John Egbert (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
cyclonely) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
victory_road2020-08-06 10:32 pm
cyclonely) wrote in victory_road2020-08-06 10:32 pm
[video; backdated to mid afternoon]
[Video opens on a slightly cranky-looking John, his hair even messier than usual.]
Ok, hold on a second.
[The footage moves around as John sets up his Pokegear on something so that it has a view of his workspace. He's outside, in the receiving area of the Goldenrod Department Store. John is beside a low opening into the basement of the building, with metal rollers leading a path inside. Closer to the camera is a pallet halfway piled with fairly large boxes of various things, and the sides of some other boxes visible in the corner of the screen implies there are more pallets out of view.
On top of the box John is closest to, is a fat little Pidove, shifting aimlessly from foot to foot and looking off into the middle distance at nothing in particular. It doesn't appear to notice or care when John gestures dramatically at it with both hands.]
Look at this little asshole! He won't move! I don't know why he won't move! At first I thought he was just a dumb pigeon but at this point I am almost certain he's doing this on purpose to spite me!
[Keeping intermittent meaningful eye contact with the camera, John moves over to the box beside the Pidove and bends at the knees to get a hold of it. As soon as he starts ducking down, the Pidove hops from the box it's on to the box John's holding. John's expression immediately becomes pained and he looks between the camera and the Pidove like "are you seeing this shit?!" before lifting the box up and carrying it over to the rollers.
The moment he's close, the Pidove hops down from the box and onto the first roller in line, its lower body wobbling gently back and forth as it keeps its balance.]
Every single time!
[John glares over the box in his arms at the Pidove, which trills a coo back at him, and starts hopping up and down in the low doorway.]
Get out! Shoo!
[He tries to nudge it with a foot, which it pecks, and then he bends in to start trying to push it gently with the box.
At which point it uses Gust and John and the box go shooting off the screen. Offscreen, John yells furiously and comes running back without the box, at which point the Pidove flutters aimlessly back to the box it was on at the start. John is vibrating with rage as he points a shaking finger at the Pidove, who is back to staring into the middle distance.]
Is somebody training these things?! What the fuck is this!
[He stomps over to the Pokegear, snatches it, and zooms in all the way to the Pidove's blank yellow eye before whispering fervently:] Fuck youuuuuuuu.
[He zooms out just enough so that he can move his hand in front of the screen and flip the bird at the literal bird before the screen shuts off.]
Ok, hold on a second.
[The footage moves around as John sets up his Pokegear on something so that it has a view of his workspace. He's outside, in the receiving area of the Goldenrod Department Store. John is beside a low opening into the basement of the building, with metal rollers leading a path inside. Closer to the camera is a pallet halfway piled with fairly large boxes of various things, and the sides of some other boxes visible in the corner of the screen implies there are more pallets out of view.
On top of the box John is closest to, is a fat little Pidove, shifting aimlessly from foot to foot and looking off into the middle distance at nothing in particular. It doesn't appear to notice or care when John gestures dramatically at it with both hands.]
Look at this little asshole! He won't move! I don't know why he won't move! At first I thought he was just a dumb pigeon but at this point I am almost certain he's doing this on purpose to spite me!
[Keeping intermittent meaningful eye contact with the camera, John moves over to the box beside the Pidove and bends at the knees to get a hold of it. As soon as he starts ducking down, the Pidove hops from the box it's on to the box John's holding. John's expression immediately becomes pained and he looks between the camera and the Pidove like "are you seeing this shit?!" before lifting the box up and carrying it over to the rollers.
The moment he's close, the Pidove hops down from the box and onto the first roller in line, its lower body wobbling gently back and forth as it keeps its balance.]
Every single time!
[John glares over the box in his arms at the Pidove, which trills a coo back at him, and starts hopping up and down in the low doorway.]
Get out! Shoo!
[He tries to nudge it with a foot, which it pecks, and then he bends in to start trying to push it gently with the box.
At which point it uses Gust and John and the box go shooting off the screen. Offscreen, John yells furiously and comes running back without the box, at which point the Pidove flutters aimlessly back to the box it was on at the start. John is vibrating with rage as he points a shaking finger at the Pidove, who is back to staring into the middle distance.]
Is somebody training these things?! What the fuck is this!
[He stomps over to the Pokegear, snatches it, and zooms in all the way to the Pidove's blank yellow eye before whispering fervently:] Fuck youuuuuuuu.
[He zooms out just enough so that he can move his hand in front of the screen and flip the bird at the literal bird before the screen shuts off.]
[Text]
I understand that this can be considered, as some folks say, "a real dick move", but considering it is countering you with its own moves of such nature and IS a Pokemon, I don't think most folks would bat an eye at you battling it.
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Well, I cannot say I am surprised that your incompetency does not end at the register. A considerable pity for your employers.
[Yeah.]
Tell me, boy. Have you considered battling the creature? Capturing it, perchance? Truly you cannot be so dimwitted to have not considered the most obvious solution to your laughable tribulations.
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My, oh my! I’ve a got rather long reach. I may be able to assist you in escorting the creature out of your storage space.
... If you are in Goldenrod, that is!
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Video ==> Action
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