[video] no one TOLD HIM this could happen

[nevercaught]

[The screen shows a few seconds of Jarlaxle’s smiling face, his rainbow-caped Sableye clinging to his shoulder, before the camera rotates and begins to pan over an evening campsite in what appears to be the outskirts of the Ilex Forest. A dark-skinned, white haired young woman—who some may recognize as Vierna Do’Urden—immediately stands to move out of frame as soon as she notices Jarlaxle is filming her, but his other companion, a man of middling years with equally dark skin and white hair, makes no motion to do so, choosing to ignore the camera instead.

The camera zooms in closer on this man, as a little Inkay drifts over and nuzzles him, burbling happily. The man gives a long-suffering sigh.]

”If I must.”

[The man gently takes hold of the sides of his Inkay and begins to… well, there’s no other words for it. He begins to play a flying game with the little pokemon, shifting her up and down in the air, back and forth, and rotating around in slow circles. And despite his resigned tone earlier, the man seems… content to be babying his tiny squid. There’s a softness to his expression that wasn’t there before. He raises the Inkay up once more, turning her upside-down and—

There’s a flash of light and suddenly the little Inkay is a much larger Malamar, who has effectively knocked her astounded trainer literally flat on his ass with her sudden evolution—but he still hasn’t let go of her. Nor does he when the happy Malamar continues her burbling in a deeper voice than before, wrapping her arm tentacles around her effectively pinned trainer.]

What a happy pair! [Jaraxle comments as voice-over, laughter all too clear in his voice and the sudden shakiness of the camera. His pinned companion turns his head to glare at him.]

”I’m going to kill you later.”

Comments

action bc he literally cant reach his pokegear right now

[psionicmolotov]

I will find something to feed you to. Slowly and painfully. In pieces, Jarlaxle! [ He's grousing aggressively in Undercommon from beneath his Malamar, who is elated that she can now hug him EVEN BETTER NOW. ]

also action

[nevercaught]

[Jarlaxle laughs the laugh of those who are not being pinned by their own pokemon.]

Oh, like I did after you showed the world how I fell out of the tree in pursuit of Euol?

[Turnabout is fair play, Kimmuriel.]

[psionicmolotov]

[ He knows this and yet he is offended anyway. How dare this happen to him. The audacity!! ]

Actively being a fool is a different circumstance entirely from an accident.

[nevercaught]

Exactly! And these were both accidents!

[There's an offended chittering at Jarlaxle's shoulder. He glances behind him.]

... Orbb. I meant that I was in pursuit of Orbb when I fell from that tree.

[HE JUST REFERRED TO HIS CREATURES BY THE WRONG NAMES. THIS IS ACTUALLY MORTIFYING.]

[psionicmolotov]

[ That elicits a mocking laugh from Kimmuriel, because even though he's suffering the greater misfortune in pretty much every conceivable way he can always find time to laugh at someone else accidentally fucking up. ]

[nevercaught]

You laugh now, but someday you will do the same with your own magical creatures and I will laugh at you in turn!

[psionicmolotov]

Me? Forget? Do you remember who you are talking to?

[ IF HE'S GOING TO BE STUCK LIKE THIS FOR A BIT HE'S TAKING FULL ADVANTAGE OF THE ONLY THING HE CAN DO

WHICH IS TALK SHIT ]

[nevercaught]

Perhaps you will not recall a wrong memory, but you will find yourself calling for the wrong one! It is inevitable!

[How many times had he already called for Krebbyg when he meant Soluun or Fel'rekt? Not to mention either of his nephews who had made their way to the surface, despite Beniago's half-elf disguise?]

[psionicmolotov]

[ He gives him an even more unimpressed look than usual, which should be nigh impossible given he's currently pinned underneath an affectionate squid nearly as big as he is.

But somehow, life finds a way. ]

You are embarrassing as ever. [ He says, despite being stuck under his Malamar and, due to it being the least effort, eyeballing him upside-down. ]

[nevercaught]

So says the drow who is being pinned by his squid-creature, [replies Jarlaxle tartly.]

[psionicmolotov]

And yet you still became flustered over a mistake.

[ He might be in an embarrassing position but you also got embarrassed over a completely unrelated thing!!

(neither of them are winning in this scenario) ]

[nevercaught]

Shut up, Kimmuriel.

[psionicmolotov]

[ lol. lmao. He's obviously grinning by now like the little shit he is. ]

Is that really all you can say, Jarlaxle?

[nevercaught]

Don't make me come over there and make you shut up.

[Possibly with his mouth. Jerk.]

video; un: wanderer

[noamuth]

[Vierna's contribution is filmed from the other side of the campsite, while her companions bicker in the background. Her smirking face is only kind of half in frame and she keeps her voice low, as she tries to covertly capture the argument over her shoulder.]

I will of course keep the rest of you updated if they actually manage to seriously damage each other.

action, sort of

[nevercaught]

Kimmuriel will not be able to while this plane still keeps him severed from his abilities! [Jarlaxle calls over from the other side of the campsite.]

continuing video/action

[noamuth]

[Whoops, busted. She raises her voice a little to shoot back at him - ]

As it has rendered all your toys useless?

Re: continuing video/action

[nevercaught]

I am more than just my toys! Do not forget that I know well my way with a blade.

[And he has camping knives at least?]

Re: continuing video/action

[noamuth]

Of course. [She is rolling her eyes, which is perhaps not the most charitable response to the man who has done some rather large favors for her and the portions of her family that she actually cares about, but on the other hand, well. It's well documented by now that he's Like This.]

[crystalmaster]

Uh ... congratulations on the new Malamar?

[Radley is surprised by it happening so suddenly too. At least the Malamar seems happy....]

video

[nellacerniera]

... Goodness.

That's going to take some adjusting to, I imagine.

text | un: yharaskrik

[psionicmolotov]

She is still very affectionate so I will have to negotiate with her

[ It's all a lot harder to treat casually when the Pokemon giving a hug is almost as big as you. ]

text

[nellacerniera]

I wish you the best of luck with that. I can only imagine how startling that must have been.

[psionicmolotov]

Yes some of these creatures can evolve under special conditions

Being turned upside down was one of them

I cannot even begin to understand how that works

[nellacerniera]

If there's some sort of logic to it, I cannot even begin to imagine what it might be.

video

[fearinahandfulof]

Oh. Right. That... happens with those.

[Cassandra doesn't have one herself, but she did work in a PokeCenter for a while, and there was that one week where she had to work at the Goldenrod Department Store after her then-Doublade stole a Dusk Stone so she could evolve, so she's seen it in action a few times.]

Re: video

[nevercaught]

I feel as if the false mother ought to have warned him of such possible transformation.

[fearinahandfulof]

Would he have trusted what she said, when she was also telling him she was his mother?

[nevercaught]

... you have a point, my friend.

Though in truth, we are a suspicious people, so he may not have trusted her if she were his Matron Mother.

[fearinahandfulof]

["Friend"?]

So any warning she gave would likely not have helped at all.

And while you can look up information on the devices they give us, that's only helpful if you know what the devices are or how to use them. I know using them didn't come naturally to me.

[nevercaught]

[He calls everyone 'friend.' Don't worry about it.]

Alas, perhaps not.

And no, they did not come naturally to us, either, though we applied ourselves to their use and I think we've acquitted ourselves quite well, for not having them in our world.

[fearinahandfulof]

It would be helpful if they had some sort of paper with relevant information that came with the pokeball that holds them, though.

[Assuming he would have believed that, but still.]

That's good.

[nevercaught]

Oh yes. Our creatures are perfectly capable of holding objects--why not papers with their pertinent details on them. Though, I suppose, that is anticipating that all of us are literate.

[fearinahandfulof]

That's true too...

[Hm.]

Pictures, maybe? But that might not be clear either, if you don't recognize what's in the picture.

[nevercaught]

[He sighs.]

Sad to say, the devices might be the most practical method after all. If nothing else, one can make them speak aloud.

[fearinahandfulof]

I guess...

[Cassandra's done her best to learn her way around the thing, but she figures it says a lot that Lythie is better at using it than she is.]

[nevercaught]

Well, I am literate, but not all are. [He's from a quasi-medieval world. It's not a guarantee.] And even some that are might better appreciate a device that can read faster than they can. [His old friend Zaknafein, for instance. Zak was a slow reader, having not much need of it until his talent with the blade had seen him raised from the common folk to the nobility.]