victory_road | [ action + voice ]

Current Mood: depressed

Entry tags:

[ action + voice ]

Who: Keith, action closed to housemates and close CR, voice open to all
When: Action takes place the morning after Allura leaves PokéWorld. Voice takes place several days later, once Keith has it together enough to actually say something.
Where: Shiro's house in the Sevii Islands
Summary: Arceus sent Allura home, and Keith isn't good at handling loss... it takes him some time before he can say anything to anyone publicly.

action

Keith was peripherally aware of something wrong as he slowly woke up. The sound, feel, and scent of someone sleeping next to him had become so ingrained in his mind that the absence was more noticeable than ever. At first, his brain tried to make reason of it. She'd just gotten up earlier and let him sleep in. It wasn't that unusual. There were still times when neither of them slept well, and sometimes they just needed to do something besides laying in bed. Or maybe Allura was going to surprise him for some reason and have breakfast ready or bring it up to their room. Though, their anniversary had already passed... and they'd had a quiet small celebration for it, considering they were still in Paldea at the time. And, unless Allura wanted to do something now that they were back in Sevii, that was up to her. Keith honestly wasn't big on planning parties, but he'd help her with one if she wanted it.

He stretched, taking in a deep breath and letting it out in a sigh. For a moment, he stared at the ceiling and listened for any other ambient noises in the house. It was quiet. Maybe he was the first one to wake up after her? He sat up, glancing at the window to judge the time before noticing something shiny in the bed next to him where she normally slept.

Her rings...

Just then, he heard a commotion at the door before it was pushed open by several Pokémon. Coressa was first, and the icy fox-like creature entered the room with urgency. She made some soft cooing sounds, sniffing around at Allura's side of the bed for a moment, then gave Keith an expectant look.

Something flipped in his stomach.

"Coressa...?" He reached over and grabbed the two rings, Allura's engagement ring, a delicate and elegant design combining a chip of fire stone and a chip of ice stone that Shiro had given them for Christmas before they'd been engaged, and her wedding ring, a coordinating band that fit snugly against the engagement ring, adding several small and delicate diamonds to the design. "Where's Allura?"

Coressa made another soft sound, lowering her ears and head. The others that had followed her in were just as upset... and they were all from her team. Keith shook his head.

"No... no no no... this can't be right," he said. But he knew it was, and he felt his anger start to flare. His hand tightened around the rings in his hand, and he almost snarled. "Fucking- fucking stupid llama," he ground out. "NO!" He flew out of the bed. "It's not FAIR!" He punctuated the last word with a punch to the wall.

Sorry, Shiro... Keith didn't mean to damage the wall...

=====

voice

[It had been several days now. Keith had finally worked up the nerve to say something. Sure, others who already knew had offered to do it for him. But he felt like it should be him. He'd just... needed time. Time to build himself up and make the announcement.

But he couldn't wait any longer. It wasn't fair to anyone else to keep them from knowing.

He took a breath and then cleared his throat. It was a slightly choked sound. It was hard for him to speak.]

Ah... So... Um. A few days ago... [A twinge of anger dripped from his tone with his next words.] Arceus decided that Allura needed to go home. [Keith caught himself, pausing to steady his tone again.] I'm... I'm sorry I didn't say anything right away. It's been... difficult. [That was an understatement.]

I'm sure several of her Pokémon have people in mind that they'd like to stay with, so... if anyone... feels a connection to some of them... We're here on Four Island. [Keith didn't want any of her companions to go off alone if they didn't have to, and he was determined to keep any that didn't pick someone else as a new trainer. Some had already decided to stay with him anyway. And that was fine. He'd take care of them for her. Hoping for her to come back.]

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Allura's gone?

[That's hard to believe, and it shows in his voice. It's not unusual for people to disappear, but Allura had felt like such a part of this place it's hard to picture it without her.

Of course, upset as he is, it's got to be far worse for Keith. In his shock it's more of an afterthought, but after a long few moments of silence he does at least remember to check in on him.]

Are you... okay?

[He knows what the answer will be. He regrets his phrasing even before he finishes asking, but he's not sure how else he can ask.]

[It took a moment for Keith to respond. There was the sound of cloth rustling as he sort of weakly shrugged.]

I don't know... maybe I will be... later...

[Losing those closest to him was his worst fear. Well, one of them certainly. He didn't handle it well, and he knew that his reactions were trauma responses from losing his dad when he was so young and not having his mom when he was child.

But, knowing that, and being able to control his reactions to it happening were two very different things.]

[Min-Gi winces, but it's too late to take back what he said.]

Yeah... later...

[Because of course he's not going to be okay now. Min isn't sure he'd ever feel okay without Ryan around. Not completely.]

If you need me or Ryan, we're only a ferry away.

[Two, technically, but he wants to make the offer sound as easy as possible. He still sounds stilted and awkward despite his best intentions though.]

[There was a soft snort. Keith knew what Min-Gi meant.]

Yeah... [He took a shaky breath.] I don't know. I've got some flying Pokémon... seems to work better than the ferry. [It was a bad attempt at trying to lighten the mood.]

[A bad attempt is still an attempt. Keith is trying, and that's a start.]

Yeah. I guess that's more convenient than a ferry, right?

It's free, at least. [There was the sound of a shrug before he sighed.]

Thanks, though... for real. I appreciate the offer.

I guess. I always find ferries nostalgic, but I should probably look at getting Fly eventually.

Well... [Keith followed the shift in topic, grateful for it, honestly.] I mean... I can see that, I guess. I didn't have a lot of 'em where I grew up. But, yeah.

[Is switching topics the most sympathetic thing he could be doing? Min-Gi isn't sure, but it definitely feels more comfortable. Hopefully for the both of them.]

They were the only way you could even get to some places where I grew up, but like you say, flying's a lot easier.

[It was a good distraction, at the very least. That counted for something.]

There weren't many places like that left where I'm from, but yeah. The ferries were still there for people who preferred it.

(Even though Harry has never gotten the chance to meet Allura and he had only known Keith for some time, he certainly knows what it is like to lose a loved one in this world a couple of times by now. He just wants to check if Keith is going to be alright soon.)

Oh dear. This is really sad to hear, Keith. I’m really sorry that you had lost someone close to you. I have went through something similar with one of my best friends from my world when she vanished from this place over a year ago.

[Keith clenched his jaw for a second, trying to keep himself from yelling at Harry that losing a wife was definitely not the same as losing a best friend, but he stopped himself. Harry was just trying to relate. It wasn't his fault. He didn't deserve to be the target of Keith's rage. He'd gotten aware enough of his own feelings and where they were directed as he'd grown up, and he knew it wasn't fair to take it out of someone just trying to be supportive.

He took a deep breath, but it was shaky.]

Yeah...

[It was the best he could do in the moment. His tone was dark, moody, angry...]

(He could hear the anguish Keith is feeling over what had happened to Allura. Losing a friend and losing a spouse in a different world are two completely different things but these losses are still similar enough to relate and Harry is doing his best to lend an ear and listen to someone’s pain for once.

The young ex wizard doesn’t have much to say at this time as to not get the poor guy on the other side of the line rilled up.)

Ah okay. I understand that today is a very stressful time. Um, are her Pokémon with you right now? I do hope that they’re going to be alright without her.

[Right. The Pokémon. They were important, and Keith was doing his best to keep it together in order to keep caring for them.]

Yeah. They are. [He cleared his throat, pulling himself together a bit more.] I'm going to do my best to keep the ones that want to stay. If any want to go to a different trainer or head off on their own, that's their choice. But, I've spent time with them all along, and, in a way, Allura and I were together enough that we bonded with each other's Pokémon almost as much as our own.

Phew. That is good to hear. At least they’re in good hands with you. Whatever their decision is, I do hope that they will have a place to stay in and someone who would look after them.

Ah that is really nice. It sounds like you and Allura have been very close with each other and the same applies to your teams as well.

Me, too. [Keith wanted to be sure of that, and he'd probably check up on them for a while after handing them over.

But the next statement... Keith made a tiny choked noise.]

We were married. [His voice got a bit sharp.] So, yeah. I'd say we were close. [Sorry, Harry... Keith wasn't good with grief. He tended to mask his more vulnerable emotions with anger.]

Ah, I see. Very close indeed.

(Harry is a bit jealous that Keith did got to marry the girl he loves even if it was cut short by her disappearance from the Pokémon world. Him on the other hand, he has no luck with the ladies even at his world. Ginny was fuming mad at him for not telling her about their breakup during the Battle of Hogwarts. And yes it was his fault for not informing her sooner.

He thought that maybe he should give Keith some space and time so he can grieve for the time being and he could come back another time to see how he is holding up later on.)

If it’s okay, I might take my leave now and we could talk again the next time we meet up.

[Keith sighed and then sniffed a bit. There was a moment of quiet before he finally said something.]

Sorry... I just... Yeah. It's hard to think right now. Later would be better.

[He wasn't angry at Harry. He was trying to rein his temper in. It was harder on days like these, when bad things happened.]

Yeah, it is for the best that you can take all the time you need to think this over. Either way, I’ll see you real soon.

(Harry quietly cuts the feed to give Keith some space.)

Oh my. She just vanished from this place too?

(Isabela’s eyes widen in shock upon hearing Keith’s voice post. She is starting to wonder if this is very similar to Mirabel’s disappearance prior to her arrival. Man this place is practically cursed when it comes to people coming and going without any warning or goodbyes.

And now that this affected someone else too, she can’t keep but to give her sympathies to him.)

I’m very sorry to hear that you lost her just recently. It is never easy to lose someone you’re very close to from home and I don’t know what could I do if Luisa might disappear from this place too.

[Keith swallowed hard.]

Yeah... she did.

[He sounded bitter... very... bitter...]

It happens to people from time to time.

[Including Lance, Hunk, and Pidge, and apparently several others... like himself and Romelle, from what Shiro'd said... as well as Allura before.]

Part of me wants to hope she'll come back, but... she might not even remember everything we went through here. So, what's the point?

Oh dear, that is more commonplace than I initially thought. Either way, I do appreciate the heads up.

(She is pretty nervous about hearing stories of people losing friends and loved ones in this world as she is worried that at any moment Luisa might be sent back home without a warning.)

Didn’t expect to hear the twist of people coming back but without any memories of being in here before. That must be a very scary thought to have. I do hope and wish that if she does come back, she will still have those memories with her and being able to remember the people she has met along the way.

[Considering both of them had been through it before? Keith was pretty sure they didn't exactly have the best track record with remembering previous stays. He wanted to hope that, if she came back, she'd remember, but his cynical side, the one that kept reminding him that his luck was crap about stuff like that. It was really hard to keep a positive outlook.]

Thanks.... I uh... I appreciate the thought.

[He did. Honestly. After all, if he was having trouble keeping that thought going, then having others doing it for him was better than no one at all.]

You’re very welcome. I just want to check in and make sure that folks will recover from a loss this difficult. I do really hope that you two can be together again someday when she returns.

(She is trying to be very hopeful for a loved one of someone she has known for a while to come back with intact memories. But at the same time, she is also being realistic about setting expectations in a high level. Isabela hasn’t experienced any major losses in the relations department in this world just yet but she is bracing for the possibility of it happening to her somewhere down the line.

And yet she is hoping for the best to happen with Keith and Allura’s future reunion somewhere in the future.)

[There was a moment as Keith let that sink in. "...someday when she returns." He liked the thought of that. He wasn't sure how much hope he could hold on to, but it was nice to know that someone felt that way.]

Yeah. [He sighed.] It's... a nice thought. [He rubbed his face.]

I um... I'm sorry I'm not uh... you know... up for much talking.

[Not that he was as a rule, but today was harder.]

That’s okay. I really do understand what you’re saying. I’ll just let you go if you want some space today.

Thanks... I just... I felt like I needed to tell everyone. They deserved to know, and I wanted to be the one to give the news. I couldn't make everyone wait any longer. It's not fair to them.

[Allura was well-loved. It was easy to do. She was beautiful, smart, open, friendly, outgoing, kind... Keith didn't have enough adjectives, but he knew she had a lot of friends here, and they didn't deserve to be kept in the dark about her for too long, even if it meant him having to step up before he was ready and make the announcement.]

I think... after this... some space might not be a bad idea.

[He was reaching the end of his rope when it came to peopling, and that was already short without a heavy loss hanging over him.]

Yes of course. That is a good thing to let know every one of what has happened so they won’t be confused for a long time.

Will be seeing or talking to you sometime later.

(She soon cuts the feed out of politeness.)

[Radley is stunned. Allura seemed like one of those who would keep staying on. And it seems so cruel, when she and Keith had been happy here....]

I'm really sorry.

[He's rarely at a loss for words, but he's not sure of what to say here. It's such a blow, even though he hadn't known her that well. And he doubts anything said will make it any better. Almost anything he can think of, he's pretty sure might make it worse.]

Yeah.

[Radley and a lot of others. Keith knew Allura had been popular. Honestly, she was so good at bringing people into her circle. She was charismatic.

Keith knew that. Heck, he'd even managed to resist it early on, but he still ended up falling in love with her.]

Thanks...

I'm sure there's others you'd feel more comfortable talking to, but if you ever want to talk, I'm around.

[Sometimes it's easier to talk to someone not known as well. Other times it's harder.]

Thanks.

[Keith was bad with words even around people he knew. Expressing himself to someone he didn't know that well, especially in a mood like this, probably wasn't going to be easy at all. He didn't want to insult anyone. He had gotten better about that sort of thing, after all. But he was pretty sure he wasn't going to really be able to open up to Radley on that level.]

I'm not... great... at talking...

That's fine. I completely get that. I'll let you go if you'd rather.

[Keith hesitated. He had this weird sense of obligation to be... available? To others... in case they wanted to say something about Allura, but... he wasn't sure if he had the strength for that right now.

So, with a slight sniff, he nodded, before remembering this wasn't video.]

Sorry. [His voice was rough.] But thanks... for understanding.

Sure.

[He does know what it's like for someone precious to leave. He had Scotch just for a weekend after longing for over two years for someone from home to come, and although he knew it was likely to just be a weekend, he had hoped with all his heart that Scotch would instead be allowed to stay. But it would be even worse to have had someone as long as Keith had Allura and then to be torn away.]

I'll talk to you later then.

[Radley moves to cut the feed.]

Later...

[And Keith let the feed cut off.]

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