Open;

[amaure]

Who: Emet-Selch(?) and YOU!
Where: Around Goldenrod
When: 1/28
Summary: Freaky Friday shenanigans!
Rating: pg?? It's mainly gonna be "Emet" trying to abduct people he takes a fancy to.
Log:

[Should you be unfortunate enough to be walking around Goldenrod on this strange, perhaps even freaky, day then you might be treated to quite the sight, or perhaps worse. For those who know him, Emet-Selch (or as some know him, Solus) is looking rather frantic, yet there's a wide grin on his features that pairs questionably with a similar wideness of his decidedly very open eyes. His hair is a mess, and he's wearing what appears to be a maroon smoking jacket, black satin pajama pants, and one woolen, argyle sock. Terrible clothing for the end of January, but he does not seem too bothered by it!

Meanwhile, as this manic and wild Emet-Selch seems fit to run to and fro like a child hopped up on Mountain Dew, he seems to be followed by an annoyed and sluggish Cofagrigus. Lacking the usual shit-eating grin they're known for, it might not be too hard to put two and two together. Not that this equations matters much, particularly if you are unlucky enough to make eye contact with Emet-Selch, or perhaps bear witness to what happens to those who do:

A) Within moments he is upon you, all 6'4.5" of him, opening his smoking jacket to reveal a black tank top beneath (thank Arceus), he then attempts to envelop you within the jacket, as if capturing you. In fact, that's exactly what he's trying to do! Fight for your life, or maybe plead with the bored Cofagrigus who doesn't seem all too happy with what's happening, nor does it feel inspired to lift a ghostly finger to help. Silent as the grave, that one.

B) However, should you be fortunate enough to merely bear witness to him doing this exact tactic to some poor soul, maybe you can help them escape this maniac's clutches? Again, his accompanying Cofagrigus looks rather resigned to this bizarre scenario, despite how agitated it looks. Should he get a good enough hold, he will quite literally attempt to make off with his bounty, and being the larger man that he is, this will not prove too difficult of a task!

Someone needs to stop this menace, will it be you?]

Comments

oh my fucking god the CLOTHES...

[cyan_maid]

[I mean, this depends if "Emet-Selch" takes a fancy to a Jane who is also decidedly strangely dressed, clothes rumpled and out of place and inside-out when they oughtn't be, as she drags her Audino along with an incredible stream of chatter-]

- And we're gonna get the fancy coffees 'cause I can buy them now, right? They'll let me buy 'em 'cause I'm you today? I want the biggest, fanciest coffee they got, and three cookies, and a cake pop, and you can have whatever you want, and-

[Sweet Arceus in the sky with diamonds, that doesn't sound like the Jane Crocker anyone here is familiar with.]

They're both a mess...

[amaure]

[Considering his present prey has seemingly slipped away (somehow), she is certainly the next most interesting target. This "Emet-Selch" does not know Jane, so what difference there may or may not be do not matter as he hurries over to her, grin splitting his face like a gash, wild eyes flashing with obvious excitement.

He's wordless in his approach, but right as he's about to engulf her with his jacket, two ghostly hands grapple him, and pull him back.

You see, the others didn't earn such action from the irritated Cofagrigus, but perhaps Jane deserves such assistance. This doesn't make the smile falter, instead the Pokémon is just offered a cursory glance, before "Emet" begins to struggle in silence, but wordless though this struggle is, it does nothing to keep the eyes off of them...]

c h a o s

[cyan_maid]

[The Audino being dragged along with Jane sees this, and just. Looks over to the Cofagrigus, meeting its eyes.

There is a moment of solidarity there.

Thank fuck for intervening sir, that would've been the weirdest shit to witness.

"Jane", meanwhile, watches this all happen with wide, blinking eyes, the epitome of "???", confusion incarnate.]

...Hewwo?

[Oh no why did she say that unironically]

[amaure]

[Okay, that's enough to tip him off for certain that this is not Jane, but her suffering the same affliction he is. Which is why, while grappling the delightfully thrashing Cofagrigus in his body, he looks to the Audino with a knowing glance.

If only he could speak at the moment, but he can't. Well, he can, but all that comes out is decidedly not the words he'd want to say, so he might as well be mute at the moment. However, so too is his body, seeing as his Cofagrigus has never said a single thing the entire time he's had it, and it makes no effort now. No, instead, all efforts is attempting to free itself from those ghostly hands, which is proving futile.

Another ghostly hand emerges from the aura around the Cofagrigus, offering the Audino (and Jane's body) a gesture of greeting, seeing as that's the best he can do at the moment.]

[cyan_maid]

[The Audino waves weakly back, and then points to Emet's body. Would...would you like an additional set of hands for this?

"Jane", meanwhile, continues to do the bigeyes blinking, very confused. Humans usually respond to a greeting, right? Did she say it wrong? Must ruminate.]

[hythlodaeus]

[Another lovely pair has shown up in town this day. Though it seems they were trying to complete a shopping trip, it now seems difficult to keep Hythlodaeus on task. Especially when Cofagrigus as Emet-Selch decides to strike.]

[And Tropius as Hythlodaeus, sort of unsteady on his feet, just leans forward to both steady himself and lap at the top of his head, mussing his hair as Hythlodaeus coughs on the top of his head as hair gets caught in his mouth. Hythlodaeus clearly doesn't have enough saliva to pull this off as he normally does.]

[amaure]

[Unperturbed by the lapping of his hair, Emet-Selch keeps that firm grasp around him as he attempts to hoist the large man off the ground. He is capable despite the size difference, but it's not exactly a simple task. However, the problem from there is moving with his acquired bounty. He doesn't, not yet, instead he seems stuck standing there with this larger man in his arms, but despite the struggle his smile is never fading!

Cofagrigus, not far off from this circus, is watching with a bored expression. Clearly that's Banania, and he's left uncertain of who between them had the rawer deal. He's well acquainted with that tongue, but not so much in his hair, and he's left grateful that he isn't in his body at the moment to experience the sensation. Tearing his eyes away from that embarrassment, he looks to the tropius that is clearly Hythlodaeus, growing ghostly limbs to walk over to him.

He can't speak, but he can communicate through sign language! Who knew this would become so useful for such niche situations as this?]

I see I am not alone in this ridiculous nonsense. I know not whether to be glad or worried.

[hythlodaeus]

[Hythlodaeus doesn't super have hands right now, but. He can try! He leans back, sitting on his fat dinosaur ass to sign to best of his stumpy armed abilities.]

There will likely not be lasting damage.

Except to you. Your body will definitely sustain an injury if this is allowed to continue.

[Banania begins to wriggle in a way that indicates that he has already forgotten that he does not have wings and cannot fly. Unsure of what to do with his limbs, he wraps his legs around Cofagrigus' waist as he seems to be climbing with his arms?]

[amaure]

[He's definitely squinting at those stumpy arms trying to make sense of it. After a moment, he seems to get the idea. Especially when he looks to that...display. Facepalming, or as close as he can to it, he extends two of those ghostly arms to attempt to separate the two.

Cofagrigus doesn't seem to like this, or as much as he's capable of showing some sort of dislike, as he struggles against both Banania and Emet. With the other two hands, he signs at Hythlodaeus.]

Mind giving me a hand? I really would rather not harm either of our bodies, if I can avoid it.

[hythlodaeus]

[Hythlodaues pads forward to grab Cofagrigus by the collar in his big, stupid mouth, hoisting him upwards as Banania starts to loose his grip, taking Cofagrigus' lounge pants with him to the ground.]

[amaure]

[If Emet were capable of letting out a sound he would, but instead he releases Banania immediately and uses those ghostly hands to block any view of his body's unmentionables! In fact, he might be trying to take his body from Hythlodaeus entirely so that he might stuff him inside of his sarcophagus-like body to spare himself the embarrassment.

Sure, he can deal with the frantic actions of a madman, but he does not need to flash Goldenrod! He has become rather lax in his old age, but not quite that lax! Meanwhile, Cofagrigus barely has a reaction to any of this, basically being picked up and pulled around like a useless, stupid ragdoll!]

[hythlodaeus]

[Banania lands on his ass with the lounge pants in his hands, looking frantically around. Banania doesn't know a lot of things, but he knows people love to wear pants outside. He stands and tries to put the pants back on Cofagrigus, but not skillfully. He manages to tie the pants around his body sideways, then tucking the loose leg into the newly made waistband.]

[Hythlodaeus lets go, unable to maintain his grip while laughing.]

[amaure]

[With the pants on and Cofagrigus stuffed inside of his own, actual body, Emet seals it shut. Sure, there's some thrashing about and banging going on in there, but that's better than this absolutely fucking shitshow.

However, Emet isn't laughing, and only offers Hythlodaeus a withering stare. While someone could say that was entirely accidental, he isn't so convinced.]

Was that truly necessary?

[He gestures, but it might be hard to make out with how he keeps rattling with all that fussing going on inside of him.]

[hythlodaeus]

[Banania lumbers up to him like a child not totally in control of his motor skills yet and embraces Emet in a big hug.]

What did I do?

[He signs back with the expected clarity of his brontosaurus body and shrugs to the best of his ability.]

Is he going to hurt himself? Yourself? The both of you, really? Why did you let him outside?

[amaure]

[Emet frowns all the more deeply when he gets hugged. Pushing Banania away, using one of his ghostly arms to actively lift him up so he can keep him away from him, he looks to Hythlodaeus with a sidelong glance.]

You know what you did. It isn't my fault he escaped, he was out the door ere I realized what had happened. So I decided I would observe him to see what he'd do.

[There's another loud thud, which jostles Emet a bit. He rolls his eyes.]

He might harm me, but what choice do I truly have at this point?

[hythlodaeus]

Perhaps we could roll him up in a rug?

[Tropius wriggles in his grasp, grunting, before he realizes that he can actually talk, too.]

Hey, put me down!

[He speaks even more slowly than Hythlodaeus does.]