[video] /aggressively insists the off-brand is the real deal

[demonpuppy]

[The video starts with an awkward close up of a young child, face scrunched up as they navigate the Gear's interface. Once they realize it's started recording, they pull it back to a proper framing, though.]

--didn't know they put this in--um, hi! I'm Chip, I just got my first Palien a week ago! His name's Lazzo and he's a...um...

[They reach for their Pokedex and fiddle with it some until the tinny voice comes on with 'Salandit, the toxic lizard Pokemon'.]

Right, a Salandit! Um, does anyone know why they're using weird names for stuff? And Patty's just got one type, it's really weird...

But! Right I was gonna ask, where can I find a Espcheep? I really really wanna get one for real! I tried looking in the 'Pedia, but there's nothing in there and they've gotta be around!

Okay bye!

Comments

[demonpuppy]

[RUDE]

Well then you're just stupid!!

i dont have any good mad icons

[goldeneyeball]

You can kiss my ass, you little twerp!

rip in rip

[demonpuppy]

No I'm not! I'd beat you in a battle WAY easy!!

And I'll kick your butt!

[woofdad]

[A deep voice that JW heard just a bit ago speaks up from off-camera:] Chip, not everyone is going to know what you know, don't call people stupid.

[Aaaand Grant leans over to get in the frame of Chip's camera, looking incredibly unimpressed.] As for you, are you for real? [They're 10, man!!]

[demonpuppy]

But Daaad, he doesn't even know Espcheep! You know that one!

[woofdad]

Mostly because of you. [And yes also it's plastered all over ads and merchandise and every single promo for the Paliens TV show, but that's beside the point. He knows what it is because of Chip.

He'll nod toward the Gear and give them a moment to cut off the feed if they want to before he continues, because... listen he can not blame Chip if they don't want to get publicly lectured.]

There are plenty of things that might seem obvious to one person and be completely new to another.

[demonpuppy]

[gruuuuuuumble. Chip flips the feed off once JW gets told off, blowing a raspberry at the screen before they do.]

But it's Paliens, there's stuff about it everywhere! Especially here!! ...sorta.

[In case Grant hasn't picked up on it, Chip is incredibly frustrated that they are not experiencing a perfect one-to-one recreation of their favorite media franchise.]

[woofdad]

[Aww, buddy. Yeah, they're... seeming to have kind of a struggle with that.]

Sorta. This place is... pretty confusing.

[Even for him, not having any particular expectations.]

[demonpuppy]

It's so weird it all makes sense except it doesn't and no one else knows what the real stuff is! They're all acting like this is the real one and--!

[Their brief outburst dies out and they curl up in a pout, trying very hard to not cry out of frustration.]

...I just want a Espcheep...

[woofdad]

I know, buddy. [He knows it's weird, and he knows they want an Espcheep.

Grant sets an arm around their shoulders to give them a quick squeeze.] It kinda stinks. [Just, to sum it up.]

[demonpuppy]

[...]

[Yeah, it's hug time now. They are very much NOT crying and no one can prove that wrong but also they're just gonna cling for a while.]

It's not fair.

[woofdad]

It's not.

[Just repeating what Chip said, again, but he doesn't have much to add. So, instead, he'll keep quiet and hold onto them, gently rubbing their back until they've calmed down a little. As minor as the whole thing might seem, to get so upset about, he can see why Chip would be distressed to be somewhere so... not-quite-like their beloved alien-collecting game.]

[goldeneyeball]

_{[AH SHIT ITS THE HOT GUY AGAIN.]}

What! The kid started it.

[woofdad]

Do me a favor and think back over what you just said.

[JW do you make a HABIT of fighting with elementary schoolers because they said something rude]

[goldeneyeball]

_{[JW just stares back at Grant and blinks once, defiantly. He cuts off the feed.]}

[woofdad]

[Absolutely incredible. Grant is going to make no effort to re-initiate contact, but jeez, man, way to make an impression.]