[video / action for the parking lot of the violet city dedenny's]

[meteorman]

[At a little past three in the morning a video shows up on the 'gear. Ford has been something of a cryptid as of late -- more than he usually is -- and this picture just hammers that home. He's standing in what looks like... the parking lot of a Dedenny's? The lighting isn't great considering he's outside at night, which really adds to the ambience. The light from the sign glints off his glasses. He looks a little manic, but what's new?]

Come to -- what's the phrase-- come to the Violet City Dedenny's if you want an asskicking.

[Look at him, learning memes that are simultaneously from his future and also extremely out of date.]

I'm turning seventy-four in one week. I want to start celebrating early.

[There's a momentary pause.]

I should clarify I am referring to a Pokémon battle. If you were to physically fight me it wouldn't be very fair to you.

I am also open to verbal debate if you don't feel like coming all the way to Violet at three in the morning. I've noticed there isn't egalitarian appreciation of Pokémon and I won't stand for it. Every Pokémon is cute, not only your standard Eevee or Cleffa.

[He lifts up a fat little Pyukumuku. It extends its 'hand' and bops him gently on the face, skewing his glasses.]

You look at Eviscerator and tell her she isn't adorable.

Comments

[meteorman]

You can't dock me points for being pedantic. That's like docking water points for being wet.

[Whoa-ho! Look who's self-aware a little as a treat!]

[uber_marionettist]

Who said I wasn't docking points for that? As far as I'm concerned, that's two strikes against Eviscerator here already.

[I won't pretend that I'm not enjoying myself here. Because I am.]

[meteorman]

[Oh NOW we're getting into it]

For a man who once told me I didn't bathe enough you certainly have some questionable opinions about water. Not that I'd recommend bathing in the ocean but you're still wrong.

[uber_marionettist]

Oh, my bad. A shower is absolutely indistinguishable from a body of water that comprises over seventy percent of the planet on a good day, you sure fucking got me.

Also that's blatant misrepresentation of my character. At most, I suggested that you have a preference for musty basements and that your hair desperately needed some attention. Like a shampoo and conditioner that aren't part of a five-in-one.

[meteorman]

You said my hair was moldy.

I explained before and I will explain again: I favor efficiency over appearance. I don't see what's wrong with that. There's only so many hours in a day and I don't want to waste too many of them primping.

[Using separate shampoo and conditioner is totally 'primping'.]