[text]

[dejabrewed]

[ for once, sandalphon doesn't need to be pushed into asking the network. its a question he's been sitting on ever since the new year. it was getting closer and closer to the time where his life turned upside down. he knows he needs an outlet for all this grief...

but how?

the angel couldn't help but remember jinx's words about reaching out. as sandalphon weakly stared at his poketch screen, open to post a voice recording, he found himself unable to speak. he had to post, or else he knows he'll start to feel like he's drowning in his own despair. instead of forcing it, he switches to text, and with shaky hands begins to type. ]

What do people do to honor the dead? I've heard of some customs, but not all of them are clear. I'd like some direction for an old friend of mine.

[ 'an old friend' was putting it lightly. sandalphon still didn't know the right words to describe his relationship with lucifer. ]

Comments

[puddlesoverdios]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

Where I am from, it depends on one's closeness to the dead. Men wear a simple black band around their arm for a time. Though lighting candles depending on one's religious affiliation isn't out of the question, either.

[dejabrewed]

[ it takes him a bit to reply. no one, not even the singularity, ever said 'i'm sorry'. it was a lot. ]

Is there any significance as to the color black for the band they wear? Religious affiliation affects how one honors a deceased loved one, as well?

Even so, I will definitely light a candle. It'd be fitting, as one of his adjutants presided over fire.

[puddlesoverdios]

I'm glad to have been of some help, then. Is there anything that you need, though? A hot meal can go a long way in soothing the soul. Or a good, warm drink.

[bestswordmaster]

[What a question. There are a lot of things Felix could say about honoring the dead. A lot he could say about grieving. In the end, he decides on this:]

in my homeland we often erect statues or tombstones and place flowers or weapons there as tribute.
a sword laid across a gravestone is said to send a similar blade to the departed
so they can cut a clear path to the Goddess' side.
idk if any of that is true but
it's what we do.
don't let anyone take your ability to mourn away from you.
don't let them tell you it was an honorable death
or you should be grateful for their sacrifice
or they're in a better place.
none of that bullshit.
it's OK to grieve.
but don't let yourself wallow.
don't get lost in it.
honoring the dead is for our benefit
not that of the dead.
they're gone and they don't care what you do.
so make sure you remember that the living need you more than your memories do.

[Okay, so that was more than he intended to say. But it's sent, so whatever.

A minute later, another message comes:]

oh.
and there's a pokemon called cubone.
if you catch one
it might help you.

[He doesn't bother to specify why; Sandalphon can use his Pokedex as well as anyone else.]

[dejabrewed]

[ 'don't let anyone take your ability to mourn away from you.'

'it's OK to grieve. but don't let yourself wallow.'

those words hit a lot harder than the angel was expecting.

he was the supreme primarch now-- a title that lucifer once held. now sandalphon was burdened with the weight and reputation. there was a lot of reputation to uphold. but he didn't know how lucifer coped after the rebellion. he may never know. but he's not lucifer. he's sandalphon. and those words make it almost impossible to breathe, tears threatening to spill. there was so much to mourn for.

so, so much. ]

Thank you for reminding me of that.
Your homeland's tradition of placing tombstones with flowers... I believe my old friend would like that.
His death was not honorable, nor am I grateful. However, I believe he would appreciate at least having a mark on this world, even if it is through a tombstone.

[ he makes a mental note about the cubone. maybe he'll pick one up. ]

Video

[lightningbearer]

Geddoe's not usually the type to get involved with other people's personal affairs, but something about that question really hits home. Maybe something to do with the fact that, on top of all the people he'd already outlived, he'd just seen two more old friends die in the war he'd so recently finished fighting.

That said, the format of the post does pose a slight problem: Geddoe's a decent-sized guy to begin with, meaning the Pokégear tends to be a bit small in his hands. But he also habitually wears gloves at virtually all times, which makes typing... difficult, at best. Not to mention, this technology is still pretty new to him. Which means after a few increasingly frustrating attempts to write a reply, he finally gives up and randomly hits the button for one of the other formats, instead.

"Drinking's pretty common. Either having a drink in someone's memory, or offering a libation. In some places people make shrines to honor and remember their dead. Or sometimes people do things in that person's name. It can be pretty different from place to place."

Somehow, he manages to say all that without any apparent change in expression. Then again, his default setting seems to be 'stoic' anyway, so that probably helps. Just do excuse Geddoe's decidedly inexpert handling of the 'gear, the image is probably at an odd angle and there may or may not be a blurry thumb in the edge of the frame...

[dejabrewed]

[ sandalphon doesn't trust himself enough to respond with video, so he just doesn't. but the drinking... ]

Liquor is still a strange substance to me, but if it is held in high regard when it comes to the dead, then surely he might appreciate that.

[lightningbearer]

Well, voice would be fine too. Geddoe doesn't really care beyond the fact that he's not in the mood to deal with trying to type. In any case, though, he does feel a need to at least respond to that remark.

"... More like it's held in high regard by the living. Milk or juices can go foul, even water is safest when it's fresh. But liquor can be stored a long time, or hauled a long distance, without going bad. You can drink it, use it in cooking, even clean a wound with it if you have to. It's useful to have around, and most people enjoy drinking it.

"When people really want to honor someone, they use what's important or precious to themselves. It's things that are regarded highly by the living that many use to honor the dead."

[a_sin_for_him]

I've found a toast and the revisiting of fond memories to be helpful.

[dejabrewed]

Interesting... I'm assuming that is a private affair?

[a_sin_for_him]

It's a private thing for me, but I know it's common for others to reminisce in a group sort of setting. I suppose it depends on what one is comfortable with.

[text]

[neverfinishanyth]

There is a day of the year where we visit the graves and places where the dead rest, and we bring them flowers and little baked goods. I do not know what the dead gain out of this, admittedly, but it is rather nice, I think, to remember them.

[dejabrewed]

It feels especially important to remember him, given that he... he did a lot more for the world than one might imagine, and yet was unable to enjoy the world he helped. I figured cementing the fact he existed would ease the pain.

Are you aware of the date, so I can make note of it?

Video; UN: CheckTheSyllabus

[perfectteatime]

My condolences, friend.

People do it many different ways where I am from, but honestly I think the best way would be to do something that would be meaningful to you and them. Something personal is always better than tradition.

However, I am an archbishop where I am from, if you would like me to perform a blessing or host a service I would gladly do so.

[dejabrewed]

Something personal... I have an idea, but I fear it might be too much to revisit this early.

[ remembering those halcyon days was enough to make it almost impossible to breathe. he manages to compose himself before sending another message. a blessing, huh... ]

I have no affiliation with religion, however... I feel as if it would help. What does a service entail?

Text

[heartofalioness]

[She doesn't connect this to the angel man she very vaguely remembers in

My condolences... Others have mentioned black, but on my planet we used pink to honor the fallen. We would also plant flowers and other plants in their memory.

[dejabrewed]

[ now that's different. pink was a color he associated with his friend, given how his silver hair and wings often had a light pink hue to them. besides, black was way too despair inducing, for one such as lucifer. ]

Thank you. Everyone's condolences are... welcome, to say the least.

Pink, hm? Are there certain ways you use it? As for the flowers, could it be any one, or do they need to be pink as well?

Action

[fayblood]

"Sandalphon?"

Shrike might not be very experienced in dealing with other people, or familiar with the nuance of social interactions. That doesn't mean he isn't observant, however, and he's capable of putting pieces together when his traveling companion starts acting a bit more sullen than his usual. So, one evening when he spots him poking at his Pokégear, Shrike approaches.

"Is something wrong?"

[dejabrewed]

[ he spares a glance at shrike. his eyes are red and swollen from crying, but he can't bring himself to care. he wonders how he'd even explain this whole situation. he knows the other's seen his wings, but the story behind them was more painful than happy. ]

... Everything's alright. Don't pay too much attention.

[ a defense mechanism because bringing back the memories was too much at the moment. ]

[apshot]

I think the better question is what do YOU wanna do.

How do YOU wanna remember them. People can make all of the shitty suggestions that they want but if it doesn't hold any real meaning to you and whoever you're trying to honor then what's the point?

[dejabrewed]

My friend appreciated all forms of human culture, including what they do with the dead. Unfortunately, I don't know many of them, which is the reason for this post. If I can find some ritual made from humans and add my own flavor to it, it'll be enough, for both myself and him.

[ can't do what you don't know. ]

[moneymatters]

It depends, honestly. There are almost as many ways to honor the dead as there are cultures that make them. A common way though is in some form of art. Song, poem, sculpture, whatever way a person is comfortable expressing themselves and the person they lost. Sometimes it can be doing something in their honor and name, or perhaps creating a little altar somewhere for them. You can also carry something that reminds you of them, or a little piece OF them if you have it- a bit of clothing, a favorite piece of jewelry of theirs. In times past this has even included a curl of their hair.

[A bit of a ghastly tradition, that one, for him. But he's not going to tell someone how to grieve; he has some standards, after all.]

If you can think of no other way, often it can come down to just living your best life. Knowing they'd want to see you succeed, to thrive, perhaps do something that had meaning to you both.

[dejabrewed]

I've been doing some of those things and I've failed to notice. What nonsense. However, this was very informative, and I will try to implement some of your information in this ritual. I truly appreciate the response.

[freckledarcher]

Well, let's see back where I'm from we bury the person, place flowers on their grave, and pray to the Goddess that their soul has found peace. I know that's the formal way of doing things. I'll pray on occasion to the Goddess when I need to talk, but I don't want to worry someone.

Another way I honor the dead is by doing an activity that we enjoyed together. I'll cook a meal that reminds me of my parents or brother or a book that my adopted father enjoyed. While there are times I do think about them I don't wallow over it anymore or constantly ask the Goddess why it had happened.

It becomes easier to recognize the signs of when I start wallowing. When that happens I go take a walk or bake something to help settle my mind. Other times I'll get fresh flowers to place on their grave.

[dejabrewed]

An activity that you used to do together... That only makes me wish we had more time together.

[ being confined to a garden and then a long prison sentence did not exactly make it easy for him to have more time with lucifer, especially because they spent so much time apart. he struggles to compose himself as bittersweet memories flood his mind, but manages at least something in a separate message. ]

I might have to take a walk myself, all things considered. I've been in this room far too long. Thank you for your input.