[video / action for the parking lot of the violet city dedenny's]

[meteorman]

[At a little past three in the morning a video shows up on the 'gear. Ford has been something of a cryptid as of late -- more than he usually is -- and this picture just hammers that home. He's standing in what looks like... the parking lot of a Dedenny's? The lighting isn't great considering he's outside at night, which really adds to the ambience. The light from the sign glints off his glasses. He looks a little manic, but what's new?]

Come to -- what's the phrase-- come to the Violet City Dedenny's if you want an asskicking.

[Look at him, learning memes that are simultaneously from his future and also extremely out of date.]

I'm turning seventy-four in one week. I want to start celebrating early.

[There's a momentary pause.]

I should clarify I am referring to a Pokémon battle. If you were to physically fight me it wouldn't be very fair to you.

I am also open to verbal debate if you don't feel like coming all the way to Violet at three in the morning. I've noticed there isn't egalitarian appreciation of Pokémon and I won't stand for it. Every Pokémon is cute, not only your standard Eevee or Cleffa.

[He lifts up a fat little Pyukumuku. It extends its 'hand' and bops him gently on the face, skewing his glasses.]

You look at Eviscerator and tell her she isn't adorable.

Comments

[meteorman]

It isn't so difficult when you get into the habit of daily exercise and mindfulness.

[And also you treat your body like a tool and have a problem with pushing yourself to your limit constantly against all common sense but you know.

Eviscerator continues to bap gently at his face, skewing his glasses more and more. He serenely ignores it.]

At least you're self-aware enough to admit you have bad taste.

[amaure]

Well, I'll have to keep that in mind, then.

[His gaze fixates on the, uh, bapping of Ford's face, and while the gesture would otherwise seem cute...the fact that the "hand" is its entrails makes it otherwise.]

If this is what constitutes as bad taste, then I embrace it fully. I will not deny that--like all creatures--each Pokémon serves a purpose and that each one is statistically someone's favored, but it is quite simply a fiction to believe everyone should find every single one endearing.

I, for one, tend to appreciate beasts which keep their internal organs within the bounds of such description. At least in terms of what I find charming, at least.

[meteorman]

[How does it feel to be so wrong?]

But consider! This ability is wholly unique to Pyukumuku, and serves as not just a defense mechanism but a substitute limb for a creature that otherwise has no appendages. Not only that but it survives in adverse conditions, enduring starvation and forced displacement from its natural habitat by humans who find it too unsightly. It continues to survive and thrive despite stacked odds. I think that's worthy of some level of respect.

[amaure]

Oh, do not misunderstand me, I was not implying that the creature is beyond fascination nor respect for its physiology. Indeed, it and other creatures similar to it that I am familiar with from mine own reality are truly interesting to observe, and I harbor it no ill will for its unique anatomy. I must confess I do have a soft spot for those whom beat the odds, regardless of how impossible they may prove to be.

'Tis merely not a creature I would name "cute", that's all.

[meteorman]

I'm beginning to think I have a more generous definition of 'cute' than most people.

[He did definitely call a Dhelmise cute elsewhere, and Dhelmise is just a hunk of angry seaweed.]

[amaure]

With a low bar one is rarely disastified. Nothing wrong with that.

[Then again, does he really have room to talk when it comes to that which he finds "cute"? He is routinely charmed by Dirk, after all, among...other things.]

All the same, I cannot fault you your appreciation for life, regardless of its form nor function within its ecosystem. I've naught but respect for men of science, which I would wager you are.