victory_road

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Holy shit!

[It's Jack again, holding up his gear and grinning into the screen.]

And for once I'm not losing my mind over my fancy Stunky. No, look at this. Look at Beefo! ...oh, yeah, before I do the big reveal I probably outta mention that Beefo's my starter who started out like the size of my hand. Important information for this.

[The gear turns to reveal...a rather hulking looking Golisopod in Jack's backyard.]

Beefo beefed up!

Is...is this normal, or was my little alien bug sneaking steroids when I wasn't looking? Look, I get Pokemon evolution and how it happens, but... look at him! He's taller than me now! Yesterday he was riding around on my shoulder now he's gonna crush me into a messy spot on the floor if he sits on me!

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Oh it is.

[Lanque turns the view to show his own Golisopod, though the colors are decidedly different. A shiny Golisopod from the looks of it, one that's currently mediating and paying his trainer no mind.]

It almost seems like a meme of sorts with how much of a difference it is...

Huh! Lookit that. That's crazy! Just a little guy to a friggin war beast looking dude like that!

[Jack snaps his fingers.]

Guess ya really can grow up to be anything you wanna be! So how long have you had yours?

It really does seem like a metaphor, too bad for everyone else Pokémon are far more exceptional with possibility than actual people are.

[Lanque's of the opinion that some people really just aren't cut out to be better than they are. No matter how they try.]

Several perigees now, I didn't know what to expect when I took him under my wing, but I can't say I'm disappointed by the results.

[As he talks, he approaches the hulking bug, gently rubbing his meticulously manicured hand over his smooth carapace. In response, the Golisopod lets out a soft churring sound, one that's almost like a cat's purr as much as it's a sound of acknowledgment.]

Speak for yourself, some of us are pretty friggin extraordinary!

[Says the man who completely reinvented himself.]

I knew Beefo was gunna evolve and I skimmed the page on it but I didn't look at the size! I figured...I dunno, twice as big or something. I'm just lucky he did it outside, I'd have exploded furniture all over the damn place.

That's my point: some, not all.

[Himself being included in the "some", naturally.]

I have to say, if they were smaller, they'd look pretty comical. It'd be pretty cute, but I think I like their robust size far more. They're one hell of a combatant.

Plenty of Pokemon already look ridiculous. Traditional evolution packed its bags and fucked off of this planet a loooong time ago! Scientists back home would lose their friggin minds over this place.

Really? A lot of these creatures look like more colorful versions of the fauna on my planet. In fact, most of these are far cuter than the beasts that I'm used to.

They figured out a way to bypass what my people know as evolution, yeah, that's the kind of shit that's interesting to scientists. On top of that I don't think I've heard of any planet that's got this much diversity in lifeforms. This rock has like twenty planet's worth of species on it!

Huh, I guess your planet was pretty underdeveloped then. Honestly, I feel this planet is pretty sparse in its variety of creatures, our lusii are far more complex and of greater variation than these.

Not to mention the planet itself is pretty behind in terms of technology. Makes me wonder just how old this world is.

Uh, no, none of my planets were underdeveloped, they just didn't evolve a metric fuckton of different species.

Or maybe they did and we wiped a bunch of'em out when we started colonizing, I dunno, that was way before my time.

Hmm, makes me wonder what you think is developed and what isn't. What would you categorize this planet as?

It's a bit weird to think about wiping out species from your own planet like that, though. I know not all of you humans came from a planet with a symbiotic relationship with beasts like this world or mine, but even so...

This planet is weird, it's got some of what I'd consider advanced stuff but then a bunch of not.

Whatever the hell planet humans came from in my world is long gone, buddy. We're spread out across like six different galaxies at this point. We colonized space. And probably wiped out some alien species when we did it.

The most advanced things here barely scrape the surface of Alternian technology.

[He sounds a little bored at that technological flex, mainly because he isn't a techy, but he knows enough to deem something as primitive or not.]

Then our species are similar--if I'm being generous. Though my hive planet is perfectly fine. We trolls have dominated the entire surrounding galaxies and are currently aiming to seize even more planets in our ever expanding empire, or whatever.

I guess that isn't so weird then, wiping out alien species. What happened to your human planet?

Edited 2021-10-08 01:04 (UTC)

Yeah, they're pretty behind us, too. They got a kind of fast travel system but it's pretty much baby's first teleportation system.

I dunno what happened to it. I was born on the galactic frontier, we're so friggin far removed from wherever we started that I wasn't even sure 'Earth' was real till I got here. Thought it was just something for TV and comics. And according to TV and comics it either blew up or we used it up or there was a huge war or something with aliens. Even the stuff from before the expansion isn't too clear on what happened.

Great music, though!

Huh, can't relate to that, but it doesn't seem like you're too broken up about it. Our planet is pretty instrumental to the continuation of our entire species, so we have no plans to be so careless as that.

It's interesting that your species couldn't take care of nor protect your planet, yet you can dominate others. I guess the need to survive is quite the driving force--that I do know personally.

If the music is anything like the garbage always playing here, I'd have to disagree.

Why would I be broken up about a planet my people haven't lived on in like a thousand years or whatever? I don't even miss the over-industrialized crap hole I grew up on. And who knows, maybe it's still out there somewhere and we just got bored and left. I dunno. We haven't lost any other planets since then. I don't think.

Oh no, nothing like this bullshit. Real music. That plays on radios and ECHOs and not constantly in the atmosphere.

I've known people who got emotional about some real stupid hoofbeast shit before, so I wouldn't be surprised if a human in your position used it as a reason to be real sad and pathetic for attention. I'm glad you're not like that.

As for the music, too bad I don't think we have any of that available here. I'm pretty into music myself, but fuck if this planet isn't sorely missing anything remotely worthy of being described as it.

That's a really stupid reason to be sad.

Ya gotta really go hunting for it. Underground scene. Hit up the hole in the wall vinyl shops and you can find some decent tunes if you're patient. And I guess if you're into jazz there's a pretty happening jazz scene in one of the towns here. I dunno, I'm not a jazz guy.

Never stopped anyone before.

I have found some places that had passable bops, but still nothing comparable to what we had back on Alternia. Never been big on troll jazz myself, but can't say I've listened to much human jazz.

How about you show me some of your favorite music shops sometime? I'm Lanque, by the way.

Sure, why the hell not? I'm Jack. I'm in Goldenrod.

Human jazz is the only kind I know and I am just not a fan.

_{[BJ is giving the OK symbol with his hand and winking one eye.]}

Lookin' delicious!

That is a weird thing to say about a giant alien bug!

Unless you meant me, which...yeah. That's a normal reaction to me!

That's amazing! Some Pokémon look so different when they evolve, it's almost unbelievable. Look.

[Doppio sends out his Gyarados; it has to lower its head to be within view, and even the head alone takes up a significant amount of video real estate.]

Pesci used to be... [and here Doppio holds an invisible Magikarp between his hands] ... about this big. It happens so suddenly it might as well be magic, honestly!

Oh shit, yeah! That's one of those dragons that starts out as a fish! I got one of the fish but I dunno how to make it turn into a dragon.

You just have to keep training it! Though... It might feel like it takes a while since Magikarp is kind of...

[Doppio looks at his Gyarados. Pesci looks back at him, tilting its head. Doppio... decides to be delicate.]

... Defenseless.

Yeah, see, I gave up on training it exactly cuz of that. It doesn't do anything!

Seriously how the hell do you train one of those things?

I think sometimes Pokémon can learn from watching others fight! Oh, and you can give them those candies too. I did some of that.

Voyeur fish, got it!

Which candies? There's...there's a lotta crap for Pokemon.

People just call them "rare candies." I guess that's because you can't buy them?

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