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victory_road2020-12-20 03:54 am
indigo_league) wrote in victory_road2020-12-20 03:54 am
How Team Rocket stole Christmas...
All the Rockets were working, putting their plans into place...
Just because there has been an absence of huge heists and explosions, doesn't mean Team Rocket has taken some time off from crime for the holidays. Everything but, in fact!
Under the eye of Jennies and gym leaders everywhere, Team Rocket has been putting their new dastardly plans into action by replacing every mall Santa and Elf (and boy, are there a lot of mall Santas and Elves this time of year!) with their own grunts and privates. Their goal? To scope out all the malls, shopping districts, and shopping centers in the two regions in preparation for the Saturday before Christmas, which just so happens to be the biggest shopping day of the year. No other day in the year has stores just so absolutely glutted with cash and valuables, registers and store safes overflowing with money. Plus there is all that yet unsold merchandise. Really, it just begs for someone to come and steal it.
Doing so would be the heist of the year, the talk of the season and who else but Team Rocket would be able to pull it off?
Of course, being that this is Team Rocket, they cannot help but want both the fortune and the fame. (Or is that infamy?) When you go big, you gotta go loud, and that is exactly what Team Rocket plans to do right at the biggest, busiest, most valuable market of them all: The Goldenrod City Christmas Market.
(Plus if everybody's attention is drawn to Goldenrod City where they've stationed their best and brightest, all the other Rocket members across the two regions will certainly be able to get away with their far more silent dastardly deeds with that much more ease)
Even among Christmas Markets, The Goldenrod City Christmas Markets is something special. There is no market more festive or more beautifully decorated. Winding through a part of town (having outgrown its old stadium home), the various stalls and shops sell valuables that cannot be bought anywhere else; valuable TMs, precious held items, even items like fossils and gems, Goldenrod has it all.
And soon. Team Rocket will have it all.
If a series of people in balaclava masks, heavy coats, and warm hats begin to filter into the Christmas Market as the evening wears on… well, it is the biggest shopping day of the year. And with the December chill nipping at everybody's noses and ears, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be warm while you shop… right?
Towards the end of the evening, as shoppers slowly start leaving for home, their wallets a lot lighter than when they arrived, the various intercoms that have been playing non-stop Christmas music for the last few weeks suddenly cut out with a strangle crackle. The bright and merry Christmas lights suddenly cut out, leaving the market flooded in darkness.
What's happening? A power outage? Did someone forget to pay the power bill?
But no, it's worse. Much worse.
… and make it double...
You better watch out
We’re making you cry
Don’t make us shout
We’re telling you why
Team Rocket is coming to town!”
Dozens upon dozens upon dozens of warmly dressed market-goers suddenly throw off their coats, balaclavas and hats, revealing their Team Rocket uniforms underneath! The lights come back on again, but unlike the cheery twinkling of before, they are all a harsh red now.
Red like the Rocket R that has suddenly appeared everywhere. Even as many of the Rockets are swooping in to steal every TM, battle item, and cashbox that isn’t nailed down, other Rockets are putting Team Rocket’s mark on their surroundings: banners with the Rocket R (which had been hidden very cleverly within other decorations) are suddenly unfurled while the speakers blare something that is definitely not Christmas music. Even the large Christmas Tree at the centre of the market is a target, as a few grunts use their Psychic pokemon to tear the delicate beautiful ornaments of the tree, replacing them with the Rocket symbol.
And while there are always some guards and Jennies at the market, they are quickly surrounded by Rocket privates who deal with them with almost terrifying precision. It's as if they knew exactly what pokemon these Jennies were going to bring and made sure to tailor their teams to that.
With the Jennies dealt with, the chaos is complete. Who can help us now?
And as Goldenrod descends into Rocket chaos, all those who remained at home or who are out on the road will be treated to a very unusual visitor.
His arrival is heralded by the sound of sleigh bells, growing ever closer until suddenly you can spot it: a sleigh. And not just any sleigh. It’s the same sleigh you must have seen over and over in the past few weeks, gracing every advertisement, window display and Christmas decoration. It’s pulled by a singular Stantler which dashes through the air, its hooves skimming the clouds as it guides the sleigh lower and lower until it touches down onto the ground in front of your character (or, should you be inside, onto the roof). The single occupant of the sleigh rises, a massive red-clad man with an equally massive beard, and it is him, the OG (Original Gift-maker).
Santa’s jolly face is uncharacteristically serious as he extends a thickly gloved hand, his voice lacking its normal grandfatherly cheer.
Won’t you help me fight tonight?”
Event FAQ
What if my character does not want to help Santa?
Santa will understand. He'll look a little sad, but he will understand. He will depart, though he will give characters a candy cane before he goes.
Wait, is Santa giving us a lift to Goldenrod, then?
Yep! He can do that for everyone at the same time, because Santa is magic like that.
My character wants to help Santa, but they are not a fighter!
Not to worry! Even if your character is not a fighter, Santa can really use their help. You see, today Santa isn't just carting around gifts in his sleigh -- a quick reach into his sack will reveal First Aid kits and potion packs.
For anyone who wants to help out, but who aren't good at fighting, Santa would really appreciate it if they would be willing to help support others who are doing the fighting, and help heal any of the pokemon or people who may have gotten hurt by Team Rocket's shenanigans.
My character wants to help Santa and is willing to fight, but they don’t have any high level pokemon!
Worry not! Santa will provide! For everyone who wants to fight, but only has low-level pokemon, Santa will lend out two (2) of his little helpers: a Jynx in a fur-lined red dress and a Shiny Galar Zigzagoon (adorably candy-striped in red and white.) Both Pokemon are Level 60. Sadly, these are just on loan and Santa will need them back when the fight is over, but they will pose for selfies with you on request.
What about the non-Goldenrod locations? Is Santa sending anyone to fight off the Rocket operatives there?
They’re being taken care of by the Pokemon League, Gym Leaders, and all kinds of trainers from this world. Which doesn’t mean Team Rocket won’t steal some of what they’re aiming for anyway. It just means the other locations won’t be completely defenseless.
I have a Rocket character. Where are they supposed to be during this?
At the Christmas Market, of course! They’re one of the ‘best and the brightest.’
Wait, so when Team Rocket says they’re ‘stealing Christmas’ what they actually mean is that they’re robbing a bunch of places at once on the biggest shopping day of the year and taking over the Christmas Market?
Well, yeah. Did you think they were gonna go the Full Grinch? Nah. Raiding the cashboxes is way more profitable.
So, uh, how are we getting home again?
Time to walk-- No, no. Santa wouldn't do that to people. After everything has been dealt with, he'll give people a lift back to where he picked them up. Unless they'd much rather remain in Goldenrod City, in which case, that is fine too.
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That's going to be a problem.
The candy cane strike, at least, is not. Claude's fresh from a war in which people swung real, lethal, and much more aerodynamic weapons at him. He jumps over its swing and backwards at the same time, out of reach of an immediate follow-up swipe, and half expects to fall on his ass for it - only to find that, huh, Rocket boots have better traction on smooth floors than he expected. The kind of traction he'd expect from more practical footwear, in fact. Do their operatives really jump around in these?
Well, thoughts for another time. The candy cane threat has been dodged
because Claude has high AVD, but that charging pokémon is still a very real threat. Claude's hand drops to his belt, and his Pokéballs, almost before his feet have touched ground again. "Obstruct!" he calls out desperately, almost before the Obstagoon has even appeared.It's a damn good thing Claude's as hungry for knowledge as he is. He'd be in a lot more of a bind if he hadn't read up on what this thing could do before running off on this self-appointed mission.
Fortunately, Santa's pokémon appears to have been paying attention. The shiny Obstagoon appears ready to roadblock, and Talus will get skillfully deflected - at least for the moment.
Despite a decent Hail Mary play and a dodge that's not all that impressive considering Dirk is using perhaps the worst weapon on earth, Claude is anything but happy with his position. He hadn't wanted to engage with anyone here, and he doesn't know what he's up against. He's bought himself a few seconds, but he's still at a disadvantage - especially since this guy could call for Rocket backup at any moment, and Claude's got a feeling his little ruse will be punished with extreme prejudice if he gets himself surrounded.
And that's assuming this one guy won't be biting off more than he can chew all on his own.
"Should I be flattered you're implying you needed omniscience to catch me?" he asks, with his cockiest smile. Try to get him talking anyway. Don't let him see you sweat. Watch for the next move. There's no plans now; the future is too immediate. There's just judgment calls, moment by moment.
He'd be exhilarated, if he didn't have a team of pokémon he's gotten deeply fond of to consider.
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"Nah," he quips, advancing without slowing for even a second. He wields the red-and-white painted wood less like a cane and more like a two-handed sword; the instant he pulls it back from the low sweep, he's stepping to the flank not covered by Obstagoon and it's back in both hands. He swings it at the diagonal--so that theoretically, it could catch Claude by the neck or shoulder.
"But use it if you got it, am I right?" The metal-headed jingle-chimera produces a horrific screeching of steel to punctuate his statement, slicing the air with its birdlike claws to keep Claude's Obstagoon off-balance.
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As he sees Dirk winding up for that swing, his mind flips through a couple possibilities. Sweeping the man's legs might work...but there's a chance the guy will dodge it completely, and it leaves Claude in a compromised position with fewer options. No, not the answer.
But, unlike a lot of opponents Claude's fought over the past five years or so...Dirk's not armored. Furthermore, the weapon he's got is basically just a big, heavy stick - it's for bludgeoning. It needs weight and momentum and room to wind up to do real damage. And it, very conspicuously, doesn't have a whole lot in the way of sharp edges. Claude...may actually be in less danger if he moves in closer, despite normally wanting all the distance he can get from an opponent in a fight.
It's not like he has a bow or anything here, so he supposes he's exactly as useful up close as he is from afar here.
The calculations are made and his course of action decided on as the candy cane starts whipping around, and Claude doesn't waste another fraction of a second. He lunges in towards Dirk, turning his body to the side to drive the hardest part of his shoulder into Dirk's chest, on the same side he's swinging the candy cane from.
For someone who's shorter than Claude...this doesn't throw him off nearly as much as one might expect, which only partially surprises Claude. He's known smaller guys with dense musculature(Caspar comes to mind), and seeing Dirk casually swinging around a candy cane probably as tall as they are (and, judging by the speed of its swings and just the sound of it slicing through the air, has some weight to it) suggests the guy's got some upper body mass to throw around. That's fine; Claude didn't necessarily base this plan on sending him sprawling. He's hoping to have knocked the wind out of him, maybe throw him off-balance...and in a way, his not moving much is a benefit.
It means Claude, having braced himself for impact and now right in front of him, can kick at the back of one of the man's legs, trying to help along that whole 'off-balance' initiative.
The Obstagoon, left to his own devices, snarls and shakes its head at that terrible screech, angrily clashing its claws together.
The AI on auto-battles apparently isn't too good.But then a grunt from Claude - who hasn't entirely escaped being winded himself after that impact - catches its attention."Counter."
Obstagoon takes that slash from Talus...but, at Claude's instructions, promptly launches itself forwarde to pay the Type:Null back with interest.
Honestly, Counter is a gamble on Claude's part; it's pretty conditional. Claude's not able to watch the pokémon battle right now, engaged in a fight of his own, so he can't even gauge if physical moves are being used, and he's got no idea what type this mystery pokémon is either. (It at least doesn't look like a ghost, so it's probably not immune...) But Claude's been afraid that his team may be facing pokémon way over their own levels ever since arriving, and he's been considering all the possible ways to stack the odds for himself and his team. If Obstagoon manages to tank the hits it's taking, Claude hopes, then Counter will be a way to potentially score a knock-out that no other move could make on a higher level pokémon.
And if Obstagoon can't tank the hits, then it's all a moot point.It was a gamble play he'd been considering making with Obstagoon ever since he'd learned of the possibility, long before encountering Dirk, so thankfully he doesn't need to think up the idea while he's so distracted - he just needs to fall back on a plan he'd already had.no subject
He was, unfortunately, wrong.
When first he spots the guy in the ostentatious Santa disguise confronting Claude, he's just focused on getting closer. Wooden sword in hand and Honedge by his side, he dashes through the chaos with the same ease that he dashes through battlefields. By the time he gets close enough to see that Claude is for some reason getting into a physical fight with this Rocket--up close without a weapon, which is definitely not where an archer ought to be--he's also close enough to see the way the skirt clings to a pair of powerful thighs and--Goddess above, no.
Fortunately, Felix is very good at tuning out distractions in a fight. So he's fully focused when he runs up behind the Santa in an attempt to jab him in the side with this pathetic excuse for a weapon he's got, then immediately ducks to weave back to a safer distance.]
What the hell are you doing? [To Claude, as he scowls and brings the sword up into a well-practiced defensive position.]
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Because Dirk has fought a lot of inexperienced, ineffective, or straight up inept enemies his life for a variety of reasons, though, his expectations for what Claude will do next range from a reasonably competent parry to crumpling like a house of cards to attempted lethality. Which would be fine, except that the limitations of his current existence mean that he can really only prepare for one or two of these strategies, and none of the priority counters are meant for 'desperation bullrush.'
He has enough time, at least, to brace his weight and only take a half step back instead of a full stagger, but at this close range, he has no chance to dodge the leg sweep properly.
This turns out to be fine, though. Flanked by a second opponent, Dirk does the best he can do in a pinch: he swings the cane down, reflexively moving to parry the weapon he only just barely had a chance to see and lets his ass hit the ground, using his momentum to tuck up and roll instead of just eating shit on the nasty market pavement. He's on his feet again in seconds, and rushing the new guy with his heavy (candy) canekind like Claude never mattered at all.
Unfortunately for Claude and his Obstagoon, though, Air Slash is not a physical attack. Striking back at the air with twice the force as it was struck by said air still only strikes the air. In other words:
Obstagoon used Counter!
But it failed!
Given an opening, the jingly-helmeted chimera beast does the actual smart thing: crosses its claws and rushes the Obstagoon for a super-effective X Scissor.
Shit, it's almost like this Santa knows what he's doing.
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The X-Scissor alone might not have been enough to KO a rather tanky Obstagoon, especially when it's a higher level than Talus...but combined with the previous two hits, it's enough. The Obstagoon slumps, vanishing back into its Pokéball in a flash of red light.
Claude would really be in trouble here...except, suddenly, he's not alone. He's relieved for himself to see Felix, and...while mildly worried for him, in the sense that he's worried about a friend being in combat and especially because he might get in trouble on his behalf, he can't feel as though this Santa can pose a real threat to Felix. Felix is too good a swordsman for some improvised candy cane weapon to hold up against him, no matter how well someone wields it.
That mystery pokémon, though...that could be a concern, especially since it evidently has no compunctions about attacking people. So Claude's not about to let it have the chance.
He pulls out another Pokéball - the other one Santa lent him. Jynx comes out, in all her questionable glory.
Claude wastes no time. She's not as hardy as Obstagoon, he knows, so he needs to make sure he can take this pokémon out of the picture no matter what, as soon as possible. "Perish Song!"
Only then does he spare a glance at Felix, giving him a manic smile. "Improvising!" he answers brightly. "Badly!"
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Very badly.
But that's all there's time for, because Santa is charging at him, and oh...he's missed this. Peace and quiet are nice and all, but Felix was born to be on a battlefield. The chance to duel someone at least marginally competent and actually willing to fight with...something like a sword? Good enough for now.
It might be a surprise to Dirk to find that wielding a longer, heavier weapon with better reach is actually kind of an advantage for Felix here, because he's spent a lifetime mastering techniques to best lancers. The candy cane isn't exactly a lance, but it's close enough that Felix's experience with dodging and weaving to get in close is plenty relevant.
I take it you're one of these bandits, then?
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His Ascension, however, has.... expanded his palette, as many forms of growth (or "growth") are prone to do. It's just that 'palette' here means 'affinity for and expertise with weapons of varying lethality' and not 'a fondness for broccoli.' And also that the dual nature of many such items in his universe, one affinity begets another.
Which is a lot of unnecessary hotlinking to explain that Dirk is good at canes now. Don't worry about it. What Felix should worry about is the fact that lances are a totally different thing, used by people who want to stab things, but only in one really limited kind of way. Dirk's more into the slicing deal, or the sniping one, or (failing either of those) at the very least something more creative than running directly at his opponent and hoping for the best.
And he's more than happy to have the guy close this gap.
"Banditry is a pretty generous term for what's happening here," he replies drolly before swinging back with the can--way behind him--and backflips up onto a table that was at one point covered in incenses and other battle items. He swings the wooden candy cane forward, low, to connect with one of the stone pots and smack it into flight--aiming for Felix's face.
"This is a smash 'n grab, plain and simple."
Behind Felix, Talus is... well, it's hard to say what Talus is feeling, because its entire head is locked into a copper prison that jingles merrily with every movement. It's not looking too fazed by Jynx, though, or her Perish Song.
Maybe because Iron Head is super effective against Ice types.... and it sounds super festive with all those bells!
no subject
However, as it turns out...Santa didn't raise no quitter. Claude's own Jynx weathers the blow, hurting but not out yet; Claude's got a chance for another move. He decides to go with her strongest; he doesn't expect her to last, regrettably, but at least if she does enough damage then maybe Sicily can come clean up easily. Therefore, the maximum damage she can inflict is the best option.
Besides, Sylvain's Jynx nailed Sturm in a single hit with Blizzard. Time to make pull similar weight in Claude's favor.
"Blizzard!"
The Jynx shrugs off the blow, not flinching even in the face of that much damage. Then she gathers a ball of icy energy in her hands before unleashing it at Talus, with prejudice.
Claude was hoping (if not precisely expecting, because Blizzard isn't exactly a precise move from his research) that it would hit, and it does. But he wasn't even hoping for the Type:Null to become encased in ice the way it does, and his eyes widen.
That was...certainly a fortuitous string of events.
Caused by RNG flipping the bird very specifically to Dirk Strider, three times in a row.no subject
"That's what bandits do, you idiot."
Felix reaches the table and kicks it over without pause, using the momentum of his kick to propel himself upward so he can spin in midair and come down sword-first--hopefully landing with a solid, gravity-assisted blow to Bandit Santa, who will hopefully be prone by then.
no subject
"Well, that didn't work."
Dirk is slightly distracted by the genuinely impressive series of statistical blunders that have turned his Type:Null into an chimeracicle; it's very possible, he admits to himself, that this is a mechanical facet of the game environment. That the improbability was weighted against him because of the specific antagonism of the role he's adopted for this event.
It is also completely possible that a series of unlikely independent events all rolled against his favour.
In any case, he has a choice to make, and he has picoseconds in which to make it: deal with that, or deal with the upending and collapse of the table he's standing on--and with that, the nuisance player doing it.
With no time to think about it, he takes the L and lets the table take him down with it, recalling his pet block of ice and smacking the button of a Pokeball off his belt at random--he doesn't even have the time to see what shape it takes before he's on his back in the pungent wreckage of a dozen perfumed oils and burning powders.
Which is a shame, because Claude is greeted by the underwhelming sight of a fat, bug-eyed rodent that manages to look lost in the chaos for like two entire seconds before she hisses wet spittle and hate at him.
And her coat hasn't even turned purple yet, nor her eyes crimson.
Dirk's Morpeko is just Like That.
And as her sparks begin to take the form of a huge, crackling wheel, her tiny legs pumping faster and faster as it spins--
Dirk snaps the cane up to block the downward slash of Felix's sword, using both hands to brace the heavy wood and take the blow.
"Who's the fucking idiot here," he grits the words out between his teeth, but there's an arrogant quirk to the corner of his mouth.
"When this isn't actually real."
The instant that Felix's feet touch ground, Dirk kicks forward with both legs, hoping to catch his opponent in the legs or midriff before he has a chance to dodge.
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Unfortunately, hurt as she already was...Claude doesn't know, immediately, just how outclassed he and all the pokémon at his disposal are. That's why he promptly sends out Felix's Jynx, thinking maybe she'll be able to stand up against this admittedly tiny pokémon. Maybe it's unevolved. Maybe it's weak.
Claude doesn't want to take any chances.
"Perish Song!" he instructs, and Jynx promptly begins to sing her heart out.
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...well, less good when Felix is on the receiving end of it right this second, grunting as Santa's feet connect and send him stumbling to a knee. Without pausing even to think, Felix drops and rolls to present as small and mobile a target as possible while he regains his footing. This does unfortunately give Santa the opportunity to do the same, but Felix's weapon (such as it is) is up and ready again immediately.
"What nonsense are you spouting now?"
But Felix knows that staying still or getting distracted on the battlefield means death (or at least, a heavy wooden candy cane to the face), so he's already moving by the time the words leave his mouth, advancing in a flurry of concentrated strikes designed to drive the opponent back and overwhelm him.
no subject
She starts to run in place again, and the wheel looks the same.... but..............
Well, let's just cut to Dirk and Felix, that's probably going better, right?
...it certainly can't go much worse, let's be real about that.
Getting his feet back was most of what Dirk wanted out of that little skirmish, though, and at least as far as that's concerned, he's successful. He's a little... over the top about it, though, leaping up and curling himself in to do a tight, balled-up double backflip onto his feet, cane ready in one hand--which quickly becomes two, as he uses it to parry Felix's assault, and not a second too soon.
"What nonsense are you defending?" he asks, although he's looking for an opening. Any one, anywhere. Just enough to push Felix back again, get the momentum in his favour--whatever that takes.
no subject
Oh, no.
This is...exactly the scenario he'd feared. His team coming up against a pokémon far beyond their capabilities. Jynx is stronger than the rest of his team by at least ten levels - and those are the strongest members of his team. He's got significantly weaker pokémon than that, too.
And what is he supposed to do now? Just...send them out against this opponent they can't possibly win against? Let them be hurt for the sake of accomplishing nothing? Watching Sturm go down to Sylvain's Jynx had been painful. He can't imagine watching the rest of them get wiped out like that, with their standing even less of a chance.
But at the same time...what are his other options? This guy's pokémon have shown no compunctions about attacking him, if he doesn't have one of his team standing in the way. And he could run...but Felix is still there, fighting this angry hamster's trainer. If it didn't chase him...if it turned on Felix instead...how would he live with himself? Even if Felix came out okay, he'd be one hell of a coward, and he's not sure Felix would forgive that.
There has to be something else he can do. If Obstagoon hadn't already gone down, he could use Obstruct to stall for at least a moment, maybe give Perish Song time to work...but he can't bear to bring himself to run out the time throwing his team into what amounts to a small, angry meat grinder. It might work, but he'd feel like a monster.
But...maybe that isn't the only way to stall.
The idea sparks, and his hand goes for his belt. If this doesn't work...I'm so sorry. But it's our last, best chance. "Come on out, Basque," he calls, voice soft, pressing the button on her PokéBall.
Basque the Vivillon emerges from her ball, looking as bright and happy as always. Even when she sees the world's most murderous rodent is her opponent, she doesn't seem fazed - possibly because she doesn't know how much trouble she's in.
Claude hopes she never gets the chance to find out. "Sleep Powder!"
Basque promptly shakes her wings, a soft powder showering off them. Then, with some hard flaps, she blows that powder directly into Calamity's face. And Claude can't help his heavy sigh of relief when the Morpeko's eyelids sag shut.
Now, if only she stays down long enough for Perish Song to take effect...this could actually work.
no subject
His. I thought everyone in this world was too nice to have their Pokemon attack people.
[Felix will give this guy one thing--he's fast and skilled enough to parry this flurry, and that's far from nothing. Still, he seems a bit rough around the edges. Definitely not a trained soldier.
Unfortunately for Felix, that means that Bad Santa is likely to do rather unorthodox things that Felix usually doesn't have to face because most of the people he's been fighting for the past five years were trained soldiers. So once Dirk has proven he isn't as overwhelmed by the assault as planned, Felix transitions smoothly to another form and another maneuver...which is designed to counter certain techniques on an opponent's part, ones that most swordsmen would use in this situation.
Bad Santa is not most swordsmen.]
I wrote this in brackets before I realised...... but it's funny so you get one (1) first person tag
Fuck.]
We're not all Kansas natives, Captain Fyter. But if that's the hill you want to die on, don't let me stand in your way. Or rather... do.
[Yes, I know my taunt sounded lame once it came out of my mouth, but 'Captain Fyter the Tin Soldier' is a reference to the Oz stories, it went with the Kansas thing, I am kind of up to my eyeballs in problems here and I don't have time to worry about the nuances of this guy's interaction with me as a strictly non-textual experience.
The thing is, this cane-vs-sword match is not working out very well, in part because he doesn't have an edge and I can't turn this cane into a gun. The real issue, though, is he's got that Dersite army polish, and that's a pain. Both because I don't use those double-edged Western swords and because I can't just slice through his sword with mine or whatever. I'm just going to have to get creative. When he predicts some kind of move I'm not even trying to do, I hop back and right as I say the word 'do'--I try a kickflip to catch his wooden 'blade' and knock it out of his hands.
...admittedly, the heavy, floor-length Santa robes aren't helping, but.... it's the only not-stupid thing I can think of right now.]
I will continue holding down the prose fort just because
(Actually...he pulls out his Gear for a moment, aiming it at the sleeping pokémon. Okay, so that thing's a Morpeko. Now that things aren't second-to-second frantic, he's actually able to identify his team's opponents...)
He's about to recall Basque, just to make sure she'll be safe...and then he pauses.
While she's free to act, and her opponent is out...Felix and the fake Santa are still fighting. Claude (and Basque) can do something about that now.
He suspects Felix won't thank him for interfering with a fight he's having. Felix loves swordfights, after all, and while that...isn't exactly what's happening here, it's still probably the closest Felix has gotten since they arrived. More than that, he's sure Felix might be insulted at the implication that he needed backup in a swordfight.
That isn't really Claude's first concern, though, and he overrides those considerations. If Claude loses the pokémon battle on his side, then he knows this Santa isn't afraid to send his pokémon at people, whether they have pokémon of their own to fight or not. That weird griffin thing had come for Claude right away, after all, before he'd had a single pokémon out of its ball. So either Santa will send his victorious pokémon after Claude, or they might turn on Felix...or both. Who says those things have to be mutually exclusive? So Claude can't afford to take those risks for either of them just for the price of keeping Felix happy in the short-term.
Fortunately, the two of them currently have a bit of space between them. Claude thinks he can have Basque attack without too much risk of hitting Felix, even without forewarning. (Which he can't afford to give, since Pseudo Santa's reflexes seem more than good enough to get him out of the way of anything he hears Claude warning Felix about.)
"Basque!" he calls. When she turns to look at him, he sweeps his arm towards Bad Santa. "Stun Spore, now!"
She trills in acknowledgment, turning towards the two fighters as she shivers more powder off her wings before flapping it straight in their direction. Unfortunately...the attack is rather less accurate than Claude had hoped. Or, well, accuracy isn't so much the problem. He sees, immediately, that the spores settle on Santa all right. The problem is that the spread is a lot broader than he'd expected it to be. He's not sure if Felix had started moving in again, if Basque had just aimed wrong, or if there's no real way to really direct the scatter of windblown spores, but...he sees them settle on Felix, too.
"Shit," he mutters. Well, he supposes if they're both affected, it doesn't really matter too much...aside from Felix being really annoyed until (and, let's face it, probably for a bit after) he grabs a Paralysis Heal.
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But this is far from the first time Felix has been disarmed in battle. Normally he carries multiple swords, and normally he can rely on magic; neither is feasible here, but there's a reason he's also studied unarmed combat.
Even as he hears Claude command his butterfly to do something, he's moving forward the second he loses his grip on the blade, ducking low under the inevitable swing of the candy cane to bring one foot down on the hem of the long, heavy robe his opponent wears and--
--well, he was going to come up into an elbow to the throat and trip Bandit Santa with his own clothes. (Who wears long robes like that to a melee? Come on, Santa, really?) But as Felix twists and brings his arms in close to his chest, preparing to strike, he stumbles. Every muscle in his body seizes at once and he falls to his knees with a strangled-sounding curse.
...Stun Spore. That's what Claude was saying.
"What the...fuck, Claude!?" Battle instincts are screaming at him to get away, to retrieve his weapon, but all he can manage is to hunch his shoulders in a pathetic attempt to shield himself. He can't move. He's a sitting duck, and even as he tries to convince his pounding heart that he's probably not in any mortal danger yet, his blood and his bones know that to stop moving means death.
If they're lucky, Bandit Santa will be down for the count too, and Claude can end this. If not...