victory_road | [video]

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Okay. So. I'm usually pretty good at nicknames for people and pokemon. Sometimes it takes me a little while, but I settle on something good and/or hilarious.

I feel like I need a little help with this one. C'mere. [An eye floats into screen, then darts back. Church gestures again for it to come. And then he gets up, apparently grabs it, and sits back down with a shiny Yamask in his lap, hand petting its head absently.] Little fella still needs a name that'll stick.

I was thinking-- [He looks down at it, and it looks up, and Church is thoughtful for a bit.] I was thinking Tex, after uhhh that...ghost of a girlfriend you guys saw me with when ghosts, y'know, the ghost thing, when ghosts uh happened. So yeah. You were right, turns out she was just some ghostymon that was trying to be helpful. Ghost-types seem that way, I think. Helpful or at least pretty cool. And this egg--did you know ghosts hatch out of eggs? I don't understand it either--appeared after...uhhh the ghost that was impersonating Tex left. So maybe Tex.

Though it's not black enough. These guys apparently usually come in black and gold, but this one came out blue and silver. Mask's a little creepy, but I'm not about to make any Jim Carrey jokes. [He thinks his pop culture references are funny.] Plus it'd be weird to have a critter around named after you ex-girlfriend, huh? Maybe this guy's a Doc. Or an O'Malley... Maybe go Egyptian, like, like Ra or whatever? Imhotep, I don't really know names. Horus?

Nothing's sticking, and I don't want this little guy left out by being the only one without a name. [That is weirdly sweet of you, Church.] Maybe Butch. Or Flowers. Hm, maybe Epsilon, would that be too morbid...?

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Everything in this world hatches from eggs, other than humans. Ghosts are the least of it.

[So many horror stories he could tell, but that's not what he's here for.]

Your Yamask's colors are different because every egg received after our... visitors left was contained a Shiny Pokémon. The phenomenon is far from unknown, but still very rare. Rare enough to deserve a particularly special name.

I know, but I'm gonna keep calling it weird until it stops being weird. It's still weird, man!

You're right. A special special name. I mean, I usually end up going with something off the top of my head that just kinda has staying power. Or something deliberate for their personalities.

Given that I'm putting this much thought into it, it's already gonna be pretty special, I guess.

Better to think about it for ages and find the perfect name, than to pick the first that comes to mind and regret it after a week. Though if you decide to name it after someone, I'd suggest also considering that person's reaction, no matter how perfect the name. Some... resemblances are best left unmentioned.

So maybe don't name it after an actual person who might someday actually show up here, is what you're saying. ...Yeah, that, uh, might be a good point. [A LITTLE LATE FOR SOME OF THEM but uh. Sure! Good point.]

Unless you are completely certain that they'll take it as a compliment. Or that they'll not dare strike back at you if they feel insulted.

[Says the man who named half his Pokémon after people. Including one when the person in question was there.]

Though it can turn out well. My Rosie and Rosa were quite happy to meet each other, and neither felt insulted by my name choices, thanks to their similar personalities.

Oh, oh! I know, you can name him Sir James the 5th! I think it'll be a perfect nickname for him! And especially when he's suppose to be a ghost thingie! Those dead kings probably must have wandered around those castle for a pretty good while anyway so why not?

[Dont ask]

...I don't think he's the 5th of anything, much less of a James.

Although, honestly? I don't know. The 'dex has some really creepy things to say about Yamask. Something something literally used to be human something something the mask is a mask of their dead human face? So maybe way long ago he used to be a Sir James the 5th?

I really hope it's a practical joke, because if we're catching and battling and hatching actual human ghosts from eggs, then something is tremendously ffff [this is a child this is a child ummmmm] hecked up.

Well, at least you can look at it this way! I mean, it's super creepy noting that they use to be human and all but it also means they can start over again right? And it just means we'll take extra special care of them even if they can give you nightmares when you go to bed!

[All said with a smile too!]

It seems like the least we can do for then anyway! And that includes giving them a super cute nickname!

...That's not a half-bad way of looking at it, actually. I still think it's kind of bull that the lil guy might be the ghost of a long-dead person, but even if it isn't--man, think of the evolutionary implications if someone's ghost can become a pokemon. Mind getting blown right now.

But uh whether it's true or just a ghost story, super cute nickname it is. Nightmares and all. Maybe not James the 5th though.

But that's still not a bad way to go! I mean, you go from being a human into a Pokemon! I think that's pretty cool and especially with whatever awesome powers it has too!

[All the while she used the point of her finger to make 'pew pew' sounds!]

Then how about something all mystically and stuff for him? Maybe we can go with Syndrome or Mystery X or something!

[John has no idea who this is, but that's not going to stop him from tossing in a name suggestion.]

Well if it's a ghost, you obviously need to name it after something from Ghostbusters. What about Egon Spengler? Or Venkman?

I guess you could also call it Casper, but Casper is definitely the inferior movie about ghosts.

I dunno, I already got Slimer. It might be a little gauche to have two named from the same franchise. [Not that that's stopped him from naming others after ~~other RvB characters~~ his own friends and cohorts. But totally not the same thing.]

Whaaat aboooout...man famous fictional ghosts apparently isn't a huge list. There's like a lot of titles, less so names. And this one definitely isn't a Freddy Kruger or a Bloody Baron.

No way! Ghostbusters is cool enough to have an entire team of Pokemons named after it.

But I guess if you insist on being lame, then there's... uh, Beetlejuice? I think there's ghosts in that.

Dude, you are so right about that. And this one is definitely not a Ray, but how fucked up would it be if I went with Stay-Puft? Hmmmm, maybe Patty. Do you seem like a Patty? Nah, I don't think you seem like a Patty.

Maybe a pun on its name? Yamask is like...I don't know. Ya-mask-oh. Masky. Ffff this is hard.

[Okay, mask puns may be important, but something else is sticking out like a sore thumb to John.]

Wait, Patty? I don't remember a Patty from Ghostbusters - and I would know! I have as much Ghostbusters material as a guy can buy on an allowance. Even weird bootleg Ghostbusters things.

Okay, that's weird, and also, what the fuck are you talking about, don't you remember the movies and cartoons with the ladybusters, c'mon man!

...Okay but what kind of bootleg things though?

Woah, no way! I would have definitely remembered something with lady ghostbusters in it. That sounds awesome. Maybe you are just from a cooler universe than me.

And you know, like weird T-shirts with an off-brand Slimer on them that come from Japan. If I still had mine here, I would show you.

If it's a ghost, why not pick one of the Egyptian gods of the afterlife? There are a lot of them to choose from. Osiris is the most prominent, but there's also Seker, Kherty...

...Well I've at least heard of Osiris. I don't, uh, actually know fuck or all about Egyptian mythology except a couple names and like...weighing actual physical hearts on a scale in the underworld?

[She giggles at that reply.]

You could always name it whichever you think sounds the coolest! But... Osiris himself was murdered and resurrected, and was seen as a god of both death and renewal. So maybe that one makes the most sense?

Wow, that's...apt in a couple of ways? [In ways he more means kind of about himself that he's not going to detail here thanks.] I dunno, I could go with Anck Su Namun or start making shit up, but if I make shit up, I run the risk of sounding super racist. I may be an asshole of mega proportions, but I'm not that kind of asshole.

Ra, ra, sis boom bah, Ra ra ah ah ah, fuck now I wanna call it Lady Gaga, fuck. Maybe forget the Egyptian thing...

[Well, she tried.]

Good luck finding a name, in any case.

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