First Report [video]

[nectarofknowledge]

[ In one of the Paldea dorms, there is a young preteen girl sitting at a desk, having set up the device to look at her. Her expression isn't... much, and her voice sounds flat. As she begins to speak, she repeatedly taps her fingers on the desk - those who have any knowledge of morse code will understand what she's "saying" there the same things she's speaking out loud. ]

This is a distress signal, calling for Scrooge McDuck or any one of his many... many... many associates. S.O.S. Violet Sabrewing reporting. I haven't been able to deduce if this kidnapping and subsequent hideous transformation is the work of any remaining members of F.O.W.L. or one of Mister McDuck's many... many... many enemies. Regardless, I will stay in place until further information is gathered about my situation and will appreciate a rescue post-haste. My fathers know that whenever I sleep over at Webbigail's, things tend to happen, but this may too much for them to handle.

Speaking of which - Webbigail, Lena, if you're hearing this, rest assured I am currently safe, albeit possibly traumatized by my transmogrification. I look forward to seeing you both as soon as possible. Dewford, Hubert, and Llewellyn, I trust the three of you to keep those two from going into homicidal revenge mode.

[ A pause, and then she moves to grab something from beneath the table... it's an Espurr! She props it on the table.]

On a less distressing note, any ideas on how to convince my fathers to let me keep this strange magic cat would be highly appreciated. I have named him Loki, after the Norse God of trickery. Say hello, Loki.

[ Loki says nothing, and just stares into the camera. o_o ]

Once again, this is Violet Sabrewing, over and out.

Comments

[nightyorb]

Yeah, there is a pretty big one at this academy. Most towns have libraries too.

Don't get too comfortable here though. This isn't where we normally stay. Right now, we are in a different region than we are normally trapped in.

[nectarofknowledge]

I think it shall be a long time before I'm anything remotely close to "comfortable".

But I don't suppose you know why we are in a different region than "normal?"

[nightyorb]

Two guys with more money than sense decided to take us all on a holiday trip. I'm not sure if that is the full story though. After all, you are here. Is whatever is kidnapping us and dumping us here also concerned with us getting a holiday? I doubt it. They clearly don't care about our comfort or they wouldn't have shoved us into these.

[He gestures vaguely at his very human body. Eww.]

[nectarofknowledge]

Ah, that would be the gentlemen I woke up to see. I admit, I was rather busy screaming in horror at whatever they were and my own appearance to really hear too much of what they had to say.

[nightyorb]

[That does surprise Riz a little.]

Had you never seen a human before? Ever?

[nectarofknowledge]

I had never even heard the word "human" before arriving in this place. They don't exist in my world - or at the very least, I've never seen them. To be fair, I'm still learning a lot about all the hidden mysteries and secrets of my world.

[nightyorb]

Interesting. Most worlds seem to have humans in some form. Even if they are missing a lot of the other normal stuff, they always seem to have humans.

So. What were you?

[Not the most polite way to phrase that, but Riz is not necessarily a polite boy. He can be blunt, and harsh, but mostly he means well.]

[nectarofknowledge]

[ She doesn't seem to mind the bluntness - perhaps she's known be blunt herself. ]

A hummingbird. I have feathers atop my skin, a beak on my face, and my feet have less digits. I'm also missing my tail-feathers.

[nightyorb]

When you say hummingbird do you mean, like, a tiny little bird or like a bird-person?

[Listen, Riz comes from a world where technically both could exist.]

[nectarofknowledge]

The correct category would be bird-person. Though as a child, I am short by nature.

[ DT is a canon where technically both do exist, but we Do Not Talk About It. ]

[nightyorb]

Huh. Cool. I've got a friend who is part bird. Well, she is half-phoenix technically. You two are kinda similar, now that I think about it.

[nectarofknowledge]

I'll admit, comparing me to an immortal legend famed for wisdom and power is quite flattering and may earn points in the "trusting you" factor.

[ Partly true, partly kidding. ]

[nightyorb]

[Riz has never been able to charm anyone into anything.]

Does it add points if I say she runs a library on a floating pirate city?

[nectarofknowledge]

For a story you may be potentially be making up to lower my guard, you certainly have my full and undivided attention.

[nightyorb]

I don't have to make up stories about Ayda. She is already really cool.

Like, this one time, we were in hell, and Ayda thought the devils were after Fig, so she threatened to unmake hell and all the devils in it. She also threatened to flood the whole place.

Fig was fine, so she didn't end up doing that. But she was ready to.

[And as a guy who has offered to bite out an eye to get even with someone who hurt his best friend, Riz fully supports and understands Ayda's ways.]

[nectarofknowledge]

One would think unmaking an entire realm would be the ultimate threat and anything thereafter would just be unnecessary. I take it her friendship with this "Fig" brings out the extremes in her?

[ But she can understand that entirely. When Webby was taken, Violet and Lena were prepared to raze F.O.W.L. and everyone within it until there was nothing left. ]

[nightyorb]

Hah, friendship. She and Fig are dating. She calls Fig her paramour and Fig calls her her succubus.

[A small pause, and damnit, Riz just has to go into this. It's very minor and overly detail oriented, but somehow he gets a feeling this person would understand.]

Which, for the record, incorrect? A succubus is a type of lust devil, not a devil's partner. Which I know we covered in class. Except, I guess, Fig doesn't attend her classes. Or, at least, not the right ones.

[All of this is huffed with a mixture of exasperation and intense, utter fondness. Riz loves all his friends, even if they are making him slowly go grey.]

[nectarofknowledge]

Ah, that would explain it. A deep friendship can make one's feelings go into the extreme when someone they care for is in danger, but if I understand it correctly, romance intensifies such extremities by a hundred and ten percent. But this is one of the areas of study that still remains a study, as I've yet to enter a romantic relationship myself.

But in regards to the classification, perhaps the term "succubus" is meant as a term of affection instead of their actual title? It may simply may be their way of complimenting Ayda and expressing that they find her extremely physically attractive.

[ She could list all of Webby's affectionate nicknames for Lena, but then we'd be here all day and they both have things to do. ]

[nightyorb]

I couldn't tell you.

[Yes, Riz is dating Boober. But he also knows he is absolutely willing to kill for his friends. He'd kill for Boober too, but he would've done that even before they started dating.

Then again, he's just a single data point. And he famously has his issues with romance. Maybe, as is so often, his feelings are weird and normal folks would do so much more for the people they are dating.]

No, I think Fig just genuinely thinks that is what it's supposed to be. You'd think she'd be more informed now that she is, you know, an archdevil and all.

[Riz talks very casually about being friends with both a half phoenix and also an archdevil. All his friends are so cool, ok.]

[nectarofknowledge]

Your companions are certainly an interesting and varied lot. I feel as though I would be very entertained hearing any stories you share about them, and thus about yourself. If you don't find the matter offensive, may I ask what species of creature you were before this world transformed you?

[ The original point of this conversation has probably been last, but hey, that's what happens when you're too cool yourself, Riz. ]

[nightyorb]

I don't mind you asking. Also, I already asked you what you were, so if I did mind, I'd be pretty hypocritical.

I'm a goblin. Which, I realise you might not be familiar with. Think small, green, big ears, sharp teeth, tail. Capable of eating anything. Gods, I miss that.

[He gets lots of good food here, but just as a matter of principal, he's offended that this human body has necessitated in him being picky, a Goblin's worst nightmare and insult.

(Of course, to Riz picky means 'can't eat literal trash')]

[nectarofknowledge]

Amazing. When you say anything, would you mind expanding upon that? Typically when one says "eat anything", it just means they have a wider palate than most, but given the way this conversation has gone, I'm sensing something more literal on the horizon.

[ Yes Riz, impress the young child with your diet. You'll never be any more hip than right now. ]

[nightyorb]

When I say everything I don't mind like-- okay, we can't eat completely inedible things like rocks. But as long as it is somewhat digestible, we can eat it. [He ticks things off on his fingers.] bugs, raw meat, expired meat, plants, fermented things, stuff from the trash, dragon.

[nectarofknowledge]

And you do so willingly - tell me, do they actually taste good according to your taste buds, or does your mouth simply bypass flavor and only focuses on what can sustain you?

[nightyorb]

Uh. Both? Boober says my tastebuds cannot be trusted, but a lot of that stuff does taste good to me. I just... also don't really care if it tastes bad.