victory_road | ❖ Act & Exposition, VR edt. [Permanent Catch-All]

Sylvain is so quiet that Felix starts to worry, but he doesn't fill the silence - it's not his style. He just holds onto Sylvain's hand instead, hoping that will be enough.

Being back here after everything, with Sylvain once again by his side, brings back some of the intense feelings he struggled with that day last April. Struggled, even though they were intensely positive, because he hadn't been that happy in years, and it was overwhelming. And for once, he let himself be overwhelmed instead of trying so hard to hold those feelings back that they spilled out as anger. He let himself smile without reservation, spoke the truth that was deep in his heart - he even let himself cry a little. All for Sylvain, so that he would know without any doubt that Felix loved him for who he was, and that he made Felix happy.

(Hell, he let everyone throw them a party. Never has there been a clearer sign that Felix loves Sylvain more than anything else in the world, truly.)

The silence stretches on and Felix lets it. He's not sure what's going through Sylvain's mind right now. For his own part, Felix is beginning to realize that there are things he needs to let go of, too. And...letting go of things has never been his strong suit, regardless of the advice he often gives aggressively to others. But it isn't fair to Sylvain to keep expecting him to trail behind his own footsteps.

He turns to look at Sylvain when he finally speaks up. "You...wouldn't mind what, exactly?"

It's a good question. Sylvain's nebulous answer is a result of his own worries fogging out a direct answer, and he's perfectly aware of that. So he tries to gather himself, and formulate this in a cohesive way.

"I wouldn't mind getting married here," he tries again. "I wouldn't mind getting married... no, I-" except he would. If it was anyone but Felix, he absolutely would mind. But this is Felix. He already promised Felix his life, and his death. Marriage doesn't seem so far off when he thinks of it that way.

"You make me happy, Fe. Truly, in a way I can't quite describe. I wouldn't mind getting married to you, here."

I wouldn't mind getting married to you here.

Felix knows he should be glad to hear that - he should be elated. Sylvain came all this way just to see the place where Felix had married him, to decide whether or not he was ready, and now he's saying he is. It would be easy to simply accept this and move forward.

But with the way Sylvain stammers and hesitates, the way he seems to be debating with himself - this isn't right. It doesn't feel right. Not all of it, at least. Some of it, though...he makes Sylvain happy. He has made Sylvain happy, here in this world, in the present. That's worth a hundred weddings all on its own.

Still, his heart pounds as he moves to face Sylvain rather than stand beside him, still holding onto his hand. "Sylvain...I'm glad, but...I don't want you to do this for me. If you're going to do it, do it because it's what you want. 'I don't mind' isn't the same thing as 'I want to.' And..."

Felix looks up, letting their eyes meet. "And if you did want to, I wouldn't ask you to do it here. Don't...don't try to fill your own shoes. Forget that you were here before and act for your own happiness, here and now. I don't want to marry you in a place you don't remember for yourself, in the shadow of a past you never lived, out of some feeling of obligation to live up to my memories. I want to marry you somewhere that means something to you. To us."

Sylvain meets his gaze, and smiles. There's a quiet lapse between them, Sylvain seeming to be searching Felix's eyes for something. He doesn't explain what, but whatever it is, he sighs when he finds it. The soft smile broadens.

"I don't deserve you," he mutters quietly. It's not self-flagellating, just a soft, almost wistful musing that he really has ended up with his soulmate. Something he swore was stupid and unrealistic for a lot of years. But the gentle way Felix gives him permission to live free of so many expectations is a blessing for Sylvain.

"But I want to be worth all this love. And I know you'll say I already am. But I want to do better. I want to feel worth it, like I've earned it. Like I've made a life for us, together. So yes, I want to marry you. Let's find somewhere that can be ours."

Felix resists the urge to look away, even though he doesn't understand what Sylvain's looking so closely for. He makes a face at this talk of 'deserving' him, but Sylvain is smiling - genuinely - and he goes on to explain further, and although Felix still thinks the idea that Sylvain needs to 'earn' his love is completely ridiculous, he can understand Sylvain wanting to put in the effort to make this relationship truly his own, to feel like he didn't just skip over the part where they decided, together, to do this.

Felix's face breaks out into a real, full smile; he exhales in a quiet, contented laugh that's as much relief and a release of tension as anything else. "Okay."

Then a thought occurs to him. He looks down and brings up Sylvain's hand - the left one - to run a thumb over the lower knuckle of his ring finger. "Then I'll get to work finding a new ring for you. And..."

He shifts his gaze to look at his own left hand, where his own ring sits. This...could be a little bit harder, but...it's not like he has to give it up. Or even stop wearing it. He has other fingers - a whole other hand, in fact. He licks his lips, the flutter of nerves making a faint, brief comeback, before he takes off his ring with a decisive motion and puts it back on the ring finger of his right hand.

He glances up at Sylvain with a wry smile. "I suppose I'll need a new one, as well."

Sylvain lets the direct eye-contact go as a relief for Felix. He's content just to watch his face, the motion of his hands. Just to exist in his presence, and keep Felix in his sight. Felix has always been that comfort to him. Knowing he's there means more than Sylvain can possibly explain.

His mind's a little foggy, there's a lot of thoughts going on to muddle it up. But he follows Felix's voice, and then processes what he's watching a moment after. Sylvain's eyes go wide, and he glances up to Felix's eyes, then back to his hands.

Something wells up in his chest that threatens to choke him. His heart, probably, given it's freaking out in his chest in a wild pace. Some part of him thinks he should protest. That Felix already put in so much, he shouldn't have to give up anything. But words are horribly scarce right now, and he settles for a choked sound. Maybe it's a laugh or a sob, hard to tell, but his smile ends up betraying him.

His own hand soothes over the imprint of where Felix's ring once sat. He gingerly brings the hand to his lips, and kisses it ever-so gently.

"We'll find something perfect for us both." A slow beat. "Thank you, Fe. For everything... you're my world, and I'm so happy to be here with you. Happy Birthday. I hope I get to spend every single one with you for the rest of our lives."

Felix has refrained from telling Sylvain much of anything about his time here while Sylvain was gone unless directly asked. But the truth is, he felt lost during that time. Unmoored. It wasn't like in Fodlan, when he might have gone weeks without seeing Sylvain, but they could at least exchange letters. He knew he could see Sylvain if he just rode for a few days. This was existing in a world that didn't have Sylvain in it at all, and Felix didn't know how to do that. So Sylvain might not be able to explain that feeling of comfort, but Felix knows it well nonetheless.

It's just as well that Sylvain doesn't protest, because Felix wouldn't have budged. He knows better than most what it feels like to live in someone else's shadow, when every step he takes is expected to fill someone else's footprint. He would never want Sylvain to feel that way, and besides - they have gone through different things. Their relationship is different, just by virtue of differing experiences. Felix won't ask Sylvain to simply slip into a role created by someone else. They'll do this right.

That kiss to his knuckles brings a faint flush to his cheeks from the pure romance in it; marriage or not, that kind of thing is still new to Felix, still makes him feel self-conscious. But he's far from wanting to pull his hand away.

The more Sylvain says, the tighter Felix's throat feels. He swallows hard. He could, perhaps, try to articulate in words everything he feels, but...he's no good at it, and what little ability he does have ought to be saved for writing new vows. So instead, he throws his arms around Sylvain and squeezes tightly, resting his cheek on the other man's chest.

"Of course you will, idiot," he mutters. "...I'm grateful, too. For you."

Sylvain's arms coil around Felix just as well, cradling him close. The sea breeze that crests the waves and presses around them might have chilled him a moment ago. But right here and now, holding Felix, he's never felt warmer or more at home.

It's a new promise, but it's starkly familiar. Life and death used to feel so interchangeable he'd never specified to Felix that he'd meant either and both back when they were kids. Now he wants to make it abundantly clear that his life, their lives, are for each other. Not just to rush death at the end.

And this whole sweep of emotions hits him again. And if he wants to keep the waterworks under control he's got to get something kinetic. So he drags Felix off his feet in that embrace, and braces his arms against the back of his thighs to keep him up. Laughing, he's as bright as the setting sun burning gold behind him.

"I love you." A gasped thing at first, then again, stronger, as sure as can be, "I love you!"

Sylvain never had to specify; Felix assumed from the beginning that it would be both, and he would make a new promise every single day for the rest of his life if he thought it would ensure that Sylvain never again feels as though he wants to rush to the 'death' part.

Sylvain scoops him up into his arms and the sight of him, so full of joy, gorgeous under the blazing dusk, makes Felix forget to complain about this unsolicited manhandling. His own smile is wide and unfettered, for once, and his eyes are bright and soft, glittering gold in the vivid light.

"I love you too, Sylvain." It's quieter, but no less sure, and he follows it up by leaning down to press a kiss to Sylvain's lips, much sweeter and less impatient than most of his kisses are.

Sylvain melts into the kiss, heart thundering in his chest. Felix loves him, even if he's always known it, it feels so bright now. Like they've stolen the colors from the setting sun behind Sylvain and kept it between them.

When he draws back to finally breathe, Sylvain catches the golden light cover Felix's form, the honey-bright color in his eyes, and feels like he melts all over again. Damn, he's really got it bad doesn't he? His Felix...

"Sorry about the manhandling," he says after a moment. A breathless laugh chases it, but he also doesn't set Felix down. Seems he likes Felix in his arms, dignified or not. "Couldn't help it, y'know? Heh, maybe I should carry you back home too?"

It still takes Felix by surprise, sometimes, to realize how happy he is. It feels - not fragile, not exactly, but...precious. Not like the desperate, constant, grueling struggle to keep the people he cares about safe that he's lived with in Fodlan since the Tragedy, but a softer sort of appreciation for what he has, and how far they've all come. Felicity was right - learning to literally capture moments in time with a camera really has helped him see more of what's right in front of him, rather than simply clinging to it.

Seeing the open emotion in Sylvain's eyes right now is almost too much. He will not cry today, absolutely not. He ducks his head to bury his face in Sylvain's hair, inhaling slowly and deeply to breathe in the scent of him.

He picks it back up again, though, when Sylvain speaks, and he scoffs. "You're not sorry at all. But I suppose I can accept it just this once."

He has to pause for a second again when Sylvain says carry you back home, so casually and easily. Home. He doesn't intend to say it today, at first - that home isn't and has never been a place, unless that place is by Sylvain's side. He means to wait. But this moment is precious, and Felix knows now from painful experience that he could lose the opportunity to tell Sylvain these things at any moment. Still, he has to bury his face again first.

"You can't carry me 'home,'" he mumbles, face heating up a little. "I'm already at home."

If he could shrug, he would, but that would mean jostling Felix. And Sylvain is quite happy with where his boyfr- fiancé is.

"You're right, I'm not sorry... and it's gonna happen again." As if the beaming grin on his face wasn't proof enough. Then Felix says that and for a moment Sylvain feels his throat tighten, and his heart swell with warmth. Home, huh?

"When did you get so sappy, Fe?" Sylvain tries to sound confident, but there's a faint wobble in his tone that betrays he's really in his feelings. He likes it, but don't tell anyone, Felix.

Felix hears the way Sylvain's voice betrays him, but instead of calling him out in return, he scoffs; and if it sounds just a little more like a laugh than a scoff, he's just going to ignore that. "Call me that again and I'll throw you into the ocean. Now shut up and put me down, the shops won't stay open forever."

The jewelry shops, he means. This may not be Goldenrod, with its enormous department store, but that's fine. This time, they're going to do this together.

"I'd say you're bluffing, but that water looks way too cold to chance it." Sylvain barks out an honest laugh, and does relent to putting Felix down. He does linger with his hands on Felix's hips though.

"We're going shopping?" He tilts his head like a curious dog.

"When do I ever bluff?"

Every time he threatens to cut anyone in half, actually, but who's counting? Felix really would throw Sylvain into the ocean, though.

"We are." He doesn't elaborate. He just takes one of Sylvain's hands in his own and starts walking.

It's not a terribly far walk to the city center, where most of the early evening crowd is bustling home for dinner or preparing to go out and catch some Pokemon that only come out at night. Felix ignores them all, leading them to a jewelry store where the owner's Sableye greets them.

Sylvain's sense of self-preservation is pretty warped, but even he knows better than to call Felix's bluff on his bluffs. So he just breathes out a knowing little laugh and lets himself be lead.

Olivine has become familiar enough that he knows about where Felix is going, yet also doesn't make a move to disengage from his fiancé. It's cute watching Felix's determined stride while clutching his hand.

Seeing the jewelry store makes him realize exactly what's going on.

"Oh." He says quite helpfully. "Heh, alright, no one is allowed to call me the insatiable one around here anymore. You're already ring shopping," and leans in to kiss Felix's temples. At least he makes a ploy of starting to look over a few things in the case just so Felix can't say he's not taking it seriously. Ignore the cheeky grin he's wearing.

Felix glares up at Sylvain with a huff, though he doesn't protest the kiss. "I just said I was going to work on it, didn't I? What's the point in waiting? Besides, you made me send that stupid selfie to everyone, so now they're going to expect to see rings when we get back."

He doesn't really think it was stupid. He loved it. But he can't say that.

Last time Felix did this, he was choosing a ring without Sylvain's input, so the one he ended up giving him was characteristically simple and minimalist in design. This time, Sylvain can just tell him what he'd prefer, but Felix still insists on picking out a set of options to present first. It may seem strange for him to fixate on something he would have called 'frivolous' a year ago, but when it comes to Sylvain, he wants to get things right.

So by the time Felix is finished, the Sableye is carefully laying his chosen options out on a velvet cloth for Sylvain to peruse. "Now you can pick one."

Sylvain could argue that no one is going to expect anything different considering the circumstances of they've acted like a married couple their whole lives anyway. But hey, who is he to dampen Felix's excitement? So he laughs and just leans over Felix's shoulder, trying to get glimpses of what his fiancé might being eying up. Watching him be so intent on something he wants is pretty cute.

Once the Sableye has withdrawn its claws from the different bands, Sylvain starts from one end of the selection and moves down the line. Each one he gives a thoughtful pause too, and seems to glance between the rings and Felix often. Like he's gauging which one reminds him of Felix more, or suits him on an aesthetic level. Because he definitely wants to be able to see this ring every day, and immediately be aware that he is Felix's at a glance.

Finally, he drags a particular one closer, looks Felix over one more time, and nods.

"How about this one?"

Felix allows this backseat shopping, and when Sylvain starts comparing the options, he feels a little antsy. But he makes himself wait without urging Sylvain to hurry it up or anything, even though he doesn't know what those frequent glances are for.

Finally, Sylvain chooses one, and Felix gives it one last look with a critical eye before he nods. The one Sylvain chose has a nice, clear space on the inside for an inscription, too...

"Good." He turns to the Sableye with a faint smile that looks almost triumphant. "We'll take that one."

Then he turns back to Sylvain. "Your turn."

❖ Act & Exposition, VR edt. [Permanent Catch-All]

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