Friday the thirteenth doesn't usually get this whacky

[indigo_league]

Who: ANYONE AND EVERYONE
Where: ANYWHERE AND EVERYWHERE
When: NOVEMBER 13TH TO 15TH
Summary: GET IN HERE AND MINGLE
Rating: BUT PLEASE MARK YOUR THREAD CONTENT ACCORDINGLY
Log:






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Comments

[angewiesen]

...I don't think I've ever seen something better coming out of all of this. I think I'm just trying to keep things from getting worse. Or... Trying to do something to make up for sins I've already committed.

[13thcommander]

Ah.

[Erwin definitely understands that sentiment, and he hates that one of his recruits, one of his soldiers, is feeling that way. He thought that by piling on the sins of the Corps on his shoulders, he could keep the others from bearing that weight. That apparently wasn't the case, and his shoulders droop forward.]

I am... very sorry, Kirstein.

[angewiesen]

It's not your fault. My sins began before I ever joined the Corps. I signed on because of people like Eren and Armin making points I knew were true and I couldn't ignore, as well as... I wanted to honor the memory of someone who thought the best of me even when I was at my worst. I wanted to become the person he thought I was. That's all.

[13thcommander]

And have you?

[Erwin understands this too, and he knows the longing of wanting to make someone long passed proud. Most days, he thinks his father would be proud of him, but he's not sure.]

[angewiesen]

I don't know. I can't ask him.

[He has often wished he could, but he can't. Still, Jean realizes that's a bit of a cop out on the question, and he sighs.]

He was always proud of me, even when I didn't deserve it. So... I think he would be now, even if it was only for making one decision that was for the sake of others and not for myself. That's what put me on the path I walk now, so everything that's happened since is just a consequence of that.

[13thcommander]

Then it sounds like he would be.

[Whoever this person was, Erwin thinks he would have liked to have met him.]

[angewiesen]

...He would've been the best soldier under your command.

[Jean didn't truly know if Marco would have signed up with the Corps or not, but he often imagined him at his side during the hard times, so he liked to think he would have.]

[13thcommander]

[Erwin moves back to the bench where he was sitting when Jean found him, and sits down. Candy the Ponyta jumps into his lap and settles in, and Erwin runs his hand over her mane. He gestures at the spot next to him on the bench with his head.]

Tell me more about him?

[angewiesen]

[Jean hesitates for a second, as he's a little too emotionally stunted to immediately accept an invitation like that, but he finds himself giving in. Penny moves to sit down on the ground next to him, fluffing her feathers and closing her eyes.]

It's been so long since I last saw him, sometimes I worry that I'm forgetting things, or making other stuff up in my head, but... He was a real, genuine guy. He wanted to join the Police-- He could have, if he survived, since he graduated 7th in the 104th-- and actually wanted to do it for good reasons. He wanted to serve the King and the people. I just wanted an easy ride...

He was just... He was always there. Whenever I accomplished something, or fell on my ass, or was making a fool of myself, he was there. Congratulating me, or picking me up off the ground, or holding me back from a fight... He was always at my side. Losing him felt like losing my hand-- Uh, no disrespect intended, sir.

[13thcommander]

None taken.

[Erwin knows it's just a figure of speech. Beyond that, he knows exactly what Jean is talking about; losing Mike had been bad, a real blow to both the Survey Corps and Erwin personally, but it's the thought of losing Levi that makes him sick to his stomach. Levi had just always been at his side, always supported him, and Erwin can only imagine how hard it must have been for Jean to lose his own version of that.]

He sounds like a true friend, and a good man. What was his name?

[Erwin had heard about him, the seventh ranking graduate who had died at Trost, but he'd never gotten the kid's name. That feels like an oversight, now.]

[angewiesen]

[If Erwin gave voice to that thought, Jean would tell him that both Levi and the newly appointed Commander Hange seemed equally distraught over his death. The way they lingered over his dying body... He'd never seen them act that way before, and he hasn't seen anything like it since. Both of them were irrevocably changed by it.]

Marco Bodt. He was from a large farming family in Jinae.

[13thcommander]

[Erwin wouldn't be surprised by that. He does, in his own way, love Hange too, and relies on them for a lot. It's just not the same as his relationship with Levi, though.]

Recruits from farming communities usually make good, strong soldiers.

[He's not ragging on city kids like Jean, but there is definitely a certain learning curve most of them have that the kids from the farms don't.]

Did his family apply for a soldier's pension? I doubt Dok would have given it to them, but Pixis most likely would have, and so would I.

[Not that it matters now, he can't change anything, but Erwin would have fought to get the poor doomed kid a pension, even a small one. He died in Trost, he deserves recognition for his service.]

[angewiesen]

...I hope they did. At the time, it didn't come to mind. I was pretty distracted.

I wonder if it'd be too painful, to get some money every year instead of their eldest son.

[13thcommander]

... it never stops being painful, when you've lost someone.

[Spoken from someone who knows that pain all too well.]

But, given enough time, you can remember the good things instead of the bad. I hope that happens for you, Jean, and I hope it has happened for Marco's family.

[angewiesen]

It's already like that. He's a good memory. It's... Just a memory, though.

[13thcommander]

Is he, though?

I've never met the man, but I know you, and you've said that you became who you are because of him. It seems to me like that's the finest tribute you could give him.

[angewiesen]

[Jean blinks, and then his eyes scan around in surprise. He... Honestly had never thought about it that way before. Had he really done well enough to be considered someone's legacy?]

...Yeah. Yeah, that's probably right.