victory_road | [Closed]

[He thought as much, so it's not a surprise to hear such words coming from the bard's lips. And yet, for Dimitri, that only seems to leave questions in its wake.]

[Geralt is even harder to read, stoic and careful as always - at least from his point of view. Still, for him to address Jaskier... Maybe it's just Dimitri himself who hopes that it means he would like to know what's going on as well. Or, at least, he's addressing him for some reason.]

[Still. Dimitri can't let Geralt do all his not-talking, and so he doesn't look away from Jaskier.]

Then help me understand, for the words and tone you used with Claude were not those of a friend who likes those he is with. I had not thought Claude had offended you to the point you would use such language with him.

Especially... When you are so dear to him, a sentiment I thought you shared, even if your relationship differs from that of you and Geralt. Of myself and Claude.

[Dimitri won't put words in his lover's mouth, won't say that Jaskier's words must have stung hard and deep, but... Well. He can't imagine how else one would feel after something like that.]

[Dimitri's disappointment is already pressuring enough, but then Geralt turns to him with searching golden eyes and says his name, knowing that's enough for Jaskier to understand him. Which is true.

Under the weight of both their judgment, part of Jaskier just wants to release Dahlia from her ball and ask her to teleport him the hell out of here.

Instead, he gets up and walks to the pile of their things to find the case of his lute. Putting it away safely is an excuse to look away from the men waiting for an answer from him and to think of what to say.

How much is he supposed to say anyway? Everyone is already angry with him. Won't confessing more, breaking even more of their privacy make him even shittier? When you've crossed a line, are you supposed to cross them all? Go big or home?]

...I suppose... [When he finally talks, his voice is low, nothing like the bright tones that usually take over a room. His distressed smell is a combination of things: frustration. Anger. Disappointment. Shame.] ...I suppose I was more annoyed by his scolding and his preaching than I realized.

[And when it finally came out, well. He couldn't control it, like the emotional idiot he is.]

[So it was just something as simple as that. On the one hand, Dimitri supposes he should be glad. If it is simple, just emotions snapping when they shouldn't, then that means there is no complex drama to sort out. That is something.]

[On the other hand, Dimitri knows far too well how something simple can ruin things so easily.]

[He doesn't chase after Jaskier; pressuring people here just seems as though it would cause more harm. Instead, he stays there, staring towards his back, hoping that this isn't bad enough to be the worst result.]

I know... That it is an excuse used by many for all manner of things, but he only leaned so hard on you because you are dear to him, and he wanted you to be happy.

Claude can be overbearing, at times. I know this. [He once put a hand right over Claude's mouth in an attempt to make him stop talking. Dimitri understands.] Yet as intelligent as he is, he cannot know everything. He couldn't have known that you were so frustrated by him, when you yourself did not even realize it.

...I believe you know this, because you are no fool, Jaskier. I do not mean to preach either. I simply despair at seeing Claude become so hurt, and that you may follow suit. I do not want your precious friendship ruined beyond repair. Claude cares for you so deeply, after all. And those words have driven... deep.

[For Claude to react like that? They had to have.]

Overbearing? [That's a rather bitter snort leaving his lips.] Have you met me? That's not- I told him he cannot know--

[Ugh, he's doing it again. Directly to Dimitri this time, the poor sweet guy trying to make the best out of this situation. There is also... well, Jaskier doesn't give a fuck if Felix is mad at him, but Grant... he barely knows the man but he's nice, and he didn't hear what he said but he remembers the tone, and this is yet another poor guy trapped in this mess, in this-- this--

Lordling slapfight.

Ugh.

Jaskier hides his face on his hands again and this time screams into them, frustration leaving his shoulders shaking. Hopefully Dimitri isn't too close to him, because when he turns around he's going all out with the hand gestures.]

I hate having to think about what I say twice because anything I say will be used against me! You've been to court, you know what I'm talking about. [He gives Dimitri a look that says "I am willing to listen to you but don't even TRY to argue against that".] And I KNOW why he is the way he is, I listened to him and I was patient, I do not expect him to let me in to the extent he does with you... but I thought I was at the very least one step away from that! At some point I just-- stopped talking about Geralt to him.

[And aren't friends supposed to be there to listen to you whine about your crush?]

[Oh, okay, it's screaming time now]

[Dimitri can understand that emotions are boiling in a lot of different places at once, but he expects it to be maybe a little more controlled than this - Claude's leaving, Felix's snipe before following, Grant's concern. For this kind of thing...]

[Concern rolls through him. He knows that Jaskier has done something wretched to Claude, but this, too, is a wretched thing to see. He steps forward, concerned, one hand raised-]

[And just barely manages to react in time when Jaskier abruptly straightens up with his hands flinging themselves through the air, just barely managing to avoid catching him in the mouth. Dimitri blinks, recovering for that close call, before hastily forcing his mind back on track as he listens to Jaskier.]

I... cannot lie and say I do not understand that frustration. I am sure Claude knows it even more than I. [Claude had spent the last five years in the Leicester Alliance doing just that, after all.] And, are those feelings worth potentially burning the bridge between you...?

[Are those feelings worth potentially burning the bridge between you?

Jaskier thinks back to the day he told his family they could go fuck themselves, and how he hasn't seen his sister again since then.

He thinks back to the Countess de Stael grabbing his hand between hers and telling him they need to talk.

He remembers chatting with Claude and thinking he's different and how he deserved a chance and-- the fact he doesn't know how to reply to that question honestly scares him. Which is unfair to Dimitri, because this king in front of him should be proof of a concept.]

...I suppose it won't hurt to try. [With a sigh he starts moving away, stopping next to Dimitri to put a gentle hand on his arm.] You're a good man, Dimitri. And a righteous king. I'm sorry I dragged you into this.

[He goes to Geralt next, to kiss his cheek and squeeze his hand.] Whatever happens, I want you to stay here and still have fun with them, do you hear me? [Yes, he's already accepting the idea he may end up leaving if it comes down to it.] I like it when you have friends. [Even if those friends don't get along with Jaskier, like certain sorceress he'd rather not think about now.] We'll talk later.

[And they never do, but hey, who's keeping track of things. For now... to find Claude.]

[Frankly, no matter what he's told, Dimitri is still not entirely sure of the truth behind such words... But he is, at least, learning better than to say such thoughts out loud.]

[Besides, there's something more important than himself going on here, and he follows Jaskier for just a few short steps for a final offer.]

I can go speak with him, if you would like. Help make this an easier conversation for both of you.

[He's not sure how, exactly, at least he can't be until he goes see Claude himself, but...]

[Jaskier blinks at Dimitri, caught by surprise, and then he can't stop his expression from softening. Seriously: proof of a concept.]

You're truly sweet, did you know that? [He shakes his head.] Thank you, but I shall turn down your offer. We need to have a raw, honest conversation, not some-- mollified version of our feelings that keep what we really want to say hidden not to disappoint you. Not talking things out properly got us here, remember?

[Jaskier and Claude have gone aside to have their own discussion, and while they've gone out of the range of human hearing, Geralt's is better. It's hard not to overhear it, in the same way that it would be hard to not overhear two people speaking right next to you.]

[And the conversation is going... poorly. Perhaps even more poorly than his did, which is saying something.]

[It shows on his face a few times, how badly their conversation is going-- the way his mouth tightens briefly into something like a grimace, the brief glance he spares for the pair when words start to get particularly heated. Speaking to Claude so quickly after the event was perhaps... imprudent? Perhaps they should have waited for cooler heads. Perhaps even cooler heads wouldn't have made this better.]

Fuck. [He says it low, half under his breath. An apt summary of the situation.]

[Dimitri had, to his great mistake, thought that this could be a simple matter. Claude had forgiven him for doing far worse, after all. There's few things worse than sniping a person and their beloved wyvern out of the air with a lance. And he hadn't wanted him to suffer for long, thinking that someone he cared about hated him, or anything similar.]

[The reassurance Jaskier had left him with had... not been much of one, if he's honest, because he thinks that one can make sure people are in the best of states before having raw and honest conversation, and that isn't mollifying anything... But still.]

[When one does not want to lose a dear and beloved friend - someone so close that they shared beds - surely they would make sure to apologize honestly and work on that relationship, right?]

[Except, the more Dimitri watches, the less he feels certain. Even from a distance, just watching their gestures and posture, it's clear that Claude and Jaskier aren't.... hitting a good point. He still tries to be optimistic, because certainly he and Claude clashed a couple of times before things got better, but...]

[Geralt swears besides him, and Dimitri finally looks at him. Finally notices the way his mouth twists into a grimace.]

[Ah.]

[Fuck.]

[Dimitri struggles for a moment, not wanting to intrude upon something so intimate and private like some sort of crude eavesdropper, but...]

No progress?

[Felix already had a bad feeling about how things were going from the look on Grant's face, as they got far enough away to be out of earshot for Felix but not for someone with a werewolf's ears. The look on Geralt's face confirms it as they arrive just as the witcher makes his commentary.

Only then does Felix turn around to watch the other two across the field, and from the way Jaskier is wildly gesturing, 'fuck' sounds like a pretty accurate assessment.]

I'm sure Claude had his reasons for deciding to have this conversation now, but hell if I know what they were.

[He's just grumbling, not interrupting, and he looks to Geralt for whatever answer he might be about to give.]

[Fuck. Yeah, that about sums it up, from the snippets Grant heard against his will as they retreated.

He crosses his arms as he goes to stand by the others, but in the specific kind of way where it looks like he's just trying to keep his limbs as close to himself as possible, as if worried that if his arms stick out too much he'll get caught in the disaster going on across the field.

He doesn't say anything, though. Just... stares nervously.]

[No progress, Dimitri asks, without understanding the sheer understatement of that question. No progress would be preferable to the current clusterfuck that is unveiling itself between Claude and Jaskier. Geralt is by no means an expert in social interaction, but he can see a conversation going downhill when it's basically gone and thrown itself off of a metaphorical cliff. This situation is hitting social terminal velocity. There might be no survivors upon impact.]

It is not going... well. [There's a lot being said, and it's difficult to both parse all of that and try to translate it into something that's an accurate summation but also isn't telling things that shouldn't be told. This is a delicate job and Geralt's probably not the right person for it, but he's the only one with the ridiculously sensitive ears right now.] Jaskier has harbored resentment that Claude was unaware of. Claude does not seem to think that his actions merit this response, or the things that Jaskier said earlier. There has been some talk of broken trust and controlling behaviors.

[Geralt, himself, didn't know that Jaskier had these feelings towards Claude, nor did he expect Jaskier's outburst during this gathering. He would have thought that if Jaskier was having problems like this, he would have mentioned them; he hid them well, this time. Perhaps he thought that Geralt wouldn't want to hear about his interpersonal issues with someone that he didn't personally like much.]

They are at an impasse.

[So, yeah, 'fuck' was about as good of a summary as any.]

[The only thing Jaskier wants right now is to leave, and maybe find a bottle of wine. He can't do that without his Pokémon, though, and he's itching for the little comfort having his lute back can provide - that means returning to their little picnic and seeing everyone's faces. No other way. Bollocks.

He drags his feet as he makes his way back, tears starting to fall. Just because he's realized ending things was the best thing to do, it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt like hell. He wishes it could've been one of those "friendly break-ups" he's heard about, that he hadn't hurt Claude in the process, but Jaskier is aware of his weak hold on his own emotions, and he can't help wondering exactly how much different it would've gone.

Four men look at him when he arrives, and Jaskier can't help freezing, staring back with red eyes. The first one he notices, obviously, is Geralt, and part of him wants to run to the witcher and ask for comfort. But Claude's words still ring in his ears - and while Jaskier is sure that Geralt's friendship with Felix and Dimitri will be just fine (wasn't lying when he told Claude that), his fears related to fucking up relationships are crawling at his chest now. He can't ruin things again, especially not for the most important person in his life.

So instead, he hangs his head and speaks with a low voice that gives away how shitty he feels at the moment.]

Claude and I aren't friends anymore. [Calloused hands rub their fingers together, a common nervous habit of his.] I'm sorry I dragged you all into this. It wasn't my intention to hurt anyone. I-- [He sighs as he rubs his eyes next, trying to come up with something good to say.] Just... sorry.

[Not much else he can do. He walks past Dimitri, Felix and Grant and approaches Geralt to offer a little wave of his hand.]

I'll go back to the inn. Stay and-- I don't know if it's possible anymore, but have fun.

[Now to find Dahlia's Pokéball in his bag...]

[Felix and Grant seem just as worried and frustrated as Dimitri is, but have nothing to offer, no new information that can help... if anything even can at this point. Dimitri is left to just keep staring at where Claude and Jaskier stand... Until Geralt begins to speak, and his gaze slips over to him instead.]

[Hidden resentment, yes, that seems to match up with what Jaskier had said before - something even the bard had apparently not realized the depth of, which was seemingly so well hidden that not even Claude could have spotted it.]

[But broken trust? Controlling behavior? Jaskier had made absolutely no mention of that before. Dimitri's brow furrows together, and his mouth stays open slightly as he tries to absorb it. He had carefully refrained from commenting about the things Jaskier had complained about before; how could he truly offer any good advice when it was all connected to things Jaskier and Claude in private? Yet he just can't understand.]

[He doesn't get a chance to understand either. The sound of Jaskier's shoes against grass and dirt draws his attention, and the man that enters his field of view looks... pitiful. Wretched.]

[And the news he drops is even worse.]

[Dimitri's mouth falls open all the way. When he had spoken with Jaskier on all of this only a few minutes ago, when he had essentially encouraged him, he... He couldn't have thought this would be the result. An apology is a painful thing, but he had still thought the two men would be able to manage. Whatever happened is, is...]

[His brain cannot grasp any eloquence now.]

What?

[Felix is…confused. He doesn’t know Jaskier that well, but he at least was pretty sure the bard never projected anything false. One of several things Felix came to respect about him.

But that doesn’t match up with Jaskier keeping all this resentment to himself. So Felix might say that maybe he didn’t, but Claude didn’t realize what he was really saying? But that doesn’t make much sense either, because Claude is very good at reading people - especially people like him and Jaskier, who have little control over their emotions when they act up too much.

And this Jaskier in front of them seems crushed, but Felix has seen him vacillate wildly between contrite and pissy in the span of a few seconds, so…is all of it sincere, or are the apologies lies?

And he says he didn’t intend to hurt anyone, but he’s also apparently still harboring his grudge against Felix for one thing he said months and months ago when everything was delicate and complicated, so…why would he have wanted to do anything but hurt him?

Ugh, this is all giving Felix a headache. He just wants to fight Geralt and see Dimitri and Claude fight Geralt. He’d been looking forward to hearing Jaskier play, too, but…so much for that.]

I…hm. I don’t understand.

[For the most part, that sounds about right as an extension of the bits and pieces Grant had heard as he retreated... but it really is alarming, hearing that Jaskier had apparently managed to hide this resentment so thoroughly that Claude couldn't pick up that something is wrong.

And then Jaskier returns, looking completely miserable, and confirms just how hard things have come crashing down. Grant barely knows what to think of any of it - not Jaskier's apparent emotional state, not how rapidly things ended. His fingers clutch at his sleeves.] W... what?

[I don't understand, Felix says, and you know Jaskier is tired and done for the day when he doesn't snap at him to tell him it's not your business to understand. Instead, he sighs as he puts his lute on his back, followed by releasing Dahlia from her Pokéball.]

It wasn't meant to be.

[Maybe that's a little too strong considering he and Claude were never romantically involved, but Jaskier finds the phrase the fitting in its poetry and dramatics. Dahlia, meanwhile, is looking at her trainer and pulling at his pants, worried about his current state of mind.

Jaskier looks down at her, grabs her paw and makes a simple request.] Dahlia, Teleport.

[It's not what she expects to hear, and she doesn't like it. But she's a good girl, an obedient Pokémon, so after giving Geralt -her trainer's mate- a pleading look, she holds Jaskier's hand tightly in her own and makes them disappear.]

[Closed]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

dropping eaves and shit with the rest of the gang

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject