sweetbrohellayiff (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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victory_road2020-11-21 07:37 pm
sweetbrohellayiff) wrote in victory_road2020-11-21 07:37 pm
Text, backdated to 11/16
[ After the weird weekend that Dave was not entirely clear was both very temporary and had the serious potential to strand him like an idiot, he realizes that he has to swallow his pride and concede both of these things. Worse, he has to ask someone to rescue him.
He's got very little money, a fresh starter that cannot even hope to stand up to even the most casual of encounters with whatever roided out zubat lay in wait for him. In fact, he's mostly just trying not to repeat that exact humiliating beating he took not twenty minutes ago. He sucks up his pride as he attempts to plan what he wants to say to everyone, but fails.
good morning everyone with a lick of sense
or at least maybe a couple people who actually played this game as a kid
seems ive woken up to a big bowl of cinnamon toast consequences
it seems i can no longer fly
and also i am broke
but worst of all im on an island just waiting to get my ass kicked by the sort of pokemon you wouldnt even want the card of
i already got so many bites on me im just waiting to turn into the stupidest vampire ever
so anyway
im apparently on the sevii islands so if someone could help a bro out so i can get on with my mission id be really super grateful
[ Dave sends that all into the ether with a cringe hidden behind his sunglasses. He looks up at the sky, out towards the sand, and sits his ass down on a rock to wait. He looks at the band-aids all up and down his arms from the zubat run-in. He shudders to think what could have happened if it was that big rock snake one or that other snake one that was more snake looking. Maybe he should start boning up on his sorely lacking pokemon knowledge. ]
He's got very little money, a fresh starter that cannot even hope to stand up to even the most casual of encounters with whatever roided out zubat lay in wait for him. In fact, he's mostly just trying not to repeat that exact humiliating beating he took not twenty minutes ago. He sucks up his pride as he attempts to plan what he wants to say to everyone, but fails.
good morning everyone with a lick of sense
or at least maybe a couple people who actually played this game as a kid
seems ive woken up to a big bowl of cinnamon toast consequences
it seems i can no longer fly
and also i am broke
but worst of all im on an island just waiting to get my ass kicked by the sort of pokemon you wouldnt even want the card of
i already got so many bites on me im just waiting to turn into the stupidest vampire ever
so anyway
im apparently on the sevii islands so if someone could help a bro out so i can get on with my mission id be really super grateful
[ Dave sends that all into the ether with a cringe hidden behind his sunglasses. He looks up at the sky, out towards the sand, and sits his ass down on a rock to wait. He looks at the band-aids all up and down his arms from the zubat run-in. He shudders to think what could have happened if it was that big rock snake one or that other snake one that was more snake looking. Maybe he should start boning up on his sorely lacking pokemon knowledge. ]
[TEXT]
Do you know which one of them? What kind of pokemon or scenery is there? Some of the islands have towns on them, so you might be closer to some help than you think!
[TEXT]
this may come as a surprise to you
but there are a whole fucking lot of zubats
and i found them in a cave
and theres sand
and water
and thats it
so i guess i could swim and pray i dont get swept under like a trash bag full of last weeks hotdogs
[TEXT]
Is it only zubats? Nothing else? I think there's one place where people have only found zubats but... ...you'll definitely have to call for help if it's where I think...
[TEXT]
wait
what
do you know the caves around here by what all anime monsters are up in them
wait why did you trail off like that are you gonna tell me that im stuck on some scoobydoo island with a knife guy right up behind me
cuz that wouldnt ordinarily scare me i dont have my sword on me
[TEXT]
No I just looked it up. The problem is that you're probably really stranded. Not in danger, but pretty stranded. The fact that there's other pokemon at least means I can narrow it down- there's only one cave with pokemon other than zubat, that has sand- but it's still pretty isolated...
[TEXT]
lay it on me
i can handle it
but also id like to know exactly where im supposed to be
so i can never come back here
[TEXT]
The other problem is right in its name though...have you found any exits at all? If I were you, I'd be careful to find your way outside at the very least- people have spent weeks in there!
[TEXT]
yeah luckily for me i walked in and then right back out when i started bleeding all over the place
its a shit cave
they should call it shit cave
how are you gonna spend weeks in there
foraging on mushrooms and rattata or something
no subject
Well not the bleeding part actually...I hope you got it bandaged, but at least if you bleed out completely you'll wake up in a pokemon center?
Mostly you just spend it lost, apparently.
Text
Give me some precise coordinates, though, and I can swing by so we can see if it solves any others.
Text
i can tell you from exact direct firsthand experience
that it definitely no longer can or will solve any problems
but nevermind that
you apparently had us all bamboozled for 16 years
how is this you even
no subject
Anyway, I'm fine. For being trapped. You know me, I love being prisoner to inescapable circumstances. The longer it drags on, the better.
And speaking of being stuck... let's see those coordinates, man. I don't wanna get there and find you drawing faces on all your Pokeballs.
no subject
so that was cool and everything
anyway how old are you
ran into sorority girl jane a day ago
but you also sound like you know whats up
real quick rounding back to one of the worst days of my entire life
since were gonna be working together apparently
if you have any other really important info
like
something that would demystify a situation like that
dont leave that info with a smelly fucking clown
no subject
I knew it was possible, and I tried not to leave anything too important where she could interfere with it. But by that point, there was nothing else I could do for that timeline. Tick tock. You know how it is.
What's really offensive to me is that she used that fucking clown to do it.
But to answer your question, age has ceased to possess any capacity for meaning for me. I've been in Pokepurgatory for well over a year now, though, so basic math: I'm 24 or 25.
no subject
age is half of all i think about lately
since im like 38
i dont even know if im supposed to be hitting my midlife crisis or what
or if i hit it already
so...
i guess im the big bro now huh
ive got all this life experience burning a hole in my pocket
or not
is that weird
am i making it weird here
its fine i dont think i could actually make this any worse for real
i do appreciate knowing that the god damn clown wasnt your idea though
alright
anyway
heres those coordinates apparently
[ and a moment later a gps pin gets sent through to Dirk ]
no subject
Especially considering I'm about to use that expertise to heist your ass out of there. So sit tight and don't try to swim nowhere.
no subject
depends on how cool this rescue is gonna be
are you gonna pull out some sick three headed charizard and warp over here
then again i guess you are the expert of being stranded in the middle of a fuck load of water
and im otherwise fucked
just me and pikachu out here
gotta ask
if i die do i just end up at a save point or whatever
no subject
Death. It mostly doesn't exist. Or it does, but you're not allowed it.
You can try anyway, but I don't actually recommend it. You'll just wake up at the nearest Pokecentre with half your cash missing and a sudden cutoff in your memory.
What's interesting is that I have died before, but it was on a weekend like the one we just had. Didn't cost me anything but the rest of the weekend.
Weird, right?
Well, I have a theory about that.
I think that you never actually get to the 'dying' part. That what happens is something like John's power. You're retconned and deposited someplace safe, whether you like it or not.
We are, collectively, the Cumean Sibyl, our fate objectively worse than actual death.
P.S. Please tell me you don't actually have a Pikachu and still got your ass handed to you by Zubats. I know you just got here, but that's embarrassing.
no subject
looks like some shit taxidermy to be honest
its incredible
here let me send a selfie with it
[ he sends a customary deadpan expression selfie with pikachu, they're at head height with one another. ]
that is pretty nice i guess
someones looking out for you
retconning stuff
saving your hide
i dont go out of my way to die though so i dont mind waiting around anyway
unless i do have to start drinking my own piss
there are some coconuts too
but what do i do when i run out of those
you end up here in three months and my shirts all ripped at the midsection
so whats your eta so i can start figuring out whos gonna eat who first
no subject
Just look out, those things are as broken as the fourth wall on a good day.
Lucky for you, we won't be testing the retcon or your mettle against the big blue today, because I'm not gonna take three months.
Now, I can't give you an exact ETA because I don't control the weather.
It'll be a few hours, though, so get comfy. My four foot tall graveyard goth vulture only flies so fast.
1/2
it was just in the bag i showed up with
but i am both excited and fascinated by this big guys potential
lucky for the both of us it seems like someone is gonna bridge me over somewhere closer
actually i did not catch a name
one sec
no subject
armin arlert
no subject
That's unusual.
[Though whether it is better or worse than the 'mom' experience remains to be seen.
Armin almost asks which island but catches himself. Obviously, this guy isn't going to know.]
Can you describe the island?
Any identifying features or landmarks?
I'm in the same region as you, so I can bring you to the mainland
but I'll need to know what island to head towards.
no subject
anyway theres this cave full of poorly drawn ghosts and shitty bats
some sand
some water
uhh... theres some buildings off a ways if i walk to the far end
but im sure my bro will come get me so you dont need to trouble yourself or anything
no subject
(There is a woman there who seems convinced everyone who arrives in this world is her child. Even if you are older than her.
It's... very strange)
You showing up on an island is very unusual.
It's worth taking note of.
It wouldn't be a bother.
It's only a short trip for me.
I could bring you back to my gym and your brother can pick you up there?
I'm not sure where he lives, but it might take him a while to get to the Islands.
Pokemon can only go so fast, after all.
no subject
but then i got to flying around
but i guess no one told me that shit would break if i went out of bounds or something
uh i guess ill ask dirk how long itll take him and let you know
no subject
You arrived here during the weekend, didn't you?
I'm sorry, things aren't usually... that chaotic here.
(Though I guess for some, the chaos is acceptable as long as they have their powers back.)
[Armin doesn't (normally) have powers, so there is nothing but chaos for him. But he did get to be a gender-indiscriminate rock alien this weekend so that was nice.]
All right.
I can pick you up by air or by water, whichever you prefer.
no subject
and also in the air
also i forgot my swimsuit
but im not sure it was too much different for the likes of me
since my powers are pretty sick except when i end up stranding myself when theyre suddenly yoinked away
kinda icarusy minus the melting wing shtick
no subject
I'm leaving right now, so I should be there within half an hour at most.
I've got a pretty good idea of roughly where you are.
no subject
my bro told me hed be hours
so real quick before i gotta tell him i got in a car with a stranger
whats your name
im dave
and youll be able to tell me apart from the shrubs and wildlife by my camouflage jacket and sweet shades
no subject
Luckily, Dave is not left bereft and waiting for too long. From his description, Armin had a pretty good idea where he has to look for him, and with Amadeus' sharp eyesight it is not that difficult to spot one sick dude in sweet shades once they are near the island.
Amadeus the Noctowl lands a few feet away from Dave, Armin sliding off his back while tugging down a pair of simple flight goggles.
"Hi, are you Dave?"
no subject
"You never answered, by the way. Before I get on your huge sweet owl, who're you?"
The ironically named Pikachu ambles over to see what all the goddamn hubbub is about.
no subject
The accent doesn't ping anything for Armin, but that is because he had met Dirk only once. And he had been too busy getting almost run over and having fireworks tossed at his face to greatly notice the man's exact way of speaking.
Armin steps closer, holding out a hand. "I'm Armin Arlert. It's nice to meet you, Dave."
Though he does freeze in surprise for a moment when Pikachu ambles up. He's seen Nulls before. He's just never seen a new arrival with one. He thought only Silph Co. was able to create those.
"Ah. Is that the pokemon you were given?" His tone is definitely more than just curious, polite interest.
no subject
"Yeah dog, that's my starter. It's a perfectly normal pikachu as you can see. Regulation fins. Weird goddamn helmet with a standard axe up on the head. Mammalian, kinda."
The Type:Null makes an inquisitive growly sound and tilts his head at Armin. It doesn't seem to mind whatever Dave is saying.
no subject
Especially strangers like Dave. Who is completely new to this world, so he might genuinely not know? Maybe someone tried to trick him during that weird week?
"You... you are aware that is not an actual Pikachu, right?"
cw nsfw??
"And Mew is what I called my precious ass virginity," he says as he shakes his head and wipes away a nonexistent tear.
"I was saving it for a rainy day and a difficult fiscal situation."
"How will I ever recover?"
no subject
Because really, what do you say to that? No part of Armin was build to handle Strider Bullshit, and yet here he is, handling Strider Bullshit.
At least, he's pretty sure (98%) the guy is taking the piss, but that doesn't get him any further with coming up with a good reply.
"uh... we should probably fly back to my gym." Change the subject. It is safer! "We wouldn't want to leave your brother waiting."
Even though he is not even going to arrive for hours still. Please, just let him avoid talking about Dave's virginity, ass or otherwise, thank you very much.