video - 001

[nastyboy]

[For those who happen to check into this particular Pokegear feed, they'll find a... bit of a mess at first. It's the awkward fumbling glitch of a person who has never used technology: random noises, constantly shifting camera views, going from selfie mode to camera mode... a mess! But eventually, after a few minutes of this mess, the scene finally stabilizes...]

[To a view of a video game loading screen. To be exact, Misty Mendacity.]

[After another second, a smaller screen pops up in the corner of the video - the camera of the Pokegear that's streaming this whole mess. And it's not a person, despite the name attached to this Pokegear being "Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd". Rather, it's.. a Rattata.]

[Yes, someone's Pokemon has learned how to use it before the actual owner.]

[Yes, a purple rat is streaming what the kids call a "let's play".]

[The head of a rather skeptical Shinx joins the Rattata as the game starts, leading through the opening scene with an ominous Mismagius explaining the story, and then the first level starts off with what looks like a hotel and way too much Aipom imagery scattered about. It seems to play sort of like a 3D Pacman, for those familiar with that game...]

[And, also, you know, murderous looking Aipom animatics with enormous teeth that lead to a jump scare and "death" screen.]

[The first time this happens, the Rattata shrieks and scurries off while the Shinx merely jolts in surprise before leaning forward with the glare of suspicious cats everywhere. After a few moments, the Rattata creeps back with morbid curiosity, and hits the 'continue' button.]

[Encourage the Rattata's endeavors? Or wait a few hours later until there's the sound of a door opening into what's clearly a hotel room behind the little Rattata and a confused (and deep, if you're into that) voice speaks up.]

What are you doing...?

Comments

[cyan_maid]

[asdfghjkl]

So I see...he could probably teach you how to use your 'gear better than I could over a message, but if you do have any questions about it, I don't mind answering them.

[She is here, after all.]

[nastyboy]

....I do not understand what he is doing. Mostly, he.... hits it.

[Rapidly.]

[cyan_maid]

The strength of his paws probably resembles a normal person tapping it, which is the basic sort of thing that makes it do stuff.

[He's got them bitty rat paws after all]

[nastyboy]

[Strength... normal people...]

...How strong is the material that these devices are made of?

[cyan_maid]

Uh...fairly strong? I know I've dropped mine a couple times and it's just come out of that with a ding or two. Dropping it on its screen is likely a bad idea, though. But if they do break, it's fairly easy to get a replacement.

[nastyboy]

[So what Dimitri hears is that he's definitely going to break this thing.]

I think it would be best... if I gifted this to Gremlin.

Such a thing would only be wasted on a thing like me.

[cyan_maid]

But how are you going to keep in contact with any friends you make? Or call for help? Or keep up to date on what's going on?

[Folks, the millenial mindset.]

[nastyboy]

[...]

If any were to seek friendship with me, I would simply speak to them in person. The same for seeking news.

[RIP to the 21st century, but he's different]

Do you have no access to pen or paper?

[cyan_maid]

Well yes, of course, but these work much faster. For example, we're talking in real time as if we were in person right now. What if you were stuck somewhere and needed help immediately?

[nastyboy]

I would deal with it.

[Story of his life, right there.]

There is nothing that can happen which is something I am unable to take care of with my own two hands.

[cyan_maid]

You're sure...?

[She doesn't sound doubtful, more...concerned.]

We've had some pretty weird things happen around here before. Sometimes they lead to trouble.

/fe3h spoilers

[nastyboy]

[...]

My professor was once forced into a portal by a shapeshifter who had stolen the face of a librarian, and they cut their way out upon being blessed by the Goddess.

[You want to talk about weird? His life is nothing but miserable or weird shit, nonstop, ever since he went to fucking school.]

[.....So don't go to Catholic private school, kids, weird things happen there-]

I know you're doing it for everyone else but it's funny when you warn for spoilers in a tag to me

[cyan_maid]

...

[Blinking.]

O...kay...?

dsfjas listen

[nastyboy]

[Yeah, that's the appropriate response.]

I will give the device to the rat.

[...Dimitri did you just skip past a whole conversation after that fun tidbit about your life-]

[cyan_maid]

Wh - hey! Your Ratatta can't exactly explain any of that, you know!

[nastyboy]

I am not expecting him to call for help.

[Dimitri she's not talking about that]

[cyan_maid]

I meant the weird professor stuff!!

[nastyboy]

Such a plaincut matter needs explaining?

[He thought it was pretty clear himself.]

[cyan_maid]

Yes! Professors generally do not do that sort of thing!

[nastyboy]

They were a professor at Garreg Mach - the monastery for the Church of Seiros.

[So it makes sense.]

[Right.]

[cyan_maid]

I am afraid that is not a church I am familiar with, but then again, my Dad was not particularly religious, nor did he raise me to be.

[nastyboy]

Neither was my professor.

[...Garreg Mach's final year was weird.]

At any rate... There is nothing stranger than that, and I have experienced a great many things. I will not require help, whatever occurs.

[It would be better for everyone if he never got help, in his opinion... but he supposes it might be a moot point in the afterlife.]