[video / action for the parking lot of the violet city dedenny's]

[meteorman]

[At a little past three in the morning a video shows up on the 'gear. Ford has been something of a cryptid as of late -- more than he usually is -- and this picture just hammers that home. He's standing in what looks like... the parking lot of a Dedenny's? The lighting isn't great considering he's outside at night, which really adds to the ambience. The light from the sign glints off his glasses. He looks a little manic, but what's new?]

Come to -- what's the phrase-- come to the Violet City Dedenny's if you want an asskicking.

[Look at him, learning memes that are simultaneously from his future and also extremely out of date.]

I'm turning seventy-four in one week. I want to start celebrating early.

[There's a momentary pause.]

I should clarify I am referring to a Pokémon battle. If you were to physically fight me it wouldn't be very fair to you.

I am also open to verbal debate if you don't feel like coming all the way to Violet at three in the morning. I've noticed there isn't egalitarian appreciation of Pokémon and I won't stand for it. Every Pokémon is cute, not only your standard Eevee or Cleffa.

[He lifts up a fat little Pyukumuku. It extends its 'hand' and bops him gently on the face, skewing his glasses.]

You look at Eviscerator and tell her she isn't adorable.

Comments

[meteorman]

They grow back! Or in the case of pyukumuku, can be retracted back inside. I have personally seen Eviscerator lift stones and push various pieces of furniture; she lacks fine motor control but has decent strength. It balances out.

[neverfinishanyth]

How interesting! I wonder if there is some kind of material that could mimic this strength and stretchiness.

[meteorman]

Possibly! My first instinct would be some kind of rubber, but rubber lacks the organic give that you're looking for. I'm ashamed to admit I'm not much of a chemist.

[neverfinishanyth]

Neither am I, admittedly, but that's no reason not to try and find the answer, all the same.

[meteorman]

I like the way you think. Nothing ventured nothing gained!

Though I currently have several ongoing projects. I don't know if I could take on another.

[He's still gotta convince people humans are aliens, okay?]

[neverfinishanyth]

I take it these projects do not involve fighting a wide variety of challengers?

Though I suppose I couldn't rule it out.

[meteorman]

Technically they are all research attached to my gym, and without the gym funding I would not have the time or manpower to conduct them, so fighting a wide variety of challengers is actually central to the process.

[neverfinishanyth]

Of course, and I am sure you can gather quite a lot of valuable information on pokemon behavior and biology in the process.

[meteorman]

My specific area of study is actually the human/Pokémon relationship and the ways in which it influences the wider society of this world. I consider myself a xenosociologist far more than a xenobiologist.

[Really you only need to look at his journals to get that sense. Ford Pines wasn't doing advanced biological studies on the creatures of Gravity Falls, he was writing an ethnography on its magical society. Kinda like a relatively less-shitty Malinowski, with all of the pioneering a new area of research and a lot less of the racism.]

I have to ask, did you get into the sciences because of your name or did your parents simply make a really good guess?

[neverfinishanyth]

My name has very little to do with it, as I'm fairly sure I'd be like this even if I were Antonio from Vinci.