one is safe from having a crab thrown at their face and maybe one day Argo will learn he is literally no exception to that rule. Though he does blink slowly when he realizes what he's done. Welp.

And New Snippers (tm) is just going to sit on Argo's chest for a moment before scuttling back over to Fitzroy, lightly foaming at the mouth and clacking his claws in utter victory.]

I would normally apologize for that but I feel it might have been justified this time around, actually. [NO.]

[The Lotad, by some miracle, lands upright and on its feet, and when it watches New Snippers waddle away it follows him, and puts a little nubby foot delicately on Fitzroy's foot, tilting its lilypad back to stare at him again.

Argo just lies on his back and groans dramatically, lifting a hand to drape across his forehead for a moment. Until he realises Fitz isn't giving him any pity, so he just pushes himself back to his feet.]

Yeah, yeah. At least you didn't rage to do it, we don't need more shit blowing up.

[New Snippers at least seems content to stay next to Fitzroy and ignore the lotad. While Fitz himself is squinting at the weird little creature that is deciding to touch his form in any capacity and just casually try to slide said foot back to not be in contact with the lotad.]

Yes, well, you didn't really deserve a rage. [Is... that meant to be a positive or is that meant to be mocking? Who really knows at this juncture, he sure doesn't.] Also please come collect your whatever this is before it decides to soil my clothing by touching me again.

[The Lotad keeps its foot on Fitzroys's for as long as it physically can, before it resumes staring at him. And starts bubbling at the mouth. At least Argo picks him up then, hoisting him under one arm again.]

Little Buddy's a good boy. But sure, yeah, we're not really getting anywhere just standing here, are we?

[This thing is clearly rabid and he honestly hates every second of it being near him. Please don't soil his clothing, lotad, please.]

You've had it for all of maybe a day, Argo. [... That's probably a fair enough point even as he's shifting to run his hands down his top to smooth out any wrinkles that might have decided to pop up. Have to look presentable for the people around them, right? Right.]

We aren't. Might as well ask around and see if anyone's seen Bud or... someone similar to him, at the very least, since who knows what this place may have done...

THICK AS THIEVULS

I can and WILL!!!!!

Rude!!!!

At least he CAN be rude

>|

>)

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject