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[woofdad]

[Grant looks about as nervous as he does hyped-up when the camera turns on; he’s clearly on the road, judging by the thick, snow-covered foliage of a forest behind him.]

So-- okay, I get that I am, I guess, “supposed” to be breeding Pokemon here, but… admittedly, that seems like sort of a daunting prospect? I wasn’t really sure how to go about it, or if I’d be able to handle baby Pokemon. However: That egg hatched.

[You know, the egg that he, like so many, was unexpectedly provided by reality itself. He re-angles the camera to show that he’s sitting on a boulder (with the snow carefully brushed off of it ahead of time), and flopped across his lap is what looks to be a fairly newly-hatched shiny Furfrou, mouthing idly at a corner of his coat that it’s holding between its black paws.]

I changed my mind, apparently I’m going to be raising this guy anyway, so I want to know whatever I can so I can try the whole Pokemon breeding thing after all. I have that book that came with the egg, and I know I’m… probably going to need more male Pokemon, since I’ve mostly got girls right now. But, if anyone’s got any further advice for a new Breeder, I’d really appreciate it.

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[zukeini]

[Greetings Grant. There was a grown ass man also here and he had a baby strapped to his chest in a carrier. The baby was a shiny Toxel, and she was having a mini fit as Zuke turned on the camera and paid attention to anyone else but her right now.]

Easy, May...easy, come on, I'm making you food just-hang on.

[There was a pot of something bubbling and while Zuke had the camera on, he was throwing some chopped carrots in.]

Grant? You there? Hey, yeah, uh...breeding, huh? You too?

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[woofdad]

[Oh that is another baby. Grant cannot, and does not try to, hide his sheer delight as Zuke works on feeding the fussy little Toxel.]

Apparently! Is she from your egg?

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[zukeini]

Oh, her? This little critter?

[YES THIS LITTLE CRITTER. Once May knew she was being paid attention to, she flailed her arms and giggled. Now two people are paying attention to her!]

Sure is. These little guys we got are special, you know? Bunch of trainers called them “shinies”. Breeder talk means they have special genes from down many lines.

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[woofdad]

I'd known their colorations were pretty rare, but not the terminology - makes sense, though, that it'd be genetic! Do you know if it's the product of a natural mutation, or something done to the Pokemons' genes somewhere along the line?

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[zukeini]

From what I learned...its got a lot to do with genes and actual Pokemon stats. Kind of a mixture from what I know, but I could be wrong on that.

I guess it’s like us, we could have a melting pot of genes and look different from our parents even though we got those genes from them.

But she’s cute and that’s what matters.

[schachmeister]

It is pretty daunting. I switched to being a breeder more than a year ago and I still there is a lot I don't understand yet.

[Though, in all fairness, most of Armin's breeding had been related to his lapras project, which means he hadn't needed to care too much about movesets and the like.]

As a beginning breeder -- well, there are some books I can recommend. You should be able to find them at the nearest library. That and this.

[He pans his gear down to record... a mug?? It looks like a very ordinary mug. Exactly like the mug standing next to it and-- WAIT, DID THAT FUCKING MUG JUST BLINK??]

[woofdad]

I'll check that out next time we're in a town, then... should be reaching Goldenrod in a few days, so I can check for libraries there.

[A... mug-- OH. OH A MUG WITH EYES. Grant's eye goes wide and he peers down at his Gear as if watching it will explain anything.] Hang on, what is that?

[schachmeister]

This is Ditto.

[Armin keeps recording the 'mug', his hand passing into view to give the object a light nudge.]

Go on, show yourself. You can go back into the cupboard after, all right?

[The 'mug' gives another blink, before it suddenly dissolved into a weird... pink... putty? Blob? Creature?]

This is Ditto, the breeder's best friend.

[woofdad]

[That's... kind of cute?? Grant's eye brightens a little further with interest as he watches the weird little animal.]

That is really neat - I take it their shapeshifting impacts the breeding process?

[schachmeister]

That's right. They can turn into any pokemon, so they can really help you out if you do not have another pokemon in a compatible egg-group. They are also the only way you can breed genderless pokemon.

Plus, if you breed with a Ditto, you will know for sure what species the eggs will be. You won't have the benefit of egg-moves, but sometimes getting the right species is more important.

[Say, if you are running some sort of breeding program.]

[ohmylord]

One thing you really want to do, even though it's gonna feel way too much like homework, is draw a chart of all your pokemon where you label their egg groups and then match up which are in which. That's what the old couple at the Daycare helped me do and it really was super useful.

The other thing you're gonna want to do is to catch a Ditto! They're really helpful. I just sent Kiri my old one, Copycat, 'cause I got an egg with a shiny one inside!

[woofdad]

Oh, yeah? So that's what that "egg group" bit in the Dex is about, then...

...Don't know what it says about me that that actually sounds kind of fun. [Probably that he's hit true Boring Math Dad status.]

I'm definitely hearing that about Ditto... I guess that's gonna have to go on my to-do list, then. Congrats on the shiny, by the way!

[ohmylord]

Yeah! If they're not in the same egg group, they can't have eggs.

[She looks resigned at his next statement.] I think it says that you're old.

But thank you! I'm very happy with them. Now I just need to give them a name...

[woofdad]

I see... alright, I'll make sure to get on that, then!

[Oh, ouch. He kind of makes a face, though he honestly can't be too bothered.] I walked into that, didn't I?

Hm... yeah, names can be tough. What color are shiny Dittos?

[ohmylord]

Blue! My old Ditto was named Copycat, but it feels weird to use the same name.

[seacub]

More male pokemon....

...I could probably lend you some pokemon to try and get male eggs..? I helped someone else before with that, and it makes things easier than trying to look in the wild...

[woofdad]

Oh, that would be really helpful, if you're willing... I've definitely been trying to look out for males when I'm out and about, but... I mean, obviously you can't always tell at a glance, huh.

[seacub]

Of course!

But yeah it's something you can only really tell after you catch them normally...

...I would just have to know what egg group you need, anyway. Field is the easiest!

[woofdad]

Hm... honestly, I haven't thought a whole lot yet about what species I want to try breeding for first - but I can let you know once I've made a more solid decision there? Someone suggested I make a chart of my current Pokemons' egg types, too, so I should get that done.

[seacub]

That works!

Some pokemon go in two groups, so they can overlap pretty easy...so hopefully there'll be a lot of options after that.

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[meteorman]

I would highly recommend looking beyond the pokedex and the basic breeder's guide. The Ideal Egg is a textbook with much more detail; I would start there.

I've been a breeder for over four years now so I can likely answer your questions. Except, ironically, how it works. I have theories but no one has ever actually observed the process. All we have is conjecture.

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[woofdad]

The Ideal Egg... Got it. [There's a quiet scratching sound as he writes that down.]

Really? So, we know... which Pokemon can reproduce, and all that kinda thing, but not how it... actually works?

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[meteorman]

Nope!

[He doesn't seem bothered by this at all.]

Unsurprisingly, beings of human-level intelligence aren't so keen on having an audience. Though to be frank I don't think they reproduce physically to begin with, or else the ability to interbreed across species would be far more limited. Did you know that Skitty and Wailord are able to breed successfully?

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[woofdad]

That does make sense-- [Hang on, what can interbreed.]

...Wow. Okay, yeah, there's got to be something else to it, then - I know that where I'm from, it's possible for beings from different planes of reality, with different physical makeups, to interbreed, so maybe the workings of Pokemon breeding are similar to how that's possible?

Not that that answers very much, since we... don't really know how interplanar reproduction works, either.

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[meteorman]

My working theory is that Pokémon are not many separate species that can interbreed but rather that each 'egg group' is one species of energy-based being that expresses its unique genetics in wildly varying ways. Think of how a great dane and a chihuahua are both dogs, only imagine that the possible variation is on a much greater scale.

The egg is less a literal egg and more of a natal evolutionary form. What happens when a Pokémon hatches? A burst of energy, much the same as when a Pokémon evolves. This explains how Pokémon can hatch from eggs far too small to contain them.

Of course this is just a theory but thus-far nobody else has produced anything better.

[Not that he's biased at all.]