[video]

[bugbeverage]

Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please!

_{[Beetlejuice barges onto the network, wasting no time in greeting everyone in a deep, dramatic voice. He's framed his face in the lense.]}

After months of hard work and several ramen take-out orders, please welcome to the stage the new, improved, and significantly larger--THE ARTFUL DODGER!

_{[The camera whips around to show a bashful Greedent sitting in the middle of a wooded path. He's holding a little flat cap in his paws. From either side of him leaves are tossed into the air like confetti. Beetlejuice accompanies this by imitating the sound of a roaring crowd.]}

Thank you, thank you! It was anybody's game but it seems Dodgey Boy has decided to be the first of my incredible team to evolve!

In other news, I've got this pretty gnarly rash--think I slept in something poisonous last night out here on the trail. Anybody out there know anything about medicinal herbs or whatever? Any boy scouts? Or hippies? This itch is killin' me, look!

_{[Thankfully before Beetlejuice can yank his striped breeches down to show the irritated area, his thumb presses the End Transmission button by accident.]}

Comments

Action

[crystalmaster]

[Radley is startled by the loudness of the transmission. He's about to congratulate the guy on his Pokemon when the topic turns to the rash. Before he can decide how to react, the screen goes black. He leans back, looking to his Pokemon.]

... Well, that was ... different.

[His Eevees chorus in agreement.]

Video

[wrappedwarm]

[Sir, you're about to be chewed out by a ten-year-old.]

Why did you sleep in the plants and not the tent? [IT'S STILL COLD, YOU'LL GET FROSTBITE MISTER.]

video

[bugbeverage]

Just dozed off! Work hard, play harder! You know!

[wrappedwarm]

... I don't know.

...



Were you drunk?

[bugbeverage]

Oh, probably!

[wrappedwarm]

That explains it... [Dully. She'd seen some things.] You should see one of the nurses if you don't know what it is.

[bugbeverage]

Oh, don't you worry kid, I'll be sure to if I don't die before I get there!

[wrappedwarm]

... Your pokemon will probably drag you there if you do die.

[...Comforting.]

[bugbeverage]

They sure would! They're the best! Though Dodger might start eating my face. Can't blame 'em.

[wrappedwarm]

[She gave a little nod.]

That's what animals do...[A beat] But squirrels eat nuts.

[bugbeverage]

Oh ho, real squirrels do, but Dodger? I've seen this guy wolf down a pizza like it was nothing and that was before he upgraded!

[wrappedwarm]

...Pizza? Is that a food?

Video

[gentlemanlayton]

Well, I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who seemingly exposed himself on this communication network.
[He chuckles.]

I'm no Boy Scout, but what I can tell you is that I am unfamiliar with the local flora of this place. If I were to guess, maybe there is a native variant of the Toxicodendron genus of plants here. Those are the ones that we know to be Poison Ivy, Poison Oak and Poison Sumac. Did you know there is a Japanese practice of turning the wax from such irritant plants into candles? They apparently produce a smokeless flame.
[Back on topic, Layton. There's a man with itchy bits on the loose.]

As for the remedy to your situation, if my deduction is some form of correct, I would suggest applying calamine to the area. But, that is to assume that such a remedy exists. Surely there must be a local equivalent.

[bugbeverage]

_{[His eyes glaze over slightly as the Professor goes about his explanation which is, by and large, informative but...as far as Beetlejuice is concerned...not very helpful.]}

Well if you know where I can find that in the woods, I'm all ears.

[gentlemanlayton]

[For someone who is all ears they didn't seem to be listening very well.]

Ah, I see. You did not come prepared to these woods. Well, you could always cleanse the area with soap. The thing that causes the irritant is the sap, and it lingers on the skin. Unfortunately in your case there's no just getting rid of it. You're just going to have to wait it out.

[bugbeverage]

_{[It's just one of his charming personality traits!]}

Sap, huh? Well, if I find a river I'll be sure to take a good dunk.

Video

[lifebloomsanew]

Congratulations to your darling friend!

You should get an ointment for your rash. Ointments are wonderful.

[bugbeverage]

_{[Oh, well, HELLO.]}

An ointment sounds fantastic but gosh darn it there just don't seem to be any shops out here in the literal wilderness.

[lifebloomsanew]

I'm sure you have a friend in a town who could send it to you!

[bugbeverage]

Aahhhh ahah, sure I do!

_{[He scratches at his jaw, a tick he's developed over the years.]}

Great idea.

_{[He has no friends.]}

[lifebloomsanew]

Well there you go! You can send almost anything by the post here!

If you know someone in Goldenrod, I bet the department store has just what you need.

But if you don't, I'm not too far from a big town.

[bugbeverage]

And you can send it to me here in the middle of the woods? Boy how technology has advanced!

Hey, thanks a million, cotton candy queen!