victory_road | 004. Video

_{[The entire screen is black and white as it pans across a backyard. Everything's buried under a good foot of snow, and big fat flakes are whirling past the camera so fast that they straight-up pixelate.]}

So... for those just tuning in...

_{[The camera's view jerks very suddenly to a massively fluffy Growlithe, who is very carefully sniffing the base of a completely snow-covered shrub.]}

... We're going for the fifteen-minute mark on Cooj TAKING HIS SWEET-ASS TIME FIGURING OUT WHERE TO PEE.

For the love of GOD, Cujo.

_{[He looks back at the camera, big pink tongue lolling out, and shakes off, spraying half-melted snow everywhere. Then he moves on to one of the patio chairs, along with the lumpy, weird-looking snowman from earlier that afternoon cheekily posed to be sitting in it-- to give that the once-over with his nose instead. And the trainer behind the camera lets out a melodramatic sigh.]}

What crime did I commit in a past life to deserve thi--

_{[and right then and there the video turns to a blur, because the snowman in the patio chair just stood up and Heather is LEAVING RIGHT NOW BECAUSE FUCK THAT COOJ YOU CAN PEE ON YOUR OWN]}

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[At almost the exact same time that she decides that she needs to get out of there, another figure comes sprinting around the corner of the house towards her--at least as much as he can sprint in a foot of snow.]

Get inside!

[You know what can move just a bit faster through the snow than a person and is coming around the corner right after him?]

[Looks like Envy and Wrath's...interesting snowcreatures from yesterday. This one is sporting a gaping maw full of branches made to look like horrible long teeth.]

_{[OH GOD NO SHE DOESNT LIKE IT]}

Envy what the fuck!

_{[YOU AND YOUR CREEPY LITTLE BROTHER DID THIS!]

[But she leaps through the door and then stands clear so that he can skid in past her before she slams the door shut in the snowthing's face.]}

I didn't think they would come to life!

[THERE WOULDN'T BE SO MANY WITH TEETH IF THEY HAD.]

[He dives in, almost slipping on the linoleum with his wet boots, before turning back to look at the snow goon that's slightly smushed up against the glass. Which has knocked all the branch teeth in its mouth askew, making it look even worse. Stick arms begin tapping at the glass. Across the yard, there's more movement.]

[Envy and Wrath had made a lot of horrifying snowmen.]

_{[WHY DO THEY HAVE TEETH. WHY DIDN'T ENVY JUST USE COAL TO GIVE IT A NICE LITTLE SMILE LIKE A NORMAL PERSON]

[She watches the thing smushing and thwacking against the window with a look of pure revulsion.]}

New rule, any snowmen in our yard now have to consist of NO MORE THAN three big balls and two sticks. ONLY TWO! And they can only be arms!

[HAS ENVY EVER BEEN A NORMAL PERSON WHEN GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO DO OTHERWISE]

You thought they were funny yesterday!

[The snowman continues to bonk the glass with its useless stick arms. And from the rest of the yard...it looks like there are a few others who have noticed the commotion and are headed towards the door to join their fellow abomination.]

_[NO....]

No, what I said was that it'd be funny if you guys made them all face the neighbors' yard!

IT'S NOT FACING THE NEIGHBOR'S YARD NOW, IS IT?

_{[She's not actually mad at him, regardless of the posturing-- everybody in this house just tends to do a whole lot of yelling.]

[Outside, Cujo is happily romping around the small advancing gang, tail flagged and tongue lolling out. 8D PLAY? PLAY???]}

[Shouting might be common in this house, but it still attracts attention. Al wanders into the room with a half-empty mug of cocoa, staring at Heather and Envy in utter confusion.]

What's going on here, and how much am I going to regret asking?

THAT'S NOT MY FAULT--!

[He's not mad either, but...really what else are you going to do in the face of a bunch of possibly-killer snowmen but yell?]

[Of course, unless you get interrupted by certain half brothers.]

[Envy shoots Al a disgruntled look, pointing at the figure pressed to the glass. The face has become even more misshapen. One or two of the others have stopped to look down at Cujo, reaching down with their stick arms. But even more are still starting to appear from all corners.]

[Five, ten...well, nine, as one of them falls directly into the pool and promptly dissolves.]

That's what's going on here.

At least half of them are Wrath's, not mine.

I've made a rule about snowmen.

Any snowmen from now on?

Have gotta be nice, cute snowmen.

_{[Why yes, she IS repeating it for Al's sake, because APPARENTLY IT'S IMPORTANT.]

[Cujo, meanwhile, is delighted about all his new friends!! He barks, play-bows, and then grabs one of the sticks that is reaching for him. TIME 2 PLAY]}

[...okay, is there really anything to do here other than stare in abject horror? Because he really isn't sure and that's about the only reaction that's happening right now.]

How?!

[Okay, and also shout and gesture at whatever the fuck that thing at the door is supposed to be, but CAN YOU BLAME HIM RIGHT NOW???]

You say that like they'd be coming to life every time!

[LET HIM CREATE ABOMINATIONS IT WAS SO FUN UNTIL JUST NOW]

We don't know how it happened this time!

[Well Cujo is going to get his wish, because the snowman whose arm has just been stolen is slowly shuffling along after him trying to catch up, futile-ly gnashing its horrible jaws and waving the other arm. It's followed by the two others.]

[Several more have made it to the porch and begin to join in the tapping on the door.]

_{[Happy as a... well, a big fluffy dog being chased, Cujo goes gallumphing off through the snow, tail flagged high. THIS IS HIS FAVORITE GAME YOU GUYS!!!!!]

[Heather just... groans. Both at the Growlithe and also at the fact that more of them are crowding the patio.]}

Jesus christ almighty.

How many did you guys make?!

Way too many.

[Al remembers watching the two of them at work earlier this morning, and what had been an admittedly cute scene is slowly becoming a retroactive, dawning horror in his mind.]

What they heck are we going to do? We can't just torch the things, we'll wind up setting the house on fire, too!

I don't know! There were a lot of sticks in the yard to put on them!

[...well damn, Al might actually be right about the fire.]

Uh...do you think if we knocked their heads off, they'd still get back up?

_{[Heather is already reaching into the corner for the broom that's always there. She has a grim, determined look on her face.]}

Only one way to find out.

[Al grimaces and sets his mug down on a table, ready to follow Heather out.]

Packed snow shouldn't be too hard to break apart again, if we have to.

004. Video

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