Who: Scar, Lust, Envy, Heather, Henry What: Super Backdated 4th Wall Post Prom Room Party Where: The Academy Warnings: PG 13 - Over consumption of Alcohol, Drunken Discussion of Sexual Themes, Mild Body Horror
The room is: teetering dangerously close to wasted.
Scar’s head has been draped across Lust’s lap for the better part of an hour. He has no desire to move, possibly ever. But he does, in a break of silence, pipe up.
"Envy."
He rolls over, eyes straining in the scrawny homunculus' direction.
Envy hears his name and lifts his own head from where he and Heather had gone back to being flopped in a tangle on the bed, looking at stupid pictures on her 'Gear. Several of his limbs are currently not the right length but he's not paying attention to that right now.
He blinks at the question.
"What?"
He's too drunk to even begin to try to figure out why Scar is asking him about Heather's perfume so he's just going to roll with it. But after a too long pause he turns his head and drops it straight down into the crook of her neck. To remember what the perfume had smelled like.
Then raises his head again, grinning lopsidedly. His pupils are enormous. Full kittycat eye going on here.
By this point, everybody is just straight-up goofy and Heather is no exception.
Any reservations she may (or may not) normally have about forming one half of a noodly pile of androgyny with Envy while in the presence of others are long-gone. So when he faceplants into her neck, the result is a muffled, giddy squeal without her usual follow-up of trying to headlock and/or noogie him.
She's still laughing when he pulls away again.
"Sc... Scar helped! Helped me pick it out. He'sso wise."
No sarcasm detectable in her words, but they are quite slurred.
"Hm." A lazy, smug note plays on Scar's face. That's funny because Scar picked it. "I was correct, then."
Then, Envy's eyes command an attention all their own. Scar's eyebrows shoot up, his every thought process slowed to the point where logical steps which should barely be at an incline are canyons. He is more than familiar with homunculus eyes, but not in that he looks at a lot of homunculi. He looks at a homunculus a lot. One. So when he meets Envy's eyes, and his pupils are swallowing his irises, it throws Scar for some kind of loop he isn't fond to linger on.
His eyes are sure lingering on it, though, frozen with that weird intensity of his while he susses out that he is, indeed, looking at Envy.
Yup! That's Envy.
He looks up to Heather, his head still loose on his neck.
Envy barely has time to react to the fact that Scar helped pick out the perfume and is "so wise", although he does have time for his grin to wobble in astonished amusement before he is met with Scar's Unblinking Gaze.
He stares back. He doesn't have the slightest clue what the hell is going on in the man's head but it is certainly happening at him! He'll have a weird staring contest, sure.
And then.
And then.
The laugh Envy lets out would probably qualify as a shriek, and he whips his head down to look back at Heather, "The pffhaha-phallic one?"
For the most part, after his third serving of Evil Soup, Henry has been in exactly one spot--on the floor on his back. He's taken several photos and is currently scrolling through them over and over.
He hears his name float by and reaches up to try and catch it.
"Freud. Everything comes back to it. Dicks...all the way down."
It's a good thing Envy doesn't actually need to breathe or he'd probably be in danger of passing out, he's laughing so hard.
After a minute, he raises his head again and barely manages to hold it together long enough to raise one six-fingered hand and point back and forth rapidly between himself and Lust and whispering dramatically, "We...we have snake branding."
Snrk.
Hang on, wait, more laughing. His cold face goes back into Heather's shoulder, then re-emerges as he nods, "Very masculine. I dunno what Freud is."
Lust, intoxicated in spite of her current nature, has entirely lost the thread of conversation. Old men and genitalia, a combination she most certainly doesn't enjoy, is all she can gather at this point.
"What is this sudden mass obsession with phalluses?"
She blinks, what Envy just said catching up to her alcohol steeped mind.
"Well there's nothing masculine about me, snake or no snake."
For a moment, Scar is unspeaking. His perpetual frown becomes something...
Haunted.
"Well..."
Maybe everything is dicks.
"He did..."
Scar meets Lust's eyes, and in this moment, he is able to piece together for absolute fact that whatever was about to come out of his mouth Should Absolutely Not.
Envy's nose had wrinkled in disgust, also at the thought of crusty old men and dicks in the same general vicinity, but then he starts snickering again when she falls back down.
He's turned to look over at Lust now that she's joined the conversation, just in time to also witness the thing Scar was About To Say before reconsidering. He 100% knows what that meant.
His eyebrows shoot up. OOOOHHHH WOW! YOU ALMOST DIED RIGHT THERE!
Lust's eyes narrow. She's not so drunk as to not follow Scar's truncated comment to it's logical conclusion. Given the context. She knows exactly what he's implying.
She does not appreciate it.
Some things are not acknowledged. Some things most certainly are not acknowledged in front of assorted company. His fumbling attempt at making up for it isn't going to cut it, either. Not right now.
"Lust, you're so pretty!" Henry says with all the earnesty in his heart. "When I was in your body, after I finished having a spinal tap eleven panic attack, I felt so beautiful and...female! It was like going to another country! It's not my home but it's nice to visit! And..."
Henry stops gushing and just kind of...goes mute. He's focused on some dot on the wall like a cat.
HEATHER'S JUMPING IN TOO. She literally has no idea how close Scar came to being sliced up like coleslaw just now-- she just thinks that Lust is voicing her high standards when it comes to compliments!
"You're ssoooo so so pretty, like, enough that even Iiiiii notice it, an' I'm... like... not... a noticer. You know?!"
She can't move with Envy laying on top of her so she's staring backwards and upside-down at Lust with BIG EARNEST EYES. She has drunk enough of the Concoction that she has temporarily forgotten her usually-rock-solid determination to not ever let slip how absolutely insane puppydog-in-love she was with Lust for awhile there.
The only person in the world who knows about that is the one who's sprawled on her like a giant cat right now.
"Not in present company..." he rumbles, as if the suggestion that he properly express himself in front of The House is simply absurd. As if he hadn't very nearly just revealed something far, far more intimate than the many, many words he could and would use to describe Lustobel. Lust.
He doesn't say it, but it crosses his face clear as day:
God help me, I am so very drunk.
Then, Henry speaks.
And Scar's jaw lands in his lap.
Heather also erupts in her own lavish praise, but he can't entirely piece that together right now. His eyes are once again locked to Lust's.
"What is Henry talking about," he whispers, perfectly audible to the room at large, but still... stricken. What is Henry talking about.
Henry's impassioned speech doesn't get much reaction out of Envy, on account of he was there and had to help Henry do everything for a full day. Especially because what HEATHER says next is much funnier because yeah, he absolutely does know about the Secret Crush. He can tease her about that in a minute though!
Because wow Scar not in present company?? Never mind that Envy also doesn't like to be openly affectionate in front of other people, right now Scar is the one having it demanded of him and, gasp, denying his ??? compliments.
He cups a hand around his mouth to shout, "Compliment her better! Don't be a wuss, you gotta say something really dramatic!"
That's about what Lust got out of that. She may be having trouble keeping up, a lot of people are saying many things, but she knows that everyone in the room is complimenting her and that's very nice.
Well, almost everyone.
She bites her own tongue, but thinks very hard at him that of all the things to be hesitant of saying in current company, with what had so nearly passed his lips...
Everyone else is doing it.
But she will answer his desperate question about what Henry meant. As funny as it would be to let him wallow in wondering.
"Henry is just referring...referencing one of those crazy weekends where we ended up spiritually transposed. Very awkward, you know. I didn't enjoy being a man."
He is eternally grateful that the matter of Henry has been clarified. Spiritually transposed is much more his language. Thank you, Isolust. Human Woman. Beloved.
In this moment, Scar's hazy, half-focused eyes snap razer-sharp. Right on Envy.
"I did not desecrate the grave of my only brother for this woman for the likes of you to accuse me of..." What word did Envy use? He's never heard it before... It's REALLY taking the wind out of his sails, here... "Wussery."
And you know what?
YOU KNOW WHAT???
Pretty as a country is, in fact, remarkably apt.
"I am promised to a woman who men would burn nations for, Envy, not that my expressing as much as ever turned your nose in anything but disgust."
Both arms shooting up in the air (and barely missing THE UTTERLY EVISCERATED Envy's face), Heather lets out a long whooping shout. Unlike when they were all captive on the living room floor and being subjected to Scar and Lust's uncomfortably intense emotional intimacy, THIS time Heather is both loopy and worked up enough that Scar succumbing to peer pressure dropping the mic is a moment worthy of her best drunk white girl cheer.
"NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN ABOUT!!"
And then on her arms' way back down, she grabs Envy's face and kisses him right on the lips like the New Year's countdown just finished and there's fireworks. IT JUST FELT RIGHT. HOORAY FOR SCAR.
Tipsy as he is, Envy fully did not expect his teasing to blow back on him with that level of uh. Intensity.
He actually shrinks back slightly against Heather under the full power of Scar's Earnest Beam Attack, eyes wide with surprise. Just a fun treat for the poor beleaguered, accused Ishbalan.
Also hm! Desecrated his brother's grave! That's a new bit of information about the gelatin mystery! (how in the fuck would he have known about that before right this moment, Scar??)
Of course, then Heather is whooping in his ear and he is being very suddenly kissed full on the mouth. Which gives him an opportunity to recover from the beam attack shock and also is very very nice so he's going to be kissing her back, one moment everyone!
It definitely prevents the shock from evolving in a more fraught direction, because when he pulls back he's got kind of a loopy grin on his face again. It's hard to get angry about being soundly defeated when you're being smooched, and Heather's already taken the lead on the followup tone. He DID ask for dramatic, and it WAS a compliment for his favorite baby sister who deserves all the dramatics in the world. So instead of sulking, he throws his head back and crows, then raises his hands above his head and claps.
"YEAH! Dramatic compliments for her like THAT! Hah, you GOT me!"
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no subject
The room is: teetering dangerously close to wasted.
Scar’s head has been draped across Lust’s lap for the better part of an hour. He has no desire to move, possibly ever. But he does, in a break of silence, pipe up.
"Envy."
He rolls over, eyes straining in the scrawny homunculus' direction.
"Did you appreciate Heather's perfume?"
no subject
He blinks at the question.
"What?"
He's too drunk to even begin to try to figure out why Scar is asking him about Heather's perfume so he's just going to roll with it. But after a too long pause he turns his head and drops it straight down into the crook of her neck. To remember what the perfume had smelled like.
Then raises his head again, grinning lopsidedly. His pupils are enormous. Full kittycat eye going on here.
"Yeah!"
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Any reservations she may (or may not) normally have about forming one half of a noodly pile of androgyny with Envy while in the presence of others are long-gone. So when he faceplants into her neck, the result is a muffled, giddy squeal without her usual follow-up of trying to headlock and/or noogie him.
She's still laughing when he pulls away again.
"Sc... Scar helped! Helped me pick it out. He'sso wise."
No sarcasm detectable in her words, but they are quite slurred.
no subject
Then, Envy's eyes command an attention all their own. Scar's eyebrows shoot up, his every thought process slowed to the point where logical steps which should barely be at an incline are canyons. He is more than familiar with homunculus eyes, but not in that he looks at a lot of homunculi. He looks at a homunculus a lot. One. So when he meets Envy's eyes, and his pupils are swallowing his irises, it throws Scar for some kind of loop he isn't fond to linger on.
His eyes are sure lingering on it, though, frozen with that weird intensity of his while he susses out that he is, indeed, looking at Envy.
Yup! That's Envy.
He looks up to Heather, his head still loose on his neck.
"That is kind of you."
That loose head of his flops back down.
"The phallic one was the clear choice."
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He stares back. He doesn't have the slightest clue what the hell is going on in the man's head but it is certainly happening at him! He'll have a weird staring contest, sure.
And then.
And then.
The laugh Envy lets out would probably qualify as a shriek, and he whips his head down to look back at Heather, "The pffhaha-phallic one?"
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However, Scar dropping the word 'phallic' promptly sets her off again... and then Envy repeating it sends her into hysterics.
She grabs his shoulder for emphasis, but she cannot produce any words to emphasize. She is wheezing.
"Ffff... FFFFHAHAAAA! W-- we-- ..."
There's tears.
Scar you gotta help her out here.
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"Henry proposed that the snake branding suggested masculinity. A base analysis, but perhaps not inaccurate."
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He hears his name float by and reaches up to try and catch it.
"Freud. Everything comes back to it. Dicks...all the way down."
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After a minute, he raises his head again and barely manages to hold it together long enough to raise one six-fingered hand and point back and forth rapidly between himself and Lust and whispering dramatically, "We...we have snake branding."
Snrk.
Hang on, wait, more laughing. His cold face goes back into Heather's shoulder, then re-emerges as he nods, "Very masculine. I dunno what Freud is."
no subject
"Freud was... batshit crusty old psychology guy. Thought everything was dicks."
Then, sobering up momentarily for the bit, she angles her head to stare up-close into Envy's eyes, her nose bumping his.
"Everything."
... And then she can't hold the face any longer and she flops her head back against the bed, bursting into mad laughter again.
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Lust, intoxicated in spite of her current nature, has entirely lost the thread of conversation. Old men and genitalia, a combination she most certainly doesn't enjoy, is all she can gather at this point.
"What is this sudden mass obsession with phalluses?"
She blinks, what Envy just said catching up to her alcohol steeped mind.
"Well there's nothing masculine about me, snake or no snake."
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Haunted.
"Well..."
Maybe everything is dicks.
"He did..."
Scar meets Lust's eyes, and in this moment, he is able to piece together for absolute fact that whatever was about to come out of his mouth Should Absolutely Not.
But now he can't just say nothing.
"You are, indeed, very feminine."
Nailed it.
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He's turned to look over at Lust now that she's joined the conversation, just in time to also witness the thing Scar was About To Say before reconsidering. He 100% knows what that meant.
His eyebrows shoot up. OOOOHHHH WOW! YOU ALMOST DIED RIGHT THERE!
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She does not appreciate it.
Some things are not acknowledged. Some things most certainly are not acknowledged in front of assorted company. His fumbling attempt at making up for it isn't going to cut it, either. Not right now.
"Oh, I think you can do better than that."
Compliment her better, Scar.
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Henry stops gushing and just kind of...goes mute. He's focused on some dot on the wall like a cat.
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HEATHER'S JUMPING IN TOO. She literally has no idea how close Scar came to being sliced up like coleslaw just now-- she just thinks that Lust is voicing her high standards when it comes to compliments!
"You're ssoooo so so pretty, like, enough that even Iiiiii notice it, an' I'm... like... not... a noticer. You know?!"
She can't move with Envy laying on top of her so she's staring backwards and upside-down at Lust with BIG EARNEST EYES. She has drunk enough of the Concoction that she has temporarily forgotten her usually-rock-solid determination to not ever let slip how absolutely insane puppydog-in-love she was with Lust for awhile there.
The only person in the world who knows about that is the one who's sprawled on her like a giant cat right now.
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He doesn't say it, but it crosses his face clear as day:
God help me, I am so very drunk.
Then, Henry speaks.
And Scar's jaw lands in his lap.
Heather also erupts in her own lavish praise, but he can't entirely piece that together right now. His eyes are once again locked to Lust's.
"What is Henry talking about," he whispers, perfectly audible to the room at large, but still... stricken. What is Henry talking about.
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Because wow Scar not in present company?? Never mind that Envy also doesn't like to be openly affectionate in front of other people, right now Scar is the one having it demanded of him and, gasp, denying his ??? compliments.
He cups a hand around his mouth to shout, "Compliment her better! Don't be a wuss, you gotta say something really dramatic!"
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"Yeah, Friend, say something nice."
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That's about what Lust got out of that. She may be having trouble keeping up, a lot of people are saying many things, but she knows that everyone in the room is complimenting her and that's very nice.
Well, almost everyone.
She bites her own tongue, but thinks very hard at him that of all the things to be hesitant of saying in current company, with what had so nearly passed his lips...
Everyone else is doing it.
But she will answer his desperate question about what Henry meant. As funny as it would be to let him wallow in wondering.
"Henry is just referring...referencing one of those crazy weekends where we ended up spiritually transposed. Very awkward, you know. I didn't enjoy being a man."
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In this moment, Scar's hazy, half-focused eyes snap razer-sharp. Right on Envy.
"I did not desecrate the grave of my only brother for this woman for the likes of you to accuse me of..." What word did Envy use? He's never heard it before... It's REALLY taking the wind out of his sails, here... "Wussery."
And you know what?
YOU KNOW WHAT???
Pretty as a country is, in fact, remarkably apt.
"I am promised to a woman who men would burn nations for, Envy, not that my expressing as much as ever turned your nose in anything but disgust."
no subject
Both arms shooting up in the air (and barely missing
THE UTTERLY EVISCERATEDEnvy's face), Heather lets out a long whooping shout. Unlike when they were all captive on the living room floor and being subjected to Scar and Lust's uncomfortably intense emotional intimacy, THIS time Heather is both loopy and worked up enough that Scarsuccumbing to peer pressuredropping the mic is a moment worthy of her best drunk white girl cheer."NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN ABOUT!!"
And then on her arms' way back down, she grabs Envy's face and kisses him right on the lips like the New Year's countdown just finished and there's fireworks. IT JUST FELT RIGHT. HOORAY FOR SCAR.
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1/2
He actually shrinks back slightly against Heather under the full power of Scar's Earnest Beam Attack, eyes wide with surprise. Just a fun treat for the poor beleaguered, accused Ishbalan.
Also hm! Desecrated his brother's grave! That's a new bit of information about the gelatin mystery! (how in the fuck would he have known about that before right this moment, Scar??)
2/2
It definitely prevents the shock from evolving in a more fraught direction, because when he pulls back he's got kind of a loopy grin on his face again. It's hard to get angry about being soundly defeated when you're being smooched, and Heather's already taken the lead on the followup tone. He DID ask for dramatic, and it WAS a compliment for his favorite baby sister who deserves all the dramatics in the world. So instead of sulking, he throws his head back and crows, then raises his hands above his head and claps.
"YEAH! Dramatic compliments for her like THAT! Hah, you GOT me!"
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