victory_road | [video] -- Action for Goldenrod?

_{[Just another day in Johto.]

[The video opens on Beetlejuice who is holding his Poke'Gear at proper selfie distance for once. BJ has finally ditched his Bug Maniac get-up in favor of some regular frumpy looking winter clothes and a long black and white striped scarf. He's grinning from ear to ear as he flops himself down in the lap of a mall Santa stationed in the middle of the Goldenrod Department store. ]

[Poor Santa oofs loudly.]}

Ho ho ho! Mind if I cut in?

_{[He's glancing around. This man just came out of nowhere and sat himself down. There were paying customers waiting! Somewhere a little kid starts crying and the mumble of angry parents' voices can be heard. Santa does his best to weather this and gives the Poke'gear's lens a shaky little smile before looking back to the grown ass man on his lap.]}

My, you're a big boy, aren't you? How about--how bout you tell me what you would like for Christmas.

_{[Beetlejuice wastes no time at all. The ex-ghoul locks eyes with Saint Nick and holds his camera steady.]}

There's only one thing on my list this year, Daddy Christmas.

_{[He leans in to plant a big wet smooch on Santa's whiskery lips.]

[There is a lot of movement suddenly. The snapping of cheap cardboard. A jingle of bells. Colors rush past the lens in a blur before it focuses again on Beetlejuice, now half running half sashaying through the mall. People are shouting, but he's still grinning and casting glances over his shoulder.]}

Hahahahaha! Looks like I'm on Santa's naughty list again this ye--CRAP THEY HAVE THOSE FIRE-BREATHING DOGS!

_{[He is no longer grinning.]}

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

What did I just watch?

[Like seriously, that would be baffling enough for someone familiar with the concept of Santa Claus, which Peridot is not.]

[ Before he actually responds, Kirishima is gaping at Beetlejuice's bravado and sheer lack of decorum. This definitely reminds him of a prank video, however, and so he's weighing how upset he should actually be. Is this actually hurting anyone? Well, mall Santa definitely didn't give consent, but is a kiss that bad...?

Beetlejuice running is when he decides to chime in. ]

Totally not manly, just jumping a dude like that!

[ He frowns at the camera, more disappointed than actually outraged. ]

Santa is real and you're lucky it's not a whole herd of Stantler after your ass right now! Man, what were you thinkin'?

_{[The voice coming from his Poke'Gear tugs his attention back to the screen. He's huffing and puffing but grinning all the same.]}

Aw kid, don't let the gender bias control you! I'm just following my--

_{[He dives into a clothes wrack and pulls them along the circular bar behind him like a curtain. Shouting can be heard from behind him that grows louder before it grows softer.]}

--heart!

What?! I don't care if you're man a kissing another man! That's manly as hell!

[ Kirishima is shouting into the screen, clenching a fist with his fervor. Showing your passion is manly, and what's more masculine than kissing another dude? That's like DOUBLE the manliness! Simple math! ~~He might be biased right now~~. ]

But you kissed a man without his say-so! That's unmanly!

[ 100% BJ is going to be found out if he's listening to Kirishima's messages because the boy is loud. ]

Edited 2021-12-12 07:04 (UTC)

_{[He blows a raspberry and flops a hand to shoo away Kirishima's scolding.]}

Alright, alright. Consider it a surprise gift! It's Christmas!

_{[He looks over one shoulder and then the other, grunting now that he's down on his knees on the hard mall tile. A hand hovers over the tiny speaker holes of his Poke'Gear but not enough to totally shush him. He's not that smart.]}

Oof, this was easier when I was dead. At least I'll get some sexy bruises out of it. So, kid! You been a good boy this year? You gonna ask Sandy Claws for a new bike or somethin'?

[ Kirishima ruffles a bit at the raspberry, pouting. Surprise kisses? Well... Now he has to debate a little because surprises are fun and he did not actually see mall Santa's reaction. The dogs have been called out, literally, so it's probably still bad. Right?

Now this next statement has a couple of things to answer. Kirishima, bless his heart, goes for the simplest one first. ]

I mean... I wanna think I've been good enough! At least I haven't kissed any dudes except the ones I knew were open to it! Santa asked me to ride with him into battle last year and I think he'd do it again if he needed? That counts, right? Not that that's my lowest bar for bein' 'good'...

[ Wait. He doesn't need to explain himself! ]

What do you mean 'dead'? Like dead dead?

_{[Beetlejuice listens to this. He's only been in the wonderful world of Pokemon for a few months, but he's seen a great number of strange things. So he doesn't instantly discount the guy's claim of going to battle with Santa. What he does do is quietly contemplate--what if that was Santa he just snagged a smooch from?]

[Well, he guessed he'd be the warmest guy in Johto with all the coal he'd get! BJ returns to the present when a question is asked of him. He wants to enjoy gushing about himself but he also doesn't want to get caught and toasted by dogs. The man listens quietly, breathing through his mouth. No dogs...]}

Right! So! That is correct! Dead-dead. Very dead. Rigor Mortis, worms, all the bells and whistles.

_{[He beams, flashing his yellowed teeth.]}

[ One would think the pro like the real Santa might take little shits like BJ in stride, which is basically the logic Kirishima is going on right now ( though not in those exact terms ). Still... probably not too cool to kiss actual Santa without consent either. Wasn't he married?

Kirishima purses his lips, looking torn because now he's got more questions. ]

How did you know you were dead...? Wait! Don't distract me! What you did was bad!

[ Except he clearly can't keep the momentum of his convictions. It really wasn't that bad. ]

You weren't really tryin' to get your wishlist filled with that move, were you?

[ Maybe BJ is just dumb? As a dumb himself, Kirishima can see that as a possibility, even if he wouldn't go for it. ]

Edited 2021-12-12 07:40 (UTC)

Oh, it was pretty obvious what with all the mold growing on me and the lack of a pulse. Buuuut I guess you don't wanna hear about that.

_{[He fakes a pout, poking his lip out.]}

You want me to feel bad for spreading love and joy on CHRISTMAS. You're basically The Grinch!

[ BJ actually gets a wry chuckle out of Kirishima as he talks about mold. ]

Dude, I was in school with a girl whose Quirk could make mushrooms grow out of anywhere and anybody. I think she even won a few fights making her mushrooms grow out of someone's throat so they couldn't really breathe, so if you think--

[ Okay, that was actually pretty disturbing, now he's thinking about it. Beetlejuice is giving him something else to shift onto. ]

I don't think you really believe that...

...No, but you're being a huge buzzkill right now.

_{[An indignant sniff.]}

[ He HUFFS right back at BJ, matching the energy. ]

I think it'd have been funnier if you at least asked him first. Then at least we'd have gotten to see his reaction. You just hit and run. Almost cowardly if you ask me.

[ Oh, is that why, Kirishima? ]

Edited 2021-12-12 08:13 (UTC)

[video] -- Action for Goldenrod?

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